Corrections: The Podcast | Episode 166 - "Glazed Corrections"

0:00What you're about to hear is an audio recording of a recent episode of Seth Meyers Corrections. To watch new episodes of Corrections, subscribe to the Late Night YouTube channel. In the year 2021, Late Night Talk Show host Seth Meyers unleashed the full fury of the internet with the utterance of a single word. These are the stories of one man's dissent into the bowels of the internet and his courage to take on the most dangerous people on earth, YouTube commenters. Recorded every Thursday after the audience has left Studio HG and witnessed only by scattered members of the Late Night staff and crew, this is Corrections, the podcast. Corrections, episode 166, week of Monday, February 23rd, 2026.

1:00It's a real thin gruel today. I think maybe we were all on Olympic hiatus, because it just wasn't much and you know, that's okay. You know, take a, take a winter break, it's totally fine. Here's something somebody wrote in, paper is not the skin of trees, it's the pulverized and processed flesh of trees. Paper is not the skin of trees, it's the pulverized and processed flesh of trees. Name something you don't want to hear a blind date say. These don't have buttholes, they have cloacas. So I said New York construction workers were oracle of delfives, meaning they were multiple

2:06oracles. I made delfives where they are from the plural, that is obviously incorrect. They would be attorneys Delphi. Someone wrote in, there's no such thing as skipping breakfast. The first meal you have in any given day is breakfast by definition, because that is when you are breaking the fast. But like, keep that to yourself. You know, so I'm like, we'd love to have you over for dinner, don't be like, it will be my breakfast, for I have not stopped it during the day.

3:08It's a pasta ship. I was told, speaking of pasta, someone's like, no key is not a pasta, it's a dumpling. That's why when you go to an Italian restaurant, no key is listed under the dumpling section. That's not pasta, it's a tiny bow tie. Oh, somebody said I'm too old to use the term glazes. Sal put glazes in yesterday's clothes. It did feel weird when I said it, right? I said glazes, they said it. Now I will say glazing to me, I know it's an older term.

4:08Curtis Lewa said it in one of the New York mayoral debates. So I kind of thought maybe I'm younger than Curtis Lewa, I'm happy to say. I do agree, one that I'm probably too old to use the term glazes. Also Curtis Lewa, as he's known in the Myers home, our mayor. Somebody wrote, I watched all regular episodes of Corrections. Please somebody, when did Cosby come up during discovery? I can't even remember why, but I had a graphic of a mantis shrimp as rocky. There was a shrimp as rocky and there's someone in the correction comments who's very upset

5:09because we did not use a photo of a mantis shrimp in that graphic because the mantis shrimp is so colorful and weird looking, I thought it was distracting. And so basically for months someone's been like, you're a coward, show a picture of the real mantis shrimp. Which I had and... I'm not going to leave again. I'm not going to leave again because it was very awkward last corrections I left. And then I wasn't even planning on leaving, but then I was like, this would be fun. And so I walked all the way around and I walked past Jim and Jim was with a couple. He had a couple of guests at the show and he was like, hey, Seth, can you take a picture? And it was the funniest thing because I literally was like, I'm in the middle of corrections. Which is an insane thing to say to somebody in the hallway. Like why? But I am going to start doing it. I am going to start using that, just in New York when I'm on the streets.

6:12If someone's ever like, can I get a picture? I'm like, I'm doing corrections. Big Jim's story this week. Now again, grain of salt, this all came via John. So we had a chef on the show and the chef's going through a metal detector. And the chef's got a knife on him and it sets off the metal detector. So Jim's like, I'll hold the knife. So Jim takes the knife from the guy. And then they get through security and Jim won't give him the knife back till after the show. And John's just like, just give him the knife back and Jim won't give it back. And I get it, Jim, because again, as a security guard, like the absolute most embarrassing thing that could happen is if the person you're in charge of protecting gets stabbed to death by a knife you give back to someone. It's almost impossible to recover from if they're like, oh my god, I heard chef knives got stabbed to death. What happened? And Jim's like, long story.

7:13But then Jim gets called away to do something else, which by the way, I love knowing. The half my security team is just on call to like anybody else in the building. So anyway, so the segment ends and then the chef was like, hey, where's my knife? And they're like, it's gone. Jim's like walking around the building with a knife, you know. And so we had to have an intern the next day run the knife back to the chef who was good. And again, I know this is true because at the end of the story, John said true story. Which I'm pretty sure is also his like email signature. I made fun of this kid for not having anything that said it was his fifth birthday. But then this was the graphic I left when I walked around it. I gave people enough time to see that there were in fact five candles on his hat.

8:15Lesson learned. Lesson learned. We talked about Joe Namath and that the moon landing happened after the jets won the Super Bowl. And that maybe the moon landing freaked out Joe Namath so much that that's what has led to them never winning another Super Bowl. And I will say a jackal had a great observation, which is you know, a lot of people say the moon landing is faked. And he said, what if the jet Super Bowl win was faked? That would maybe explain why they haven't been able to replicate it. Oh, somebody sent me this. It's a little alphdol. It says born to rock. And I just this is the 80s or so. Somebody made me a jackal mug and I just I just enjoy it for it's like how homemade it is.

9:15I didn't feel like a really good vibe with what what we're doing here. That's from Tally or Tally. Sure, she'll let me know. I mean, it's going to be a bust, but I mean, I'm going to I am going to try Andy just because you know there's not much else going on. And see again to establish why we're calling Andy. It is because somebody said his. His alphs sounded like sounded like his Nicholas cage. And I feel like talking to him about that's like good content. You know, we're in a content era. It'll be short. It'll be bite size, you know, we'll do it vertically. That'll help. You don't want to keep feeding the beast. It's hard. It's hard to stay ahead of the old content game these days. Quibi, by the way, ahead of the curve.

10:16We all made a lot of jokes about Quibi, but they knew what the future was. I mean, not this. This is still the past. And all right, it's a bust. But, you know, fun. It was fun while lasted. Oh, Jesus. There it is. That's what it looked like. Can't believe I couldn't remember where it was. I mean, the shrimp's always on the barbie. Real proud of myself. You know who would hate this. This is not where a pat that should have been my closer, but I just had an idea. You know who would hate to see this dude more than anyone?

11:19Curtis Lewa. It's a wonderful cat. It's Google it. All right, see you next week. For more episodes of Corrections, subscribe to the Late Night Podcast, wherever you get your podcasts. And to watch Corrections with all the exciting visual references you missed here, subscribe to the Late Night with Seth Meyers YouTube channel. Subscribe to the Late Night Podcast.