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The Damita Podcast with Charlotte Harper — Cooking in the early afternoon. Machine-transcribed; use the interactive transcript above to jump the player to any line.
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... Hello, and again welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. We are currently experiencing technical difficulties due to circumstances of potentially apocalyptic significance beyond our control. However, thanks to emergency testing protocols, testing can continue. These pre-recorded messages will provide instructional and motivational support, so that sites can still be done, even in the event of environmental, social, economic or structural collapse.
The portal will open, and emergency testing will begin in three, two, one. ... Cube at button-based testing remains an important tool for science, even in a dire emergency. If Cube and button-based testing cause this emergency, don't worry, the odds of this happening twice are very slim. ... Please note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Materially Mancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through. If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples. You are simply experiencing a rare reaction in which the Materially Mancipation Grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head.
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... ... ... ... ... ... If the Earth is currently governed by a manner of animal king, seni and cloud, or other governing body that either refuses to, or is incapable of listening to it.
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... Good. If you feel that a lethal military android has not respected your rights as detailed in the laws of robotics, please note it on your self-reporting form. A future Aperture Science in Title, and Associate will initiate the appropriate grievance filing paperwork. This next test is very dangerous to help you remain tranquil in a face of almost certain death. Smooth jazz will be deployed in three, two, one. ...
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