Crying in Public

As ever, this week’s episode is a riff off of this week’s essay. I don’t always read the essay to get things cooking, but I did this week because it felt like a good jumping off point to talk about the broader topic of having a little compassion for ourselves right now, and for each other. For the first time, I also read a comment someone left underneath the essay. If you listen, I think you’ll understand why. There’s really no point in creating anything if there isn’t anyone there to see it or hear it, or receive it and respond.

Or maybe that isn’t exactly right. Maybe if any one of us who writes or paints or makes music, suddenly found ourselves starring in a real-life version of one of those dystopian tv shows or films that are so popular, we’d still make our art. I know if I thought I were the last person on earth (or in some space station where everyone else had perished), I’d find a way to write, but I can’t think of anything lonelier than writing into a vast universe with no hope of a response, can you?

I don’t think any of us would want to be the last person on earth or floating through space, and when you watch those shows or films, the one thing the person is always motivated to do is find out if anyone is “out there.” As much as people seem to scream at each other on the internet, we do long for connection. We do want to be understood.

It hurts to be human right now, or it does if you’re paying attention to what’s happening in the world, and letting yourself feel the emotions anyone would feel in the face of so much heartache and violence. It’s especially painful when you acknowledge that so much of this is unnecessary. We don’t have to be living this way. Of course there’s the inherent grief that’s built into the mix of loving people because we don’t last forever. There’s the grief of losing relationships for other reasons, too.

I am talking about casual, intentional cruelty, though. Here in the states we’re seeing so much of that, and for people who think and feel the way I do, it is unfathomable that anyone would have voted for this. Twice. There are times I have to get away from the screens and go outside and breathe, sit alone by the ocean, or walk my dog until we’re both ready to curl up under a blanket, because it is a constant onslaught, and it makes my head spin sometimes. It is okay not to be okay. Being apathetic is the thing that is worrisome.

There are times I have to take a break so I can remind myself the world is beautiful. I have to recalibrate and fill my tank so I can fight for the world I love, and the one I want for my children, and all our children — and for us, too. I read the reader comment because it is meaningful and poignant, and also as a reminder that we’re all connected, and our fates are tied.

Whether we’re talking about seemingly small things, like letting someone merge on the freeway (I would argue this is no small thing, but rather the kind of magic that restores my faith in humanity), or the way we’re treating our allies, our actions matter, they have an impact on the people around us, and a ripple effect that travels farther than we might think.

Some people understand this and live their lives accordingly. They embody kindness, acceptance, generosity and love. They move through the world without armor, and they don’t take it personally when people attack them. They see the pain underneath the words. (This is what I would call an advanced spiritual practice.) That’s why we feel so heartbroken when we lose them, and why people who wouldn’t normally, might cry in public when talking about them.

This episode is dedicated to the one and only Dolly Parton.

If you have it to spare, people have been donating $9.25 (“9 to 5”) to her Imagination Library all week, and I think she would be so tickled by that. I linked it in the essay, but I’ll link it again here <3

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