Dr. Dan & Humanity’s Red Flags CONDENSED

0:00My name's Mackenzie, and I started to go fund me for the adoptive mother of a nonverbal autistic child. The mother had lost her job because she wasn't able to find out what care for this autistic child. So she really needed some help with living expenses, paying some back bills. So I launched a GoFundMe to help support them during this crisis. And we raised about $10,000 within just a couple of months. I think that the surprising thing was by telling a clear story and just like really being very clear about what we needed, we have some really generous donations from people who are really moved by the situation that this family was struggling with. GoFundMe is the world's number one fundraising platform trusted by over 200 million people. Start your GoFundMe today at GoFundMe.com. That's GoFundMe.com, GoFundMe.com. This podcast is supported by GoFundMe.

1:01The sun shining, birds are singing and all feels right in the world. Until the season changes and suddenly you lose your motivation to get out of bed. In fact, one in five people experience some form of depression no matter the season or time of year. At the American Psychiatric Association Foundation, our vision is to build a mentally healthy nation for all because we want you to live your best life and be your best you all year round. Please visit mentallyhealthynation.org to learn more. When your old career gives you lemons, throwing some ice, mixing some vodka, we call it a podcast. From the Mac of all trades studio in Fairport and driven by Victor Chrysler Dodge Jeep Ram, it's billified, the Bill Moran podcast. Well, hello and welcome. Thanks for getting your pot on. Thanks for telling a friend. That's how we spread the word about the pirate ship. Look who's here.

2:02Oh, handsome and ready to go. This microphone smells like deviled eggs. Now, why don't the cameras switch? Probably, I can't even. I can't even. How do you think this camera's on? Yes, it is. It's on. I don't see the light. It's on. Okay. I'm looking at you. I just can't get it to change anything. Hold it. Wait. Now you're up. Wait. Now what happened now? I got you superimposed. Hang on. Let me. For like a green screen. No. As you can see right here. We have some interpretation. Oh, I see what's happening. I see what's happening. I see what's happening. I see what's happening. I see what's happening. I see what's happening. I see what's happening. I did something wrong now. Did you? Yeah. Story in my life. Don't worry. I did something. There we go. There we go. I have it on auto. So this is weird. And I don't like it. But I have. What do I have like horns or something? No, I had. I was letting the cameras change on their own sort of automatically.

3:07Okay. And it would go back and forth to us. But at some points, it's like it's fading out of me and fading into you. We look like like the son of the moon. Michael Jackson. Some black or white video. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, I'll just ignore that. And we'll see. I'm going to let it go. I like. I like. I'll let the. The supervising producer yell at me about all that stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Here we have one of those now. Live from New York. I got a message. And I love when we get messages from our listeners. Dear Bill. This one is. It's from a long time billified listener dog. We've only been around like four years. So that's that's quite a long time. Yeah. He's a long time listener. This is our senior year, Billy. Yeah. This is for sure. You're right. That's right. A question for. And he has a question for what I am calling Dr. Dan. All right. That would be you. Dear Dan. Dr. Dan. Hey, Bill. Doctor said I should add fiber to my diet.

4:08Way ahead of you. Good. I remember Dan Barillo saying to buy the Wegman's fiber pills. But I can't remember if he said buy the red or the blue. He was adamant on one or the other. It was neither. It wasn't fiber. It wasn't fiber pills. It was the top care. Green. Green. Yeah. And white. Over the orange. Yes. Yeah. It was the bottle. And it was it was the fiber powder. Not the pills. Fiber powder. I don't know what it scores like a hundred or almost a hundred on the Yuka test. You don't want to buy the metamusel and you don't want to buy the orange. You want to buy the green. I've tested them all, baby. And if you can't afford that, get some flax seed and grind that up. That'll work too. Okay. I add both to mine. Okay. Wait. Flax seed and. Yeah. You must shit rope. Bro. You got it. Seriously. You could pull ships with that thing. Dude, they call them road apples. Instead of not telling you. You can't get into horses, leave the piles. Yes.

5:09I look in. You were looking and go, man. Yeah, that was me. Well, first of all, I love that Dan Barillo has become the fiber expert of western New York. Everybody's got, it's like, it's a dirt digler once said, Billy, everyone's blessed with one special thing. And he's got apparently his fiber. Okay. But here's the thing. Somewhere, right here, the Greater Rochester area, some guy, attended the U of R. I went to their medical school for 12 years to be a gastroenterologist. But it's Dan is like, no, no, no, no. If you're going to take the fiber, you get the green capped fiber from top care. Yes. Yes. Two scoops. And that, when I, after I read this, I keep thinking, I go, that's something that's very, very human about us. It's when somebody speaks with confidence, we buy a hook line and say, come on, man. It's so funny. You bring them. Oh. So today I found on Twitter or X.

6:09Yeah. John Ratsonberger. Yes. His story about how he tried out for cheers. He was trying to be somebody else on cheer. Well, he was, he was auditioning for Norm. Yes. Yes. They didn't know they were going to have another role on the show. Right. It was really just going to be Sam, coach, Diane, and Norm. Those were the four. Norm was going to be the bar fly, obviously. And his only lie was going to be bear. Yeah. That was it. Yeah. And apparently Cliff, I'm sorry, John Ratsonberger didn't pass the audition. So he's going to fly back to England. And they didn't like the read. It didn't go well. So they kind of pulled a curveball on him. So he's walking out of the room and he was, hey. Do you guys have a role for a bar and know it all? They go, what do you mean? Well, I'm from New England. My father owned a bar and every bar in New England has a bar and know it all. And they would defer to this guy, whether he knew what he was talking about or not, because he spoke with such authority. Yes. And so John Ratsonberger, they go, okay, well, let's create a role.

7:11And Cliff Klaven was born. He auditioned for it. He had a fake Boston accent. That wasn't how he really talks. Okay. Because he was more of a serious actor. He was also, I think, in Space Balls and stuff, too. But he was like, he was like classically trained and stuff. And the character Cliff Klaven was born because he just happened to turn around on his way out the door and go, hey, if it's in a England-based bar, if it's a Boston bar, you got to have a bar, know it all. And he played that guy. And that's why I saw that. I thought to myself, I am the billified Cliff Klaven. Whether I know it or not, whether it's true or not, I speak with such authority that it has to be true. It does. It's like, somebody mentions one tiny detail with confidence. And suddenly, it becomes gospel. And so, you know, whether it's the red pills, the blue pills, the fiber pills, the can of fiber, the jar fiber, the red orange, whatever, you say it, and that's it. And if someone says something confidently enough, we buy into that shit.

8:11And I almost think that with the internet, that is some of the problem. Don't you? Yes. I do. And here's the best part. Like, I have actually, since the advent of AI have gone back and researched, and then re-researched through other AIs, if some of this stuff that's being pushed by influencers is true. And some of it isn't. Some of it isn't. And even the AI will tell you, even we're not foolproof. You have to go and check us with others as well. Okay. So, even Grocks like, yeah, well, here's the plat, the pratfalls. If you don't use us for legal advice, don't use us for financial advice. Why they got to cover their basins, right? Don't use us for medical advice. But for everything else, sure, why not? And so, I've kind of run this stuff. And like, Gary Breck is a famous guy who likes to promote healthy stuff. Yeah. And he goes, hey, you're going to dehydrate yourself if you drink too much water. You got to put salt. And this one guy who's a doctor, a kidney doctor goes, I'm a kidney doctor.

9:12I've drank water my entire life like most humans. I've never put salt in it. I've never been dehydrated. So, I don't know what you're talking about. Okay. So, you got to like kind of take everything they don't pun intended. A great salt and do some homework on it. But fiber is always good for you. Yeah. Well, okay. I'm starting to, when would you take fiber? What time of day? And here's why I ask. Because I happen to be somewhere like St. John Fischer's. And I don't want to be blown up the bathroom. Right. You know, because sometimes it's fiber. You grow a tail, bro. Especially because I eat figs every day. And that helps as well. I typically, now that you mention it, I would take the fiber maybe at night. Really? So that in the morning, you could take care of it all. It's because like here's what I do. I don't eat until noon every day. Yeah. So, I'm, like, kind of an interminently fasting now for like five, six years. Just because it's become old hat.

10:13Okay. It really doesn't work as far as weight loss goes. It works more for like autophagy and anti-aging properties. And even that's a little suspect. But I'm just accustomed to it. But I don't like fibers considered calories. So, I eat it with my first meal, which is typically lunch around noon. And then around two or three o'clock. When will your laxatives start working? So it might be better just to take it with dinner or at night or when you write it like about an hour or two before you go to bed Okay, you think that's the better time. It could be I'm sorry. I'm trying to mess with the camera Yeah, you know, Sammy. I take my fire, you know, what do I feel? All right now we're there Don't not doing stuff. I kid we got to run that by our executive producer We need more equipment. I I'm like in the turn. I'm gonna turn the cameras away from me because now It's just changing camera positions from one to the other, but I thought I turned off the automatic camera shit This is annoying anyway. It's like those 1990s wedding videos. They like they dissolve it to each other's face. Yes, yes, that's exactly what we've got

11:31There are certain little behaviors as I got this thing and I thought of you when I thought of you as the The ex the Western New York fiber expert that you are The Toyota tundra and Tacoma are built to keep going blending rugged muscle with precision engineering all supported by Toyota's time tested legacy of dependability step into a tundra and feel the unyielding capability with the available I force max engine tundra puts out impressive power torque and towing performance and the roomy high-tech cabin keeps you connected on the go or Take a look at Tacoma made for drivers who push past the path agile tough and relentless with available features like crawl control A portable JBL speaker a power lift gate so gear goes in fast and the adventure keeps moving the Tacoma and tundra are Engineered to endure season after season mile after mile so drive one home today visit toyota.com or stop by your local Toyota dealer to find out more Toyota Let's go places. Place and you're gonna talk about all that stuff. I started thinking about just like There are certain little behaviors in life that kind of immediately

12:37Make you think that may be someone I want to avoid You know, I mean you pause is that somebody I want to be radio. They were the callers. Well Now Because everybody talks about Relationship red flags we hear that all the time right yes tells well I'm I'm I started thinking and noticing things that I go these are human red flags The red flags of people that I That's a watch your face Because see so what are in your opinion Dan? What would be the red flags that make you cautious Around someone in every day life because I've got a list that when I started this list It would just keep coming to me and I made a list But just think of off the top of your head What are the red flags that make you cautious around someone in every day life Like they come back from lunch smelling like alcohol. Okay. I'm a little okay. I'm a little leery

13:42I mean that not not not just once But regularly yeah If you're a co if they're a coworker or if they smell like weed in the middle of the day If you want to do that stuff fine, but if you got to do it every day around lunch and then give the guts to come back to work Okay, now if you're in radio that's different, but if you're doing a real job I'm a little I'm a little cautious of your life choices. Okay. I think certain people who Um That's just one um, I'll give you one that I say people who have to constantly talk about themselves. Yeah Yeah, sure. Okay. I have I have a couple cool. Okay The car dashboard museum When I see someone in a parking lot that their dashboard is just All kinds of charge keys. Mm-hmm. There. That is a person That I don't even want to be on the roadway

14:44What about the jeep people with the ducks? Okay. Is that an exception? Not because I don't have a thing I go the duck is Q one or two you have so many fucking ducks Dude, I've seen people with an entire dashboard like looking like Rich stadium. Yeah, of of of of of of ducts. If your dashboard Looks like the clearance aisle of hobby lobby. No All your fucking ducks. I don't care. Oh, trust me. It's that hobby lobby. It's more like Ollie's Okay, I'm worried. I don't think I'm worried. I'm worried if that's you Because when the sun hits your windshield and all of a sudden your dashboard is sparkling like a finger-like slot machine That's a casino or in trouble. You know what I yeah, like I those are people honestly God or you ever see somebody they've got the dream catcher the rosary breeds the crystals The air fresher the air fresh a little Buddha The cars got six religions and no fucking seatbelts. No, that's like I go. Okay. That's somebody

15:46I don't want to be around that's someone I don't want to be on the road with that to me is a human red flag or if the tires and The rims cost more than the car. Yes human red flag. Yes, human red flag But human red flag Because you know what would be the male equivalent because I am blaming mostly women for the the dashboard museum And it's usually older women That probably have a bunch of cats at home You gotta go out and get the cat food What would be the male equivalent of that like bumper? Oh gosh, yeah bumper nuts is a big one or the Calvin peeing on somebody's Calvin peeing on anything Ford Chevy Calvin peeing on Calvin. I gotta be honest like maybe it makes me less of a dude I don't fucking know, but I would never want Calvin pissing on anything Yeah, unless it was I can't even say anything that identifies you like you're going out on a limb with a bumper sticker right any bumper sticker I love the red wings, but I don't but I would never put a go wings on the back of my car

16:50I worked at cmf with you for six seven years. I would never put a cmf bumper sticker on the back of my car Yeah, I never did you okay, right? There are people who have like even Jesus bumper stickers Hang on a second. I'll be sorry. No, I can't do that. I I now here's here's my dilemma with that There's a big push to get some billified merchant merchandise Okay, so there's been a lot of talk lately of hats and things like that. So once I think I get the shirt This says cancel survivor That's ours Uh If I want to get one for Kevin that says I beat anorexia that's illify But if like I so there's hats being looked at and others and there's people and we got to get you on this email Thing it's only been one or two one person. Okay, Sammy. I'll be honest. Yeah, well. I'd like your opinion Yeah, I appreciate the fact that you like my opinions since I'm like a Mason of this show. Yes, I like your opinion

17:51But I go How weird I don't know that I could wear a bill if I had it feels too self-serving I didn't even like wearing CMF stuff when I work to see. Yeah, I didn't see here's how I was right. Yeah If I didn't get the shirt or the hat I'd feel like left out like Like I wasn't important enough to get the shirt of the head like you and Tommy would get it Cano would get it cano get like seven One for every day of the week rabbit's in the head his own custom made CMF shirt. Yeah Right, but like I'm like What I don't get one and then I get one of like All right, who wants it? I didn't wear it. I don't want to wear this. I gave away all my radio stuff. Yeah, all of it. I gave it away. You did? Oh, yeah I have a drawer full somewhere and I know people who would actually pay for that stuff No, I should probably frame it and put it in here. Mm-hmm honestly or wherever we end up before you could get a tattoo like brother Wee's that worked here in here. No, I don't I don't want any tattoos. No Another one. I guess I have to go back human red flags. Another one human red flag

18:54Well the selfie industrial complex. Oh dude, huh dudes with selfies are a big big okay big red flag Okay, let's brought this up because there's another subject I want to talk about but go ahead if I look If every post is your face You are your own religion Wow, this is not yourself. You're not social media. You are a digital shrine to yourself 100% there was a woman that I dated. I think she still lives in Rochester and She invited me over to dinner. I didn't know she had a kid Which is fine. I walk in her little boy her son should see a little boy He was like a teenager answer the phone or answer the door. Yeah, I'm like. Oh, hi. I'm here for someone so. Oh, yeah She's over here and I walk in the house and Every picture in the house was not of her son not of her mother not of her no her Her every picture in the house on the mantle on the wall It was like a like her if her Facebook. I'm sorry if her house could be a Facebook page. Yeah, or an Instagram page

19:58It was of her face everywhere. I'm like yeah run this chick is not worth the aggravation No, because if you're post five selfies a day And No, but that that's not confidence. That's holding your self esteem hostage. Yes, that is that's ridiculous It's absolutely itself the most the craziest thing I'm trying. Oh, I'm able to change the cameras again I got control back Control me control the end of my life I need more control my life Ever look at your wall and think hmm That whole definitely wasn't there yesterday Or maybe your faucet's got a drip that's slowly driving you into madness That's when you got to call my buddies at Mac of all trades because it's your home And if you don't have the skills to fix it yourself Go to the people who do and trust me. There's nobody better than Mac of all trades They do everything leaky faucet they got it drafty windows and doors done electrical plumbing carpentry sure

21:06Full kitchen or bathroom model. Oh, yeah, they'll do that too from patching the hole that someone made by definitely not Slamming the door to transforming your entire space Mac of all trades gets it done quickly and the right way Stop putting up with cold drafts and half finished to do list give them a call at 585 202 90 218 or find them online at Mac of all trades.net get started on that to do list today Mac of all trades no job too small What do we need to know or what do we need to believe that something happened? And I bring this up because as we mentioned Bam at a bio Bam at a bio scored 83 points the other night now what happens in basketball oh that was Somebody posted about that. Yes, if that was what you were gonna. Yes, that's what I was talking about. Oh, that was another one Yeah, yeah, okay And it sounds insane right 83 points especially in today's league But the wizards aren't that good they were not playing great defense

22:09He had 30 something by the end of the first paying for John wall. Yeah, the right and the first quarter. It was terrible But then everybody's bringing up like he he surpassed Kobe who had 81 And by the way, I think in that game Kobe went to the foul line the least out of the top three guys in scoring. So he wasn't being fouled a lot And then you go to it was his last game Oh was it was Kobe's last game. Okay, well, he went there. He actually like missed a few shots to start the game Yeah, like when he finally calmed down. Yeah, I turned the game off like okay. This could be a Kobe thought I didn't realize he was gonna score 80 something points That was a historic game. Yeah, this was his last game. We were like laying off Kobe Well, like magic Johnson's last all-star game. This is interesting because got it. It's give it to him. You've got You look oh my god, you look at The Wilts Chamberlain game hundred points in 1962 He's the biggest guy on the court in Hershey, Pennsylvania, but but playing the next

23:12but There's no footage and the only thing they still have is like the fourth quarter called on radio Oh, is that it but I thought you meant like the picture he's holding up. That's all they got one hundred is a picture And there are people who go this is bullshit. It didn't happen There are people who say that they go. There's no way Matter of fact Yeah, my kid came into me and goes there's no way That he did that he goes because he goes and let me tell you something Larry bird What a fucking owned him and I'm like do you realize how big Wilts Chamberlain was all will need to do was get inside There was no three point play or three point shot there And they tried fouling all these games become unethical. They just do because now the whole thing is how do we stop this The only way to stop it is to foul the guy and hope he doesn't make foul shots Well will was making the foul shots. Yes, so then they start fouling the other players on the team And the same thing with at a bio of the other night he somehow he got like they just started fouling

24:14He could have probably gotten to a hundred There's so many needs to just let it go at some point Unfortunately, you're going to be in the record book is the team that let well the weird thing is that out of bio is not known as a score. No, he's not so I'll bet you like on Fandall most there might be an investigation in the year like All right, Pam's gonna go off man some get your bets in now, right? Because there's a little whispers, but I don't think that'll be the case. No, he's not a score I'm sure most people bet the under on Fandall last night whoever bet the over was like oh, man Wow, right, but but let's keep it with sports for a second when we say what what do we need to believe pre 1990s A lot of sports history Kind of sounds like folklore In a way, I mean It's like your uncle at the holidays After a six pack you know, I'm saying he starts to argue about the hey, you know you back in my day. Yes Uh, I don't Graham could throw a ball Mickey Mantles legendary home runs. We've got a couple We've got a couple preserved five hundred twenty five feet. Yeah, but was it I don't know we don't know

25:21Uh, Babe Ruth calling it a shot I don't even know is there footage of that in Chicago. There is footage of him pointing but pointing But do we know if it's only my own friend says he doesn't think that that really happened that became a legend Yeah, I want to believe the legend. I want to believe he calls this is what I'm saying. It becomes folk lore That that's the thing and we like that But what do we need to believe because now we live in a world where even when there is footage We still don't believe it. No, we don't believe it. I thought you were a type of Wiltshire Merlin's 20,000 women I mean, what's more believe about that or a hundred points that he's got in the game You know, I'm saying you got to have faith Billy. I'll tell you this. I'll tell you this There is there is something about athletes that are of a certain They're just they're cut of a certain chip right they just are these guys and Wiltshire Merlin was known to be a part of Like I think before that game had partied hard the night. He would drive from New York City the Hershey And he was in New York City and I the 20,000 sounds

26:24Astronomical it's 2.3 per day. Yeah, I got it. I got it. They've done the math thought but it it I mean it could be I I would actually find that and I know this sounds strange. I find that more believable than the hundred point Yes, there's more defense and bad women aren't putting up any defense You and I are old enough to remember a gentleman by the name of David Wells Yeah, who supposedly yeah Had quite a night out. Yeah, the night before he threw a perfect game dude. I'm telling you where I only 24 of those have been thrown in Majorly baseball district and I believe that because I think that there's a thing that happens to some of these guys And I have a little bit not like this, but like Michael Jordan will go out and play two 18 whole rounds and then come in and fucking blow you off the court Lawrence Taylor most people would be exhausted Lawrence Taylor would be out partying Snorting cocaine. Do you hear this story?

27:25I don't know. He had like four sex in a game or something after he went out all night in New York. Yeah He shows up at 6 a.m. It fills Sim's house on a Sunday of a game Chris Sims at six years old answers the door Mr. Taylor. Yeah, as you've got the home Yeah, I ain't he feel like I got about your golf shoes. I know we have the same size. This guy's going to let me play his course in the morning Goes yeah, okay, he bottles his golf shoes. He goes in place 18 shows up at the stadium at like 11 o'clock And ends up having a huge day. Yeah, like didn't go to bed. No, there's just something that happens with these guys It's an adrenaline. Yeah, I don't know what it is. I think Jordan had it I think I wouldn't be surprised if everybody of that level to some degree has it there may be you know a few Guys who don't but I don't know But back to the believer in our belief now great. Do we believe those stories? I'm saying here Yes, and I bet you we could find a doctor ago Fucking impossible Keith Richards says he would stay up for days and he's 80 something years old

28:26There are stories about Rick Flair that would make you think he would have died Yeah in a sport where they average nine wrestlers a year dying in their prime And somehow, what do you think that is uh, well, it's like playing a football game Seven days a week twice on Saturday twice on Sunday and doing it 300 days a year. Okay Okay, like foot like Lawrence Taylor. You want to talk about Lawrence Taylor actually russled at Russell Mania And said it was harder than any football game he'd ever played now That's the contact I mean he played professional football at the highest level right one of the greatest probably the greatest defensive player of all time And he said that was harder than any football game he ever played now you're Rick Flair and you're doing what they call broadways Meaning you're on you're in the ring not five to ten minutes like the WWE We're talking like 30 to 60 minute matches right and then he would drink five beers and do 12 shots He wasn't in the drugs, but he drank yeah, and he would still get up He'd fly halfway across the world go to Japan and Russell and fly back

29:27And it's yet like it's like are these stories true? They asked the Russians. Oh, yeah Oh, yeah, we don't know how he's still alive. Well, what's the one on the uh on across uh country flight Who was the Dodgers uh In a home running drink case of you earlier. Oh, it's Wade Box. Yeah, we supposedly drank 60 beers or something on a cross country cross country flight Yeah, I could see it. I mean, I can see that for sure But we we literally just as an example we literally have footage Of Neil Armstrong First man on the moon the first guy to walk on the moon there is moon dust and they put um The Footprints there and we're not there are people who absolutely Unequivocally will never believe that Never believe that we did that. Oh, yeah, and there's even stories were president Clinton said he was having a meeting and the republicans and the democrats weren't getting along on this certain thing and he goes And then the NASA was there that day was can I have this moon rock?

30:27They go you got to give it back to us mr. President goes. I'm mr. President Clinton. I'll get you moon rock back He brings the moon rock into the role when he goes hey look this moon This is a piece of the moon the moon's gonna be here. We're all just passing through. Yeah, like this is the actual part of the moon Yeah, and it's like why would a president just you know do that And tell that story and make that whole thing up Maybe he would because there's a lot of things these guys make up But I mean, I really believe we walked on the moon But now like he got guys like Rogan saying no, no, it was all stage never happened because look at the footprints and look at the back of their shoes and look at this It's like but that that's what I'm saying. Okay, so video evidence isn't enough What is and honest to god weren't we have the the social media trust The collapse we don't trust any no it has collapse because we have way too much footage way too much footage of everything and people's Dale don't believe trust none of it none of it If the new year has you saying I did not sign up for this like a workers

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32:31But I thought of another red flag person. Okay Now once in a while I find this okay. I've been guilty of it. Okay Is this Dixie chicks? Listen to me. My old All of this enough to carry us through That's right baby. Who is this? I don't know. It's It's royalty. I get we get to we get to use it. Oh But but what I was thinking is the person who laughs at their own jokes But I don't mean just laughs then. I mean like slapping the table, right? We don't want anybody like that Well, I'm laughing at your own jokes. Okay. I'm talking about slapping the table wheezing kicking it out And I started oh, I was reminded I have done that done that too where I have left or every show I remember like I used to I would want to I was to think of a singer to come back at Tommy with and I would start laughing before I delivered the line

33:36Because it was so funny. How do you do that too? Yes every time he every time he say something funny He look at me because he knew yes, I would crack up. Wow. That's what a comic does you're looking Yes, the best so I was if I were Tommy. I'd laugh at my own jokes too. I would I was thinking uh Of doing this bit of a million years ago and how I used to get excited and I would laugh I just did so Dan picked the state of Kentucky. Well, I think juice for the bringing back this idea resurrecting this idea is He wanted to call a place in Kentucky. Mm-hmm. So my phone is hooked up Uh, I did not get a burner phone We're gonna try to use some kind of technology that maybe we'll protect us. Maybe it won't I'll cellular one Now I should I give you Uh, the names I'll give you the names of three Places Okay, and I won't say where in Kentucky. We're calling okay, but we're calling in the state of Kentucky So these will be tanning slides and and tell people what you're gonna say what what what what's the idea? How long?

34:41The idea is that I represent a funeral home. I'm an undertaker or a funeral director and our makeup artist Yeah, Yvonne Yvonne is out is out with some type of illness or situation I've actually come up with some so We need to get Mrs. Johnson or somebody else's name that I'm gonna throw in here Their body needs to be you know Warm are colored. Yes for a show it. Yeah, like makeup. Yeah, we need to make up artist. She does she tells us it So we got a brown at the meat a little bit So we need to swing her by the tanning bed just to get some color Yes, let me uh get this off and I'm gonna put on a little dial in music here Yeah, little dial in music for you Dan. It's yourself all set Uh So now what do we want here? Do we want to see if we can get someone to stay on the longest? Which one of these funeral parlors? Oh, sorry, which one of these tanning beds will stay on the longest

35:45Okay, let's see if we can set a record and then every every time we do this we ought to try to break our record Hi glow society. Hi glow society. My name is Kevin from the Connors and Ferris funeral home. How are you today? I am doing well. How are you good? Who am I speaking with? This is glow society. This is Donna. Oh Donna. Hi. Are you the manager at glow society? I am. How can I help you? Yes, so we're from the Connors and Ferris funeral home 262 comp and We have a little situation going on our makeup artist Yvonne We had a sender home I don't know if you're familiar with Lou Holtz the old Notre Dame coach who passed away recently Well, we have him and Yvonne our makeup artist We had a sender home because she was playing patty cake with mr. Holtz who's a big fan and so But we have a showing for mr. Holtz like tomorrow and we don't have a makeup artist So we need to bring mr. Holtz Notre Dame head coach motivational speaker

36:49We need to bring his body down and get some color and we were hoping you could help us with that Donna And he is in bowling green. Yes football that's so interesting football town Ha bowling green Kentucky. Yes, it's where he's from it's where he got that exit. Yeah Huh, well, yeah, I'm not a makeup artist. No, we don't we're not asking you to do makeup. We just want to brown up the meat a little No, sir. No, who is this? This is Kevin from the Connors and Ferris funeral home Kevin, I am so sorry. I'm not going to be able to help you. What if we three a few extra bucks the Holtz family's got a lot of money Uh, they probably do but I'm not your girl. I appreciate you thinking of me though The pope is going to fly in for this because he was Notre Dame's head coach. Yes, really that So cool. Well, you know what there are a ton of other places that you could probably contact. I am I'm so booked I can't even get uh, what's this guy's name again? Lou Holtz. I cannot get him in. You can't go booked. I can't know. I cannot even get him in

37:53Bowling green's favorite son and you can't get me a bit to just like, you know, color Walk. Yeah, I'm so slow. Can you recommend another tanning salon? I can't know because I'm I don't really know of any other ones. Okay. Now are you guys like do you guys do spray tans or do you do like the uh, you lay in the bed? No, we do not do the lay in the bed. The lay in the bed is very bad for you and it can actually get you in a situation like Mr. Holtz. Ah, okay We don't need well. He's already gone. So it really wouldn't matter. I just need to right. I even stand him up You want to spray him. That's all I need. No, I'm good. I'm I'm so good. I appreciate you. Okay. Thank you, Dad I appreciate your help today Okay, have a good night. You too. You got it. Bye bye Danny, what are you doing bringing up Lou Holtz? Well, he's dead. I know Bowling green. Yeah, it could totally happen. No, he would like that was that was the tipping point for her. Okay, I didn't believe it. But she kept going. Oh wow, because she was just playing along with her friendly. You weren't giving her too hard of a time, but

38:58All right, we got one more. I won't do Lou Holtz this time. I'll just say Mrs. Johnson, Mrs. Johnson or just say like the Johnson family. Uh, you know, they're they're they're very I don't know film throbbing in around town. Okay, or even say you're calling from a different place. Like I'm calling from Lexington. They're very film throbbing in Lexington And okay, you know, so I'm like that. I don't know. Yeah, but that was such an obvious I go, man, we're out of practice. We're out of practice. We gotta get better. But how long we were on the phone with her though? Uh, I did not get it right down the time. I didn't. I can go back and find out. All right, I can figure that out Lou Holtz is in Bowling green. He's gonna be very next to secretary. What's the problem? Slate tanning salon. It's just generic enough. Yeah, they're probably not with it. Just generic enough

40:02Now the problem is I think We may have to I may have to get a bird. I think that's the problem Hi, yes. Who am I speaking with, please This is Addy. Hi, Addy. My name is Kevin and I'm calling from the Connors and Ferris funeral home here in town. How are you today? I'm good. How are you? Good. Good. We have a little situation here. Um, as you know, we do funerals here and we have a very wealthy philanthropic family in town The Johnson's who you have to have a showing tomorrow in our makeup artist Yvonne Is out sick with the herbs and we were hoping that we could Get some get some color for the body of Mrs. Johnson before the showing tomorrow or this family's good to lose their crap Oh Fortunately, we don't have any makeup artist here

41:05What you guys do spray tanning Yes, okay, all I need is some color so I can bring Mrs. Johnson by after hours or even now if you like All we got to do we got the horse will just swing her in on a gurney and then we just proper up in the spray tanning bed And you guys could just spray her up and down real quick because like this showings tomorrow and we're good I mean, Yvonne's not coming back. She may be transitioning So we don't know who's coming back. We just know that we got to get this body some color Okay, can I give you a call back and I'll talk to one of my managers if we can do that. Yeah, absolutely Um, and then what was your name? My name is Laura Okay, um, and I'll get existence a good number to call you back on. Yes Yes, I'll give you a call back. Thank you. Thank you Now that wasn't funny, but she bought it

42:07Okay, so we're gonna have to come in here. It just just blast them out for it for like three hours until we get like three good Well, yeah, I mean, that's what you got to do, but she shouldn't be able to call back Mm-hmm Because that'll talk if she does call back be like hey listen, um, they changed plans. No, I'm not gonna do that We're gonna say what are you talking about? I'm gonna Rochester. Where are you from? All right She didn't I mean she played along, but she wasn't playing like she thought we were serious. Yeah Well, she was smart enough to say we don't have any makeup artists. You're like, yeah, I don't we guys do spray tans, right? Yeah, I think the way we used to say it was our makeup artists is off We're kind of stuck can we bring the body over and you give it a little spray tan. Okay, so that way we're not saying Like we're looking for makeup artists. Although it's not terrible. Mm-hmm because they all that's like twice We've heard that right yes, but if we say if you say

43:08We're really in a jam. We've got a showing at 10 a.m. Tomorrow for the family only Big philanthropic family Can we get the can we get the body over? From sauce. This is Amanda. Hi Amanda My name is Laura and I'm calling from the funeral home down the road. How are you doing tonight? Good you're calling from where at the funeral home and then we got a little problem And I was wondering if you guys could help us out here. Do you guys do spray tans? I'm I don't you don't okay, but that's even better you do regular tans Yes, okay great great. We have a little situation here our makeup artist Yvonne died Two days ago, and so since she was our makeup artist We don't have anybody to make up for her So we're wondering if we could bring her by and just throwing a tanning bet real quick get maybe 20 minutes Get some get get some redness for her. So because we have a showing tomorrow morning private funeral

44:09And we're wondering if we can bring her by you guys come highly recommended and we can bring her by and get You know proud of the meet a little bit That is hilarious, but no thanks It's hilarious. No, I'm serious. We she died. We have no way of calling her up. Her family's gonna be out of their mind She's worked for us for 25 years No, you didn't know. Thank you. Are you sure because we'll pay extra? Okay, okay, all right. Well, okay. All right. We got three. Mm-hmm, right? Yeah, we got three. All right. We'll work on it We're not going wrong with that one was she's just not was she's just not Dumb enough to do it. Yes. Yes So we got people were dumb or so many years ago Well first we were calling from a block number mm-hmm Then I went through a different number that I have that I am fine with Because even if they call back it would be funny to play those messages back You know, yeah, so we'll work on that. Yeah, all right. So we got some bugs. Okay. We're gonna work out the bug stand

45:13All right, I thought I just the bugs the pop the pop the pop we're gonna be good. What are you apologize? I thought you know That's all right for Dan Barillo bringing back the old bitch, baby red flag anybody who does old bits Haha I'm Bill Moran. We'll see you next time Judgey make us feel