9am Hour - That's Heinous

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4:02I don't want it either. No, get it. It's like we're, it's just some, it's just times spring won't come. It's like, okay, win a spring. It will come eventually, maybe not on your schedule. Okay. We have a dilemma. We're not sure whether to do monsters, the pot or the daily Bailey. Oh, do Vaughn, because Bailey, it's women's history much. It's women's history. I'm going to leave it up to you. Text me your vote. Would you rather hear the daily Bailey or monsters, the pot? It's up to you, send in a text at KDWB1, 53921 and let us know wish you'd rather hear. I know you love both of them, but maybe you're more in the mood for Vaughn today. I know I am. I'm real tired of Bailey. I've sat across from, I love Bailey. I've sat across from her looking at her for the last four hours. I've had enough. We need a drink. I need a drink. I need a drink. Okay. Send me a text and we'll do one or the other. Bailey on the Dave Ryan show 101.3 KDWB. We didn't know whether to do monsters, the pot or the daily Bailey here.

5:06So we said vote. So people text it in and we have a verdict. Yes. The answer is the pot won by just two votes. Two by your towners. Wow. Okay. People love me. Let's do it. Thank you. I'm not endorsing it, but I will say your boy has bought an article of clothing once or twice before worn it out and then returned to the store. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Fine. I will say I had the intention of returning it too. So I made sure when I wore it out, I kept the tag on it. Was that at my birthday party? No, it was not. No. Yes, actually. Yes. We were like this glittery. I wore like a glittery blue suit jacket. Okay. So then more than one occasion for this show, I have definitely bought outfits and then returned them after the fact. You terrible. Terrible. I'm not endorsing it, but I mean the store took it back. So I mean, clearly it's okay. So then how are you stirring the pot? I'm saying that he's done it. Yeah. I've been saying that it's okay. Yeah.

6:06People don't condone. I don't condone it. Is it okay to do it? No. But I'm telling you, I did it. Sometimes you need to test out an outfit. You need to, you need to, you had no intention of testing out the outfit. You were renting the outfit. Yeah. There you go. So I rented it. There you go. So free. Because then you return to you, you get your money back. Like Bailey's thing. I was never going to wear that. It was like a blue sequin coat. I was never going to wear that again. So I bought it. No, without attitude, you wouldn't. I bought it and I kept the tag on it. I think I tucked it in my back pocket during Bailey's whole party. And then I returned it on Amazon. And the good thing about Amazon or just some other places, they'll take it back without even questioning it. How dare you? You just got to be very careful. You don't get any stains on it. Big stores, Amazon, they can afford it. Come on now. Well, Amazon is like just the hub. It's not necessarily the store itself. I've also done it at actual stores. Yeah. They can afford it. You my kid sit here and judge you, but I've done the same thing. Not you really. Not necessarily in the same way. But when I was very young and I was working as a part-time producer on Cities 97, they

7:12used to do the sampler party and I bought a dress for it, wore it. And I like, a week later, noticed that I hadn't taken the tags off of it. And I was like, hmm, hmm, hmm, what is that I returned this? Yeah. Everybody. I did. I did return it. Everybody pretends that they don't do it. You or if you haven't done it, you know somebody that's done it. It's like test done. I know. I know you. It's like test driving the car. You just got to see how it feels out on the road. Yeah, but with your test driving the car, they realize that you may not buy the car. When you buy a jacket over a coals and you wear it, they're expecting you to either enjoy it and keep it or if you don't enjoy it, then you bring it back. Like I said, I'm not endorsing it, but let's just say, let's just say after the party, I realize, oh, there's not much sweat on this, but if I buy like a hundred twenty dollar jacket, we're at ones to a wedding or a boo bash, hypothetically, and return it.

8:14I think it's smart budget. See, you're the reason that nobody wants to buy things off Amazon anymore. I'll never forget when I bought a lipstick and it had clearly been opened in years. I remember that story. Lipstick is crazy. No. Lipstick is crazy. That goes on your lips. No, no. No. Yeah. But you're sweaty, sweaty. Listen, I tried not to shop on Amazon too much for clothes, but I have bought a few things before where I'm like someone's worn this, like I've gotten it. I'm like Someone has definitely worn it and if I didn't care, I didn't care. I was like, Yeah, whatever. I like it. I don't want to wait for another one to come to the mail. Look, just people where it's in me. Somebody texted and said, I bought a tag gun on Amazon. So I can put tags back on things and return them. That. That's the reason. Wow. That is brilliant. Oh gosh. funny how many people are just proud of being scammers, you know what I mean? It's like people are, there's no pride and integrity anymore. It's like, I'm proud of what I got away with. And I don't do it religious, like I don't do it often. But just a couple of times I've

9:14been had events and I've been like, I don't think I'm going to need a need this and I could use the money. The next event we go to Bailey and I are going to make you strip down and then we're going to purposely take the tags off of it. Yeah. So you can't turn it. You'll be like, no, no, you're going to keep it $1,000 on this. Somebody said via text message. I know people that did that when I was in high school. I'm 62 now. They would go to the store, pick out a prom dress, leave the tag on and return it after prom. That's another great example. No, that's so gross. Think about how much dancing you're doing at prom. You're not just sweating a little bit. You're like infiltrating the fiber of that dress, but you're sweat. Reduce, reuse recycle. You can cut the dress up and wash it and then do something to know if it. And then women's trash is another man's treasure. There's no reason that prom dress should be used once and then sit in your closet till you decide to die. Well, they don't buy it. Yeah, don't buy it. Get a cuter one. Why do you need the slinky one with the slit for the legs? They said the same thing about wedding dresses. Yeah, but it's your wedding. It's prom. You get one. Here's a text message. It says, oh my God, long ago I worked at Dayton's, which is the big was the big department store here.

10:19In juniors and so many people tried to do this and we didn't have to take it back. I had a person try to return 10 year old guest jeans. I knew they were that old because they coded the year in their jeans. Geez. And somebody brought it in and they probably would have brought to their friends. Look at what I did. I took back 10 year old jeans. Someone did text saying saying that Jenny also rented a microwave. Quote, quote, rented. What do you do? I've said that I've done that before. Yeah, what's the story? Costco lets you return pretty much anything. Like they have a very open return policy. I bought a microwave because the one I needed wasn't getting shipped for like a month and to live without a microwave is kind of hard. Right. So I got one from Costco and then I returned it when I didn't need it anymore, but you used it and then returned it. You monster genius. Costco's return policy is very different though. You can do a lot with Costco's return policy and I would argue that you can go look at that online if you want. I mean all the return policies allow you to return. Well, most of them return to allow you to. It's just morally

11:21like what you used it. So why should you return it? I think it's a more of a moral thing than whether you're allowed to see a bad morals. Both of you. Jenny and Vaughn. Yeah, you guys. Dave and I are the only ones going to. I don't want to get into it. I seriously don't. I just I don't want to sound like I'm the preachy moralistic one because I got a lot of flaws, but I don't know. I just kind of like you do. Actually, I have a list. Yeah. Dandruff. I see dandruff is on there. Yeah. Okay. Is that part one or part two? This is part one. Yeah. All right. Dumb. Okay. We are. Dave's dirt next like KDWB. Catching you up on things going on. Let's get started with Dave's dirt on KDWB. Britney Spears thinks her former manager or former assistant thinks that her DUI arrest was a set up. Okay. Let's listen. We all think it's a push to put her back in a conservator's ear because guess what happened when the

12:23conservators should stop people stop getting money. Okay. Okay. So I think it's a fix to put her back into a conservatorship so other people can benefit. I don't know how you set that up. I mean, do you go, Hey, Britney, have some pills and booze and go out for a drive. Yeah. Let's, let's, let's put you in a vehicle and then call the cops and say, yeah, there's a brand like whatever car on the, you know, the 101. I don't, I don't have no idea. Every episode from season four of the secret lives of Mormon wives is now streaming on Hulu alongside the first three seasons. And the only reason I'm a little interested in watching any of that is because one of the main girls from at her name's Taylor. She's going to be the next bachelor at which they haven't grabbed someone who wasn't on like a previous bachelor or bachelor at season to be the bachelor or bachelor at since like the beginning. So I'm very curious about the season and Taylor is dramatic on that show. So if you haven't watched the secret lives of Mormon wives and you want some juicy reality tea, that's a good one. More tea for you is that at Red Bull at Red Bull

13:27at holiday station stores, you can get Red Bulls. Two for six dollars right now are three for eight, 50 Dave was talking about being tired a second ago. You need to go hop on this cold is like, I don't know if it's a special breed of cold or what, but this cold hit me a week ago tomorrow. And it's just now starting to let go. It's like, oh, yeah, Harrison Ford was on Jimmy Kimmel the other day talking about his show shrinking. And I don't know how it got brought up, but he Harrison Ford admitted to doing the love in to some of his movie soundtracks. Right. He says, of course I have. So now I just want to know which one he did not to clarify which one, but then also makes me think, David, you ever just turn on the old I heart radio app, hit on one of the podcasts. So you can listen to you and then do

14:30the love itself. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, we like that was a good joke. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Good. Next. Nicole Kidman has a new role in Scarpetta. And apparently she had to learn to do a full on procedure for the role. What did you learn? How to do all know our tops. Are you serious? Yeah. All the organs and what comes out first and how you how you contain them. And we know how to pick up the scalpel. We know we know exactly what we're doing. And that takes a lot of time. I'm going to tell you she did not learn how to do an autopsy. There's no way that you sat back there and learn how to do an autopsy for an acting role. For the right money. Why would you learn? No, she's, I think she's lying. She probably like watch somebody do an autopsy. There's no way she was taking out the hearts alone. That's probably what she means by saying. Well, she's claiming she learned to do one. Jennifer Lopez says that she's in her happy era. Oh, well, this is good news. I'm free. I'm on my own.

15:31And it feels really good. I didn't really know what that felt like since I was in my early 20s. And even before that, you know, I always had a boyfriend. There was always kind of like someone in my life and so many other things that I felt like we're out of my control. And she's also this is the better time about the aftermath of her divorce from Ben Affleck. Here's JLo. I was just at a point where I was just like, what is going on with you? Because I could have blamed anybody else because I don't think that that's where the lesson is. And so I really wanted to figure myself out. All of America was just in here with SpongeBob. Yeah, it was so cool. We were also excited. We were literally like little kids when SpongeBob came in. And so I guess basically, I just want to suggest this as the ultimate spring break destination. Oh, girl. So they're introducing a new digital trip plan and experience. And you can plan your

16:35experience at Mall of America. So you're going, well, what do we want to do for spring break? Well, first of all, there's attraction bundles. And there's different things that you can do. If you go to MallofAmerica.com slash spring, you can follow one of their expert made itineraries or build your own customized plan. And you can find it all on MallofAmerica.com slash spring. Everything from character appearances to the slime cart. There's just so many different things. And you forget how much there is to do at Mall of America. And you know, because you know, I measured one time. Yeah, took a ruler out there. 5.6 million square feet. Wow. Two words work. I thought it was nice and warm in there too. It's like you're on vacation, even though you're in Minnesota at home. Did you know there is no apparently no heating system in the middle of Mall of America? I feel like that's got to be a wives tale. No, it's not. You can Google it. I knew that also from working at bubblegum. It's very true. Very nice.

17:38I've just like that Dave decided to match with SpongeBob today. Yeah, you're both very young. He also was quite disappointing when he started singing the SpongeBob theme song. Yeah. SpongeBob was not happy with it. Well, nobody remembered the lyrics. And I was the first one to remember him. Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. SpongeBob Squarepants. Absorb it in yellow and purses. He's SpongeBob Squarepants. Not a cold nonsense. He's something you wish. SpongeBob Squarepants. And drop on the deck and stuff like a bitch. SpongeBob Squarepants. Okay, we get the rest of it. And I messed up the lyrics and SpongeBob wanted to slug me. He died anyway. He was throwing hands. If you're looking for something to do for a spring break and you're going, I don't really want to spend the money to go down to Key West or whatever. Go to MallofAmerica.com slash spring. And they got some great ideas to spend a day or several days at Mall of America. And we are taking off. I'm going to go take a fat nap. Yeah, you need one. We'll see you tomorrow here on KDW. This is Chelsea handler from deer Chelsea. After the big

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