Ep 601 - Gen Z White Boy (feat. Devan Costa & Conner McNutt)

0:00Wow, wow, we're starting now, all right, so now okay, we're here a little hell is going up kind of Ignore epic cost that we just had some secret talk that we some secret Bad now because then the thing we're talking about okay, we didn't have that kind of secret talk because we're about to talk about the bath is right Yeah, it wasn't it wasn't I look I can assure you it wasn't out that that was not that secret talk, but no I mean I We technically did have we were talking. Yeah, we also started three times in row right now. Let's mix things 100% the best thing is on the up and up you can be assured of that which camera you can be assured of that Guys, thanks for coming. Do you think we know we're pretty big yet. Yeah, hey, anything help you're lucky. We're here I'll take it. I am genuinely lucky. You're here. Thank you. Yeah, I'm fucking proud of you guys here. Yeah, man God dang so with all the formalities out of the way we're talking about Bath is talking about it was a crazy situation because I thought I thought sinners was overrated, but I think that guy went

1:08And then I had to check out the Tourette's guys movie It's 12 years of slave I swear yeah, I swear what is it I swear what is it was the director writer no No, he's just it's based on him and I've acted a really good actor plays him in it and it's very good I watched it like right after the Guy was that's a crazy marketing. It was that's yeah, I felt like it was The movie also they apparently like missed the Oscar like caught off by like a week or two So this movie's gonna be in circulation for like the next year. Yeah, like it'll probably get nominated next year for the Oscars Yeah, so like we'll hear about the threats guy for next year unless he gets killed by Why was he at the bath as though threats guy? He's a British guy. He's actually kind of famous in England. Okay He's a white boy. He's a white boy. Yeah, he's a white boy. Yeah, why was he's never said it to Idris Elba, which is interesting I don't know if he's like

2:09Idris and Michael be Jordan is jacked. Yeah, yeah, you say to anybody whether the week or strong said at the Delroy Lindo too Who like is like an older black dude and probably really hurt it directed at him Okay, so yeah, this has been this has been kind of the first of all I'm curious Why was his movie being nominated? He's just yeah the actor that the guy in place him won But was he played by a black man? No, what are you talking about this for black? No, no Segregated award show I thought it was like the BET British BET. No, I thought it was like badass film awards That's very funny Yes, it's a guy who's like he's like a crown jewel of London like everyone loves this guy

3:12There's like a documentary series about the guy. Yeah, yeah, and then they made a movie out of it So like he's like I mean he called like the queen a cunt to her face. Yeah, he really his his one of his best friends died and when the cops came He goes like I killed him. I killed him. Yeah, you say the thing Thanks for clearing up the fact that so I was in the British B. I the whole time is going the British BET I love that that that's great. That's beautiful You got a beautiful mind You're like how cool of London. They have a black award show good for them So okay here and this is the question now where it's like because I've read a lot of the comments on it You do have a lot of like black ladies and even black guys being like that shit was in him. He knows what he said He knows what he did. Yeah, well there was two things. It is in him. They should have edited Because apparently they did edit out Epstein stuff. Yeah, they didn't edit out the N word. They also added out free Palestine. Yeah, yeah

4:12Sorry, that's what it was and he was calling the host of the show like a homo the entire time and they edited that out to what Yeah, he didn't say homo's, you know, yeah, obviously. Yeah, he's got the disease. I also got to do it I also have to rest when I see it So if he if his Tourette's made him go homo Like you know what you're saying That's you yeah, it's one of the the like the efflection is like so harsh What if he had like threats that was like sing song, you know true you're gay That could be Broadway Tourette's I could be a potential therapy of getting him to kind of like yeah sing it out But that's yeah, I mean, I personally don't think the man that was like some sort of you know showing of like innate evil And it's also like the question is is like What person it was like does that mean the word is there or the sentiment to use it? It's just that you've you've heard before that that's the worst thing to call a black person So then you say that that's literally like the disability. Yeah, you say the worst thing you can say to somebody

5:15It goes to the taboo and you can't help it and it like helps you like live It you feel like I've been watching all these like Tourette's people talk about it and yeah It's like you can't it's a you feel like you're gonna explode unless you don't get it out And then they also, you know, just go like you know, they like Fucking animals man I'm RJ Decker the private investigator uncovering the sunshine state starkest secrets Tuesdays it's the premiere of ABC's hottest new cry show RJ freaking Decker as I live in breathe He's a private eye Some bigger and a public mass You go to prison one time and suddenly it's all the jokes RJ Decker series premiere Tuesdays on ABC and stream on hulu The guy was podcasting at the bath. I think honestly. I think Tourette's are now the most I thought for a while

6:15I was like it's definitely straight white men most dangerous people in America or the world. Yeah Tourette's have replaced Yeah, yeah, it's caused I mean you've like Eric Cartman disease. I don't know It's pretty it's pretty I mean they're terrorists. They're literally terrorists and then Tourette's your evil terrorists You get an apologized technically too and black people on Twitter at least they're very upset by that What was his apology? It was just explaining the disease. Yeah, explaining it because in the movie There's an entire scene where the lady that takes him in is like You don't need to keep apologizing for something you can't help yeah black lady Yeah, it was will be Goldberg played his mom It was moon geek in the movie actually in the movie in the guy. There's an actor who played him Yes, like yeah, who probably had the time of his fucking life Imagine getting that role just saying it all over it. Fuck you like hey, man. You can eat pay like a $100,000. You guys see the N word a bunch. You're like oh, no Yeah, you gotta yell it out. Oh, fuck that's a terrible movie. He doesn't yell the N word in the movie. No, no, probably not But now okay, here's another thing that there's a scene in the movie where he's like painting his new flat

7:20Like his apartment with his friend and it's like green paint But it looks dark green and he's like puts it on his face as a tick and then he like puts it on his friend's face And they start doing it and that clip has surfaced on Twitter and black people are like so there's a black face scene in this movie too But it's like a dark green and it has nothing to do with race. He's just being like wacky And painting his friend's face and they're like oh, you know But now that's like an evil Yeah, there's like like this is a thought out thing and the movie is this like secret racist There is like a weird like cognitive dissonance with like, I don't know black people on Twitter Where it's like they would like go to like a kid's birthday party and a guy that gets painted like a giraffe and they go for sure You do in black face. Yeah, what's going on here? No, it's what it came the problem is though If you're somebody who's like, you know really prides yourself on being like socially aware and empathetic You came to a very nasty crossroads or like who's side of my own. Yeah, it's tough or the disabled. It's tough because also he He there was apparently like a mic and like he just said like why was there a big mic in front of the baffes wanted this to happen

8:24That was actually not a good. So they had it. They had the guy was just all night People There's this idea that he was front and center, you know, like wearing like with a swastika tattoo on his head He's like screaming the worst things of all time He know he was like 40 rows back apparently and but somehow like kind of mic'd And they cut everything else but this part. Yeah, that's weird Wait, they caught they caught they missed every oh they they cut hit Somebody on station at free palestine they cut that maybe they were kind of there's a couple guys where they're like Well, he was you were saying he was yelling like gay stuff to the whole time To the you the host Alan Cummings kept like like saying like just so everyone knows there's a there's a guy here that And he'd be like saying it By the way, imagine being gay in your last name is Cummings. That's so funny dude. That's incredible And that's just driving the threats guy crazy that just he's a fucking brilliant man

9:26He's my favorite No, but it's also just created a war because he's like a very like people really he's an earnest figure in England People really really like that. He said fuck the queen. Yeah, it's because it's because they forgive it They forgive it and the queen forgave it, you know, like like it's She's a bigger fish fry right now. One of her sons is running wild. She's also dead Yeah, I don't know when queen is dead Who's who the fuck's run in England right now? I wonder they're having guys scream out and this is Damn pedophile. I mean Warcher they're yelling out insults. They're just I don't know that guy fucking newty. I fuck that guy In though he was doing actually that is the core of that man's tire man He's just like to be ruined more than it has been his entire So you're on the same page as Jamie Foxx. Jamie Foxx is like it's the fucking dude. He knew what he said Meanwhile, Jamie Foxx is like tell like Leonardo capriot. Just fucking say it on the wall It's your acting is going to the end work. It's such a weird flex to be like yeah, mother. Like if like

10:30I'm trying to think I feel like if a guy With like downstairs room trip me on accident and I turned around. I was like mother fuck. You know what you did I know you fucking know it's like when an evil like reptilian Like like grandmother of yours or like I guess like even somebody's mom They start kind of like oh, they have they have They're for forgetful now, but they say like evil things in between the forgetfulness and you're like Know what you're fucking like fucking livias soprano or something. Yeah, where you just like I can't tell like People have said you have a you know a problem now, so I but but I still kind of think you're fucking with me It's also it just is so unbelievable if he has like a track record They're like oh, we kind of love this guy and then he just gets the bath does it goes finally The long con it paid off. Yeah, I've been faking Tourette's free years. Yeah, yeah The BET awards like This is insane. It's such an insane thing to not immediately be like

11:33Yeah, okay that guy, but I think what happened was it it fell too neatly with uh Who's your little bit fart lady? Yeah, I think that was like a A stun grenade for black. Yeah, they're kind of like wait. What the fuck was that like stop being so silly about it We don't know how to get angry about. No, it was yeah, it was a it was just kind of like because that was clearly You know slip up. Although my brother was like there's no my brother is completely against a sheet TV lady's like There's no way that was a slip up. Oh, you know, do I think this thing she says all the time? Yes She steps her toe. It's just far and word like it's that's just in her repertoire She was saying fart knocker is what she usually says and it just it just you she must have hit her toe Hey, we've all been there. I picked it up, you know, I Consused knocker in the end word all the time. My god. That lady's got great end words also Here's the thing is like how bad did you hit your toe broken toe? Yeah, it's like what I didn't understand about that clip Was why did she go like can we cut that and some guy was like no?

12:34So that's like absolutely not I hate you Yeah No, someone clearly just took that and released it. Yes. I think they're I think they're like live streaming or something like that I think they're like Instagram line. Where are they? I had to bet because why couldn't you cut that out? HGTV getting into live I think someone took the card and was like sick. Yeah, really you think that we were just talking about these Gen Zers. Yeah They're evil. Yeah, that's nice. They do they're nihilists. They're I think they are kind of nihilists. Yeah. Yeah, or I don't know A lot of them are like big-time grind heads though, so what's a grind it like grind like right? Yeah, right. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm against the next level Yeah, they and they don't care if they like die young I mean, you know, they're all fucking does the micro fracturing on their faces doing math and shit Well Austin is also like the it's like the capital of like the most boring 24 year old of all time like all those like get ready with me Here's my day is 24 year living in Austin and I'm like dude kill yourself Yeah, this is the worst life I've ever seen I've talked my younger cousin about that and he was like I was like is this what you and your friends do and he was like no none of us

13:36He's like none of us see that it is like a mind-fuck so I'm gonna try and figure out like what Gen Z does or who they are But because all the biggest people are like streaming all the time. Yeah, but I don't think that's a good fair reflection of like Who they are you mean? I'm telling you I think they're completely Checked out of like online stuff. Yeah, like I don't I don't think that I was just talking about like the rage bait of how like it's like if you get mad about something online I think they view you as like a boomer fucking moron. Yeah, we're like almost if you get mad at all It's kind of embarrassing. Yep. What was the sentiment? We just said if you don't say the end word you're gay Yeah, no, cuz they they'll just rip the end But it's like you know all the internet and again, maybe there's a streamers versus other guys But it does seem like Young white dudes can just rip the n-word on the internet. I mean clonicular is constantly ripping this stuff on stop Fuentes Yeah, you can't tell me that's not trickling down Completely. It's like an Xbox live economy It's just that's like now the culture. No, I say anything. So that's what I think I think it's like, you know, I'm

14:42You know, I didn't I didn't predict this happening, but I think I think white people are taking the word back I think they want me to the youth like let's put the power back into it actually The awesome jazzy. Well, it's got to be crazy cuz like you know, I know black dudes that go it's like Xbox live And like yeah, people yell the n-word and blah blah blah. Yeah But it's got to be kind of a mind-fuck to see like all these young white kids using it and like As far as the internet goes It's cool in the sense that it's working. Yeah, yeah I mean, we're being really honest the the n-word was gentrified by people Yeah, yeah, we're taking it back. All right, it's like you get your tea. You got it. I'm not exactly you get I'm not taking it back I feel gay like he's just said when I say the n-word like I'm like retelling something I feel like a teenager's gonna call me like a homo like like some just pop out of a bush bill you fucking gay Let's know say it earlier like I think if you're like 22 and you don't say the n-word your white You're kind of it's like you kind of get kind of yeah, yeah, which is funny. I mean, dude hell crazy

15:46They just I mean Well, they're all that's a fact no one can punch them in their room. That's true You know, but you know what happened? I think it started. There's a lot white there's a lot of white rappers that started just like rip it You know, Jin Lee. No, she was a Dallas rapper. He's a he's a giant red-headed man. Okay, long career. Oh, yes I've seen this guy. Yeah, and he's good. He was ripping the n-word. He's all now. Oh, okay Yeah, I mean, I've seen him like also like post videos like justifying saying it's just and but he's like he'll go and he'll fight like black teenagers in the mall Yeah, so he's okay, so he's about that life complete. He really hates them. No, he loves He's totally going to the ball to fight. I think he just roasts the ones he loves. Yeah But no, hold up people like if you have a problem come fight me, right? Yeah, just being in like, you know, near a smoothie, but who's fat as shit? He's fucking and he's like six foot three's huge ugly as hell Hey, man, he lives in Dallas. He can get me back. Come fight me, dude. Let's go to the mall. Let's do it. I love you Yeah, he's gonna get out of jail. He's gonna fight. Yeah, he might not he might as big crazy ass whiteboard. He probably is dude

16:51But he's good. He sounds like Big X the plug, right? Kind of similar. Yeah, kind of fat. I guess. I don't know He just outs fat I've never heard him ever heard Big X the plug. I'm like, he's probably fat. Oh, you'd love it. Is Big X the plug way too? No, no, no But there's that I think that's, you know, the internet is like because like you're right. You can safely Say it on the internet and like, you know, if you live around all white people's like no one's gonna meet you up really for you Maybe like, you know, you're lesbian cousin. They're also saying it with the A, right? Yes. So yeah, there's like people have a thing It's not the same at all to the true, you know like Like when Nick Fuentes says it. It's it's in a way of like I think he'd have a bigger problem He was saying with the hard R like every time. I think so. I he also claims that Kanye gave him the bass and yeah He's just saying it to which yeah Imagine that's your justification. Yeah, you're like no, the most crazy man of all time said I could say it so He's getting a shit together though. Yeah

17:52You apologize. Yeah, it takes a big man to apologize to all the world's Jews. It does it does I've never been in that position Matt I do it every single morning Wake up and I apologize to all the world's Jews get on Twitter. Sorry Jews That'd be nice to sit in with just like in-spo content every like what's good morning Jews. Let's get it You can put like pause really positive stuff like good morning Jews That's like the real life equivalent like putting more shields in your chest and like all of duty You see that every morning you're like all right. I'm good. I'm safe again Let's get it J gang who's called J gang J gang. Yeah This episode is brought to you by zip recruiter I always find it impressive when someone can Hmm, let me talk about a skill. I find impressive or profession. I appreciate For example, Olympic athletes in their dedication to training People can touch their nose with their tongues or someone who can speak multiple languages Well, those are good prompts, but I just love a good accountant guys

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19:55Guys, I'm saying number one based on G2. I'm going to make that leap of faith for a zip recruiter Number one hiring site based on G2 of course Let zip recruiter help you find amazing candidates with the skills you seek Four out of five employers who post on zip recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day And now you can try it for free at zip recruiter.com slash secret that's zip recruiter.com slash secret Meet your match on zip recruiter. I hope Kanye comes back. I don't know me Yes, he's coming back. Bully's coming out apparently Listen to Bully say yeah, I love Bully wait Bully was the album he put out that had like some AI songs on it But he put it out at the time when he was going completely insane She I didn't know what was real so yeah right right it Some of the songs are like kind of fake man It's just he's just and the funniest thing is that it's a really calm Like thought like it's it's a very like nothing's crazy on the album. It's really lovely Nice and then you look at his you know, he's on line saying like kill them all You're like this is so nice to listen to what this is insane

20:57Yeah, dude. Yeah, there's a musician. I like who John Martin He was like this guy like a British folk singer from the 70s And he would like he was you know, one of the first people who was doing the looper pedal So he would do these like beautiful ambient soundscapes And then I learned he had been like beating his wife the whole time. That's how I know So he would like have a vicious altercation with his wife Beat her and then go like out in like the other room and just rip like a beautiful kind of like yeah, yeah It helps you possess So yeah, you know the the yeah like the hating yourself for doing bad things like helps the artist and so maybe Maybe hating your wife is the key to success hating hating Both John Lennon used to fucking like beat beat women. He wrote a song about it. He was a jealous guy all about women are the end word of the world Yeah, that was him trying to help him He hated his wife so much because you're the end word of the world I'm gonna hit my wife ago. I'm trying to buy a house

21:58So yeah, oh wait, he was actually being mean He's trying to be the ultimate emancipator what a dick. Yeah, that was that was a wild movie pulled Yeah, yeah, I think women were like yeah Yeah, you know what I mean? I've had a hard time believing they wouldn't be like well. No, I think they love that Yeah, yeah, I mean women have been fighting for there's been that oppression Olympics for a while It is funny that they have been terms of like numb sheer numbers They've been completely shitted on for the long like if you go back into like history when you used to be able to fucking Yeah, rassolum and shit and then all they get is like Hillary Clinton Yeah, it sucks, dude. It's destroyed really success. It's tragic. Yeah, all Harris. They need to like their own ferocon. Yeah But that's cool. So when women get like two feminists like that some reason they lose their Unfortunately do that and we go shut up. Yeah, yeah, like I tried a million times They have tried it. Yeah, you know what? This is embarrassing of me to admit, but I recently I don't know why I got this idea where I was like dude. I think women in like you know

23:01heavily Muslim controlled areas are genuinely happier than women in the West Like Sharia law and stuff. Mm-hmm looked it up not the case. Not at all. I was like with crock like yeah But like what about he's like not even dude. They're not they're so sad. I love that like ignorant tape You meet a like a person from like a different culture. You're like oh, it must be peaceful And then you're like are you googling like oh, they hate yeah It's actually legal to gay they'll kill you. I was like maybe they're like, you know It's like as much as it sucks not being able to drive or leave your house and having to do all or have a clip Muslim women are like the clit is like the appendix. It's not really necessary It was a shameful thought, but I was like maybe there's a certain freedom in that that women actually and then I looked it off It's like no to pret and it's also like the reporting of depressions probably so low too, and it's still Right are they even allowed to get into that? Well that and that's why they asked them more like you know like they Instead of being like are you depressed as they're probably like no, so it's like well how did you ever feel like tired for days at a time? And they're like yeah I don't like do you ever like think about just like sleeping forever and then like hit him with all those questions

24:05When they collect a lot of data it was just coded killing yourself, you know, yeah, yeah, I was like our Muslim men happier And I don't think so. I don't think so. They're middle east. I don't know how to angry I think if you're like religious, you're just never happy Like if you're like fully like God will hate me if I do anything. Yeah, you can't be But imagine if you don't beat off for one day I mean I kind of lose my mind. Yeah, you'd be happy. I don't know lately. I've been able to go When I like do shows I every now and again, I'll go to a hotel sleep there not beat off and leave in the morning and I always feel like Feel good. Yeah, yeah, I didn't leave a fucking disgusting Tal for that lady to get That's why they're doing it. There's a big Muslim guys are just consider it The like the women have to clean up our jizz this you're not joking straight into the toilet. When I'm at a hotel Yeah, I do that at home You jerk right into the toilet like just get it out. Yeah, it's a late night sneak away for sure Ha Hotel I like I just whatever do you just pay the only yeah treat hotels like shit

25:09We were just we just turned everything on at ours. Do that's our favorite. We don't make sure to turn it on Get everything going Your tube you stay on you're my slave I own you But yeah, it's well, my bad, you're right, you're right, I'm at the BAFTAs right now, I'm in. So no, you were laying in the hotel room and think about how many people have came in the bed that you're in. Yeah. Yeah. It's that top cover you got to worry about, right? That they always tell you about, like, that's all you cause the one on the top, I think that's how you fall asleep. Oh, it's nice. Yeah, I, I don't know, I, I, I've always, you know, obviously people are doing stuff in there, but like, I got hit with the, like, genuine scale of it. I was like, dude, it's like every time someone hits one of these beds. Yeah. You're coming. Yeah. Me and my ex at, we like, she like demanded to like, leave a hotel in New York one time, because there was just like kind of obvious jizz stands on. Yeah.

26:10I think they're going to tell a totally different story where she like made you, she made me, I just thought over her, she got the bed wet. It was a, she's a pain dude, dude, come on. It is. There's too much jizz in this bed. You get a different room, you just jizz on. You know, there's not enough jizz on this bed, actually, you lay down nothing like crunches or you don't see like a pile of dust. Just why I come to, I kind of missed the days when I was like a kid and like, nothing came out. Yeah. It was easier. You got the whole feeling the orgasm happens. That's the best thing. Nothing came out. Yeah, man. It was great. No, the only downside of that is my uncle will be like, what the fuck, man, I thought. Trying to get my out of here. Trying to get Bukaki by my nephew. This is unbelievable. Yeah, he feels like, I always let down my whole stuff. My uncle hates to do that. When he was a lesbian, I didn't come. I remember. I've never been a lesbian. But I went to my, I went to

27:15Penn State one time, years and years ago. And I was like, my uncle was there with his kid. We're all hanging out and we go to the bar. I got hammered with my uncle. And I always like fuck around with him. But like any time there'd be like a woman there, I'd be like, you know, his uncle. I was just like, oh, great. He's like a handsome guy for his age. He always has been and every time like I would kind of like hype him up and be like, yeah, he's still lost. What the fuck, man? He was not out. I was crushed. Penn State has no history of molestation. It's certainly true. But I would just be like, I would just like build him up to a babe and he'd be like, fucking nice. And I would say something terrible. And they'd be like, oh, what the fuck? I mean, it's kind of the ultimate bit with you, with your boys. Yeah, he's a pedophile. I have a friend, Joey, that if we're in public at like a grocery store, I'm checking out he goes, just so you know, this guy's a registered secretary. Like every time I mean, doing doing that to your friend, just in a grocery store, be like, he's here to be a 13-year-old boy. He levels it up too. He'll go like, he's a convicted pedophile. He's a violent pedophile.

28:20He's a violent pedophile. How do you play it off? I just go, he's not sticking out. I look more like a pedophile. I look more like I look guilty. No, no, I'm not. No, I'm not. He is. I'm not. You can't fight it. You just got to laugh it off. If I were like, no, I'm like, kill myself. Try to hit like, you know, reverse like, you're a pedophile actually. You got to hit him with you wish, like he wishes. Did you wish I was a pedophile? Like you wish. In your dreams. Oh, man. That's a fun prank to play. Yeah, he plays a lot of pranks. They're not always fun. Heating the video, if you have the video, the best one is a video, like, you know, you have guys, the cameras, you surround someone in a Walmart and go like, oh, you hear the fucking. That is, I mean, that someone's got to do that prank. That's got to be so fun. They do. That's not even like, they don't even pose it as a prank video. They just get people in trouble. Oh, there's like, like, you know, these nihilist Gen Z kids, they just go to like Walmart and they'll just like point at somebody and be like, this guy and he's not just a random person. Yeah. That sucks, dude.

29:21The pedophile hunting is crazy. Part of me, like, I hate to be like, I'm like, you just, you want to beat up an autistic guy. That's all this is. Sometimes it is, sometimes I am like, I'm uncomfortable with how I feel like weirdly a little more empathy for the pedophile than the hunters. I'm like, let's stop pouring Tabasco in his eyes. And obviously, like, kill that guy. Oh, yeah. I don't want to see it. No, take him out back. Yeah. Do something. I mean, you know, well, it's like, you know, if you're, it's hunting, man, you're hunting games. Sometimes you catch your big deer. Sometimes you catch a little deer. Yeah, exactly. But when it turns into like an influencer thing, like, you're getting views off of it. It's, you know, it's gone down a little bit. But for a while, they're so insane how like a con and like tea pain. Exactly. All these guys are like celebs to go on. Dude, he was like part of the circuit. Yeah. It was like, you're promoting your album. Like, you know, hunt a pedophile. It's like tied all of a sign is like shaving Epstein's head. Part of Tabasco in his face. Those were so weird, though. It's like, I mean, because those guys are being hunted for real, right? So it's like, there's a pedophile who is in his head. He's like, dude, I'm about to get some little boy pussy. Yep. And then Acon shows up and goes, this is the best day of my life. Yeah.

30:27Holy shit. Acon's going to serenade me fucking a boy. And then he's like, oh, it's the worst day of my life actually. Yeah. He's like, he's like, he locked up. Can you sing locked up? Yeah. He, it sucks when they're clearly you're like, oh, this person is like, either severely autistic or like, yeah, has something. Yeah. Like, oh, dude, I kind of always are. Definitely stop the guy from molesting. Yeah, stop. I don't know. That should be you got to get him back. Just kill him. Sonic, bro. You just kill him. You think so? Yeah. Yeah. There's a comic. I mean, why not? Why kill those people? Yeah. You think so? Pedophiles? I mean, all for sure. But I say, if he was like, if you have severe developmental delays and all that stuff, and then like he caught me in a pedophile, and people like beat them up, I'm like, all right, dude, definitely. Yeah. Yeah. It's a it's a disability blow of the mission. It's kind of like the bad. There's going to be a pedophile of the bad. He's like, you know, that she was in you. I know what the fuck is in your soul. Yeah. You see the pedophile fight back? And they're kind of good. They got hands on it. There's

31:30a couple of videos where like, they beat up the pedophile. And pedophile is like, fucking square up right now. And they almost lose a fight to the pedophile. I'm like, dude, could you imagine getting your shit rocked by a pedophile? Off pedophile. We're going to spend a little pedophile. Goddamn. It's so low in pedophile. Definitely is not his first rodeo. Rambo first kid. It's not his first rodeo. He's trained. He's got it. Probably caught him slipping back in the day. Yeah. It's over again. Has someone for real almost lost the pedophile in the part? Yeah. Yeah. In like a convenience store, like a liquor store. Wal-Mart should have like a boxing ring for if someone finds a pedophile. They should. Yeah. Like Disney jail or something. Should be an old black guy. Come on. Put on the gloves. We're going to send this like men. Then you get in there and fucking. Also, at this point, you have to be as a pedophile. It's like, if a kid's asking you to meet at a fucking gas station, it's a trap. Are you not seeing these videos? Come on. I mean, your dick's never led you to a strange place. No. Never once. Not a

32:32gas station. I mean, like all the videos right at gas station are Wal-Mart. So if I was a pedophile, I'd be on my peeves and cues being like, I've seen the videos. Yeah. I mean, I'm not meeting you at a Wal-Mart. That's an obvious trap. Look at my ass kid. Yeah. It's funny though. Now they think about it. It's pretty, you know, like the bar lets out at 2 a.m. That's kind of like that's 3 p.m. Is the pedophile's 2 a.m. Trident. You know what I mean? I feel like a teacher pedophile. You're like fucked up with three o'clock and you're like still like, what a what do you do? You guys just going home after this? Sure. Well, I wouldn't keep the party going if you want. You guys want to do robotics class? The all new 2026 Toyota RAV4 is here, building on everything drivers know and love about Toyota. With a redesigned look and modern tech that makes life behind the wheel easier than ever, the new RAV4 comes standard as a hybrid, providing smooth efficient performance for both city streets and longer journeys. Enjoy the legendary reliability Toyota is known for in the all new 2026 RAV4. Learn and shop more at toyota.com. Toyota, let's go

33:34places. Kayak gets my flight hotel and rental car right so I can tune out travel advice that's just way wrong. Bro Skycoin, way better than points. Never fly during a Scorpio full moon. Just tell the manager you'll sue instant room upgrade. Stop taking bad travel advice. Start comparing hundreds of sites with Kayak and get your trip right. That advice. You talking to me. Kayak got that right. Well, that's the thing like we're kind of okay with is the women pedophiles. Like there's been like a revolution going on lately where it's like every week there's a decently attractive teacher that like fucked like a 15, 16 year old. Has it been happening still? Yeah. It happened like a week ago. Yeah. And she was hot. It happens all the time. Yeah. Well, now they're reading too much Dernarotica. Yeah. That's why they're fucking becoming and it's kind of like made TV. There's like shows about it. And it's like hot. The show's hot. Yeah. It's what the FX show called like the teacher or something like that with a Rooney Marrow or whatever. There was a new book that

34:38just came out about a it's from like a fuck what is it called? It's like Jeanette McCurry. I think she was a yeah. Yeah. She's a Disney half half half his age. It's about like a 17-year-old seducing her teacher. I read the whole book. Well, I was going to have her on. I'm on my third reread actually. I can't get enough of this book. I was going to have her on because I'm like, man, that's kind of wild. Yeah. Because you wrote the book. It was a senior. She could have been 18. Yeah. Sure. You know, then he would have been but it's just like, you know, so I was kind of curious, but I read it and it was it was like kind of I mean, it was like really fucked up. I can spoil if you guys want to hear the ending. I would go ahead. But it's like, so the story is there's this chick. She's 17. It's like white trash. Her mom's are kind of like never there. Her mom's always trying to find like the dude that's going to save her. Hot. Yeah. Sorry. It's already hot as hell, dude. So white trash is so hot for some reason. I don't know what it is. So she you know, and then she has this teacher, the creative writing teacher who like loves her writing

35:39and thinks she's like super smart. And then she just becomes a 17-year-old obsessed with like how he's just like, he has like a, you know, belly, he's receding hairline. And how she's like, I want to make this guy feel good. And like, I'm going to show this guy how to like, you know, like, oh, like a pity, like, I want to give him a great moment. I just love this guy. Yeah. Like, I want this guy. She's the nicest lady of all time. Yeah. So she just like sees this guy and he gives her like, you know, some positive attention. Like, I like your writing and I just, it's somehow just like trigger something in her where she's like, I am going to base this guy will be mine. And she like seduces him. And he carries out an affair with this lady and this girl. And eventually leaves his family for her. And then she just like, they're about to go on a flight together. And she's like, this guy sucks and just leaves. That's the whole book. That's the ending. That's the whole book. After, but they they have like, there's like a bunch of very gratuitous sex scenes written. It's pretty. Oh, okay. God. Yeah. That's kind of

36:43you just described most bleak book of all time. But yeah, it's pretty wild. I read it and I was just kind of like, fuck, that's a pretty wild. Like, what do I take from this? She realizes you like, you don't need a man to justify your resistance. Right. Right. So yeah, I'm not just my femininity. Yeah. And the mom goes to Romanics hall or, yeah, Romanaholics anonymous romantaholics. It's just like obsessed with flirting. Pretty much. Yeah. The fact that there's like a guy that's going to come save you. Yeah. It's going to be a romantic dude. I'm telling you that the the erotic of books aren't even so much about the like sex as it is like the two people finally colliding like what are the circumstances leading to that? Is it high class low class? Well, yeah, because if not, we just be little porn. Yeah. So it kind of is like porn comments put in a book. Yeah. Yeah. But it's it's more so about like the it's more about the situation around it than like just kind of like right. And then she sucked his dick. It's not that. It's like

37:44they're from two different families. They're not supposed to see each other. He's rich. She's poor. I mean, Juliet. He sees. Yeah. I like toucher and you die. Yeah. That's about a guy. I feel like someone touches a girl and guys like, oh, fucking kill you. Oh, yeah. Right. Right. So that's some saying they're getting charged up off of like a homicidal. Do you have that? I don't have at all. I'm not like protective over my wife in that way. Uh, like I don't like when she gets hit on I go cool. Oh, I'll get a little angry. I was a casino and a guy was like he was in a slot machine like this. And when she walked by, he did one of these. He almost fell. We'll get her ass anyway. Like I was like, put the fuck you down. It'll get me every now and again. He's like, I'm sorry. You can cross the line, but I was at a bar in New York with my wife. And I'm sitting at a bar stool and she's in between my legs. And I'm like kissing her neck, you know, full, love you, W. And this like black dude walks up. It looks like quavo from like me goes. Yeah. And he comes to me. He's like, Hey, Mama, you got a man or what? And I was like, I'm literally

38:46holding her. I'm kissing her. And she was like, yeah, this is my husband. Maybe how he goes, I bet. And he walked away. And I was like, can you believe that guy? And I was like, that's the coolest guy I've ever seen my entire life. I would have been furious. I was like, the confidence to like see what the situation was, be like, you got a man. That's fucking crazy. That shit fucking, it makes me so angry. Yeah. No, I was just shocked. I was like struck by it. Dude, I've almost done. I don't put myself in those positions. True. You're never with a woman in life. I'm an insale actually. Yeah, I don't know. Something about that really chaps my ass. I was, I don't think it's weird. I think it's a normal thing. No, no, I think I'm like, I know. Something about a man cucking me in public. Chaps my ass. I don't know what a man pretending I don't exist and trying to fuck my life. Some reason grinds my ears. Yeah. You're really weird, man. That's weird. You get more like him, dude. You get more like me, dude. Well, I'll deal. I mean, maybe I should zed out. I mean, it is the fact that I'm cortisol spiking like that in public is embarrassing. The cortisol spiking getting flame mug. These foids are getting to you. Yeah.

39:55No, I, well, the thing is, too, is like, you know, my wife's black. So every now and again, like younger black dudes will like try to like, what have me and Devin had the worst reaction to that? They go, what? We go, what? Well, they'll tell every now and again, they'll test me as like a thing or like to like, you know, sure. I'll completely 100% Irish spasm. I got the Irish spasm me for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Once he gets going, it's you can't stop it. It's really embarrassing, dude. No, I was like a thing with her like co-workers one time and like some like 20 year old popped off and I like fully was in his face. Like, I'll fucking kill you. And it's just like, dude, can you please chill? He's like, dude, I'm a virgin. Can you please leave me alone? I'll fuck you right now. I can kill you. Yeah, man, I have that. It's embarrassing. I'm gonna, you know, I like, I'd like to chill, but you seem so is that you seem so chill. I'm a standout, but if I lose it, it's called like it's like a flick of it. I'm kind of the same way. I'm pretty,

40:57I am pretty chill for the most part. I can kind of chill and be like, all right, what does this actually affect? Is this a deal? Yeah. Yeah. And every now and again, if I'm in the right mood, you push my buttons. I got to get hammered to have the confidence to just scream at somebody. Yeah. I could fight. That would be, yeah, I'd be nice. Drinking, I'm either like very friendly, but that is the thing. If I'm drunk enough and like someone, it can be like the littlest thing. I'm like, what the fuck? Yeah, exactly. There's some flip switches. It's kind of scary. All of a sudden, yeah, I think I'm strong when I can handle anything. Fighting words don't exist. I'll say anything to you. And I'm like, what do you? I'll sue you. Yeah. Him and I'll sue you. I've yelled that many times. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I go, go ahead. I'll sue you. You don't have a legal system. Could you imagine like actually falling through and suing somebody? It makes me laugh thinking about taking it that far. Yeah. Actually happened to my buddy one time. Really? We were at a bar in Pasadena and he like got like a booth like he paid for a booth with like bottles and all that stuff. And he kept inviting girls over. And they're like, we're the husband. I like that.

41:59He's like, you know, and then the girls are like, we're with our guys. We can't come in. He's like, fuck your guys and the guys got all pissed. And we're like, you know, die down the situation. We're like, all right, I won't show whatever blah blah blah. Me and my friend went to the bathroom. We came back. He's just getting stomped out the booth by all these guys. No. Like absolutely fucked up like eggs on his fucking head. Did he? Was it getting killed? Was it high ground? Yeah, it was like a table like a secret like a club type table. But what I'm saying was it up higher than like, yeah, it was like L that a little bit. He couldn't defend the position. Yeah, exactly. He had the high, he had the high ground. That's not crazy. Yeah. But I mean, you know, he's by himself literally siege warfare. We thought we thought we like, you know, killed the situation. It's all good. We come back from the bathroom. He's just getting fucking stomped out completely bleeding everywhere. Bruises all over the place. He welcome next morning. He sued the bar for like lack of security. Hey, he said, man. That's the thing. Did he really? Bro, I think he got like a hundred and fifty thousand dollars in his world. What? Lawsuits rule. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? I sued Postmates back in the day. Postmates for what? I just they they they banned me for stealing food. So I I've sued them.

43:02And I won like $24,000. What? Yeah, it was kind of crazy. I mean, I'm, you know, I'm exaggerating a little bit. But like, yeah, they'd like the app banned me. And then I, you know, you get like those mesotheli, you just sign like an email. Yeah, sure. I'm a part of a class action thing. And one day I just kept getting calls from some law office in Chicago. And I would be like, what is this? I kept ignoring it. And then finally they got ahold of me. And they were like, we think you could go to arbitration. And this is I was like, oh, this is like a real thing. Why am I? I guess I signed something that most people don't. Yeah. So I put myself in a situation where I'm like, yeah, sure. I'll actually like be a part of this. Why did you get fired again? Oh, you take it to get an order and then cancel the order and then eat a meal. I had like, I, you know, I had a genuine reason to find it. Yeah, but it's a, no one's working for them. Sure. So I'm like, fuck with my phones. You're delivering for them or ordering. Yes. Yeah. I did Uber. I would do them all at the same time. And like, and you would they would have an order and you would just beg, actually, I'm not going to take this. Yeah, sometimes, I mean,

44:04technically postmates, I didn't steal the food that often. Uber eats all the time. Uber eats constantly. I'd call Uber. I figured out that they didn't track your like car or your, or who you were. And it's just some like sad lady and like the Philippines picking up the phone. So I would, at the end of the night, at the end of the end of the, at the end of a long day of delivering food, because you get, if you cancel the order, you also get paid for the mileage, too. What? Like, like, well, we're sorry. I can't do it. And they're like, oh, it's okay. Your car's broken. Behind, just try to get back out there. But I, so, so at the end of every delivery shift, I would like work. You make like 60 bucks at working like nine hours. It's terrible. No one tips. Yeah, just delivering to like celebrities and a tip. I always tip. I always try. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. It's appreciate. Did you ever deliver food? I was a pizza guy for a while. Yeah. Yeah. So you have the empathy. I have the empathy. I tip the fuck out of them. Yeah. It's crazy. Why wouldn't you? Same. They're risking their lives to bring you the food. And you see the service charge. I think the service charge gets people being like, fuck them.

45:05I did as a pizza guy was the same thing. It would be like, there was a delivery fee. The restaurant would be like, yes, yes. And I would get my, my tip. So like, it was like my version of like giving myself a little nice end to like a long day. Yeah. So I would pick up. I'd wait for a huge order like a gigantic, I'd like feed my friends. And so I'd go pick it up. And then I'd get in my car and drive a little bit away from the restaurant that I'd call and be like, my car broke down. It was kind of fun. I got to like pretend like to act and stuff too. I'm like, I don't know. It's my car. You know, the engine is smoking. Yeah. I'm dead. And they go, it's okay. Just try to get back out there. And then they cancel it. I get paid for like, you know, an 11 mile drive. And then I get to keep all the food. I did this like, I'm not kidding. Once a night for like seven months straight. I felt bad initially the first time I ever did it. And then I found out that like the restaurant, they still get paid. Like it's, it comes out of the like Uber. Yeah. It's like it's not like like the people have to remake it, but they didn't like, they don't lose their money. It do eventually gets his meal. Just a little later. Exactly. Yeah.

46:08And then yeah, that's kind of sweet actually. Yeah, it was, I mean, I, I'm not like super proud of it, but sorry to interrupt the podcast guys, but this episode is brought to you by PricePix. Shoot your shot on PricePix and get $50 instantly in lineups when you play your first $5. That's right. PricePix is now giving you $50 in lineups when you sign up and play your first $5. PricePix makes every dunk, every dime, and every board that much more exciting. So don't miss this chance to get started on America's number one app for sports picks. It's got me thinking about discussing specific players that I've seen play really well with my audience right now. And if I had to guess or think of one guy who I think's really got it in terms of basketball, I don't know if you guys ever heard of this guy's names LeBron James. I think he has been, he's just been spectacular out there. And I'm really admiring what he's doing. And if I, you know, if I was on PricePix, if I was on the number one app for sports picks, I might say,

47:09maybe I can win big on this LeBron filler. PricePix is simple to play, just pick more or less on two to six player staff projections. If you get your picks right, you could cash in. Pick from all your favorite sports, anything from basketball, baseball, hockey, UFC, soccer, college basketball, tennis, golf, esports, and more, if you can believe that, get in on the action. PricePix is now available on in all 50 states, including California, Texas, Florida, and Georgia. Download the PricePix app today and use code drenched to get $50 in line-ups after you play your first $5 line-up. That's code drenched to get $50 in line-ups after you play your first $5 line-up. PricePix, it's good to be right. Hey, real quick while I have you guys, I have some shows coming up and, well, we have some good news and bad news. The good, well, depends on. For me, the good news is I'll be in Cleveland in Pittsburgh this weekend, March 6, Cleveland, March 7, Pittsburgh, and I'm not front. I think both shows are going to sell out. So,

48:12if you want to come, here's your CTA, your call to action. If you want to come to those shows and clips, you want to come to those shows, almost call it Clitzburg. That's crazy. Cleveland, Ohio, or Pittsburgh, for Indian slip. Yeah, just come. You can get my tickets. I think there's a link in this video to get them pretty sick. Also, after that, I'll be in St. Louis, Missouri, Indianapolis, St. Paul, Missouri, I guess that's M.O. Missouri, Des Moines, Iowa, Phoenix. Here's the big one, guys. All of them are selling pretty well. God damn that Phoenix celebrity theater is, it's not till April 17th. So, we have some time, but that shows in the round and actually enjoy performing in the round. So, if you want to see my butt for like good 10-second stretches while I do my thing and you know, turn around and I'll show you my bulge at the celebrity theaters. Well, it'll be button bulge all night. Is the celebrity theater just an angry little micro bulge? I'll wear some joggers that night. So, everyone gets their money's worth. They can all go,

49:14look at that. It's barely sticking out. Guys, I'll be in Tucson, Arizona. Toronto's a big one. Two shows, again, not bragging, nature of the beast. Two shows both have sold out in Toronto. I'm thinking about adding a third. So, Canadians, I know I've said a lot of bad things about your country. I was just fucking kidding around. I love you guys. You guys love me more than all these bastards in fucking Phoenix, Arizona apparently. So, come on out to the shows and then Chicago, of course, I'll be at the Riviera theater. Probably going to add a second show there, hopefully, because that thing don't sold out May 26. So, whatever. Hopefully that makes sense to you guys. Go to mapmacustard.com. And yeah, come to a show, man. We're having a good time. Also, I'll be doing Algonauts in Austin, Texas. That's once a month I do that where we're me and Tim butterly take people's cell phones, project their algorithm through Instagram usually on the screen, and you know, try to get a picture of like, who is this person? What are they? What is the algorithm being sent to them? Or what is being sent to them through the algorithm? What does that say about them? What doesn't it say about them? Because you can't just judge someone on their algorithm. Or maybe

50:16you can. I don't know. Come out to that. That's at the Creek and Cave. So, if you go to Creek and Cave, ATX, you can get that. And last. And I don't remember the saying last and cool enough guys I'm tired. Last and most importantly, noble bomb. I'll be in Philadelphia in March 16th. I'm going to I'm just visiting family figured I'd strut my stuff on the old flagship stage that is helium Philadelphia. I'm going to get some of my friends and we're all going to try new-ish material stuff or working on. It'll be fun. Come out. It'll be St. Paddy's Day weekend. You can get drunk if that's what you feel you must do. And if you're trying really hard not to be drunk, well, try to hold out. Come to the show. Be sober. You know, be fun. Learn how to be fun while sober or get fucking hammered on St. Paddy's Day. It's really up to you. All these shum weighing out choices. That's all I'm doing. I'm not trying to coerce you. I'm not trying to manipulate you.

51:18I'm just giving you choices. Do whatever you want. Love you guys. Back to the show. Part in the interruption. Part in the interruption. This is Sean Gardini. I just wanted to let you guys know that I'll be in Salt Lake City, Utah at Wise Guys Comedy Club. March 27th and 28th with Nate Marshall. So please come see that show if you'd like. And I'll be at the comment in Cincinnati. Not comment ping pong. Just the comment in Cincinnati on May 22nd and 23rd. So please come to those, that was a little joke there. But I'd like, I'd really like to see you guys at the show. So please come if you can. Tickets are at Sean Gardini.com. And we also have an off the moon. Noctis at the Creek in the Cave in Austin, Texas. Me, Nate Marshall and Lamarley every first and third Tuesday of the month. So thank you very much for your time. Part in the interruption. Enjoy the rest of the show. No, I worked for in Salt. Do you guys have

52:18insomnia cookies? Yeah. Well, I know. Not in LA. I worked for insomnia cookies when I was in college. I had this idea that like, I was like, dude, I could totally stay up all night one day. A week can be fine. So I was like, I'll work during the day, go to school, and then I'll stay up all night and deliver insomnia cookies and just ride it into like Tuesday. I was like, you don't have to sleep every night. If I had you, it's like the worst version of hustle culture I've ever heard. I was like, if I just do one all night or a week, I'll do an app. I'll be fine. Totally. And I didn't insomnia cookies. And, you know, so I would go in there. And I wanted to do my bike. And they're like, we have enough bike delivery people. You have a car. I'm like, yeah, I have a car. So I get this big order, put it in my car. I like, pull up to the place, pop my tire on like, and Philly has a lot of these like metal lining to the curbs. I don't know why they do it. It's all the way a curve and they'll put like a coping on it. And I just pop my tires. One of them was sticking out. It's like, fuck, so I'm like sitting there with a pop tire.

53:19I call insomnia being like, you know, my tires popped and they're pretty much like, yes, figure it out. I was like, fuck, so I'm like, okay, no support whatsoever. And then, you know, it was one of those cars that had like the hub cap key where you needed to get like a certain thing from inside, even take the tire. And it was just like, oh, stressed out. It was a very stressful night. And yeah, luckily this old black guy came up. I was like, what the hell are you doing? And he was like, you saw, and he goes, oh, that's a mercury. I had a soft top mercury cougar. Okay. And it was like old black dudes. Yeah, two down the car. So they were like, bro, you need the hub cap. So this old guy came up. You knew exactly what I needed. Pause and like, he's walking over you zip and down his page. So like, oh, what you doing, man? I know what you need. Hey, dude, you completely dad bogged me. And he like knew he got the, he like, you need a, you need a security key to show me. He took it out. And he like, you know, pause again. He fixed the tire. So he fixed the tire. So, you know, my black daddy came fixed the tire. And then, so I go back to insomnia a bit of a chip on my shoulder now. And they're like,

54:23and they're like, oh, you ready for more deliveries? And I was like, that's all you guys care about, huh? I hadn't slept. I just slept all night. So I'm all sensitive. I guess I'm going to fucking care about me. Do you? There's nothing worse than like working at a job and people care about the job. Yeah, you're higher up. I mean, I worked at Abercrombie and Fitch. Did you? Come on. Was that shirtless or was that Hollister? They asked me to do shirtless. And I said, I can't do it because it's like a hundred bucks a day. I was like, that's not the price. Yeah. That's crazy. To be shirtless in a mall. That's fucking me. I didn't know him in high school. We stopped hanging out with a guy when you got a job at Abercrombie and Fitch. Really? I mean, we're kidding. But we were kind of like, we really like... I don't mean to rely on him for doing that. Yeah, yeah. I got recruited. Genuinely. By three different Abercrombies, I'm walking like a community college campus. People are like, do you want a job? And I was like, no, I'm good. And then the third time I was like, all right, I'll take the fucking job. Really? Constantly happening. You're like, thank you, Mr. Wexler. I'll be glad. But dude, yeah, I worked there for I think three weeks, workshop of all time. It's like four

55:26hour shifts. It feels like it's 10 hours. Yeah. They pump the perfume through the vents. You're like nauseous, headache. Retail is the one job I've never worked at. Anytime it's here in the same song over and over again, stacking pants. People work retail. I'm like, why are you doing this? Work anywhere else. Yeah, people get addicted. There's some people I know just do retail. Yeah, clothing stores. A lot of younger women do it because they can get the discount and they can get their clothes. Yeah, but yeah, it always seemed like super fucking miserable. Well, do yes. I'm working there. And like, I also got like class action like chicks from these people all the time because they were just fully illegal. You know, like, so I like, I get the job. They make me buy an outfit. Like you have to dress head to toe in Abercrombie. They make you buy it. So I had to spend like $140 an outfit. It's not. It was like 20% off. What? It's an expensive store. And I was like, fucking 19, you know, so I remember like I went the manager was like this like really like gay guy, you know, and I go and I put my shirt on where large I like bagged your clothes and he goes, it's not small enough. And I was like, for real? And he goes, yeah, tighter. Put a meeting mount

56:31and he goes, not tight enough. What? And I was like, what? This is crazy. You're like, you're raping right now. It's crazy. I go put a small and do my arms like cutting circulation off. He's like perfect. And then they make me like pose for photos for like the employee catalog. I have no fucking clue what's going on. But I'm truly in a shirt that's like killing me and pants that are killing me. And then I just had such a weird vibe from that that I was like, I can't do this job. I'm not putting my two weeks in. I was like, I'm out of here, you know? Yeah. And then that manager came out to me fine. You can wear a medium. No, for real. For real, dude, it's the worst thing I've ever heard of my life. He heard that I put my two weeks in. He comes up and he goes, so I heard you too good for the fish. Wow. Dude, I went, dude, I quit now and I left. I just left the store too good for the fish. I was like, you're the worst person I've ever met, dude. So I heard you too good for the fish. This is like a guy who's like a career manager of Abercrombie. He's probably the regional. Do he move from Salt Lake City to Glendale,

57:33California to like manage this Abercrombie fish? That is the thing with retail. It sucks. But if you become like a, you know, regional or whatever director, you kind of had like a cake walk throughout your life. You just get drive around and check on stores and you get paid like a hundred something. Yeah. Sure. Sure. I mean, I know people that like make a really good living just like they work their way up and like in and out. Yeah. Yeah. I knew I know dude did a target like years ago. He was just like the regional VP or something. He's like, I just drive to stores and I'm like, man, that looks good. Yeah. I don't think I've ever had a good job. No, like never once. Dog walking was sick, but I think the boss. The money's not good though. Yeah. I've never like once had a job. I'm like, I could do this. Yeah. We're going to weed farm for a while. It was kind of fun. That's kind of chill. You can just smoke weed and trim and chill. You know, I paint it with my friend. That was nice. We painted houses. Yeah. That was actually pretty actually like kind of like that. I got paid, you know, decently. Oh, dude, I forgot to tell you. So the, I just completely forgot the, which I'm going to call it, what's it called? Insomnia, cookies or whatever. So then when I pulled back up and then I could tell they didn't

58:37care. I went in like, can you take another order? I was the same thing. I was like, I'll take an order. I was like, I'm taking this right home and eating it, but like, yeah, I'm taking them like. So I take it order and I'm like, I'm going to go get these in my roommates when I eat cookies. And then I like forgot my jacket. And they were like, oh, dude, can you take another order? And like a bunch of milks and they hand me like a fucking massive cookie order with a bunch of milk. And I was just like, definitely taking this all home. So I went home to my, I just left. And I was like, I had a woman back and I was like, sitting there eating cookies in my roommates. And then I had the phone numbers for the orders on the little slip. Yeah. So I started calling them and being like, you know, I'm outside. Where are you? And they're like, what? I don't see you. And I'm like, oh, come outside, man. So I had this guy walking around looking for cookies. I was like 19. And I called him and I was like, you know, I was like, oh, dude, I had to spin the block. There was a bunch of like really shady guys standing outside. And he was like, where? I'm like, I don't know. Dude, I think I was like a gang outside. You got to watch out for those guys, man. The restaurant steal my cookies. And he was like, oh, I don't think just keep coming down. Like, wave your, are you wave your arm so I can see

59:40so the guy was outside. I had him doing all these like weird like cal settings. You're like, I think the bloods are an ambler pencil. It was it was University of Penn. Got you. I was like, dude, there was these guys out there. I was like a gang, bro. What the hell? He was just like, I don't see anybody out here. I'm like, I'll be back. I gotta spin the block. Dude, for my own safety, I'm not making this delivery, dude. Yeah. Can't do it, dude. I might die. Then I called the headquarters of insomnia as one of the other deliveries that never got ordered. And I called him, hey, my order never came here. And they were like, well, you know, well, like making all these things. And like, as they were like, hey, we'll figure it out. I was like, I probably should need him. I'm so fucking fat anyway. And they were started being like, oh, come on, man, don't say that. I'm like, no, I'm fucking I'm fat. He's a shit. I just shouldn't even have. I don't it. Probably the weirdest shit that guy's ever had. I mean, like, I think I have to talk to he's gonna kill himself. I don't know. This store finally called me like an hour later. Like, are you okay? Yeah. I'm chilling. They're like, okay. They just hung up. Yeah. That was the end of

1:00:41that. I used to deliver whippets to a drug addict. Yeah. Cause I don't even understand. You can go to a smoke shop and just buy like whippets. Yeah. And there's Alex somehow, like it's like, I guess the the law like is like, oh, no, people also just love whipped cream and stock or something. I don't know. But yeah, and this guy tipped very well. He would literally answer the door like a breaking bad mess head like in a row. And like grab this big package of like, yeah, whippets I would get him from like a smoke shop for like Uber. It was just it was a legal to pair. So apparently if you do whippets all the time like that, your body just stops producing vitamin B12. Like it like fucks you up. That's what puts holes in your brain, dude. Like your brain has like weird spots. Maybe I don't know. Probably the biohacking whip it addict. You got to supplement with the whippets. Well, there's a there was a lady who went like paralyzed. Like she were like legs stopped working because I think it's something to do with your body not producing like certain things and like it shuts off. Dude, that and jive or fuck with 70H. No, that is.

1:01:4270H is a it's funny because I brought it up one time because I just like found out what it was. And I like brought it up on a podcast and never finished talking about it. So people are like, dude, whatever you do, please don't do it. It's like 70H is cratum. That's been like process and refined almost like, you know, there's like perker sets and then oxy cotton or it's like the same ingredient, but you just make it super strong. So 70H is a shit. They sell gas stations. That's like stronger than morphine. Yeah, but you can just go buy it at a gas station. So like people go there. So you're there, you know, you're at the gas station. You're like, yeah, let me get a, you know, let me get some zins. And those guys, some of the guys would be like, oh man, try to 70H and people are like, what's it like? It's like it's very chill. There's dudes that start doing it and they become literally, they got to go on like fucking like methadone to get off of the crazy. It's like the smoke shops were selling spice for a while. It was like the fake weed and people were having like seizures and should I talk to people who do like a lot of drugs and like meth heroin. They're like, dude, K2 is fucked up. Yeah, it's just, you know,

1:02:44same thing. And it's like, yeah, it's a big jail drug. People do, they would do K2 and jail because it's a ketamine. No, it's a spice. It's a spice guy. Yeah, synthetic weed. Call it juice. Yeah. It's like crushy like, yeah, you're smoking juice and like my friend who's done literally every single drug you can imagine is like, bro, I'm fucking K2's fucked up. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I can't smoke weed. You should try spice once. You think I should? I'll lose my fucking eye, dude. You could smoke like ounces of weed. Yeah. And they would have, they had like they would go on probation. They would smoke spice and they're like, bro, that was fucked up. He smokes weed. He turns into like the county 2012 guy who just starts jacking off. It fucks you up. Dude, it fucks me up in a crazy way. Last time I smoked weed, I was probably like 24. And my friends from California, I was living in New York. They sent me like a weed pen. I ripped it twice. I was up to five AM crying because I couldn't remember like Alan Rickman's name. I'm like in bed with my wife. I'm like, who's just fucking name. She's like, who am I in

1:03:46Harry Potter? And she's like Daniel Rackle. I'm like, you bitch. No. I made her go in like IMDB and she goes, Alan Rickman, I go, yeah. God, I love weed. Dude, truly. And then like, I'm like that same night. I was like such a cliche. I was like watching family guy to comfort me. I was like, I need something like comfortable to watch. Yeah. I would laugh at a senior family guy and then start crying because I forgot what I laughed at. Oh, no. Weed does something to me that's it's unbelievable what it does to me. I get awesome. I don't have to mention what I smoke weed. And I'm scared, you know. There is something scary about that though, because I just smoke weed constantly and like having like the coolest thought ever that's going to change your life. Yeah. Two seconds later going, wait, what was that? Right. Yeah. Forget it. What the fuck is going, yeah, you do get like it. So I do that and then cry like a baby. Yeah. I'm like way too emotional. It fractures me. I just so high that I forget what room I'm in. So I'd be like so

1:04:48high and I'd be in the bathroom like peeing and I'd finish peeing and just be sitting there like I'd probably be like, we're in line. Oh, fuck, man. I used to smoke so much weed that I'd get like panic attacks from them and like, but I knew how to handle them. And I'd let me like, all right, I'm going to go put my feet up, get some blood to my head. And then the next day, be like, that's good. I was not thinking about like that's kind of a crazy experience to have had. I would also on dates when I was younger, I would go I would get secretly so high from edibles and go on dates. Yeah. So like I'd be like a movie date is like chill with my wife now. I went to the movies one time and like, you know, middle of the day and I was like panicking from an edible. I went in the bathroom and I'd be like mid date like staring at myself in the mirror being like, dude, you can alter your reality right now. You don't have to be afraid. It's all in your head. Now get back in there and enjoy weathering hikes. I have to for your wife and your family, you have to enjoy it. Like you like you have Marvel movie. Yeah, I go back in and be like, I think I just hacked my fucking brain.

1:05:51I'll never be afraid. I think I'm Iron Man actually. We're immortal. I just found out we're immortal. Yeah, I don't, I rarely, I'll like, I'm like such a baby with it. We're all like, it's like a little bit. It changed my brain over time. Yeah, I just smoked it so much that as I got older, I was like, I, why am I doing this to myself? I'm like nervous and uncomfortable in public now. It used to be like the total opposite. No, I know. Yeah, it just fucks me up now. Yeah, I'm just not drug at all. I've never done cocaine. Me either. Yeah, never will. I don't understand the point. Never will ever have. I did Molly for the first time with Devon. That's new years. Yeah, Molly's chill, I think. I lost my mind. Yeah, at a party to be tough, but I feel like, where's it at party? It was an Airbnb in Joshua Tree. It was sick. It was actually great. I think the high, it was me holding each other. We became one. I'm caressing his back. No, Molly with the bros is nice though. It was me and all my high school bros and Devon and everyone's drinking too, though. So you're not really getting the full tolerance. The kicking on Molly does,

1:06:52it's actually just kind of embarrassing because I've only ever, well, this isn't the embarrassing part of thing, but I've only ever taken it with my wife. We go to a hotel room and take it. We just like chill. That was the best part, though. That's chill. Yeah, that was great. Yeah, that was great. It kicks in. I need her to like hold me because it like it hits me so hard. Do you shake? Yeah. The first time I ever did it like earthquake, like the whole world started shaking and it came on and I like, you ever seen like butterfly effect? Yeah. You know, when he like transitions to a new timeline, that's how Molly hits me. Yeah. The whole world's doing this and I was like, holy fuck, this is the most scared I've ever been. Yeah. The high was school. The come down was the worst I've ever felt my entire life. So, yeah, I, the come down for me is not bad. I never problem with it. I learned if you just have, if you just smoke a little bit of weed or like a vape pen during the come down, but like you got it, my brother was like, just sip it from the vape pen to have a little bit. That actually did help. Last time I did it was like, the come down was kind of nothing. I went out, I ate a huge meal. Same, same. I felt like really happy actually for about a week after I first

1:07:54did it. Yeah. If I if I if I filled with the come down with weed, I wouldn't be here today. I think it would actually kill me. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the come down can be, I can see it being kind of uncomfortable. Dude, I feel like I was going down a roller coaster for three days straight. Really? All right. That like body anxiety, like my stomachs and my throats. Really? Three days straight. I think my baseline is so low and depressive that like the Molly wear off and it's like, all right. I still feel like he hates when I discount that it's the Molly that gave him this feeling. We were like binge drinking for days on end. There's like nothing worse than alcohol. Like, it makes me I have like visions when I'm hungover. I do it on the same way. If I drink heavily, if I especially if I like tackle like two days together, I'm like anxious and depressed for like three days straight. Yeah. I mean, it didn't help for sure, but I've been hungover a million times of nervous. I'm hungover right now. So, you know, I don't say I feel all right, you know. Okay, that's fair. But now I think maybe the Molly by itself, if you ever try it completely by

1:08:55self, I don't think it's that it's pretty chill actually. Yeah, the first time I ever did it, I had like two tall cans. I was like his socks and then my friend had given me a bag of Molly because I was very depressed about Kobe dying. And he was like, you got to get out you got to get out of this funk man. That's, it was, I mean, he's a great guy. I love you, Mark. That's so funny. Yeah. Yeah. And we were all going to do like, it was very, we were all going to do like mushrooms and then it just kind of fell through and I was just kind of like, man, fuck, I wanted to like, it was in the pandemic. You're all stuck inside. So I just kept like dipping into this bag of Molly throughout the night and then it all hit at once and everything shook and it was like crazy. And I vomited and then I went into the bathtub and just like kept feeling like the tub and shit. And then I just stayed up all night watching Kobe highlights and just going like this. Like in front of the TV. It was amazing. It was like a mate. Everyone else hated me because they had the I kept vomiting and making their lives horrible. But I had a great time. No, it was great, man. My best night was there. Where's night? It's awesome. Yeah. So funny all night.

1:09:58My friend came up. He came upstairs. This check on me and I was just like doing this in front of the TV. Cartoon. Cartoon. Like a simscare. Yes. I went to bed grinning. Like I remember falling asleep. It was amazing. I mean, I've seen you watch Kobe highlight sober. It's the happiest of ever. Yeah, I love it. Love it. Love it. Kobe freak over here. That's awesome. Yeah. That's awesome. My cousin played against the mamba in summer league for real. And my car and like a really, yeah, he was a really good basketball player and he played in summer league and I remember him being like, dude, there's this guy's from Italy. And he's like, he's like, and my cousin was really good. And he was just like, bro, like this guy's a freak. He's definitely going to the NBA. That's a good thing. That's the greatest. I met you know, Pedro. Yeah. When I started doing comedy with Pedro, Pedro said he went to lower marion. And I was like, can I shake your hand? It was the coolest thing ever today. My dad went to lower marion. Yeah. Yeah. That's a snap. That's great. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty sick. I mean, guys, I think we did it. We're at an hour and I have to go now,

1:11:00pick up my kid. Okay. And we're going to have a date. Sick. Little date. Little date with the kid. I mean, they look like two kids. Yeah. And the one's going to gymnastics. So every now and again, when one of them's busy, I get to do like 101. What are we going to do? We are going to what's funny? She already, she picked out her outfit. She wants to wear. She's going to wear. There's like an outfit she got. This is the cutest thing I've ever heard. It's very sweet. Yeah. And then we got to go to the thinkery, which is like a kids museum. Okay. They're playing there and probably got to like, like, early dinner and take her to the mothership. Top it up. It needs these. So we're going to go, I get to go pick her up at two, three, what time is we're now? Oh, perfect. Two, thirty. So that's great. So I don't know why I said I should have kids. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry. What's your fucking problem? I don't know. I know you're happier than me. It's fine. Thank you. Thank you, guys. Thank you, man. Do you have anything you guys want to. Yeah. Hey, watch podcasts. Hey, watch podcasts on that. And lemon party. We were banned. There's a, there's a, there's a much more powerful

1:12:03Jeff out there than Epstein, I believe. Check out lemon party. It's fine. It was just somebody kept reporting us. Okay. Hey, you guys want to get it back on YouTube? Are you? You hit up people. No one gives you a response. True. We got some emails from like our ad people. No one responded to us. Okay. I don't know. But we'll figure it out. It's fine. Yeah. Hell yeah. Hey, watch podcast. Yeah. See you guys. Bye. Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane secret podcast on Spotify. Do it.