A Funny Walmart Story

0:00What's up guys? It's Zero for hire. This is the Zero for hire podcast. I was driving and I was like, Oh, I have this My you know, I think is a funny story But I don't want to like have the camera like you don't need to see my face When I tell the story you can just listen to the story and you can't do that on Facebook because it doesn't let you You can't do audio. It's got to be a video You know, so and then I was like, oh, yeah, that's right. I have a podcast and that's why you subscribe To hear my dumb stories. So we've already got that established. So this is cool is perfect platform for this So I'm at Walmart. Oh, okay, I left because I'm building a Nass in a S I don't know what those letters stand for in a S. I'm building a Nass It's like a networking thing. It's basically like Internet for my house, but I Build an input all the files. Is that is that good? Like if you had your own internet? What would you put on it?

1:03Actually, yeah, I'll put that in the comment if you had your own internet what would be on it? So that's what I got And actually now that I think about it like that man, I'm gonna fill up some hard drive space I really need to dial that idea. I'm having right now back. I'm just gonna abort this idea. Okay, so Nass a Nass And I got everything I need except for a USB-C hub, which is something I've been needing a dock essentially, so what happened was I was already going in the direction of the Nass I was collecting some stuff for it. I got a router I had a roco stick and I have a CRT TV and I bought a bunch of crap to connect what I already had it because I'm the person that has like dongles and connection Wires from the 80s and stuff. I'm really coming into my own as like the tinker or type guy I'm just I'm embracing it now. I always have and so I got all these wires and connectors and dongles and crap in the box in my storage space

2:05And I was like, yeah, I like to have a CRT TV But you can't run that to HDMI without a bunch of connections. So that's what I did and so I got a roco I was like wouldn't it be cool to watch YouTube on an old CRT TV? I think I already told that story once why is this guy driving so close to me? It's gonna be a problem So I I got everything in long story short. I needed a dock because it's like a power station You plug multiple things into it. It has a job a specific job And I got a little handheld PC, you know gaming PC It is literally a handheld be its windows in my hand, but There's some frustrations that I might get into a different day and I wanted to Just dock it and use it that way and then I could like take it off the dock when I want it to be portable or whatnot And I was like well if I'm gonna do that then I might as well just use it as the server for my NAS This is perfect and I'm looking and I got all these things and I got these ideas about how I'm gonna put it together

3:09It's like ah crap. I need a power station. I need a dock So I go to the next town over Harrison and they have all these discount stores And there's one store in particular where they bought they have like all these obscure Electronics every time I go in there weird obscure audio visual electronics So I'm really starting to warm up to this but sometimes it's analog sometimes it's digital It's in that it's in that buffer between like 1995 and 2015 type of tech Great stuff. So I go in there and boom there it is right on the shelf USB and it's and it's like half off what it would normally be Because there can be kind of expensive So I'm like perfect. This is exactly what I want it I'm in that place never fails to go in there. So I go I get the dock I just paid off my credit card at the beginning of the year so that I could do stuff like this So like when in the middle of the week I have a big project that I'm like this is gonna be worth it I just need you know, I like to put it on my credit card

4:12And then I'm like well, I need to get Some uh pot roast and some meat to grow because I need to get back on the on the meat diet So I can you know health reasons and stuff So I go in there and this is like turning into like one of the worst trips to Walmart Like just I don't know what it is like everybody's got this stupid look on their face like everything And like This is kid. He's like screaming. He's literally And like I'm thinking eventually she's gonna get mad and just take about this trip. Nope. Nope All throughout the store the entire time And I got so annoying That I'm just like I don't know how much longer I can listen and that's when I notice There's like this guy. He's got a dog in his car And then there's this guy in a wheelchair and he's got a dog in his lap Which is extra messed up because it's like you're already in a wheelchair

5:12Now you got to use one of your only two free limbs To hold a dog You know just when I say they have a dog in the store It's not like a dog like my dog like a you know like a big floppy muppet or what it's like a little this little They're like these little Things they have these little like bird feet and just shaking because they don't have any fur and or else frail They look like scared dinosaurs With fur on the top of their head Big eye and just looking at like help me like they have no agency of their own. They're just like these little frail shivering lap dog Lap lizard things there and they're not even cute. That's the other thing if it's a cute dog I'm usually fine. These are not they are shivering. They're in the meat section. They already don't have fur or sweat Shivering in me. So that so I'm looking at that and I'm just and it's like every other aisle that I go to there's another person with a freaking Little weird mutant dog that tripled up and just you know polluting the place

6:16And so I'm like, okay, I'm I clearly came to Walmart on cycle day, which doesn't like every day, right? So I get all my stuff And I'm just picking stuff out my wife X made it gets a couple things and low and behold I walk past this freezer and There is a slab of meat beef in the freezer It's the size of my mattress And I'm like what So I got I'm like, okay, obviously this is more than I can find. I just have to know how much this cost So I go over to the giant slab of meat that's the size of my mattress And it is not out of my price range. It's actually quite affordable Less than what I thought it was going to be because I'm looking. I'm like this is clearly going to be like a hundred and thirty 175 dollars. Nope. No, no, not at all Very very very reasonably priced. I might go back later and get more um And I remember my wife was sending me these like videos of a guy that he was taking a big piece of meat like this

7:18And he made like 11 steaks at 17 things and you just had this whole and it looked like it looked like multiplied Like the story of Jesus with the fish and the bread It was like he started with a brisket and then at the end of the video He didn't even have any table left So I was like I could do that. I could do like the fish and the bread thing and then this is reasonably good So I take a picture of it and I said it to my wife and I don't hear anything right away So so then I'll put my hand on the meat because you know I have pretty big hands and I'm like Maybe if she sees how big the meat is in context of my hand And I said and that instantly works. So she's like, yes, that's a great idea. Let's do that. We'll eat off of this for two weeks easy So I get to meet and I'm just walking up and down and I'm Feeling great and I get to you know the rest of the grocery whatever I go to the checkout and the kid is still screaming So I'm just like, okay, you know, this is not gonna ruin my day. I don't care about the dinosaur dogs I don't care about the screaming kid. I put my my headphones on and I'm listening to billbird And I go to the checkout

8:18And this woman is Like she walks in front of me to get to the aisle before me to get to the checkout before me I'm you know, okay, that's fine. I'll go over to the next checkout And I go to the next checkout and then I'm looking in the freezer to see if they have a drink that I want And as I'm looking in the freezer The same lady walks in front of me to go in front of that checkout because she realized it was there was no line I'm just like yeah, how could her so I got I also switch back to where she was and I finally get to the checkout And I check everything out and I go to pay And I take my card and I put it and I go There's no tap on this machine And the girls set something and I don't know what she said because I still had the thing going on my ears So I take I hit pause and I said what and she goes This is not that fancy of a place sir And like the moment just hit me a little harder than it should have and I was like And I said this out loud to her I said to the girl Of all the places for someone to make that statement

9:21Audibly Where I can hear it This is not the place I was expecting that for that to happen. So thank you for elevating my experience Between what you just said and this giant slab of meat. I'm having a great day