954. How to Keep Going When Your Vision Gets Tested

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Right now, though, let's enjoy this special presentation from Brian and Liz Fullerton,

and thank you for being a part of our podcast family.

What I want to talk about for just a couple of minutes here, and hopefully a couple of

you guys get a couple things out of this.

I don't know if this will relate and resonate with everybody, but I love how Sam Gimbal

wrapped up his presentation with the tail end talking about it.

You get all fired up and all motivated and all encouraged, but then I don't know if you

guys can relate.

Conference is like, there's quite a bit, plugging the things online quite a bit, and it's

almost like you get to this time of the event, this time of the conference, and you're like,

do you guys got all this information, all this data?

And it's like, what do I do with it?

And you got to be careful with that, because around this time of the conference, you can

start thinking to yourself, dude, do I actually like have what it takes to do all this on

Monday?

Is this actually something I want to do?

For real.

Does anybody ever feel that way?

You start kind of like having that negative feedback loop in your mind again, thinking

to myself, man, I don't know if I can be as debeneer as a Sam Gimbal, or as good-looking

as a Western Zimmerman, or whatever.

I want to talk about that loop that's always going on in your mind.

Criticism and doubt.

I want to talk about that for just a couple quick minutes, because Liz and I had a photo

on our old apartment wall for quite a while, and it said, doubt kills more dreams than

failure ever would.

Doub kills more dreams than failure ever would, and that criticism and that doubt is what

I wanted to talk about for just a couple minutes.

Thinking Grow Rich.

She's ever heard the book or read the book, Thinking Grow Rich.

Thoughts are things, desire, faith, auto-suggestion, specialized knowledge.

You guys know the chapters.

If you haven't read the book, it's a classic.

Despite what anybody says, it's a classic, and it's a good book.

Chapter 15 is talked about the fear of criticism.

There's six ghosts of fear.

Anybody ever hear about that?

The six ghosts of fear or read that?

Jeff, you've read that?

Yep.

Poverty, criticism, ill-houth, loss of love, old age, death.

You're like, how is this dude chapter of a title verse, Thinking Grow Rich?

Because I'm psychopathic about learning about success, because when you came as far back

as we did, I read every single book that I could get my hands on.

It was like, man, I'm from heaven.

It was like water to somebody in the desert.

It was water to a dry sponge.

And all I did for the last 15 to 20 years of my life is eat, breathe, and sleep, successful

people like Sam, Jeff, and all these different people.

And you know what?

That stuff helped me, like you wouldn't believe.

And the biggest thing, one of the biggest things that I struggled with was doubt and fear

and criticism, and inferiority complex, and comparing myself to a Cornell Mac, I'm like,

I don't know if I can do what they do, and I learned along the way that I can.

I'm going to help you guys navigate that for just a quick second.

But in that chapter, this really set me free.

I talked about the fear of criticism, and that's something that, there's two types of

it, and we're going to talk about that for a quick minute.

There's criticism from everybody out in the world, and there's also that self-criticism.

There's going to talk about self-criticism for a minute.

I'm going to talk about the criticism from everybody in the world.

Oh, dude, it just gets me so fired up right now, because who out here believes, or who

here sees the amount of criticism or complaining or the whining that's going on in society

right now?

But is it amplified in just so much louder than ever because of social media?

You buy something, you get something, you wear something, you do something, and everybody

has an opinion about everything, and thank to Jesus, the social media all exists from

Facebook to whatever, and everybody gets the comments on all of the above.

And it's such a weird thing that none of us had to really navigate 10 years ago.

The only people that had to navigate that stuff were somebody in the MLB taking an

app-bat, dude strikes out, 20,000 people say, boo, that was it.

But now you run your lawnal landscape business, and you buy a mower, and somebody says,

I think that business is going to work, buy you buy an X-mark, shut about a scag, that

thing's just going to break down anyway.

You think you can make money in that business?

Our whole family's last name always failed that business, what makes you think that you're

going to be successful?

You're like, hey, Aunt Robin, shut your face, where the hell did you come from?

And who also taught you how to get on Facebook?

It's unbelievable.

Talk about more about it in a second.

I don't want a steamroll here, but go ahead.

You want to talk about self-criticism for a couple of quick minutes.

So self-criticism is probably one of the biggest enemies I've faced in my entire life.

It's something I continue to battle against every single day.

Especially as a mom, I know I have quite a few of you ladies in here, like you just can

never be good enough.

You can never be good enough in your business.

There's always something that you could have done better.

But I also believe that self-criticism isn't necessarily bad if you follow just a little

bit of framework.

Anytime I have a thought pop up where I'm doubting or criticizing myself, I think to myself,

is it warranted?

Is what I'm calling myself out on?

True.

Okay.

Could I be actually better in this area?

Or am I comparing my worst against somebody else's best online?

Does that make any sense of like, is it something I'm trying to achieve?

It's really cool that, you know, Susie can grow all these vegetables and her kids eat

nothing but organic, but is that even my goal?

So is it warranted?

Two is, like I said, it's not a bad thing to be self-critical, but how are you talking

to yourself about it?

Check your voice in which that you're saying things to yourself.

You hear your voice non-stop from the moment you wake up to the time you go to the bed

and honestly, even in your dreams, your voice is constantly the one that you hear when

you're reading your life.

If you aren't talking to yourself kindly, how are you going to talk to anybody else?

How are you expecting other people to talk about your business or to you?

Or how are you going to talk to your children?

How are you going to talk to your spouse?

Your self voice is extremely important.

So it's okay to be a little bit critical when it's warranted.

And then also check how you're talking about yourself to yourself.

Are you saying things like, I'm the worst at this.

I suck.

I'm terrible mom.

Terrible mom.

The world's worst mom.

Hey, you know what?

I didn't do that so good.

Yes, there is room for improvement.

The criticism is warranted, but I'm getting myself grace enough to improve.

And you can really bring yourself out quickly too with the negative spiral.

So our other thing too is comparison.

I think it goes hand in hand with self-criticism.

It is impossible to maintain friendships with high caliber people with a heavy dose of

self-criticism in a negative way.

We could not be friends with people like the almonds if we were just so self-critical

and in competition with them.

How am I supposed to be in competition with a bringing almond?

Look at their business.

Look at my business.

She's got three kids.

I got two.

She's, to me, bringing almond is goals.

But I can remain her friend by finding her inspiring in somebody that I can look up to.

Somebody was on my team.

We cheer each other on.

But if I'm so self-critical that I'm in my own head saying, you'll never be as good

as her.

You'll never, you know, homeschool your kid or run a freaking business.

I don't know how to run an excavator.

Do I look like I know how to do that?

I don't even cut grass, honestly.

So you know, take everything I'm seeing with a grain of salt, bring you, like you said,

I'm not a professional speaker.

I am behind the scenes of our business a lot.

I'm not in the field like you guys, but I am a business owner and I experience criticism

and self-doubt every single day.

And those are my couple tips to kind of help you get through it.

Amen of that.

One thing I wanted to share with you guys, and can you guys do me a solid write this down?

Quick nugget.

Nugget?

Write this down, help you.

I know, help me.

You can't fix thoughts with thoughts.

You can only fix thoughts with words.

And I love you guys and I want to love on you guys, and I'm telling you guys, this loop

that's not replayed, I've been there, I've done that, you got to knock that stuff off

and the only way you can control what's going on up top is you start speaking out loud.

And I don't care what you believe or how you believe or what you believe too, but I'm

just telling you, words have power.

And when those words go out of your mouth, they better be speaking life.

My guys never show up, I never get the breaks, I never get the jobs.

Why not me?

Why not us?

Why not now?

Anyone ever say stuff like that?

Let's admit it.

I've said it, you've said it.

Instead you can say, you know what?

I'm so excited, Cory Ballard got that new commercial job.

The next commercial job, my company's getting it.

I'm so excited that Cory Ballard followed a new forum in for his Moe Kruehn company,

you know what?

That next guy, that next guy that's looking for a foreman job, he's going to call my company

and I'm going to get that lead.

You start fixing your words, you start fixing those words, they'll start fixing your thoughts

and your thoughts lead to what, your actions, your actions lead to what, your character,

your character leads to what, your habits, your habits lead to what, your destiny.

And it starts up here and then people go, fullerton, you're all about the dream and

all about words and all about the vision.

I'm like, bro, it always starts there.

You can go talk about moors all day and systems and leadership and all this mess.

But if you got head trash up here and you got self-limiting beliefs and you go haul

off and do nothing because you keep reverting back the old software, we're doomed.

So that's why we spend so much time doing brain surgery.

Okay.

Let me shift gears a little bit.

I want to talk about criticism of others.

Oh, like they said, the highlight reel comparing your worst to someone else's best, season

of being in the desert, waiting for your breakthrough, negative self-talk.

We've got to get rid of that nonsense.

Criticism from others, again, who out here, who here has bought something, done something,

went to a family function, you were all excited, you told somebody, and whether they admitted

to or meant to or not, they poo-pooed on your progress.

Does anybody bend like that?

Give me some examples.

Who's poo-pooed at?

Thanksgiving?

Yeah, thanks.

Give me some other examples.

I saw a bunch of hands.

You guys hold somebody's dream over this way and somebody just made fun of you.

Over here.

Somebody had to raise hand?

In the back.

Yeah.

Somebody made fun of you about that?

Yeah.

You're not going to make any money in snow?

Yeah.

Yeah, there you go.

Anybody over here, you got a story.

Somebody made fun of your criticize you on the red?

Can we love more?

I thought, thank you.

Every lawnmower you bought, somebody makes fun of it.

It says it's not the right one.

You know, it's really interesting.

We're all on the same Facebook groups.

We're all in the same social media realms.

I've yet to find the perfect lawnmower.

I'm like, I buy a scag and I'm like, I'm like, I didn't know that.

I go buy a Toro.

Hey, man, you know, Toro is all the belt slip and the police suck.

Oh, damn it.

I'll go over here.

I like X-Mark.

They're too expensive.

I know, but they're really good.

Yeah, X-Mark sucks.

Oh, God.

Go talk to Ed, right?

He's like, I'll tell you why everybody sucks.

Because he's really smart.

Well, you don't have any dealers in Michigan.

Well, what are you going to do?

I'm like, I don't get it right.

I don't get it right.

I don't get it right.

I don't get it right.

I don't get it right.

I don't get it right.

That guy's right.

That guy's right.

That guy's got the answer.

That guy's got the answer.

And you let that wear on you for two, five, ten, twenty years.

And you start realizing, I've got nothing figured out.

And everybody else hasn't all figured out.

You want some inside baseball?

Pretty much every single person that criticizes you has no clue what they're talking about.

The older I get, the more I realize.

Most people have no idea what they're talking about.

And in fact, you sticking to your guns and you making a decision

and you making it right, you're the one that's usually got the right answer.

Because you know what makes sense for you?

You know what makes sense for your business.

Right?

I started podcast, Liz and I.

We're so excited about a podcast in 2019.

2020?

I don't even remember it.

I don't even remember it.

Yeah.

What decade is it?

I don't even know.

I started podcast.

We're going to do podcast.

It's going to be awesome.

I just want to share my stories and help the world.

Yay!

It wasn't about like three minutes later.

This guy says, how big is your business?

Are you really in the position to be giving advice to other small business owners?

It's through there.

Yeah, I thought so.

Yeah, I thought so.

I thought, you know, I was just about to help people.

I wasn't trying to like, you know, change the world.

Three years later, two point a f and million downloads.

Somebody, somebody find Digerman Chad and send him a screenshot and say, hey, three years later, I got three million downloads.

I've been number eight on the podcast charge for like 10 days straight.

Top 200 for three F and years.

Boy, I'm sure glad I didn't listen to Chad Digerman.

The hell was it Chad Digerman?

F and A, bro.

We buy a house in 2019.

Hey, or by land in 2019.

We bought land.

We were so excited.

We were so excited about it.

We dreamt of buying land forever, forever, forever, forever, forever.

It's literally, since even before we got married, this was like a goal of ours one day.

Finally buy it.

We are crying.

And, you know, it's emotional.

It's a big dream accomplished.

And people still have to decide.

This guy, I don't know who the hell this loser is.

I'm watching a YouTube video one night.

Somebody sends it to me.

Hey, some great slow contrast in the comment threads.

Seriously, it's a quick side note.

Our social media, that's his super humbly, but understand where I'm coming from.

Our social media is so all over the place that there's not a single day where somebody's not talking shit about me.

It's 365.

What we're right now is talking shit about me on his Instagram.

That's hilarious.

If you type in like hate brands all minutes, it'll probably come up like a top 100.

Who thought making YouTube videos about how to cut grass could be such a controversial thing on the internet?

I'm like, what do these people do before I existed?

And they had like something to do after 9 p.m.

It's insane.

So one day I got a, somebody shoots me a message, of course, which is like almost every day.

Hey, so I'm just got a thread.

I go on one of Tigrin and Gerst's videos.

I like T.E. cool.

A little weird, but he's cool.

37th comments deep in like an hour.

And I'm like, what is going on here?

And I, somebody just like commented and then commented again.

And I don't know where people start coming at me about my land and my property.

And like the fact that I want to build a house in this joker.

So it's commenting, coming from the guy who buys land and can't afford to build on it.

Sounds like you have your money going in all the right places, bud.

Criticism from other people, right?

Exactly.

We're growing their businesses.

We're re-investing into the companies.

We're re-investing into Brian Zalmanis.

I'm re-investing into our media company called Motivated Media, M.O.W.

Last year people go, how much did you make from your social media?

I don't know, but I'll tell you what I spent.

Last year I spent reinvested into my social media company $450,000.

On what?

What could that possibly be?

What is social media?

Anybody asked me, what is social media?

It's followers.

What are followers?

People.

What did I spend $450,000 on?

You.

People want to criticize me.

Not going to do it.

Not going to do it.

Not yet.

Six months ago, I broke ground on her home.

Million dollar plus property.

Three years later, it took me a little while.

I wasn't building some double-wide fucking trailer.

To be fair, we're in our arms.

You know things like this cost money.

Anything called COVID, where lumber is up and down a hundred grand every month.

I get my 1,500, my cord fee, 1,000 square foot of cord fee, whatever for wood.

And it's up and down like the stock market.

And I'm like, Jesus Christ.

I'm not building a double-wide trailer homey, relax.

Okay, this stuff takes money.

Also, because we like to do it right.

Because people think all this stuff, I'm like, you know what?

That land, 200 grand.

Not only paid it off, 20% down on that fucker.

This guy's talking trash.

And I put a half a million dollars down on my home, my property, and I pay off my land.

Go ahead, keep talking shit.

This is what I deal with.

I know you guys are dealing with the same stuff.

Maybe different levels.

Maybe different size home.

Maybe different conversations about your mower, your truck, your trailer.

But you guys go to Thanksgiving in two weeks.

And ants too.

And go to Uncle Johnny.

You know, they had four failing businesses.

But he's your know-it-all brother-a-law or uncle.

He's going to tell you, that little long-care business

making any money yet?

Well, not really, Johnny.

I got my third hire.

And I had actually a guy calling last week.

He was drinking whiskey like Sam's guy.

But I'm going to do something big.

And I got this.

I'm going to make it happen.

A little Uncle John.

He's got to say something.

Uncle Rick.

He's got to say something, man.

I'm not building a double-wide trailer.

Man, take a couple minutes to get some of this money together.

Brian's all made his people criticize.

You're starting a YouTube channel long-care.

What are you talking about?

I'm like, I don't even know.

I get started for none of this.

Make a couple videos.

Feel like you're going to take your channel to 100,000 subscribers.

Yeah.

You bet.

Because I'm going to find other fricking winners out there.

They want to do this thing as bad as I do.

And they want to win.

And they want to change their family's stars.

And people are like, you're crazy, man.

You're crazy.

100,000 subscribers.

200,000 subscribers.

200,000 subscribers.

And in 2024, I'm going to take that thing to a million.

I bought the barn.

I had people give me flack about the one.

Both the land came for the house.

Hey, relax, bro.

I got you.

Now I'm going to buy the land and pay that off.

I'm going to build the house, put 20% down.

I'm going to put a hundred grand down into 200 grand barn.

I have that thing paid off by next summer, too.

But criticism of other people, man.

Criticism of other people.

This, I don't know.

I don't know if I can keep a straight face without balling.

Anybody ever heard this poem?

Anybody ever heard this slide?

Have seen this slide?

Have seen this quote.

The man in the arena.

Who's ever heard this?

Raise your hand if you've ever seen this or heard this.

And if not, see this into the back of your mind.

You guys might as if I read this to you really quick.

It is not the critic who counts.

Not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles

or the doer of deeds could have got more done than them better.

The credit belongs to the man who's actually in the arena,

whose face is more by dust and sweat and blood,

whose strides valiantly, who heirs,

who come short again and again,

because there is no effort without error or shortcoming.

But who does actually strive to do the deeds,

who knows great enthusiasm, the great devotions,

who spends himself worthy cause,

who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement.

And who at the worst, if he fails,

at least he fails while daring greatly,

so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls

that neither know victory, no defeat.

The critic, man, the critic.

The success will be remembered for the successors,

the failures, or we remember it for their failures.

But the vast majority, the middle,

they'll just be plain forgotten.

Man, the critic.

You know, it's one of those things

where I've been criticized so freaking much

and all it's done, Corey, is maybe better.

It's made me stronger.

It's built my resolve.

We've had fear, we've had doubt,

but we have to overcome that.

I want to say it's been easy.

I want to talk up here and be tough,

and say we had it figured out,

we knew, we believed,

and we were going to make it happen,

despite everything.

But I'd be lying to not say that,

it wasn't tough at times.

And there's times that we almost faltered.

There's times when we were giving up.

And we'll listen to it,

and we've heard somebody say once,

we both don't just give up on the same day.

That's the secret to making it.

You both don't just give up on the same day.

And for anybody who's ever heard that story,

and thinks that I make stuff up,

does anybody know what this is?

One day we're in our apartment,

700 square foot, a little halfway house.

We were excited at the time

because we could plug in our vacuum cleaner

and get the whole place like that.

We could go from a living room to bedroom.

We were excited.

We did.

This is like a good thing to us.

I think that's the size of course,

walking closet at his house.

But listen, we had a tough week's months.

I don't even know what it was.

We were just having a tough point in our relationship.

I don't even know what it was.

But what I do remember is that we had a pretty knockout drag out.

We decided, I remember,

we decided that we were personally going to get out of debt,

and then go ahead and reinvest everything into the business,

and get more debt to grow the business.

And I saw no way that we were ever going to be able

to have children, let alone a house, to raise them in.

We were stuck in my mind.

What did we have on our fridge?

Because we're big dreamers,

and we like to have visions in front of us.

What did we have on our fridge?

We had all of our dreams plastered on our refrigerator

because it was the one place in our house

that we went to regularly because we like to eat.

And what do we do?

And when we go to the refrigerator or go in the kitchen,

we look at them and put them right in front of us.

We talk about dream boards and vision boards all the time

on the podcast.

If you guys side note haven't done that yet,

please just get one and put it on your truck

spedometer thing.

You don't need to see how fast you're going anyway.

Somewhere you're going to look like regularly.

And what happened that night when we had a knockout drag out fight?

I lost the vision,

and I ripped all of our dreams off the refrigerator.

Things that have been up there for years,

we were in that apartment for seven years.

They were dusty and gritty,

and I not only took them off,

I tore them into pieces.

And I told Brian, I quit.

I can't do this anymore.

We have no money in the bank account where you're more in debt

than we've ever been.

We don't have any help.

It's just us.

The capital, the capital,

whatever the freaking word is,

isn't coming.

There's nobody coming to save us.

And I can't do it anymore.

And I walked away, and I went to bed.

And the good old winner husband that I am,

which is probably most of your husbands as well.

She's crying, ballin, slam goes the door.

We're definitely those apartment neighbors, you know.

Everybody's lived next to him.

But I went back on my hands and knees,

and I picked up all these little scraps of paper,

crying my eyes out.

And I said,

I have to become better.

I have to figure this out.

I am figuring this out.

We will figure this out.

It is figured out.

I'm going to get it done.

See the evolution there?

I put all these back in a ziplock bag.

I came out the next morning,

and he had a magnetic chip clip hanging on the refrigerator.

So these are her dreams.

And she does the whole not talk about it thing, you know.

So I said,

you want to talk about it last night?

This is why we run a marriage conference.

You want to talk about it?

She goes new.

As much as everybody else.

And you want to talk about it?

No, not really.

Okay.

So we just pretend that didn't happen.

But here's what I just want to say.

I'm not giving you some big grandiose point.

What I just want to say is,

maybe laugh with you guys a little bit,

maybe cry with you guys a little bit.

But just let you know,

we're not a finished product by any stretch of the imagination.

I don't have a company like Atlas Outdoor.

They inspire the snot out of me.

I want to go to that level pretty soon here.

But I'll tell you what,

that doubt,

that criticism of yourself,

and the criticism of other people,

minimize it.

Reduce it.

Get rid of it.

It's not doing anything for you.

And start fixing those thoughts in your mind with words.

Put everything that you're learning from this conference

into action on Monday.

And then on Tuesday.

And then on Wednesday.

And on Wednesday, when things don't go right,

and they don't go the way you thought,

I want you to remember that feeling

that you felt today,

with the same gamble making you laugh,

or a liberal it means making you feel invincible,

or a Jeff Chorner who's going to make you laugh

and just pull the best out of you.

Remember that feeling,

because it will flee.

Remember it.

So you can say,

you've charged up and fired up.

And so we see you at the next event.

Well, we can all see each other, talk about our growth,

talk about our success, talk about our gains,

and keep the conversation going.

So guys,

the critic,

they're playing for gotten.

Don't worry about them.

Everything that we've accomplished,

they've all been there every single step of the way.

You know what I'm just doing?

Got the receipts.

Got the receipts.

Got the receipts.

That's all I got.

Okay, you guys can do it.

We love you.

We appreciate you.

Thank you so much.

You got one more?

Oh, we got something else.

So this is.

I'm nervous.

I am never able to surprise Brian.

So you guys helped me surprise him last night

by signing something pretty important to us.

Brian, I didn't know that you were going to include this

in your speech,

but I wanted to give you something.

This man has had,

we call it his corner office at our old department.

I'm nervous.

You could have the wind blow

and it was bringing in snow and stuff

where he's at his desk

and there's literally snow coming in through the window.

There's such a big draft there.

We call it his corner office.

He's never had a place to really work.

If you see a video that's been edited or something,

it was usually done on a laptop

or at 3 a.m. when the kids are sleeping at the kitchen table.

And he's finally going to have an office of his own

and I wanted to frame something

and do something special for him for our fifth year

of doing Entrepreneur Academy.

And I couldn't think of a better thing

because you really like this speech.

We didn't rehearse any of this.

We didn't rehearse.

I just rambling up here because I'm nervous.

But I thought I would have that framed

the man in the arena

as well as some art for your new office

because he's actually going to have an office.

And I just wanted to say a quick thank you

for you being...

This is new.

Our man in the arena.

I had everybody sign it last night.

If you haven't signed it,

I'll have him in the back of the room.

Thank you.

Wow.

That's for you.

Thank you.

I just...

Okay, see you.

Are you sure everybody?

Sure.

Ready.

Where are you giving it to?

Yeah.

And I also thought you could use some artwork.

What is that?

You're going to make me cry.

Thank you for being the man in the arena for our family.

I know it hasn't been easy and I think everybody in this room can attest to, you know, you

did a speech a few years ago who wins when you succeed and because you chose to be in

the arena facing the critic, our family is winning and I hope that people in here are winning

as well.

So this is my thank you.

That is beautiful.

Thank you so much.

Wow.

You can see that.

Check that out.

Thank you.

All right.

Okay.

Wow.

Did you know about this?

Oh, we were cool.

That's good.

All right.

Guys, that's all I got.

Thank you so much.

That's beautiful.

We're breakdancing.

It's delicious wild.

And we're going to be a camper for the next six months.

We're like traveling hobos, you know what I'm saying?

So pray for us.

And once the house is done, hit me up.

I'll give you a tour.

All right.

I love you guys.

Thanks for making this the best allele ever.

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Thanks for taking the time to listen to the Fullerton unfiltered podcast with Brian Fullerton.

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While the techniques and ideas presented here are designed to help you grow a more successful

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We want to emphasize that entrepreneurship is not easy.

And the ideas presented here are just the opinions of Brian Fullerton and his respective

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Fullerton unfiltered podcast.

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