EP 3673 Time heals and scars make us stronger

0:00Hey guys welcome to these podcasts today's episode. Time heals and scars make us stronger. Now that's not a scientific statement but time heals is definitely true and the difficulties and challenges in your life that create the scars for you do definitely make you stronger. Mentally emotionally physiologically all of those things spiritually whatever it might be and when I look at my life now I look back and go the things that just seem so insurmountable at the time. The whole PTSD depression thing the kids like to stuff my daughters and family court stuff you know ending of relationships all sorts of things at the time just felt so painful and so difficult. And then in hindsight the pain of those things dissipated reasonably rapidly and I'm the scars that were created and the better way to put it would be the muscle that's built the mental emotional muscle because you think as you I've just literally left the gym after doing squats and stuff this morning and leg day not my

1:04favorite day but as I'm driving home my legs are sore I did it last week last Monday and I did that could not walk properly until fucking Saturday because I really do legs but I've started doing this hybrid like a high rocks type crossfit class at the gym because I need some other program shit that I don't want to do like a scots I would do bench press and bicep curls all day everyday because I'm not an idiot but it's the same thing as my legs hurt like shit and I know the next couple of days I'll struggle walk downstairs but I go I know that's actually building muscle and becoming better for me with longevity in life and health and all sorts of things and the difficulty and challenge that comes from the things that are really hard for you the time heals that pain and then the scars that you build make you stronger and a better way to put it would be emotional muscle but that was a shit title time heals and emotional muscle makes you stronger just doesn't sound good so in

2:06the scars make you stronger it's because of that challenge it's that resilience you start to build things that you go well I know I can get through this thing because I've been through this other thing I know that this will not be the end of me because there's so much more life for me to live and add so many other things in front of me I wake up this morning it's Easter Monday and I got up I slept didn't get up till about 7 30 or something which is rare for me I got like 9 hour sleep got up went to the gym did someone a nice bath afterwards this went to the supermarket now I'm driving home I'm gonna do a bit of work I'll go back to the gym myself and do some more recovery stuff I'm like holy shit my life's fucking amazing but equally on my beautiful daughter there's been a way for a few days she comes home this afternoon if I'll see her and there's a shoot load of people that I could no spoken to a number of people hung out with some friends of mine over for Saturday night them and their kids came down Jolent Gordney was awesome but equally you know there's people I could ring and go and hang out with if I wanted to but I'm like I'm just happy to chill this weekend but I could also have the opinion in my life to

3:09go oh you know I don't see my daughters I didn't see them for Easter it's so hard this sucks it's been like this for 10 years nothing's fair da da da da whatever but I'm like so the perspective and perception of it so important but to me the time heals just shows me how much my life has improved and changed over the last period of time whatever period that is and that period of time has become so crucial and critical for me to be at this point of my life be happy healthy peaceful have great people around me like life's pretty fucking amazing actually and so much great opportunity so many amazing things coming in the future and work in a whole lot of different shit and I'm like wow like there's so much great potential so many amazing things that can happen and all I need to do is have that faith and belief and tap into the emotional muscle those scars that I've built understand that time heals any challenge or difficulty that comes up so you just got to keep

4:09going and be persistent and you will get there and it will be awesome and life will be amazing and you will be happy and etc etc and I absolutely believe that because that has happened in my life time and time and time again my life just improves when I put the work and the effort and the belief and I just don't let you know life drag me down so when you understand when you look back go back 10 years to something think of something was it a relationship breakdown a job you lost was it something else that happened a death of a love one something we like oh my god I'll never get over this this is the worst thing ever and they look back and go oh you're cool that yeah that I remember that being hard but I can't remember what it felt like because it doesn't feel hard anymore because you've dealt with it and you've got over it so the actual time has healed the wound and the scar that has formed over that wound in this analogy makes you stronger and better and gives you more resilience so you're more able to deal with those challenges and difficulties in the future and you go oh yeah I've been down this road before and now how it works that is just such a freaking amazing experience an opportunity to live a

5:15better version as I look around in my life the moment I'm like wow it's actually really cool it's really very peaceful I'm very happy there's no major stress or drama in my life it's actually like the biggest challenge for me the moment is going shit I've never had life that was this peaceful and then knowing what to do with that which is nothing which is also not how I normally I pray but all of that stuff just becomes more beneficial and beautiful and amazing for me the more that I have that attitude and that perspective and I'm just not someone who these days looks for what's wrong I look for what's working I look for things that are good I look for the stuff that I'm happy about and I find plenty of it whereas if I want to look for what is terrible I'm sure I could find that too but when you know that whatever the challenges you're in right now time will heal it the saddest I felt when my mum passed away a couple months ago is no in near as intense now as it was then and I'm sure that will

6:17continue to dissipate as time goes on a lot of that was because I've had the conversations I wanted to have and all those things for sure but that is part of just understanding that time heals the intensity and the challenge and the difficulty if you are five or ten years past a significant event that's still really impact you massively then you've got to ask yourself what work have you been doing to deal with that if you listen the podcast much lately I've talked about the family therapist I went and saw and different things but a huge difference to me help me understand my mum and our relationship so much better so the pain and the challenge of it's not as intense I was hanging out with Joel and Courtney on the weekend his little boy Ollie died coming up to two years ago and you know we're having a conversation about heaps of stuff the other sons are there and they're happy things are good and they have tough days for sure but they keep doing the work to be happy and time has started to heal that wound or definitely has healed that wound from the you know intensity where it started and that to me is the best

7:20example of probably what would have to be the hardest thing I don't know I couldn't think of anything worse than losing a child but you're losing your child and then being able to deal with that pain and difficulty and challenging that build that resilience and their phenomenal humans the way they've done that and they're in their early 30s like they're young it's just so impressive but they both understand the time heals and that that's scars give them strength so as I look around in my life the people that I find impressive and inspirational they're the people who have understood challenge and difficulty who've been through really horrible things but I've come out the other side as better people because of it and then there's another group of people who go through things that even aren't that difficult and they want to use them as an excuse for being a should-person or an excuse for why their life sucks and those people I just cannot resonate with because I go we are absolutely in charge of what happens if you went through

8:22tough tough stuff 10 years ago and it's still stopping you being the best version of you now that you can be in a relationship or career or wherever then that's a choice you're making you're making a choice to stay distracted and you're making a choice to focus on what doesn't work for you rather than what does and that's hard like it's so hard I'm not saying any of this is easy but time heals and scars give you strength but when you avoid the challenge and difficulty and you try to just stay in this really vanilla bubble of your life with is not too much challenge or difficulty and you just keep doing the same groundhog day day in day out your life will eventually suck that's not a question that's not an opinion that's absolute fact so time heals and scars give you strength so don't be afraid to do hard things talk to you tomorrow I hope you enjoyed this episode always remember if you want the

9:26results you have to do the work if you want to know more about how I can help you and my story go to that stronglifeproject.com