977 | Apparently We Had More to Say… Part 2

0:00If you have ever listened to own your choices on your life, this is a moment that I do not take lightly. This podcast started with one voice, one mic and a phone, and the decision to share stories and help people to recognize that they were not alone in their own journeys. Now we are very close to celebrating 1,000 episodes with a live in-person podcast event. If this show has ever shifted your thinking, helped you find your voice, reminded you of what is possible. This room, this live event is for you. It is intimate, it is small, it is March 21st in Kitchener Waldo, Ontario. If you are nearby, we would love to have you there. I can't wait to celebrate with you. Welcome to the own your choices on your life podcast. I know you are here wanting

1:00to change and rewrite your story. You are desiring to step into the impact that you know you were here to create. I am here to guide you with the proven tools and strategies used by myself and our speakers to support you in taking radical responsibility in your life and learning how to own your choices to change your story. My name is Marsha van Winsburg. I am a storytelling business coach, master NLP trainer, speaker, podcaster and seven times publish author. My clients have found freedom and purpose from overcoming their shame stories and learning how to share them with the world. I am so grateful you are here. Let's get started. Welcome back to the show. This is an unplanned part two of myself and Sue talking about all

2:01things publishing. When we finished the episode, we realized that there were some key pieces that we still wanted to share. Here you go. Here's part two. We found there's a piece of editing that we didn't really share and the piece of the process of working with the authors that I think we do differently. It's not just about the story. It's in my thought process. It's like how can that author shine in their story? How can we see more of them? It was just recently working with one of our collaborative authors and some of those conversations are some of the hardest to have because I have to speak in a sense of like we have to make some changes and we make changes not because it's not good enough but because it could actually be better. If there's so two different things and I know that we're not shining enough of the story of the author. I want them to shine. I want them to shine in to come across. This one in particular was not an easy conversation to have

3:04because I don't ever want to hurt anyone's feelings. I'm not ever coming across that way. But I knew that there was a way and it took a lot of going through it. We actually had to get on a call to break it down and see what the points and the intention were and something that was kind of a bomb dropping came out in our conversation and I was like that actually has to be including your chapter and all of a sudden it's like it cracked it open and we saw it differently and realized that there was some very key missing parts to her chapter that we wanted to share and that's all part of you know editing and helping to bring that story to life. Yeah and if you hadn't gone through that process that discovery might not have come through and so and now it's going to be the most powerful element of her chapter. It is 100 percent. Yeah I was working with one of the other authors as well and her story. It's different when authors could have never written before yeah published before and and we you know talk about

4:12just speak it out. Sometimes you record it and you transcribe and then you pull what you want and and then that's when you you write it and make sense of it and organize it. So I think that's what she did because it sounded like she was talking in it but from a reader's perspective you don't want to be reading something where it feels like they're talking at you. No. Right and so that was one of the things that the developmental editor was able to do. She was able to change the writing but keep the same ideas same point same everything same tone even but switch it from in a different tent so that when you're reading it you just feel like you're engulfed in the story and so I met with this author she knew it was in developmental editing but she's never gone through it before and so I didn't share it with her before our call because I was like I need to talk to her about it first because I don't want her to think like oh this is like totally rewritten because it was it is rewritten but just in a way that it is more

5:19impactful to further reader but keeping the same ideas and the same tone and everything so sharing with her that like you can reject all of this if you want like if you read this and you're like nope that's not me fine that's fine really wars you know you get to yeah you get to you get to choose but and even if you like certain parts pull those parts out and whatever like make it how you want it is your chapter so framing it in that way to her and in all those elements like you know maintaining the tone just creating a little bit better of a reader's experience of her story um I think help her to understand the process because she's never been edited before and I know in hearing other people's experiences with other publishing projects it could feel offensive right like if there were come and we experience that in our first book

6:21where things were edited and our authors were kind of mad yeah in that process like we weren't involved in any of the backend stuff at all so we kind of had to deal with it on our own and that that was a hard part but if we have control over that in terms of the process now and the editing and it's really nice so the client you're talking about and then the one I'm talking about for them to shift their perspective and whatever it is that they're thinking right and it's just really cool to witness that and love you said that because I forgot how much stories were changed in our first book I do if I mean it was just it was interesting because it's like I have actually have people saved to me like do I have to change my story in order to publish it and I think this is an important question because no you don't I mean I will be honest if you're telling a story from the lens that doesn't serve you best I will be honest and tell you that I will because I want you

7:24to look the best possible if you're telling it from a lens of like angry frustrated pointing fingers blame judgment all these pieces I'd be like I'm not interested in that and I don't want to do it it's yucky to a reader to read it and we've done like we've had to do that and yeah change thing for some people but yeah this is the part of the process it's it's important to share and I mean it's just it's a piece of it because I do think we're also here trying to like we're learning and we're educating people on what the process is like when you're writing and publishing your book because I just want to see more people do it I want to see like I said 82% want to rate it less than 1% actually do those are like wicked numbers I love I said earlier about this is going back to when you were talking about outsourcing support for certain parts of your business this is how I feel about the publishing process when it comes to editing like you and I are not

8:25book editors no we're not we go through every project we can identify gaps we can identify what needs expansion we identify what needs to go because a lot of times there's a lot of removal of things yes because you just said like we don't need to be sharing at all and especially if it's coming from like a negative place so you and I we definitely screen everything but it's so nice to have editor who are so great because I don't want to do that that is hard for me is to edit I can be like oh I think she should take this out with her oh I think she could expand on this oh we need a bridge paragraph in here it seems broken like I can do all of those things but an editor's job whether it's technical or developmental like it's a skill and I even reached out to one of my girlfriend who could be a potential technical editor for us in the future just to

9:30like put it in her ear she's like oh yeah I mean I don't like my job that I have right now and I was like yep I think with the foundation we're going to be able to grow in ways we can't see yet I really do and I do and I feel like it's going to be a collaborative a true collaborative approach you collaboration I think every part of my business is literally build on collaboration in the most beautiful way and that also in all fairness there's a lot of times I did collaboration in the beginning that was not a great fit I you have to learn through the process and the people that I do work with now there's years of rapport years of rapport and connection built in every piece that I do with collaboration now isn't it so cool to feel a bigger sense of alignment with people who we're working with and who we have in our circle I feel like at this point whatever February 2nd 2026 feels the most aligned yeah on all angles I would agree actually

10:36I have not felt this level of it doesn't mean we don't have hiccups it doesn't mean we don't have challenges we it's not that at all but the alignment piece of like even some difficult conversations being able to like you with me me with you and like having to do those things and sometimes being called out on things that it's like all right I'm gonna make and the problem again like I'm doing that and I recognize those things but that's a beautiful thing about collaborating we start to connect and we can see like I can't see all those blind spots on me own none of us can no no you guys called me oh yesterday and I'm so grateful because I got off my call and was like okay like I needed all of that so proud of you did the bad the ugly I'm so proud of you we were in a mastermind call yesterday and I could feel it and as I'm watching you and I'm like okay I could see a process and that's exactly what was happening that's a very beautiful room I'll tell you right now like the people that are in it in that mastermind is it's beautiful but they pour in they call

11:42out because they care and they want to see you rise yeah it's like I don't know if it feels like a really good crew that we have very much so very very much so yeah it's just it's really special so I love that you had that moment of like okay you're still a fire sign and the point where I was like oh she's gonna lose her shit she's got she I know I'm just I'm really the I haven't been in a mastermind or coach and I know myself I stay silent I don't share everything and I shared everything like even getting on the call when everyone was like I'm about energized to be here I was like I'm tired like I got to tell you the truth because I'm not gonna waste time being fake here I got I need to keep it real so I'm becoming a little bit more like you in that scent now like a little bit blunt and unapologetically honest I look at my life like it's and like

12:49I'm losing people and that's fine this has been a time coming for you and how does it feel oh yeah like it's been a time coming for you it's in you a hundred percent like I wouldn't even be wouldn't be working together if it wasn't in you it's in you that that fire that that voice the message the you know boundaries in place speaking for what you want I can see it coming up I can't it's bubbling and I love it yeah I think with my head for so long but I still continue to hide but I'm just I'm middle age now I don't have time for any bf like it is I call it like I see it all the time and I tell you there's something about age like honestly I can't remember who said it it was just recently they're like when you're in your 40s I can care less about what other people think you hit this point where it's like I actually why I used to care about that and the else in here 50s you're like I don't give a shit about what people think like it's just I just

13:49don't care anymore it's so interesting how it is so I'm 70 yesterday and they were going through it and they're like we know this person is saying this and sharing this and putting this out in content doesn't that upset you I'm like who cares put your head down just don't I don't who cares literally I like beat like put the blinders on and speak because everything and I'm saying this for myself I can fall into those pieces of comparison to much less than what I used to look at I do think that's per age but way less than what I used to but it's like I look at and go that's energy I don't miss or even put it right now you don't want to put it there totally yeah there's like a tangent yeah it's just like wasting time if you're hearing what other people are unless it's like you know I look at your staff and I'm like oh yeah like this is good I should do something like that and then I don't but I'm not like upset because someone posted something that I disagree with or whatever it's like I don't even care like no I actually like to grow away

14:55less like because I can't even be on it's such a negative base now but yeah you're right when you look back like in your 30s like I look back my 30s and I'm like oh what I'm really yeah I feel good with who I am now more than ever I think I think ever in my whole life and I think this is interesting because be honest I look at it and you know if we're gonna bill this empire like waiter doing it the way we want and we are prioritizing like health and relationships and nervous system and mental health and we are like and I mean this is something that the outside world doesn't see from you and I very often but we have anchored a lot in like let it be easy I mean we saw the headaches I'm like we have our moments we have some stuff that that we're still working through that can be challenging in the backhand but we are like this is being built on a way that we are prioritizing ourselves we are building like more and more for ourselves and

15:59our families and being able to help more people and like we anchor in that it can get to be easy so I do feel different now that even when I fall back into old ways I'm like all right that's this is the way we're going like this is the way we're building it yeah right and it can look differently you know I don't know of or see a leader like yourself or a publishing house that is designed and moving along like you're this hmm I love that you said that what do you mean by that what's landing family say that I have no faith there's no fakery there's no pretending there are a lot of women in particular because that's the majority of who I follow and who is kind of doing what we're doing that put on a show and we've experienced the show oh yeah we have

17:00the show the plural yeah and I think I mean even just having this recording like we're sharing the back end of things and we never see that with other people or like with other companies like this so to me it just it feels like we're keeping it real we'll say that again like we always keep it real with even with our authors and we you know have to have tough conversations like we just got to have them who's working to have them yep yep we are we're not going to send someone else and to have them no no no no no no no and there are times where it's like oh that is not how that was supposed to go down okay so what solution can we find and I'll tell you when we figure out that solution because we always do yep we literally stop and go we are resourceful we are resourceful we'll figure shit out we will get things done we we hold up to what our promise is

18:01and guide people through that process so I'm so glad that you went there because I feel like that's a piece that we don't talk a lot about but you know it came from this idea that here we are reinventing ourselves in 40s in 50s in ways that I didn't see coming at all but we're completely built for I'm sorry we are we are built for this you and I were pretty scrappy and we've always been scrappy yeah but we have been we've been full of yep 100% you talk a lot about your childhood and how you do you know and I'm the same like yeah we just did it yeah and that's the piece of it so I feel like you know we are real to the core and it's very important to us that we will always stand integrity and we want the author to be able to shine in their story in the most beautiful way possible yeah yeah we're not gonna throw out them fluff this is like the ripple of it I just think

19:06it's awesome because we get to build what we want and I love this ripple of it I do so much proud of us I'm proud of us too and I really want to anchor back that it was the most challenging experience that we almost wanted to quit on which was the catalyst to do what we do today sorry I have to say it like the thing that we hated we were so feet on frustrated and in that moment went like we will never treat anyone this way this is not gonna ever happen and so some of those learning curves that really sting their fard your learning from and these stuck in the moment they are the catalyst they sometimes are teaching you that maybe you're seeing it this way because you're meant to do it completely differently yeah and it goes back to like a rock bottom moment or something right when you experience those very very low moment

20:08mm-hmm it pushes you to do things different to change things like it really is the catalyst of change and I really caught we went through the trenches together you're the muddy trenches you know I you said rock bottom and I love this I have a client who's in my old spoken male who I just I love I said last year I wanted to have a male and I'm in the program and I'm so grateful that he is and he made the comment he has a lot of years in addiction and sobriety and he works in with helping people on the path of like sponsoring in recovery and he said something and I think this message goes for everything you know we often think about those rock bottom moments and that's where the turn happened and he goes it's not the rock bottom moments it's that you believe that you deserve more than what you have you have to believe that you're worth your worth more you deserve more

21:09than where you are right there and that is to I can't tell you for personal reasons show how many times that message lands for me and so I think back to that moment where you know yes that was a very big grief hard time in our lives personally globally and we'll talk about was a book at the time in not getting any support and it was probably the hardest way possible yet we had to walk through that and then believe that we could do it differently that we could actually create something completely differently and look at that experience and be grateful for what it taught us yep again again so if you have a book on your heart you want to learn how to write your damn book you want to learn how to even put it together what it looks like with the process looks like you want to what what the heck is type setting you want to understand the editing and getting it out into the world like the in my opinion the write your damn book is the lowest like it weighs

22:12at getting entry into learning all the steps we did that on purpose it's the best way to start honestly yeah your mouth attending are already the amount of knowledge that you will walk away with and to prepare you for the process because it's a long road right like eight nine months working with a publisher it's a long road it is and it's it's a lot of stuff like a pregnancy it really is with what people are like oh I'm birthed it's like birthing that process so you know if it calls to you on a state reach out to us it'll be in the show notes we are doing a write your damn book retreat in the beginning of June at the beautiful in port rye rc with jprc it's port paradise I'll make sure I tag them here and it is a three and a half day or day three and a half day retreat

23:14of writing retreat that is like very intimate I think it's six people I think it's very it's so it's very intimate so I'll make sure that's in the show notes too if you want to be able to you know kind of immerse yourself in a space for writing and get our eyes on the work that you're doing thank you so much for tuning in to another episode of own your choices on your life if you love this episode I invite you to tag me on social media with your takeaways or share it with a friend please if you feel called take 30 seconds to leave a five star review and I will be forever grateful until next time remember when you own your choices you truly own your life you