EP 3674 Your perspective determines everything

0:00Hey guys welcome to today's podcast. Today's episode your perspective determines everything. I was talking to someone yesterday about the situation in their life. There's somebody who's been through some divorce and some tough things and they're looking at different stuff in their life and they're trying to look at what they're gonna do and what we have in conversation I was talking to them saying I was a woman just saying you know like what do you what do you want for this or that and the question they're asking me is how do you actually make a fresh start? How do you make you know how do you start moving forward in your life doing new things? How do you get yourself to a point where you are happy to incapable of creating new things for yourself and as we were having this conversation I just said to them look I think there's one critical part of it that's just so important and that's what you believe as possible for yourself. I said if you are in your life stuck in you know a difficult situation where obviously you've been divorced and things are hard for this person and instead

1:00if you're looking with no concept or no perspective or no belief that things can be different then it's going to be extremely difficult for those to be different of course and I said that's one of the key things that I think most people don't understand and the thing that we avoid and ignore because we're afraid of it is the thing that probably holds the best lessons or the best insights into that situation for us and then when I went on to explain it to her it made sense to her what I said was like look for instance we're talking about potential new romantic relationship or partnership for her and she was she's not into the idea at all but was she's not something it's a priority I'm not sure what I want and as we delve deeper into it I said well is that because you don't believe you can have you can actually have something amazing she is yeah probably and I said yeah I said well you know what determines that and as you went through all the conversation good to you know the point of it and I said well the issue is I guess when you don't believe it's possible then it's

2:04not possible and I said when you when you have a part of your life that is blocked off like that where you're like well you know if I met someone great then I'd be happy to be in a relationship but you know how's that gonna happen that doesn't really happen you know thing people aren't really that amazing they weren't the words this person was using it all but they're sort of the stuff that I hear people say and then get to the point of going so essentially what you're saying is that you don't believe you can have what you want but you're happy to get it if you if it comes along and I said that sort of perspective perspective or perception just means it's almost impossible that you'll get that because in a reference sport I said you know if you're a basketball player for instance and you as you know get fouled and you're standing at the three-point line and you're about to shoot and in your mind the monkey brain's going you'll never get the shot you'll never hit the shot you'll know good at these shots you'll shoot at these shots I said what's the likelihood you're gonna hit that shot cheers you not high and I said this is

3:05exactly the same situation because essentially what you're saying is I don't think great relationships exist I don't think I deserve when the relationship really my thing I've never really had much luck in them or whatever your version of those statements would be and I said so then it would be so difficult to have that thing when you don't even really believe that thing exists and I said that's just one example and that works for people with relationships it works for people with money it works for people with absolutely freaking everything in their life when we don't believe that the thing we truly want is possible then we shut down the want for it and we shut down the one out of fear and that fear is normally shut down because of a lack of good perspective or perception or anything if you don't think it's possible to get a particular thing then how can you possibly want that thing so if I don't think I could ever be a singer then I'm never gonna try and sing if I don't think I can ever be really fit then I'm never going to the gym if I

4:06don't believe I could be wealthy that I'm never gonna believe you know I'm never gonna work hard to do the things that will create a lot of wealth in my life so much of the perspective and perception and self-belief is just what that's everything in our life is based around that and any of the results we get or don't get 100% influence by that and I would say huge majority are determined by that not just inflows because it is going against all of human nature to try and do a thing that you don't believe you can do and when you actually believe you can't do it then obviously it's almost impossible and that is what I talk about when I talk about perspective or perception it's actually the ability to look at something in your life and go I wonder if that's possible for me it's this you know the Strong Life Project the business itself I was like I never thought that this could happen I was like I never thought of it but something that was so weird to me but I was like what I'm willing to give

5:06it a crack so I just kept trying and I kept doing the things I do like I still am now and as I keep moving forward and doing different things it seems to be working so what that allows me to do is actually be to place my life of going I didn't know if it could happen but I kept training my belief that I could make it successful and I could get to where I wanted to be with it and as a result that's where I've got to so there's a big difference between not knowing if it can happen and not believing it can happen so I didn't know it could happen because I had no proof but I believed I could do it and I just believed it because I was like well if I just keep pushing and I don't quit and I just keep working I had enough eventually it will work out however that works out may not have been the way I wanted to got to be something totally different to what I actually considered or perceived to be the thing I wanted could have been any one of a number of things like that where it ended up being totally different to what it turned out to be however I do absolutely believe

6:06that if I didn't have a good belief in myself and a good belief in what I was doing and I didn't actually think I was capable of helping people and impacting them then there wouldn't have been any chance there would be zero chance of me having succeeded and got this business to do what it's doing because if I just didn't believe it was even possible then how is it possible and as stupid a statement as that is I think that's the basics of it because I think and we are all capable of amazing shit if we're willing to put our mind to it and believe it's possible and that I guess is one of the foundational things about life so now when I look at my life I go when I go to do Jiu Jitsu I'm like I don't know if I can be good at Jiu Jitsu but I believe I can because everybody else it doesn't seem to be great so it's just a matter of consistency and effort at the time and I'll get there I look at similar things whether it's you know my relationship with my daughters one of my daughters I'm super close to the

7:08other one who I'm not in contact with and I go well I just believe that if I just stay consistent keep doing the things I do then my oldest daughter and I will reconnect and have a beautiful relationship now there's no evidence of that the evidence is the country but what's happened up until now is what evidence is based on potential in your future it's not evidence just because something's happened up until now in your life it doesn't mean that it has to happen again in the future because there's one determinant factor that most people seem to miss and you can change things you can make different decisions you can put in different effort so when you are willing to look at your life and go well I know I can change it then the question is am I willing to and if you're willing to change it you're willing to put in the effort you're willing to do whatever the things are to build a better life then of course you can have a better life and I just think there's many people who get stuck in this idea that life is how it is and that's it I've had one bad relationship that means you know relationships are bad now if you've been in a marriage or in a relationship

8:11and someone cheated on you and it's been really tough then of course you think relationships are if you've had a failed business and went back up then you probably think you know you've got a business if whatever the things are in your life that you have failed at in your verdict comments will set you your belief and your belief will probably be that life's hard and you won't get what you want but my challenge to you is that is just all historical evidence of something that's happened if you're in a relationship and go cheated on and you look back and you go I absolutely knew that was going to happen I knew it wasn't the right thing I trust my gut you know I didn't trust my gut blah blah then if you go into your next relationship it's trusting you gut feeling and knowing what's going on and looking for the red flags and making sure that you're not ignoring things you know blind to things because of fear of being alone or whatever is the situation then guess what you probably won't get cheated really. We tend to recreate the same circumstances in a life because we have the same perspective and perception we make the same decisions and therefore we end up with the same result and we see that as evidence that our life can't be how we want it it's just not true your

9:11perspective and your perception on everything is so fucking critical in your life what you believe as possible is possible and if you believe nothing is then you're going to be miserable. Talk to you tomorrow. I hope you enjoyed this episode always remember if you want the result you have to do the work. If you want to know more about how I can help you and my story go to that StronglifeProject.com