Believe In Yourself When Things Get Hard | EP 012

In this episode, Phil delivers an unfiltered discussion on self-accountability and personal growth. He emphasizes that personal and professional failures are often reflections of one's own actions and mindset, urging us to take responsibility for our lives. Phil shares his personal experiences, from facing business challenges and overcoming emotional struggles to finding strength in hardship and pursuing self-improvement. He stresses the importance of facing your emotions, enduring trials, and continually striving to become the best version of yourself. Phil says we should confront hardships head-on, understand our inherent value, and break free from self-imposed limitations. True change and success come from within, requiring relentless effort, introspection, and a willingness to transform ourselves.

Welcome to The Phil Bohol Show, hosted by USMC veteran, mindset coach, sales expert, self-made entrepreneur, husband, and father, Phil Bohol. On this podcast, we don't just offer strategies — we offer a war cry, a call to arms, a challenge to rise, to break free from the shackles of mediocrity. You’ll learn the raw truth on how to break your limitations, scale your business to 7-figures, and level up every area of your life. Together, we won't just face challenges. We will crush them. Relentlessly.

Timestamps:

(00:53) - The Hardest Thing You’ll Have To Do

(02:36) - Why You Must Face Your Emotions

(05:35) - My Dark Times Early On

(09:54) - Finding Myself As A Marine

(13:02) - How To Look At The Hard Times

(14:50) - How To Get Through Hard Times

(16:42) - The Price Of Success

(18:00) - Create Who You Were Meant To Be

(24:50) - Reprogram Your Mind To WIN

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Transcription:

[00:00:00] If your business is failing, it's not your business, it's you, motherf*cker.

If your marriage is failing, it's not your marriage, it's not your wife, it's you, motherf*cker.

If you don't have a good relationship with your kids, if your money's not right It's not your kids, it's not your money, it's not all of these things outside of you, it is you, motherf*cker.

That's what you gotta understand.

And the faster you realize that, the faster you can make a change.

[00:00:30] What's going on you guys, it's Phil Bohol, and welcome to the Phil Bohol Show, where we have real talk about family, fitness, finance, and everything that would hold you back from leveling up in every area of your life.

And more importantly, how I personally got through them.

Everybody else in this world wants to bullsh*t you.

I'm here to give you the truth.

[00:01:00] Believing in yourself when things get hard is the hardest thing that you're gonna have to do and have to learn how to do every step of the way.

At every level that you achieve in your life, there's gonna be a new test.

You're gonna go through a new trial.

And a lot of people reject this.

They think that, “If I get to this level in my life, then it's going to be easy.”

The truth is, over time, the trials don't get easier.

They probably get harder.

You just get stronger.

[00:01:30] And so there's a lot of people that message me on Instagram, on Facebook, and they say, “Phil, how have you gone through everything that you've gone through in life? How do you continue to persevere through the hard times? How is it that you're able to move forward? Even when nothing is going your way, when you try and you try, you fail and you fail and you take hit after hit, after hit, after hit. How do you keep going when things are so hard?”

[00:02:00] The truth is this life, from my belief system, is designed to test you.

This life is designed to see what you're capable of, what you're made of, because there's nothing else.

It's not money.

It's not career.

It's not building a business.

It's not anything, not even having a family, because being able to have a family requires you to be the best version of you to provide.

But you need to find you.

You need to find who the f*ck you're meant to be.

And a lot of people do not want to face that challenge.

It's so easy to be a f*cking robot.

[00:02:30] It's so easy to say life is happening to me versus this adversity that I'm experiencing is happening for me.

When things get hard for me, you know, there's been a lot of times in my life where things have gotten hard.

Sh*t like, even the past couple months have been hard for me.

I've not only had a newborn, my second, baby girl (#girldad), I've also had a business that's been struggling.

[00:03:00] I have multiple different businesses and there was one business that I had a business partner with, and unfortunately now I'm learning all the lessons of like not f*cking having a business partner, because sometimes people do sh*t without you realizing what the f*ck they're doing that f*cks you over at the end of the day.

And there's hard lessons involved with that and there's different ways I've had to maneuver.

I've had to let go of a lot of great people because those people were brought on board incorrectly.

[00:03:30] They weren't brought on board because of the needs of the business, but instead of the needs of somebody who wasn't a good leader, that wasn't good at doing things for their people, and they prioritize profits over people.

And the biggest thing that I could ever say about situations like that in life or in business is the only thing that you can do is what you can do.

The only thing that's possible for you.

And how to move through that is to take the only next step that you can.

[00:04:00] And some days, you know, when I think about my life, some of those steps weren't like forward momentum that they weren't creating like solutions.

Sometimes the very next step for me was breaking the f*ck down.

Because what happens is, at least for me, I'm such a high performer.

I'm such a positive force.

[00:04:30] And because I've put so much into my personal development, I've invested over 700, 000 into myself, well I mean f*ck, of course I'd try to be the most positive person I can be so I can move through things.

But in turn what happens is I've rejected myself in many ways that caused me to pent up all of this wrath, and I have it tattooed on my body.

I pent up rage, anger, which turns into shame, into guilt, into sadness, into hurt.

And I bottle it up for so long that sometimes what I need, which is probably true for you, and the person that says, “No, that's for f*cking pussies.”

No, you're the pussy.

[00:05:00] Because anybody that can't face their emotions is the weakest form of man.

And I want you to understand, sometimes for me, forward progression means stopping for a f*cking day and feeling whatever the f*ck I need to feel.

Thinking the thoughts I need to think.

Processing through things.

I think a lot of the times, people in this world think that emotions, pain, is weakness.

Pain is the sh*t that got me to be strong.

My weakness are my strengths now.

[00:05:30] Everything that's ever happened to me, has happened for me because now I can serve people.

When I was 10 years old and going through a divorce.

(Not me getting divorced, my f*cking parents, okay smart asses?)

The biggest thing that I had to learn, in that moment, is how not to shatter or how to put back this broken boy and put him back together.

[00:06:00] And that lesson that I learned about the broken boy, I teach to people now, because when I sense hurt and I sense pain, I realize that a lot of people are just adults that are children that grew into adult bodies.

But they're still there, they're still emotionally stuck there.

But the lesson of that, of that has allowed me to serve people.

So I had to go through, go through that.

I had to experience that.

I had to go through that pain.

When I was 11, 12, 13, started stealing.

I had a void I was filling with things.

[00:06:30] I was like, the only thing that could make me feel anything was doing something wrong.

And all of those bad habits, those traits taught me of just what shame can be.

What happens when you go down a dark path?

I didn't have a father figure around that time.

F*ck, I haven't since I was ten.

And so I tried to do things, whether it was for attention, whether it was because I was trying to fill a void, whatever the f*ck.

But now, because of all of those lessons, knowing that that's not how a human should perform.

I know what's good and what's bad.

What's right and what's wrong now.

Most people still don't to this day.

Again, these are things that I had to experience.

And unfortunately, even during those times I got caught, I got put in cuffs.

I had family visiting from the Philippines and on the last day that they were here, they saw me in fucking cuffs.

That taught me something very different about the importance of life.

Realizing that sometimes hardship shakes us awake.

[00:07:30] Sometimes hardship is the thing that we need to finally take ourselves in our life seriously.

When I was 13 years old, I realized that money was very scarce.

It was hard.

It was hard to live.

It was hard to eat.

It was hard to have lunch money.

And what I realized about all of that pain was, for some f*cking reason, all of that pain, all of the bullsh*t that I was experiencing during those times, got my head thinking about, “How can I make money?”

[00:08:00] Because nobody's gonna hire a f*cking 13 year old.

Nobody's gonna give me an actual job, so I have to create one.

So at 13 years old, I built my first business, and it showed me how resourceful I could be, when times are tough.

When I need it, when my family needs it, I will provide.

That was the lesson I learned at 13 years old.

That sh*t didn't happen to me, that happened for me.

It showed me who the f*ck I was capable of being.

14 years old, bought my first f*cking car.

[00:08:30] Cash.

Nobody can say that, not a lot of people.

At least I haven't heard anybody else say that.

And it wasn't to prove anything to anyone.

It was to prove to myself that I could if I needed to.

But getting through those times, I wasn't like, “I'm going to go f*cking buy a car, I'm going to go do this, I'm going to - ”

In my mind, it was, “I need to get through this. I need to figure it out. I need to set my life's work into figuring this f*cking problem out, which was my life.”

And I [00:09:00] went all in and from 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 years old, it was more darkness.

I finally achieved something where I was making more money than most people that were adults, at just 13, 14 years old.

But that was all outside of me.

I wasn't healing the things that were broken inside of me.

And because of that I went through depression, I went through sadness, I wanted to take my life.

I was done.

It was game over for me.

[00:09:30] I got the money, I got the things.

And I was like, “I still feel empty inside. So what the f*ck's the point of all of this?”

Those dark times allowed me now to really appreciate the essence of life.

To appreciate that life is deeper than what most people realize.

People are so caught up in their day to day bullsh*t they forget the value of life.

And those times really allowed me to learn how I value my life.

[00:10:00] And through all of my content, my hope is if you're the black sheep in your family, and you're going through a dark time, you hear these stories, and you realize there's a light for you, there's a light at the end of this tunnel, and it's a dark f*cking tunnel, but you just gotta keep going.

When I went through the Marine Corps, I wanted to die.

That's why I chose the infantry.

That's why I wanted to become a machine gunner.

I wanted to become a machine gunner so that way I can learn how these f*cking people were carrying these massive amounts of weight on their backs.

[00:10:30] Acting like it didn't f*cking mean anything.

Like it was, they were carrying feathers.

How could people be that strong?

I wanted to find that in myself.

The infantry meant that if I go to war, then I could die for a good cause.

Blessing in disguise, they never let me.

I was a top machine gunner.

I got people, I got gunners, I got recommendation letters for me to augment, to go somewhere.

[00:11:00] The bloodlust was so severe I did anything to try to die, nobody would let me.

And I'm grateful for that.

Because if they did, I might not be who I am today.

I might not be married to my wife.

I may not have my daughters.

And it took me a long time to find peace with that because there's a sense of pride and ego in the military.

If you don't go on a combat deployment, then you're not sh*t.

[00:11:30] And again, I had so many issues with my self worth, self value.

I was literally a trained killer, but I got to do nothing with it.

I didn't get to prove anything to myself.

So again, it's another thing in my mind where I wasn't worthy of something.

So for my whole f*cking life, I've been trying to prove something to myself that I am worthy of happiness, that I am worthy of joy, that I'm worthy of f*cking something.

And even wanting to put my life on the line, I couldn't do sh*t.

[00:12:00] I literally broke my f*cking body to be able to get selected for something.

Nothing ever came.

So much comes with that.

Because then you feel like you've never accomplished a mission.

Imagine if you trained for years for the Olympics.

You break your body for it and you never are ever able to actually live out that dream.

And that dream for me, just so you understand, was not death.

That dream for me was not the killing.

[00:12:30] That dream for me was doing something honorable.

But I had to start switching these definitions in my mind that the work that I'm doing on a daily basis, that's what's honorable.

Working on myself on a daily basis, that's what's honorable.

Not giving up, that's honorable.

That doesn't mean that it's going to be easy times.

Through the hardest times, not giving up, continuing to stay committed, that's what's honorable.

[00:13:00] And it took me a long time, even till now, to figure that out.

When we think about getting through the hard times, I don't even think about getting through the hard times.

I ask myself, why am I in hard times in the first place?

Why am I seeing this as a hard time?

Why can't I see this as part of this journey of life?

[00:13:30] Because if you actually start to ask yourself, why you see things from a current lens, from a current perspective, from a current story you're telling yourself, and you're able to dissect the root of it, you're able to dissect why you even feel like that in the first place, versus somebody else who's in the same exact position who sees everything from a positive light.

That's where the gap is.

And if you can solve that, you can solve the inner belief, the story you're telling yourself, and you shift the perspective for something that actually serves you, your entire life will change.

[00:14:00] But if your mentality is, “Let me just get through the hard time right now.”

You're putting a f*cking bandaid on somebody who's bleeding out.

You're bleeding out, and you're trying to fix that with a short term solution.

The only way you're ever gonna fully change your f*cking life Is to commit, is to sit there, and to sew yourself the f*ck up, even if there's nothing there to numb the pain.

Because that's the hardest thing for most people.

[00:14:30] This is why most people give up.

They cannot handle the excruciating pain that they have to endure until they're good to go again.

And they freak the f*ck out.

And they take these temporary steps.

In the wrong direction just because it feels good.

It feels like forward momentum, but the reality is they're just not addressing their problems.

So why aren't you?

Whenever I'm going through a hard time, I spend even more time in reflection.

I spend even more time in prayer.

I spend even more time meditating.

[00:15:00] I spend even more time with my family.

Cause I need the support to stay in the fight for as long as I possibly can.

Because in this one life I have to live, I do not want to get to the end of my journey with regrets.

I want to be at the end of my life knowing I found out who the f*ck I was supposed to be.

[00:15:30] That's why I endure because, there's so many people in this world who regret so much that they did so little when they could have.

And I never want to be in a position where I let things get to me to the point that I didn't get resourceful, I didn't get the help, the support that I could possibly need emotionally, mentally, spiritually, to get through the times to last another day.

I'm all in and you have to be all in.

[00:16:00] If you want to change your life, the rest of your life, you have to learn how to zoom out because this week, this year, this decade is a blip of time in comparison to your entire f*cking life.

But you need to detach from this desire to wanting to achieve the end state right now.

You have to choose that self mastery is the game that you play.

That every day that you want to give up, you find a way not to.

That you find a way to just go one more day.

One more step.

One more try.

[00:16:30] That is how I get through the hard times.

It's one step out of f*cking time.

And there's so many f*cking things that you're gonna have to do to find that version of you.

There's gonna be so many days where you're gonna want to rip your hair out.

You're gonna want to give up.

It's gonna feel like you've given up.

You're gonna crawl on your hands and f*cking knees, praying to God to give you the answer.

But it's never given, it's earned.

[00:17:00] And you have to find a way to stay in the fight long enough to find that answer for yourself.

And the only way you're gonna win is if you X out all the sh*t in your life that doesn't serve you.

And surround yourself with people who think and operate from this place knowing that there is a f*cking massive price you're gonna have to pay to live the life that you want.

A massive f*cking price you're not ready to pay.

You're gonna have to take out all amounts of debt, you're going to have to sell off your sh*t.

[00:17:30] You're going to have to go all the way the f*ck in, not knowing that there's a guaranteed outcome.

All the way the f*ck in, to find yourself.

You have to be willing to sacrifice all of your comfort to find yourself.

And you motherf*ckers that don't think that you got to pay that price because you're some special f*ck, good.

You're going to be that special f*ck at the end of your life that regrets that you said you were somebody that you weren't.

Cause your actions didn't follow the words.

The pretty words that you tell yourself every f*cking day just to feel like the man.

[00:18:00] Versus actually being it.

To get through these times guys, you have to understand, it's one day at a time.

It's learning to understand the gaps in your operating system, your mindset, your emotions, your spiritual awareness, your family, your support systems, how much you're learning on a daily basis to critically think.

To battle plan, to do whatever needs to be done, to get through your own ways, your ego, your pride, all of the things where you're worried about f*cking judgment.

[00:18:30] It all has to be released.

Because that version of you when you close your eyes and you can just imagine, the most sage version of you.

The one that's already won all of these f*cking battles.

They're not worried about the sh*t you're worried about.

They have no time, energy, space for the sh*t that you choose to worry about.

They're worried about bigger and better f*cking things.

[00:19:00] So the question you got to ask yourself is, “How do you remove yourself from the present, that's too weak to move through these things? And how do you operate from the place of the future self, the self that actually serves you, the self that has gone through all of these trials and won?”

Every single day I tell my clients, I don't operate from my current reality.

I operate from my future self.

I operate from the version of me that all of the sh*t that I ever have to experience, from the past and the present, even in the future, that future self dealt with it, succeeded, it's done.

[00:19:30] And what that allows me to do is have a level of emotional control, mental control, spiritual control.

That stronger version of me is the one that I need to listen to, not this.

Even if this vessel that I have right now is strong enough to get through the times, I still don't operate from this place.

Because this version of me is limited to my current experience, but that motherf*cker over there, that's wisdom.

[00:20:00] There are so many different ways to change your entire operating system.

That's why if your business is failing, it's not your business, it's you, motherf*cker.

If your marriage is failing, it's not your marriage, it's not your wife, it's you, motherf*cker.

If you don't have a good relationship with your kids, if your money's not right, it's not your kids, it's not your money, it's not all of these things outside of you, it is you, motherf*cker.

That's what you got to understand.

And the faster you realize that, the faster you can make a change.

And that's the hardest f*cking path.

Most people don't want to take that level of accountability and ownership.

[00:20:30] That their life is a f*cking sh*t show because of their own actions or inaction.

They choose to be a victim, they choose to play small, they choose to be mediocre.

When motherf*cker, the world is asking for your greatness.

The world is asking you to step the f*ck up into yourself.

But you're being too pussy about it right now.

You'd rather believe all the lies and the limitations of the mind.

Then believing in yourself, going all in on yourself, learning how to be the best version of you, that's the hard f*cking thing.

[00:21:00] It's just like looking the best, going to the gym, committing to the life, waking up early, going to the gym when you don't want to, having your nutrition on lock.

That's the sh*t that nobody wants to do.

But the ones who win, they're the ones that earn it, they dedicate themselves to the life.

It's a lifelong mission.

And as long as you don't give up, it doesn't f*cking matter if you accomplish the goal in a day, in a week, in a month, in a year.

In your mind, it won't f*cking matter because you just decided.

It's done.

[00:21:30] However long it takes is however long it f*cking takes.

If I say I'm gonna be successful, God knows when the f*ck that is.

But it will be done.

I've said it, so it will happen.

If you seek on a daily basis to just prove to yourself who the f*ck you are and truly and genuinely mean it when you say it, you will find yourself and through that process of finding self, that's where everything that you've ever wanted actualizes.

[00:22:00] Because that version of you is the person that easily and effortlessly gets all of it.

Do you understand now?

It starts with self.

And by focusing on the self, fixing the self, making the self even stronger, you will create all of the outcomes because you're stronger.

Now you're smarter.

Now you're more wise now.

But if you kept looking outside of you, I want success out here.

[00:22:30] And you forget the work that you have to do in here, all of those f*cking e-breaks that you've been pulling up each and every step of the way.

Motherf*cker, if you don't let those e-breaks down, you're going to be at a halt very soon.

And then everything's going to burn around you.

But if you learn this lesson that I'm trying to gift to you from the lessons I've learned in life, in business.

Your life can change, today.

You can choose to be a totally different person today, right now.

[00:23:00] Or you can choose that, “No, Phil, that's not possible. I'm going to logically override and say that, nope, I cannot be a very different person just because you said I could. Or just because I tell myself I can. There's no way, Phil.”

If you say it, it will be.

If you believe it, it will be.

And that could be something negative, or that could be something that f*cking serves you.

So you can either tell yourself you can't, or you tell yourself you can.

It takes the same amount of energy to do both.

Who the f*ck are you?

Which one are you?

Who are you choosing to be?

That is how you get through the times.

That is how you not give up.

You look inward more.

[00:23:30] You seek the answer within yourself more.

It's not outside of you, motherf*ckers.

It's inside of you.

You just gotta learn how to dig.

You gotta learn how to look inward.

And you gotta learn how to trust yourself, because even if you did look inward and you found the answer, if you don't have that trust, that you're making the right call, that's why your confidence shatters.

In order to get through these hard times, guys, because only more hard times will come.

[00:24:00] In your life, you will go through more hardship.

In your business, you will go through more hardship.

In your marriage, you will go through the trials.

And you have to be ready.

Who you are as a person, you have to be ready.

That's why this entire game is about building who the f*ck you are, so you can create who you were meant to be.

But if you break, it all breaks.

If you break, your business breaks.

If you break, your marriage breaks.

[00:24:30] If you break, your kids will not have a father.

If you break, all hell breaks loose, because you couldn't handle it anymore.

So you gotta realize, this is why you have to fortify yourself, you have to surround yourself with savages, who think at a very different f*cking level, that believe in you, more than you believe in yourself right now.

And I'm telling you right now, the reason why I make this type of content, is because I believe in you, more than you believe in yourself.

Believe that.

[00:25:00] I don't give a f*ck where you're from.

I don't give a f*ck what you've done.

If you're on this path to become the best version of you, for your bloodline, for your family, for you, so you don't f*cking embrace the darkness like I did, I believe you can do this.

I believe you will get through the hard times.

How fast or how slow is up to you.

How much you're willing to commit to change is up to you.

When people say you can bring the horse to the water but you can't force him to drink, this is the time.

[00:25:30] I'm showing you the path.

I'm telling you exactly what needs to be done.

You just need to go out and execute.

Every single day, if you're focused on, “Why am I not executing? Why am I not moving forward in my life?”

And you spend more time reflecting on that, you will find the answer.

The very thing that's holding you back.

And the moment you uncover that weakness in you is the moment you can change it.

Stop trying to find an external answer.

[00:26:00] Start spending more time with yourself.

This is what self mastery is all about.

It's about finding self, the true self, understanding the failure points in self, and fortifying those pieces of you.

Put yourself back together.

The way that you would feel proud to wake up to every single day.

When I wake up as myself every morning, I am proud.

Knowing that I did my f*cking hardest yesterday and I'm gonna do it again today.

Even better this time.

[00:26:30] To get through the hard times, all you need to do is look inside of you and be okay with whatever comes up, take that next step, do it again tomorrow.

And again, and again, and again.

And if you need a soundboard of somebody who understands what the f*ck you're trying to get done?

You stay plugged into this content.

You stay plugged into what the f*ck I'm talking about on a daily basis until you reprogram your f*cking mind.

To genuinely believe it.

Because once you believe you, motherf*cker, just understand your entire world changes.

[00:27:00] The world that you once knew is gone, and you can start creating the life of your f*cking dreams.

It all starts with the mind.

The moment you think it, whether it's good, whether it's bad, you start creating that into your reality.

So you gotta ask yourself, what are the thoughts that serve you, and what don't?

Focus more on the ones that do.

And your entire world will change.

[00:27:30] If you don't believe me now, write it down, be very intentional, and over the course of the next 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, 3 months, 6 months, 12 months, just see how your life changes.

And you let me know in the comments, you let me know in feedback, how your life has changed just from simply changing your thoughts and your beliefs.

Stay savage.

That's the show.