Ep 115: When Alcohol Is the Backdrop

What happens when we question alcohol’s role as the backdrop to almost every social moment? In this powerful episode, Anna Donaghey is joined by Ry Gavan from DRiNKLiNK, a Scotland-based charity supporting families affected by someone else’s drinking, for an honest conversation about the ripple effects of alcohol in our lives.

Rather than focusing solely on “extremes,” Anna Donaghey and Ry explore why alcohol’s real power lies in its expectation: its presence at celebrations, commiserations, sport, family gatherings, and so much more. They explore the underlying fear of social disruption when someone opts out, the tension between belonging and authenticity, and the surprising reality that our imagined social fallout rarely materialises.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone curious about the social script around drinking, the underestimated impact of alcohol, and what actually changes (for the better) when you step outside the expectation.

Here are the Highlights:

00:00 Intro: Exploring alcohol as the expected backdrop

01:04 The tension of opting out

02:08 Ry’s story

05:24 Social rituals, identity, and the anxiety of changing your “role”

09:50 Alcohol is woven into Scottish life, sports, family, and celebrations

11:28 Grey area drinking, and challenging the “boring” label

14:43 Underestimating the real disruption of drinking

15:15 Alcohol’s impact on deaths, hospitalisations, and NHS strain

18:34 How one change can influence others in the group

19:26 Belonging anxiety, why standing out feels risky, but rarely is

22:36 Moving beyond thinking alcohol as the “glue” of social connection

29:53 Confidence and learning to love who you are

33:53 Underestimating the real impact of drinking

35:26 DRiNKLiNK’s work and impact

40:07 Alcohol and social inequalities

42:28 Testing your assumptions and finding new evidence

44:43 Gamifying sobriety, progress, joy, and positive change

46:15 How to connect with DRiNKLiNK and share your story.

Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!

Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/

The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/

If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey

Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink

Produced by winteraudio.co.uk

About Ry Gavan:

Ry Gavan works with DRiNKLiNK, a Scotland-based charity supporting people affected by someone else’s drinking.

He’s passionate about destigmatising sobriety and challenging the expectation that alcohol is required for connection.

His work focuses on the ripple effects drinking has on families and communities and what changes when we begin to see clearly without it.

Connect with Ry:

Website: https://drinklink.org/