Be Brutally Honest with Yourself | EP 027

In this podcast episode, Phil emphasizes the importance of being brutally honest with oneself throughout life's journey. Using personal experiences, he highlights the dangers of neglecting self-care and the toll it can take on mental and physical well-being, despite outward success. Drawing analogies such as driving from California to New York and the metaphor of eagles shedding their talons, he delves into the necessity of breaking old patterns and identities to reach higher levels of self-mastery. Phil encourages listeners to listen to their inner voice, embrace discomfort, and pursue greatness with unwavering honesty and dedication.

Welcome to The Phil Bohol Show, hosted by USMC veteran, mindset coach, sales expert, self-made entrepreneur, husband, and father, Phil Bohol. On this podcast, we don't just offer strategies — we offer a war cry, a call to arms, a challenge to rise, to break free from the shackles of mediocrity. You’ll learn the raw truth on how to break your limitations, scale your business to 7-figures, and level up every area of your life. Together, we won't just face challenges. We will crush them. Relentlessly.

Timestamps:

(00:42) - Importance of Honesty About Desires and Ego

(01:58) - Balanced Life to Avoid Burnout

(03:19) - The Key Purpose of Life

(05:40) - The Power of Self-Care

(10:59) - Process of Self-Mastery and Shedding Old Identities.

(15:48) - The Layers Towards Your Next Level

(18:33) - Experience Discomfort like an Eagle

(21:30) - Surrendering to Greatness

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Transcription:

[00:00:00] And then what happens is.

Now you have this army of people.

That is literally like, forging on to this next evolution, together.

What's going on you guys, it's Phil Bohol and welcome to the Phil Bohol Show. Where we have real talk about family, fitness, finance. And everything

[00:00:30] that would hold you back from leveling up in every area of your life.

And more importantly, how I personally got through them.

Everybody else in this world wants to bullsh*t you.

I'm here to give you the truth.

Guys, it's so important that as you go through your life, go through your journey, you're brutally honest with yourself.

And what I mean by brutally honest with yourself is knowing what's really you, knowing what's the ego, knowing what's the pride, knowing what it is that's actually calling to you or whispering in your ear right now.

See, when we're not honest with ourselves.

[00:00:30] it's very easy to be unhappy.

When we're not honest with ourselves, and we wear this false armor of motivation, what happens is, on the outside, things can look really good, but on the inside, things can be breaking.

So I'm going to share with you a live example of this.

So as most of you guys know, I'm a pretty driven individual.

I'm all about high performance, I'm all about getting sh*t done.

I'm all about Holding our words to ourselves and our commitments 100 percent.

[00:01:00] Kryptonite to that is sometimes we're so driven by mission and purpose that sometimes we start breaking down the vehicle the vessel to accomplish that mission in that purpose and it's very important that as we learn and go through this process at higher and higher levels were able to stop and slow down and think about.

Where are we dropping the ball because it's 100 percent.

[00:01:30] Okay to live from a place of mission and purpose.

But what I'm finding the longer I go about this because I've had a very good streak for years now.

But what I'm finding is my body is starting to break down.

What I'm finding is my mentality, not my determination, not my motivation, not my commitment.

None of that when it comes to the mind, but just the mental wear and tear. Uh, just being on and driven and motivated. And I think it's healthy to talk about this stuff.

[00:02:00] So when you're somebody like me, you run, you go, you operate, you do what needs to be done.

Because if you don't do it, nobody else is going to do it.

There's no, there's nobody going to save you in this life.

You have to save you.

And whether you meditate, whether you pray, whether you do anything, you're going to be given guidance, but nobody's going to do the work for you.

That's what you got to understand.

So when you're somebody like me.

That operates from this higher level of consciousness when you operate from a place of surrendering to the voice inside

[00:02:30] Whether that's the voice of God, the universe, whatever calls to you.

It's very important that you remember you have to be around for the long term.

So the best way I was thinking about this was to imagine that achieving your purpose in life is like going from California to New York.

In order to get to New York and you're driving, what happens is if you are driving and you go from, you know, let's say the path takes you from California to Arizona.

What if in Arizona, because the roads are different.

[00:03:00] You pop a tire.

What happens if you keep trying to drive with a popped tire, and you're just like, I need to get to New York.

My mission is to get to New York.

But your tire's popped.

How long will that vehicle last for?

You may be as hungry and as driven as you want to be, but what's going to happen is, if you keep driving and operating with that thing that's broken, other parts of this vehicle you're supposed to take to New York will continue to malfunction.

The other tires will pop because now it's not balanced.

[00:03:30] And the more that you go, the more damage occurs.

This is what happens for us in high performance.

We're just like, sh*t it. We'll just get to New York.

Like it is what it is.

The truth is there is a better way.

And I'm mastering this more and more and more because it's different at different levels, but it's also the same at different levels.

The fundamentals are the same.

And so what I found for myself is because I've just been so mission oriented for years now, ever since the shutdown, it's been like an overdrive.

[00:04:00] I've really forgotten.

To just do my standard oil check.

I've really forgotten to take a look at the entire thing, like entirely this vehicle, this vessel that I'm using to get to this, to this end goal, this end state, don't get me wrong.

I spend a lot of time with my family. I, um, I'm going through physical therapy.

I do that weekly, bi weekly, whatever's needed.

I go to the gym.

[00:04:30] I read.

I do all the, all the things right.

So it's not that I'm neglecting myself, but spiritually, my tank has been empty.

And it's interesting because I pray every day.

I meditate every day.

So what's happening is, something's calling me to stop, to slow down for a minute and say, Hey, you might be doing all the things right, but you're not doing a lot of things to make you happy.

And your happiness is also a key element to getting from where you are to New York.

[00:05:00] And so what I found lately was for some reason, my, I have arthritis in my body because of the military and because of a major car accident I was in.

The arthritis in my shoulders have been.

So much that opening some milk hurts me doing this motion right here hurts me like just anything that has to do with lifting and I was I was talking to my therapist and he was like there's a part of me that doesn't believe that the physical things that you're experiencing right now are all physical.

[00:05:30] So what he was alluding to was potentially maybe mental.

So, for example, if these are the arms and the hands that I used to operate all the time.

And now the very thing that's causing me pain is continuing to raise these hands to do more with these hands.

But when's the last time I took care of these hands?

When's the last time I gave, I looked at these hands and actually were grateful for all the things that these hands do.

They carry weights, they work.

[00:06:00] They carry the children, they carry the family, they do everything. When's the last time I've actually spent some time looking at my hands and appreciated what these hands have done?

When's the last time I actually gave my feet a break, got them a massage, for giving me the opportunity to walk to where I want to in life?

What I found because I had this massive sh*ting massage the other day, is I've been neglecting the very vehicle, the vessel that's supposed to help me get to this, this, this point of self actualization and transcendence.

[00:06:30] I've been neglecting the very thing that I need to spend more time on, which is why there's ailments happening in my body saying, well, if you don't want to listen. to this, this voice that's telling you to slow the sh*t down and you have too much ego and pride to stop, then what I'll do is I'll make it so it hurts you.

I'll make it so it hurts for you to lift up your hand so you can type.

I'm gonna make it hard for you to hold your children. I'm gonna make it hard for you to drive so that way you can experience pain.

Because what I'm trying to.

[00:07:00] Indicate to you is that I need you to stop trying to do more right now.

I need you to stop right now.

I need you to like, go check yourself out, go do things to, to, to fix those tires, go get the oil change, go figure out what's wrong with your brake pads, go figure out what's wrong with the engine, go spend some time, whether it's a day, a week or a month, spend time there.

Because if this journey to, to the end state is a lifelong mission, we got to make it to the end of our lives.

[00:07:30]

But what God is calling me to understand now is, well, Phil, if you want to continue on this path, you're not even going to make it to the end of your life because you're just going to wear yourself down, you're going to break your body, your mind down so much that you're going to sacrifice yourself like a sh*ting martyr for literally no reason.

And it's very important that you guys understand you could be crushing it in every area of your life, but if that thing is calling to you that you're not happy, it's very important that you spend some time there because, man, God knows that.

[00:08:00] I needed this.

I needed this like slap in the face to say, Hey, like sh*ting chill for a second when you guys move at high speeds.

I mean, especially if you think about what I've been able to accomplish in just a few years, I haven't even given myself credit for that.

I don't even see that as a major accomplishment.

But to most people, they're like, Jesus, bro.

Like you went from that guy back in 2019 to who you are today.

Damn, that's really awesome.

That's inspiring.

And then when I hear that, I'm like, yeah.

[00:08:30] I mean, we had to do it.

I don't know why anybody's surprised at that.

Like, you gotta do what you gotta do.

But to the world, that's a lot.

To the world, that's impressive.

But again, it's because of this worthiness thing that I'm continuing to work on.

I'm gonna bring you guys along for the ride because I think it's a never ending thing.

It's a never ending journey and experience that you have to go through, which also has to do with why I've probably been neglecting my body.

And so what I've been really focused on the past week is journaling more.

[00:09:00] Praying more, talking with God more.

I've spent more time with my girls, like really just unplugging from the businesses and I've gotten a massage, massive massage that I definitely needed.

I could tell that I've neglected my body because of how much pain it was.

It was a two hour long deep tissue massage, and I can tell that all of those things that I was feeling were not normal.

And especially when it came to massaging my hands and feet, man, I like I almost cried, you know, while I was on the table, because I was like, man.

[00:09:30] I've really been neglecting myself, man.

I've really been like, just just sacrificing myself for the greater good this entire time.

And I have not been taking care of myself.

I was like, Oh, this is probably what happens to people once they are elevated to a point where they're like, they've made it in life.

They're like, Behind the scenes depressed, and I'm like, Oh, I think I can understand how this happens.

Right?

So you have your business, you have all the things that you could possibly want in life.

[00:10:00] And then you find those people off themselves.

And you're just like, Oh, I can see how this can turn into that at one point.

And remember, guys, like, I've wanted to take my life before.

So I understand the feeling, the feeling of emptiness, like the void.

And what I'm realizing now in even the best of times, in the best places you've ever been in your life, That void can still be present, and it's very important to be aware of that because I thought that once you get to a certain level in your life, once you have the business, once you have everything that you could want, I mean, I thought that like it's like nothing could hurt you.

[00:10:30] But the truth is, it's probably harder at this level than it was previously.

I'll explain why.

When you know that you have the car, you have the house, you have the things, like you have like the physical things in life, it kind of, um, it kind of feels weird because you're like, Oh, well, I thought that like this whole game was getting the stuff, achieving these things, achieving these, these thresholds in life.

[00:11:00] So when you accomplish them and you still kind of can go back to feeling internally empty, it's like, Oh, sh*t, like now what now there's nothing to work toward because you're just like, It's just a matter of time.

Like, there's a sense of confidence that you have about yourself where it's like, well, um, I know that I'm going to get there.

It's obvious now that I can achieve literally whatever I say I want. It's just literally a matter of time until my reality catches up to my vision.

So if that's the case, then what the sh*t's the point?

And then you have to like to get back to your driving force and then your purpose expands, right?

[00:11:30] So for example when I first started it was like, oh, I just want to be happy.

Oh, I just want to make sure my family's good.

I want to be able to buy diapers.

I want to be able to do these.

And then now it's like changing the trajectory of my bloodline and it's like Jesus.

So that's a massive thing to say and like to actually mean it and then to live every day to figure out who you need to become to be that person for your bloodline.

You know, some people say it, but are people doing it?

Are people like just literally surrendering to this entire process and like breaking down in all ways and sacrificing their comfort to become who they need to be?

[00:12:00] And I've been going through this process of rebirth the past week.

I don't know if it's because it's my birthday month or what the sh*t's going on.

Um, but there's a lot, there's a lot surfacing right now.

And I'm like, Oh. I see.

I see why I haven't quantum leaped to the level that I'm projecting, right?

So I've taken massive quantum leaps every year, but it's like, there's a part of me that wants to quantum leap 10 X and that 10 X quantum leap requires me to be so sound.

[00:12:30] It's kind of like if you're, uh, let's say that you're going to go to space, right?

Not the astronaut, but the actual, like, spaceship.

If that spaceship cannot handle the pressure of going into space, it will break.

As it tries to, like, number one, leave Earth.

Start shaking like Sh*ting madness and crazy.

Imagine if it starts, like, dropping all of the pieces of metal to it.

It would, it'll explode.

Imagine when it's trying to, like, pass the atmosphere.

[00:13:00] I don't know how it works, but I'm sure there's a lot of pressure involved with that.

Imagine if it couldn't sustain that and it just exploded right there.

It's not a matter of saying, Hey, I'm a spaceship and I'm designed to go to outer space.

You have to be fortified, you have to be really strong.

And so what I'm finding is, as I go through this process of continuing to understand my value and my worth, and like, it's taking the time to take care of the vessel, take care of the body.

It's, Oh.

There's areas of myself that are not strong enough.

[00:13:30] Which is why I cannot possibly take that 10 X quantum leap that's calling to me because it's just like saying, I'm not prepared.

I don't have the fortitude to sustain lift off, but I want to lift off.

So it's like I'm trying to rush lift off when it's like, no, make the ship so strong and so sound that there's no way that it could break or malfunction on the way to doing what it's supposed to do.

And so I'm understanding this process because it's What got me to this level? It's not going to get me to the next level.

[00:14:00] I have to completely change my operating system.

And so, like, hustling and grinding can get you from where you're at to where you want to be 100%.

But to achieve greatness, it requires such a different level.

And that's the level I'm playing at right now.

I'm like, what would get Phil from good to great?

like truly greatness, like where I can truly leave an imprint on this world, and it requires me to really master myself at a whole different level.

And to most people, I've achieved self mastery to to such an extent that

[00:14:30] I can now teach people self mastery.

But the next phase requires so much more requires so much more of the shedding of the self shedding of the things that no longer serve me and shedding the mentalities, shedding the belief systems.

Even shedding the identities, which is crazy because it's like, man, you've already achieved a level.

Your identity has served you like a lot, but now you have to get rid of that identity that got you here for you to create space for the next identity to be born.

[00:15:00] So it's like this whole game, right?

But again, it's it's you have to be brutally honest with yourself with well the reason why I haven't moved forward and again It's like it's like the same lessons that surface at each level It's sh*ting crazy because you're just like I thought I mastered this and then you're just you're just like oh I mastered layer one of that level.

But there's like a million layers to that one thing so even if I've achieved the self mastery.

That was like, I've achieved level one self mastery, level two, level 10, but for me to get to level from level 10 self mastery to level 100 self mastery is going to require an entirely different way of thinking, an entirely different way of living.

[00:15:30] And that's why I want to bring you guys along for the ride.

Because at least with all the lessons that I'm learning, I'm literally taking you from where you're at and like supercharging you to get to where I'm at.

And once you start thinking about things the way that I think about things, all your problems at your level are going to be like, Oh, it's nothing because I'm designed for something greater and then you start.

[00:16:00] Achieving things faster and faster and faster.

And then at some point, everybody's going to be all at the same place.

And we're just like, All right, guys, what the sh*t's next?

We got to get to the next level.

And then what happens is.

Now you have this army of people that are literally, like, forging on to this next evolution together.

And that's what makes life beautiful.

Because the more that I share with you guys what's worked for me, the more you're going to implement a lot of that sh*t, the faster you're going to get to the level, the faster you get to the level, then it's like, alright guys, Now it's like we as a team.

[00:16:30] As an army, as a front, as like a unit, we're going to like to break into this next level of just greatness together.

And I think that's the whole purpose of this, right?

Passing the torch of knowledge, things that worked for us and passing it on to the next person and just continuing to live life every day to master these, these ways of life and ways of thinking. And the more that we pass the torch of knowledge and experience to other people, the more that everybody wins.

And the more that I talk about this stuff, the more clear it gets to me and understanding.

[00:17:00] Where the roadblocks are.

And again, guys, the middle part is the hardest part.

When you start your journey, you're just like, I'm very excited to become this person.

I'm very excited to accomplish these things.

Then the end state is like, damn, I feel proud that I've accomplished all these things.

The middle is a huge part where like, most people break off.

Most people experience all of the hardship of becoming who they need to be.

A lot of people experience the process of shedding.

[00:17:30] And it hurts them so much that they stop because it just hurts.

And they stop digging, they stop peeling back the layers.

I mean, it's crazy.

There was this, um, this thing that I heard about eagles.

When the eagle lives, uh, don't quote me on this.

I might be completely wrong on the age here, but I believe it's 30 years old. I think it's 30 years old or it's 50 years old.

One of the two.

But anyway, halfway through its life and eagles beaks.

[00:18:00] And claws are so damaged from life, right?

Just like the natural wear and tear of life, okay, that what they have to do is because it's so painful to have it, they have to go through excruciating amounts of pain.

And the next evolution for them to, to, to self actualize at the next level is ripping out their claws and breaking off their beak.

Can you imagine that?

Can you imagine in order for you to become the next level version of yourself, you have to, you have to rip out your sh*ting talons,

[00:18:30] And you have to break your beak off?

You know how much pain would go into just clawing at yourself, and then just ripping off your talons?

I don't even know how they do that.

But, in order for them to live the next part of their life, they have to kill the version of themselves that they've been up until this point.

And then they'll grow even stronger talons and then they'll grow an even stronger beak and that's how they live the next phase of their life.

[00:19:00] But if they don't do that, if they're not willing to go through the pain, then they will die in pain because all of these things are broken, just like we've been talking about this entire time.

It's like. It's like fixing up the car.

If California to New York will take our entire life, that car needs to be able to get there.

So just like this, this eagle that's supposed to live for another 50 years, in order for it to live 50 more years, it has to destroy what it's always known, what it's always been.

[00:19:30] And it's the most painful process, and I think that that's where most people break off, because it's like, Jesus, bro, like, you take off one talon, you're like, damn, that hurts so much, I don't know if I can do the rest. But it's the ones that are like, I know that on the other side of all of this pain is the version of me that, that's great, the eagle, that that will fly the highest, that will soar, that will win.

But you have to go through massive amounts of pain.

[00:20:00] You have to become somebody that you've never been and like you have to dig deep to, to endure the pain, the brutality of life.

And I think that's what the process is.

And I think that that's the phase I'm entering right now. It's like, well if, if I know.

That on the other side of the level that I've achieved right now is literally just the rest of my life.

In order to get to that next level, I have to continue to break down all of these things.

I have to break off my beak.

I have to break off these talons that have gotten me to this level in life.

[00:20:30] So that way I can create space and room for much stronger things to grow for me to be stronger than I've ever been.

And it's a painful process because to get to this place in my life where I've really achieved everything I could want, like, if I never got any higher than this level, I would genuinely be happy.

My family would genuinely have everything they could possibly need. Like, we're good.

But there's something about purpose that doesn't matter about you.

It doesn't matter how comfortable you are.

There's something about understanding that your purpose is bigger than you.

Where you're just like, you can't settle.

[00:21:00] Because then you're failing people, then you're basically showing people that that's the lid.

And the whole purpose is to keep showing people what's possible and you have to sacrifice all of your comfort to achieve the most that you possibly can to show the world and everybody else who doesn't believe yet in themselves that they can do it too.

That if somebody likes you can, so can they. And I think that's the purpose.

I think that if we as humans just spend more time pushing ourselves past our perceived limits.

[00:21:30] I think that naturally, like the world, society, humans would hold themselves to such a different standard.

I think that if everybody practiced that, 100 percent of people just were constantly, every single day, pushing themselves to find what they're capable of, what they're made of.

I think that the whole world will be better off.

I think that we'd have people that are more fit. I think that we'd have more entrepreneurs.

I think that we would have better families.

I think we would have lower divorce rates.

[00:22:00] I think that everything, I think everything would be better because everybody's just wanting to be better everywhere.

You look like everybody's trying to better themselves, better their families, better their businesses, better everything.

But that's not how the world works.

It's a lot easier to just be complacent.

So when you have that calling and you're just like, man, I don't know what it is.

And maybe, you know, you haven't been able to break through it your entire life until now.

Maybe there's something that still calls you and you're just like, I don't know what the sh*t it is, Phil.

[00:22:30] There's just something that's calling me to be great, but I haven't been able to figure it out.

And I've been trying for years and I feel like I'm not getting anywhere.

But I have that itch, I have that thing, there's like whispers in the mind every time I pray, every time I meditate, there's like something calling to me.

I just don't know how to uncover it, I don't know how to become one.

When you have that whisper, when you, when you have that voice, just realize it, it's, it's, it's, it's a voice, like it's a real one.

It's not you.

It's the voice of God.

It's, it's, it's infinite intelligence.

[00:23:00] It's the universe.

Whatever you want to call it, it's calling to you.

So the question is, are you going to listen to it and finally surrender and submit to who you need to become?

Put pride, ego, shame, guilt, all of the sh*t that, that just are holding you back, are you going to put all of that aside?

Get on your hands and knees and just surrender to what it is that's calling to you.

And then as soon as you understand, as soon as you hear everything that needs to be done to then take action on it.

[00:23:30] No matter how much it hurts to break off all of your talons and break off your beak and just all of these things.

Are you willing to do that?

At least for me, I can't not do that.

I can't go back to a normal life.

I can't go back to a life where it's just going to a nine to five job and just sh*ting doing nothing significant with my life.

Like, I think that's why it's called life's purpose.

I can't stop.

I don't know about you, but when I'm not going after my purpose.

[00:24:00] When I'm not living from that place, no matter how scary it is, no matter how much it hurts to keep breaking this sh*t off and breaking off the beaks and just continue to evolve and level up, it's And ask myself, well, why am I choosing to do this?

Why am I, why am I choosing to continue to do this when I could just settle?

The truth is it's because I'm not choosing it.

It chose me just like it's choosing you.

We don't choose these things.

It chooses us.

And it's up to us to say, I'm going to listen to the voice.

[00:24:30] I'm gonna, I'm gonna, if I'm getting called to do something great, I'm going to lean into it and be great no matter the price I have to pay.

And that price is everything that's comfortable to you.

And again.

If you know you're gonna pay that price, you have to make sure that vehicle is good.

You gotta make sure you're good.

And again, it's just brutal honesty.

For us to be great, we always have to be honest with ourselves.

We always have to make sure that if we need a day, we take a day.

If we need a weekend, we take a weekend.

[00:25:00] If we need a week, we take a week.

If we need to cool off a little bit instead of pushing, and like, instead, we're just being, and we just need that for the season, then B. Don't push, don't do, just be.

And when it's time to push again, again, getting back into the rotation of things, and pushing, and driving, and um, learning how to hear these voices, hear these, um, it's like the GPS, right?

It's telling, it's like, as you're maneuvering through life and in business, something will call to you again.

[00:25:30] Take that left.

Take that pivot.

Go do that thing.

And you just have to trust that voice of God.

You gotta trust that voice.

You gotta trust that it's guiding you in the right place. And, um, again, you might not see the fruits of your labor for a while.

And it's just continuing to have faith. It's continuing to just move. And if you're just, I believe, more honest with yourself, just like I'm learning to be even more honest, because I'm a pretty honest guy, you know?

So I'm just like, damn, I can be even more honest that, like, these little things don't make me happy.

[00:26:00] Oh, I need to spend more time with self care.

Okay.

I didn't, I thought that was not a thing right now.

I think, I thought I just had to keep pushing.

But again, I've never been at this level.

I don't have people to really tell me what I'm supposed to do or not do next.

So it's like you have to learn through trial and error what works and what doesn't work.

And that's how you attain wisdom, just going through the process, but as being hyper aware and not just going down a Sh*ting rabbit hole of darkness.

That's what self mastery is. It's actually mastering self through trials and through failures, which is, again, why I'm sharing these stories with you now.

[00:26:30] So that way you can see in real time what that looks like.

So anyway, guys, be brutally honest with yourself.

Where are you at?

Are you good?

Are you happy?

Are you not?

Are you, and I'll play devil's advocate, are you just being a bitch?

Like, what's the thing?

Because there's truth to that, and I can say that because I've been that.

Where it's like, oh, I just need rest. But if I was being brutally honest, I also didn't put out. For me, when I'm like.

[00:27:00] I need rest, it's because I'm being brutally honest.

All I do is put out, and I never take a break.

So don't just say, I need a break, and then not play devil's advocate with yourself and say, but do you really?

Or, do you actually need to push more, and that's how you'd be brutally honest with yourself, that you could've given more.

You're only gonna know that.

Nobody else is gonna know that.

The truth is inside of you, and that truth will set you free, once you're honest with yourself. Alright?

So, that's what I got.

I really hope that whoever needs to hear this message, hears it.

[00:27:30] Downloads it, and applies it.

Because it's um, it's a very interesting path that we're all on, at whatever stage you're at, whatever level you're at in your journey, it's a very interesting path that we're on, achieving purpose.

And again, it's a lifelong mission, so don't feel in a rush to get there.

You gotta get there first. Peace guys.

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