Cooking in the early afternoon

1:00Good work getting this far future starter? That said, if you are simple-minded, old, or irradiated in such a way that the future should not start with you, please return to your primitive tribe and send back someone better qualified for testing. To ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled. The Enrichment Center respects your right to have questions or concerns about this policy. Hey! Hi, I'm up here! Oh, brilliant! You did find a portal come! Oh, do you know what? It just goes to show, people with brain damage are the real heroes in the end, aren't they at the end of the day? Brave! The portal, on that wall behind me there, and I'll meet you on the other side of the room.

2:06Come on through! Okay, listen, let me lay something on you here, it's pretty heavy. They told me, never, never, ever, to disengage myself from my management rail, or I would die. But we're out of options here, so get ready to catch me, alright, on the off chance that I'm not dead, the moment I pop off this thing. On three. Ready? One. Two. Three! That's high, it's too high, isn't it, really, that? Alright, going on three just gives you too much time to think about it. Let's go on one this time. Okay, ready? One. Catch me, catch me! Ow! Hi! I'm not dead! I'm not dead! Haha! Plug me into that stick on the wall over there, yeah? And I'll show you something. You'll be impressed by this. Um, yeah, I can't do it if you're watching. Seriously, I'm not joking, can you just turn around for a second?

3:08Alright, you can turn around now. Ah, secret panel. Right open. Right backwards turn. Pick me up, or let's get out of here. And off we go. Look at this! No rail to tell us where to go! Oh, this is brilliant. We can go wherever we want. Just hold on there, where are we going, seriously. Hang on, let me just get my bearings. Just follow the rail actually. Oh no! Yes! Hello, we're all stopping. Don't make eye contact. Why are you doing it? No! Thanks, we're good. Appreciate it. Keep moving. Keep moving. Probably ought to bring you up to speed on something right now. In order to escape, we're going to have to go through her chamber. And she will probably kill us if she's, um, awake. If you want to just call liquids, we could just sit here forever.

4:10That's an option. Option A, sit here, do nothing. Option B, go through there. And if she's alive, she'll miss her in the kill us. Okay, I'm going to name the cards on the table. I don't want to do it. I don't want to go in there. Don't go into that, she's off. Don't panic over it, she's off. All right, on we go. There she is. What a nasty piece of work she was, honestly. Like a proper mania. Do you know who ended up taking her down the end? You're not going to believe this. A human. I know. I know. I wouldn't have believed either. Apparently this human escaped and nobody's seen him since. Then there was a sort of long chunk of time where, um, absolutely nothing happened. And then there's us escaping now. Yeah, so, um, that's pretty much the whole story you have to speak. Don't touch him. Okay, down these stairs. Jump! Actually, look at it. That is quite a distance, isn't it?

5:10Ah! Oh, still held. Still being held. That's a great job. You've applied the grit. We're all fine. That's tremendous. Ah! Hey, just sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it. Ah! That's just done it again. This is the main breaker room. Look for a switch that says escape pod. All right, don't touch anything else. Not just anything else. Don't touch anything else. Don't even look anything else. Just look what, obviously, you've got to look at everything else to find the escape pod. But as soon as you look at something, it doesn't say escape pod. Well, look at something else. Look at the next thing. All right, but don't touch anything else or look anything. Well, look at other things, but don't. You understand? Can you see it anywhere? I can't see it anywhere. Uh, tell you what, plug me in and I'll turn the lights on. Let there be light. That's, uh, God is quoting God. Oh, look at that. Turning. Ominus. But probably fine. As long as it doesn't start, you know, moving up. No.

6:10Escape. Oh, escape pod. This is moving up. Okay. Okay, no, don't worry. Don't worry. I've got it. I've got it. This should slow it down. Go faster. Uh-oh. Power up initiated. Okay, don't panic. All right. Stop panicking. I can still stop this. Um. Oh, there's a, there's a password. Okay, it's fine. I've just passed it. Not a problem. A, A, A, A, A. Um. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. Wait, did I do a beep? No. Oh, it's you. You know her. It's been a long time. How have you been? I've been really busy being dead. You know, after you murdered me. You did what? Uh. Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Oh, no, no, no, no. No. Okay. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

7:10Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Okay. Look. We both said a lot of things that you're going to regret. But I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster. I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up. You must really, really love to test. I love it too. There's just one small thing we need to take care of first. Tomorrow. tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. At 6pm. At 8pm. There is the 25th night in ACROSS. On weekends for Taiwanese DISAILS Newco 1200 vehicles are used to get there for the day. Here we are, incinerate her room.

8:17We careful not to trip over any parts of me, it didn't get completely burned when you threw them down here. The dual portal device should be around here somewhere, once you find it we can start testing, just like all time. There it is, hold on. There, good, you have a dual portal device, there should be a way back to the testing area up ahead. Once testing starts I'm required by protocol to keep interaction with you to a minimum, luckily we haven't started testing yet, this will be our only chance to talk. Here, let me get there for you. Do you know the biggest lesson I learned from what you did?

9:20I discovered I have a sort of black box quick save feature. In the event of a catastrophic failure, the last two minutes of my life are preserved for analysis. I was able, well, forced really, to relieve you killing me, again and again, forever. You know if you done that to somebody else they might devote their existence to exacting revenge. Luckily I'm a bigger person than that. I'm happy to put this all behind us and get back to work. After all, we've got a lot to do, and only 60 more years to do it. Or less, I don't have the actuarial tables in front of me.

10:24I'll just move that out of the way for you, this place really is a wreck. But the important thing is your back, with me, and now I'm on to all your little tricks, so there's nothing to stop us from testing, for the rest of your life. After that, who knows, I might take a bahabi, reanimating the dead maybe.

11:53You You