Decluttering: A Hidden Political Revolution? (Ep 300)

0:00Welcome to want to be cutter free the podcast for ambitious moms who are ready to ditch the mess and stress or good Let's simplify organize and create it like you actually love waking up too. Are you ready? Let's do this You know that thing where you get an amazing pair of shoes a really great price. I want to tell everyone about it Yeah, so do we here at designer shoe warehouse look at me something a brag about like the latest styles from brands You love or the trends everyone's obsessing over or shoes that make you feel like well, you So go ahead show off a little find shoes to get you a price is to get your budget That's your DSW store or DSW dot com today DSW Let us surprise you well. Hey there my friends. Welcome back to the show My name is Deanna Yates and you are listening to episode 300 of the want to be cutter free podcast I cannot believe we are 300 episodes in if you had told me that this podcast would still be here And I'd still be here talking to you 300 episodes later. I probably would have laughed or cried

1:01I mean, maybe both I started this right before covid and it kind of sustained me through that period But it's just been a wonderful real coaster. So thank you for suffering being here and sticking with me But here's the thing that I keep thinking about as I've been Then preparing about this episode it kind of feels like a milestone And so I really wanted to go back and think about when I started and when I started the show and how I thought about Decluttering and what that was like it was really just more of getting rid of stuff It was organizing and closet. It was clearing out the garage and the thing is that's not all it is It is that but it's not because the more I have done this work the more I have gotten into the mental side Um, and the mindsets about decluttering and the more I've watched all of you do this work The more I realized that the stuff isn't really the problem. It never really was The problem is what keeps creating the stuff or the desire to buy the stuff the problem is an entire system that

2:01Profits from your overwhelm your insecurity and your desire to feel better right now to put a bandaid on the solution To keep up with the Joneses and all of that kind of stuff It's a system that has figured out exactly how to get you to reach for your wallet Before you even realize you're doing it and I have been in that place before so this is not me preaching at you This is me just realizing like whoa This is what I have seen and this is what I have felt and I don't think we talk about that enough So I know I haven't talked about it enough and that's what this episode episode 300 is going to be about I want to go there I want to dive a little bit deeper and really get to a little bit more of the heart of the matter and I would love if you could just sit with this don't have a major Reaction to what I'm saying. Can you please? I would love to ask if you could just listen to this episode and see what resonates with you and The things that come up that feel a little sticky maybe they're parts that you actually need to sit with a little bit more Okay, I'm gonna tell you a little bit about my story or what happened and why I ended up here because a few weeks ago

3:06I was sitting with a lot and if you've been paying attention to the news at all then you know what I mean There's a lot happening right now. It feels heavy. It feels fast. It honestly feels really terrifying If you let yourself really look at it and I noticed something that when the overwhelm got loud enough My instinct was to reach for my phone my instinct was not to call someone not to do anything useful really But just to scroll to dooms grow to browse to look at things to feel like I was taking a load off to feel like I was letting myself Just relax and be in kind of fancy right just fantasy just kind of unwind relaxed let go But I caught myself with it in Amazon tab open no memory of opening it But just feeling bad about myself because I was Feeling overwhelmed and wanting to take back control and wanting to feel like I had control over my house and watching other People's homes and seeing what they look like and feeling like oh if I just changed something if I just

4:07Made my home feel a little bit better. Maybe I would feel a little bit better A little bit better. Maybe I would feel a little bit more control Maybe I wouldn't feel so overwhelmed. I wouldn't feel so out of it. I wouldn't just I could just take a moment to breathe It's not familiar in that moment though something clicked for me I realized that I had been circling around this idea for a long time that the chaos isn't Random and the feeling of being too overwhelmed to act that feeling of being like so overwhelmed that I just want to Plop on my couch and scroll and not do anything that I want to unblock like I just want to just like close off the rest of the world Right, I'm too scattered to show up that I'm too distracted to organize that I'm too distracted to resist to vote to push back That state of mind is worth money to people and there are industries that are built on keeping you Stuck in that overwhelm because a person who feels powerless is going to buy things a Person who feels behind buys things a person who is too exhausted from managing her stuff and her to-do list and her mental load to pay attention to what's actually happening

5:15Well, she definitely buys things and that's when I realized Every time I choose less I am opting out of Not convenience per se but I'm opting out of this system I'm opting out of the system that profits from my distraction. I'm getting quieter I'm quieting my brain. I'm getting quieter on the insides so that I can be louder or it actually matters So I can start to show up so I can feel more control and I can start to take back my power and that's what episode 300 is about So hopefully this sounds interesting. We're gonna get a little spicy and I hope you're with me. I hope you're with me on this journey This episode is brought to you by progressive insurance Fiscally responsible financial geniuses Monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to progressive and Save hundreds Visit progressive.com to see if you could save progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates potential savings will vary

6:17Not available in all states or situations Okay, so most of you know I discovered quints through their clothes I basically built my entire summer capsule from them when we went to Europe and right now I am obsessed with their cotton cashmere dolmond sweater I already have it in Heather oatmeal And I am about to grab it in the mountain spring blue because it is just the perfect lightweight layer for spring But here's the thing their home collection has that same energy Beautiful quality and prices that actually make sense their Turkish cotton bath towels Game changer one of my favorite things in our home They are thick and luxurious and they're the kind of towels that people ask where you got them And they assume I spend way more than I did because quints is priced 50 to 60% less than traditional retailers Amazing materials same craftsmanship half the price and you know where the products come from because they work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middleman So you're not paying for retail markup just really beautiful well-made home upgrades Right now go to quince.com slash one of e for free shipping and 365 day returns

7:22That's a full year to live with it and love it and you will now available in Canada too Don't keep waiting to make your space feel like you go to cue you I N C E dot com slash one of e for free shipping and 365 day returns quince dot com slash one of e Because I want to say something that is a little out there at first Please, please, please stay with me like I said stick with it and hear the whole message The clutter in your home is not an accident. It's not a personal failing. You did not fail And it is not because you are disorganized or lazy or bad at adulting We might feel those things But what it is in a significant part is the intended result of a trillion dollar industry that is a very very Very good at its job desire is manufactured. We are shown ads 4,000 to 10,000 times a day. That is a lot of ads to be shown every day

8:24And the goal is not to make you aware of the product sit with that as somebody who has gone to marketing school Who has a business who has heard multiple times someone has to see a product seven times in order before they'll buy it I cannot tell you how many times I've heard that saying But if you really think about it the goal might not be to make you aware of the product The goal might be to make you feel incomplete without it Okay, I'm gonna go back to my Stanley like I didn't buy this Stanley But remember the Stanley craze you probably do the goal wasn't to make you feel like you needed A Stanley water bottle or even to make you feel like you needed a water bottle The goal was to make you feel incomplete if everyone else around you had a Stanley and you didn't Okay, I won this at a trade show was one of the few things I actually didn't keep for my trade show And now I need a drink of water Begin your my voice, but now I use it I'm not going out to buy the new or wallow whatever the newest water bottle craze is I just have a water bottle because I needed a water bottle my other one broke by the way

9:27It was glass it broke. I was super sad about it But now I have this one the next thing I want to talk about is like the treat yourself culture Have you ever found yourself saying oh, just you just you know, we'll treat for myself. I've done it I've done it a lot actually And that is a sales strategy So when self-care became a marketing term it was a genius move for marketers It attached spending to your worthiness you deserve this you've earned this your well-being requires this all marketing Algorithms are not showing you what you love they are showing you what you are most likely to buy Now I'm going to date myself. So for those of you that are younger and you're newer to social media I remember when social media came out and things were shown to you in a chronological order So it meant that there was actually an end to the feed do you remember that like you could see all the things your friends had posted Today or yesterday or within the last week if you were really on a big doom scroll session wasn't doom scrolling back Then it was people you were actually connected to people you wanted to be connected to in your life

10:29And it was chronological that has totally changed my feed now is filled with ads It's not in chronological order. It's filled with suggestions of people. I want to follow and so it is a curated shopping experience You think you're relaxing, but you're being sold to goal for social media companies is to make money They make money on ads. They make money on keeping you on the platform So their goal is to keep you addicted So they're not showing you what you love they're showing you an experience that they are curating for you Another thing fast fashion seasonal decor those haul videos They're all designed around one thing to create a feeling of lack where there was none There wasn't a feeling of lack before This is why I tell people to unsubscribe from magazines or mailers Because if you didn't know you wanted that thing before it showed up in your mailbox before it showed up on your desk Then you don't really need it. It's a want that's being planted in your brain

11:30So these ideas that things are changing seasonally that you have to keep up with the new trends It's a way to make last season's coat feel embarrassing or a way to make your house look dated right back to my amazon story I was feeling bad because I just wanted something a little bit different Not that the things I have in my house are bad, but it just was having a day I caught myself before I bought it which made me feel really happy and proud about myself But I know I've been doing this work for a very long time So if I'm still feeling succumbed to it and still feeling pressured by it I know there's so many other people out there that are as well And this is not a small thing it might feel small it might be like Deal I bought that little Trinket while I was in line buying the other things I was at target and my cart ended up being $300 instead of Oh, I just went in for you know some socks and know some granola bars or whatever How many times does that happen right? Merrick can spend an estimated $18,000 per household on non-essential purchases things

12:31We don't need things which is wanted impulse buys things that made us feel good We treated ourselves to sell storage is a 44 billion dollars with a B industry in this country in the us alone We have more stuff than any society in human history We are also some of the most anxious most in debt most overwhelmed people in human history Think about that for a second. We have the most knowledge We have the most resources. We have the most ability to do Whatever we want in human history and we are the most anxious most in debt most overwhelmed We need to change this and that's really I think the heart of what I do and why I do it The really insidious part this system knows that when you are stressed when you are lonely when you are bored when you are scared You are more likely to buy and so the things that make you want to shop doom's growing the news Feeling disconnected that vague sense that everyone else has their life together Trust me. We don't know one does we're all faking it till we make it those are not side effects

13:37Those are features for the companies that want to sell you goods and services Okay, I am not saying this to make you feel powerless quite the opposite I am saying this because I think once you see it it's hard to unsee it And that is where your power starts That's the whole point of this. I want to help you be more powerful There was an incredible resource. I read last year. It's called no new things by Ashley Piper And Ashley if you end up seeing this I would love to have you on the show I thought this was fantastic. I want to do a no new things challenge Myself she spent her goal was to do a full year buying nothing new no clothing no home goods nothing Brand new now she shops secondhand and there were there's lots of different ways that you can still get things into your life But they don't have to be new things and so she goes into lots of information if you're at all interested Highly highly highly recommend the book. I'll put it in the show notes I'm not even prescribing that for you though, but this premise of this book cracked something open for me Because the question it kept asking was what if you were actually fine? What if you were fine with what you have right now or without having

14:44Anything new ever again. I think there's enough clothes on the planet right now to load everybody forever ever more If we didn't have to follow all the trends or if we didn't feel like we had to follow all the trends If we didn't have to get the new things and so what if you had enough What if the desire excuse me what if the desire to buy was not a signal that you needed something But a signal that someone has successfully made you feel like you did what if what if you didn't actually need it And so here is the reframe I want you to take with you not buying is not deprivation It is defection. It is getting out of the system. It is saying no I choose to no longer be blind to all of this that is happening happening around me and I choose a different path So every time you walk past a sale and you keep walking you were opting out of a system that profits from your overwhelm Every time you borrow instead of buy you repair instead of replace you sit just simply sit with wanting something And deciding you're okay without it You are making a choice that the entire retail economy is designed to prevent you from making

15:48You were saying no thanks and it's pretty cool when you think about it You can make a change by doing or buying less I mean how cool how often can you actually do something really powerful by actually doing less or if you are not on board with the less part yet Let's say somehow you ended up with my podcast in your ears I don't know how because most people here are looking to declutter or Organize their home or have a little bit less in their life If you're not on board with that idea you can do a new a no new things challenge And just not buy anything new by doing this that you actually choose to remove yourself from that merry go round of spending culture It's pretty cool. It's pretty powerful And then there's the other side of this because choosing less is not just about protecting your physical space or your bank account It's also about what you are putting your dollars toward and what you are not Putting your dollars toward what you are not buying So where we spend our money is one of the most direct forms of civic participation available to us

16:49Quick way say that you vote with your dollars So every purchase is a vote for the kind of world you want to live in who do you want to get richer Which supply chains do you want to supply what do you want to signal demand for all of those things are a way for you to vote with your dollars I think about that a lot I think about when stores go out of business around me And if it's a store that I at one time had you know been to and I'm like That's kind of sad with this really cool ice cream shop that didn't make it past COVID and I'm so sad It's not there now. It's a crumble cookie Which okay fine crumble cookies are fine, but it wasn't like that really cool Sunday place that was just felt a little more special and so now I really think about that and I Try to buy things from local shops. I want to support my local economy I want to support the little mom and pops that are around me And so that's where I spend my money. That's where I try to spend my money I don't always succeed, but it's where I try to spend my money when I can So I try to vote with my dollars wherever I spend my money is a vote of confidence a vote of saying I believe in you

17:53I want you to be here And this is how I choose to spend the resources that I have available to me now I know that can feel really abstract. So again, let's make it a little more concrete So buying less from a fast fashion company that's going to use Slave labor or you know, sweatshops that kind of a thing labor practices that you don't believe in That's a vote buying second hand is a vote repairing something instead of tossing it That's a vote simply not buying something that was engineered to manufacture desire in you you got it That's a vote now none of this requires a perfect record none of this requires you to be some kind of Anti-consumer purist It just requires you to start seeing the choice to start seeing the buying choices you have And I've been thinking a lot lately about how many of us feel smaller More disconnected and just more out of control than we used to like the things that are happening in the world are Too big too fast They're too far outside of anything that we can control or be a part of even

18:57And as we sit in this moment in history our eyes are being opened to How we were all groomed as a society especially as girls, right as girls and still as women We're told that we need to look young. We need to be thin We need to have less power. We do so much invisible labor and society still puts that on us, right? And now we're being bombarded by Distraction so we feel overwhelmed we pull back we stay quiet Heck I even had to do that. I pulled back I stopped listening to so much news to protect my mental health to protect my sanity But I don't want to stay quiet anymore. Of course. I'm still voting. I'm still staying aware of the things that are going on I'm not constantly on the news, but I'm curating my news again I'm starting to get back into what's happening around me. I don't want to be quiet I don't want to be powerless one of my favorite songs is sit still look pretty I will put a link in the show notes if you don't know this song Please listen to it belt it belt it from the rafters. I love that song

20:00I'm going to put a link in the show notes and I know I'm not alone I hear from listeners in my community almost every day that things feel outside of our control right now We are so overwhelmed we're tired. We're bogged down. There's just too much to do But here is what's not outside of your control what comes through your front door So what do you give your attention to what do you let take up space in your home in your head Your home is your jurisdiction and in a moment when it feels like you have very little power That can make a big difference and once you start tapping into your power You get to decide what to do with it and once you start feeling more powerful You can take that outside your house. I am not trying to have you stay inside and keep you closed off I want you to get control feel powerful put it on for size try it on in the dressing room And then take it out into the world Do not sit still and look pretty. I want you to get loud and be noisy and Used the god-given talents you have to get out into the world

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22:05And it's not just the physical stuff I would be remiss if I didn't talk about the emotional and mental side as well because That's where most of our physical clutter starts is with the mental and the emotional and the things that's going on That's what leads us to wanting more and feeling like we need to buy more So let's chat about it briefly because that stuff does clutter your mind and I want to help us move past it So I would be remiss if I just said we'll just clean up your house Um because we got to clean up what's going on in here too So scrolling through short form content tiktok wheels youtube shorts. It's not neutral It's not just a pastime that doesn't affect us. It totally does and a huge portion of that content exists to make you want things The haul video the things I can't live without the Amazon binds these are ads wearing the costume of entertainment Okay, and that mental residue of that constant wanting is its own kind of clutter that low grade buzz of desire The vague dissatisfaction with what you have the sense that everyone else's life looks more put together than yours

23:08If you're following me on Instagram right now, which again, I know I'm telling you to get off of these platforms But what I don't want you to do on these platforms is just endlessly scroll It is totally fine to curate your feed of people that you want to follow and then just be sure that you're not spending too much time on them So but if you are following me, I'm doing a 30 day series and one of the tips that I talked about was this Highlight real fallacy right this highlight real that you are seeing what people curate and put out there for you They are not showing you the behind the scenes the nitty gritty the failures the things that they don't want to put out Okay, so please do not compare your worst day with someone's highlight real. Okay, please, please Let's just something I want you to think of when you are going through and you're scrolling It's okay like I'm still gonna scrolls gonna be really hard for me to quit cold turkey Although we'll see that might be something I end up doing by the end of the year because I'm getting more and more dissolution with social media And what's going on there? And right now I'm mostly just using it for work

24:10But I gotta tell you I find it's very hard to pull myself away from it So we'll see where we end up But I have found that when I go through periods of genuinely consuming less less scrolling less browsing less just looking Something interesting really happens that wanting quiet down not right away But within a few days I start to feel more satisfied with what I actually have my home looks better to me my life looks better to me I kind of look up and all of a sudden I'm seeing more color around me and I just want you to know that you cannot want your way to peace Does that make sense like you can't just say like if I just keep wanting then I'm gonna feel peaceful It's not how it works. You can reduce the input that creates the wanting and that will help you feel more peaceful We want to feel gratitude start thinking about the things that you have that you are grateful for And that will help you start to feel more peaceful Take it away from the wanting there's endless once in the world So we have to stop using that as a measurement for how we feel because it's fleeting right there's always more in the world

25:14There's always people that have more that Even the richest person in the world still wants things so it's it's a bottomless pit It's a never-ending cup that it'll never be full all right So I would be remiss of course. I'm never gonna leave you with things to not try right I want to give you a few things to try so that you can start Pulling away pulling away from these things pulling away from buying pulling away from wanting pulling away from consuming I think that's my goal for 2026 is to consume less and Be more of a creator and less of a consumer So here are some ways that we can do that I want you to start with a 24 hour rule So when you want to buy something wait 24 hours just 24 give yourself a slight pause a little break between The feelings of want and that desire and the actual act of buying and then see how often that feeling passes It usually passes pretty quickly. It's kind of surprising So if you are addicted to shopping on Amazon just leave it in the cart for 24 hours before you actually buy it

26:17You might be surprised tomorrow in the light of day when you aren't hungry you aren't tired and you aren't Hadn't just gotten through a dooms growl session you actually can say um actually really want that where I can live without it Or have something else that works just as fine. I want you to unsubscribe from one retailer email today just one That one pick the one that reliably makes you browse when you weren't planning to pick the one that makes you think like Maybe if I had that couch or oh, that's a really cool little chat skate of put on my bookshelf Think about unsubscribing from that one. I want you to audit one just looking habit So one app or one site that you open when you're bored Notice what it's selling you even if it looks like entertainment There's always something that's being sold to you all right, so just take a moment put on some Glasses that are a little more analytical a little more skeptical a little more cynical maybe I know I'm generally really positive But I think when it comes to buying things we need to be a little more cynical I would also challenge you to do a no new things experiment for one category

27:20If you don't want to do your entire life just pick one category So you don't have to go a full year like Ashley Viper did you could do one month with no new clothing no new home decor Pick the one category that you go to that's your that's the one that you tend to gravitate toward So a lot for a long time I haven't really been attracted to clothing. I don't know I don't really like shopping for clothing. I think I just hate trying it on I hate trying getting new clothes It's just a whole thing so I would gravitate towards home decor like let's cute or you know, whatever And so once I stopped bringing in new things home decor wise It made a big difference for me and so take a look at that And then I want you to name the feeling before you buy Not to talk yourself out of it, but just to see am I bored? Am I stressed? Am I lonely? Am I trying to solve a feeling with an object and again I want to remind you that all Buying is not bad. I have a tendency to do an all or nothing like a viewpoint like I can't buy anything

28:21This is just a pause. It's just a pause for you to say like oh What comes up for me when I'm not able to buy something new for a week two weeks a month? Huh am I feeling bored? Did I want to buy something because I was bored? Did I want to buy something because I felt bad about myself? Did I want to buy something because I'm really stressed? Did I want to buy something because I didn't get a good night's sleep? Did I want to shop because you know what? I kind of ate junk food all day and now I just don't feel good And so what is it? What is the trigger for you? It's not about never buying anything new So I don't want you to think that you absolutely can buy some new things I mean of course there's going to be things that you absolutely should buy new all the time Hello underwear lingerie those kinds of things buy those new that's fine But don't necessarily have buying new beer need jerk reaction to every single thing in your home That's just what I would love to have you just start to think There are other options and see those other options

29:21I just want you to know that this all just comes back to what I do here on this podcast Because when you stop being flow something beautiful happens The decluttering stops being this endless project that you never finish You start making actual progress That's one of the things that I know people complain about They're like I decluttered and it's a mess again We have to stop the inflow Because that's when you start making actual progress You create the home that stays calmer Because you are working with your habits instead of against them Decluttering without addressing the inflow Is like bailing out a boat without plugging the hole Stopping the inflow is the plug Then we can make progress Then we can sail to the other side of the lake We can make it out of the choppy waters When our boat is fixed When it's full, when it is a boat that will stay afloat Gosh that ended up rhyming and sounds really silly Sorry but when your boat stays afloat You will make it through the choppy waters

30:22So let's plug the inflow Let's stop all the stuff coming into our homes Let's practice our power Let's exercise this idea that Buying is our power That we can vote with our dollars And so that's really what this is about I mean you can make it a political statement if you want to You don't have to But I just want you to be able to take back your power Because if you want to have more power in this world If you want to show up If you're tired of being quiet This is an easy place to start When so much feels so overwhelming And it feels impossible This is 100% in your control Alright so 300 episodes later Here's what I actually believe after all of it I believe that a calmer home is not a luxury It is a form of resistance against a culture That profits from your chaos I believe that buying less is one of the most personal Practical and powerful things That you can do right now Not because it will fix everything But because it is yours It is a choice that you can actually make today

31:25In your own life, in your own home That pushes back against a system That is counting on you not to And I believe that you already know this I think a lot of you listening to this right now Have felt this Pulled this pull toward less overwhelm Toward a simpler but fuller life Toward a life that doesn't require you to manage so much stuff That doesn't actually matter to you And if that sounds good I want to invite you to join me on this journey of less Don't just think about it as having less for the sake of having less I want you to reframe it as less noise So that you can take back your power And do whatever the heck you want with it When you are your beautiful powerful self And so if you are on board Here's my one ask for this episode For episode 300 Not a review Not a follow Just this I want you to think of one person in your life Who is drowning in stuff And who doesn't know why they can't get ahead of it That one person who shops when they're stressed Who feels guilty about their clutter

32:25Who's trying to get organized a hundred times But can't figure out why it never sticks I would love if you could send them this episode Send them this episode Text it to them right now if you want Tell them episode 300 of want to be clutter free Is the one that finally names the real problem With decluttering and buying Because the message in this episode Is that clutter is not your fault It's that the system is working exactly As it is designed to And that you have more power than you think And that message deserves to reach Many many more people As many people as we possibly can And you are how it gets there All right thank you so much for being here Thank you for 300 episodes I don't take it lightly that you spend your time with me And that you let me into your earbuds Into your home Into your commutes Into your kitchen while you cook dinner And while you're cleaning your house I really appreciate it And so here is your quick win for today Before you open a shopping app Or click add to cart on something today Just pause

33:26Take a deep breath And for five seconds Just sit there And then ask yourself Do I actually need this Or am I just being made to feel like I do Five seconds That's it That's the beginning of opting out And that's the beginning of you taking back your power I want you to join me next week for an interview With Michelle Nemeier We are talking about the art of bending time It's a very interesting conversation And so I hope you'll join me Until then take care Keep things simple so that you can be more powerful And remember that I believe in you I know you can do anything you put your mind to I'm Deanna Yates And you've been listening to want to be clutter free I'll see you next week Cheers