Cooking in the early afternoon

0:00... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... Hello, and again welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. We are currently experiencing technical difficulties due to circumstances of potentially apocalyptic significance beyond our control. However, thanks to emergency testing protocols, testing can continue. These pre-recorded messages will provide instructional and motivational support, so that sites can still be done, even in the event of environmental, social, economic or structural collapse.

1:07The portal will open, and emergency testing will begin in three, two, one. ... Cube at button-based testing remains an important tool for science, even in a dire emergency. If Cube and button-based testing cause this emergency, don't worry, the odds of this happening twice are very slim. ... Please note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science materially emancipation grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through. If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.

2:15You are simply experiencing a rare reaction in which the materially emancipation grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

3:20... ... ... ... ... Good. Because of the technical difficulties we are currently experiencing, your test environment is unsupervised. Before re-entering a relaxation ball to have the conclusion of testing, please take a moment to write down the results of your test. Aperture Science reintegration associate will revive you for an interview when society has been rebuilt. ...

4:21If the Earth is currently governed by a manner of animal king, sentient cloud, or other governing body that either refuses to, or is incapable of listening to it. ... Hey! You made it! There should be a portal device on that podium over here. ... ... ... I'll wait 1 hour, then I'll come back, assuming I can locate your dead body. All right, we'll leave. ……Go team! See you in an hour hopefully! If you're not dead!

5:26Some emergency testing may require prolonged interaction with lethal military androids. Rest assured that all lethal military androids have been taught to read and provided with one copy of the laws of robotics. To share! Good! If you feel that a lethal military android has not respected your rights as detailed in the laws of robotics, please note it on your self-reporting form. A future aperture science entitlement associate will initiate the appropriate grievance filing paperwork. This next test is very dangerous. To help you remain tranquil in a face of almost certain death, smooth jazz will be deployed in three, two, one.

7:15This test is very dangerous. If you feel that a lethal military android has not respected your rights, please note it on your self-reporting form. If you feel that a lethal military android has not respected your rights, please note it on your self-reporting form. If you feel that a lethal military android has not respected your rights, please note it on your self-reporting form. If you feel that a lethal military android has not respected your rights, please note it on your self-reporting form. If you feel that a lethal military android has not respected your rights, please note it on your self-reporting form. If you feel that a lethal military android has not respected your rights, please note it on your self-reporting form. Great work! Because this message is pre-recorded, any observations related to your performance are speculation on our part. Please disregard any undeserved compliments.

8:43If you feel that a lethal military android has not respected your rights, please note it on your self-reporting form. If you feel that a lethal military android has not respected your rights, please note it on your self-reporting form. If the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas, wherever a lack of shelter from space debris does not appear to be a deliberate part of the test. If you feel that a lethal military android has not respected your rights, please note it on your self-reporting form. If you feel that a lethal military android has not respected your rights, please note it on your self-reporting form.

9:51If you feel that a lethal military android has not respected your rights, please note it on your self-reporting form.

10:59...in apocalyptic low-power environments of his view as 1.1 volts. 好了 This next test applies the principle of momentum to movement through portals. If the laws of physics no longer apply in the future, God help you!