7. Benson Langat: Character Development, Individualization & Catching Athletes Doing Things Right

0:00I'm excited to welcome a new sponsor to Youth Sports United. Today's episode is brought to you by Bearware. As a coach, host of this pod, and a dad to a 12-year-old, I spend a lot of time thinking about what really supports kids as they grow through sport. We talk a lot about growth, confidence, mindset, teamwork. But the truth is, so much of a kid's experience also happens around the game. Early mornings, long days' tournaments, the car rides, the snacks, the routines that keep everything moving. As parents, we're juggling a lot. We want to fuel our kids properly, help them build healthy habits, and model good choices, without adding more stress to already busy days. That's why I want to take a moment to share a brand I genuinely respect and use as a sports parent, Bearware. Bearware was created by a fellow parent who saw a simple but real problem. Plastic lunch gear just doesn't hold up to real family life.

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2:07and use the code sports15 at checkout to say 15% on your order. Offer available in Canada only. We're proud to have Bearware supporting youth sports united and the work we're doing to promote positive, growth, oriented experiences for young athletes and their families. Welcome to Youth Sports United. I'm your host, Jason McGinnis. I'm a certified high-performance coach who works with executives, entrepreneurs, and athletes to unlock their potential through self-transformation that addresses the barriers to achieving their ultimate goals. I'm also a youth baseball coach. And over the last few years, I've observed the negative impact team cultures focused on winning can have on kids' self-esteem and enjoyment of the game. My goal is to create a community of parents and coaches dedicated to enriching the youth sports experience and building environments where growth, development, teamwork, and fun are as valued as performance. On Youth Sports United, I speak to a variety of experts in the youth sports world

3:09about how we as parents and coaches can create positive, development-focused sports cultures that accelerate our kids' growth as people, not just players. And let's be clear, I'm not against competition or winning. I feel both enrich the youth sports experience. However, I am against winning at all costs. I believe that when we prioritize growth and development, embrace mistakes as part of the process and create fun team environments, winning becomes the outcome of the positive habits we're teaching. On today's episode, I sit down with Benson Lenga. Benson is the founder and head coach of Benzane Runcoaching and Sports Consulting. He's also an elite marathoner who's finished top 20 in the Boston Marathon in a coaching certification instructor with the Roadrunners Club of America. That's how we know each other. He was my coach when I completed my runcoaching certification. Our conversation focuses on Benson's coaching philosophy and his beliefs around the importance of supporting character development in our young athletes.

4:10We discuss the importance of failure as a learning tool, the impact of social media on youth sports, and the significance of building a supportive culture and environment for our young athletes. We also explore the importance of individualization and coaching and how positive feedback can enhance an athlete's motivation and performance. We should always be looking for opportunities to catch our young athletes doing things right. Benson is one of the coaches I most look up to and I was so grateful for his willingness to share his wisdom. Please enjoy my conversation with Benson Lengen. Benson, how are you? Doing wonderful, thanks for having me. Yeah, thanks for joining us here on Youth Sports United. Really excited to have you and to have a conversation about your coaching experience. Yeah, yeah, I'm excited to be here. So, and before we dive in, I can attest to the fact you are an incredible coach and I've experienced it firsthand as for those listening, Benson was my instructor when I completed my running coach certification

5:13through the Roadrunners Club of America. So, I've gotten to experience his coaching and I'm excited to share his wisdom with all of you today. Yeah, it was, that was a great class we had. It was a lot of fun. You guys did amazing as a class overall, so I'm excited to share some of those concepts. So, we talked about and you know, I explore a lot more. So, thanks for taking that class by the way. Oh, it was amazing. And, you know, I know we'll get into it later, but you shared some of your coaching ideology with how you work with your athletes through the course. And I thought, A, that was just great learning for me as a coach to think about how you approach particularly younger athletes, youth athletes, but also B, it's just, it's always so refreshing to hear new perspectives and new ways of helping our athletes grow. Before we get started, why don't you tell us, tell us our listeners a little bit about yourself and what it is you do. A lot of it about myself.

6:13I was born in racing. Born in racing, Kenya came to United States on a track and fell scholarship to run in college here. Before that, I was actually not a runner in high school. I was a rugby player. And so, I chose running right after college and I had a coach who picked me up and said, hey, I just want to coach you and we'll talk about that later. But I had a lot of setbacks trying to lose weight and all that. So I came to United States right now. I am, I ran competitively for a long time. I'm sponsored by sketches, Martin, the hydration company, and also a chorus, a watch company. So I've spent a lot of time running competitively. And then also throughout my journey right now, I am on my own business, been saying run coaching and sports consulting where we focus on the specific about the running itself.

7:16And then also we're doing mental performance coaching where we spend a lot of time navigating the abs and darts and training and getting the athletes to what I call the meta performance. That is a space where many athletes can get to the higher performance. But there is a space of the opt performance, the meta performance. So that's what my sports consulting is all about. And so I live in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. And I enjoy it here. It is very close on days. And then it's not so close on days. And then also I teach for roadrunners Club of America, which is a run coaching certification, which you Jason just did not long ago. I love that because I get to meet some incredible coaches who want to become better and become better in solving the community. And then also not profit consultant as well. I think it's so interesting.

8:19You're approach to coaching. And what you just talked about, about high performance and then getting to that like ultimate meta performance as you described it. And what I think is really interesting about the way that you tackled this is so often my experience has been or experience I've observed has been, is that when we have high performing athletes or those on the cuss who being elite, often as coaches, the tendency is to double down on skill development. So we're going to focus on the skills to get them there. And often that they'll fall short because they're not developing and growing as humans and as individual individuals. And what I think is so fascinating about your approach is the way that you are so focused on helping your athletes build character, helping them understand the value of failure, helping them become high functioning individuals

9:22where the output then becomes that meta performance. And so that's what I'm really interested in chatting about today is how you balance that desire for elite performance with grounding your athletes and teaching them the values necessary to have that strong character and that strong ability to bounce back from failure and achieve through more of an internal versus external lens. Yeah, that's, I mean, when you think about first of all thinking about how can somebody define a coach? I think that really as anybody can be a coach for anything. Everybody has their own different methods of coaching. Now, as a coach that I coach athletes when I write training plans for specific athletes. Now, mind you, my athletes are all over the country and outside the country as well.

10:23So online, I'm coaching them now. That is a programming itself. There are so many coaches who can write plans. Who can write great plans. They can write a phenomenal plan. But for me, I'm centered into I don't want your experience that I have with you to be just the coaching experience. I want to help you figure out what are you learning throughout this journey? So the concept of when the run doesn't go well, when you are through a basketball and you miss a shot on a winning, you know, when you're supposed to be winning, what is the moment teaching you? So for me is to go back and look at some of those things and say, first of all, why are you choosing to be in the sport? Why are you choosing to be in sport? So the beginning part of it is finding your why. Because if I find out your why, then it's easy for me to come back and say,

11:23you know, you're focused on what other people think you're forgetting about your why. So a lot of that starts really is, you know, when you talk about how do you help people stay grounded? It's go back to what is your why for being in the sport? And then you start to walk the journey with them and start to think about focus on, you know, there's so many things that I do I want to know or motivates this individual. So find your why or motivates you. And then you start to get into some of those spaces as well to start to figure out what works best for them what type of, you know, motivation somebody needs, what type of communication, how do you even communicate with this specific individual? You know, sometimes there are people who you might need a lot of bit of time after they finish an event. Give them time to come down a lot of it before you or more recover a lot of it before you start having sudden conversation. And that's what, as a coach, I'm trying to figure it out.

12:25The ultimate goal of my work is to really help you unlock the greatest version of yourself. The greatest version of yourself is through really what I learned from my mentor is through some discovery. So using sports to what am I learning about myself? I felt that this opportunity that really failed by showing up. No, let's think about how do we reframe that? So that's the all context of the process and but it really goes back into what is your role as a coach and how do you want to drive these conversations and help somebody? Because eventually I would like to see somebody say, my life is better because of this experience that I had with you as a coach. Yeah, building that greater, greatest version of yourself. And I think what's so powerful about that is it is so internally focused. What are you doing to build the greatest version of you?

13:26It's not in comparison to what may be going on around you. And as an athletics coach, we talked about this before we started recording. I think you were working with athletes who, you know, they're on their own. They're in the spotlight. When you're on the track, when you're running cross country, if you're running a marathon, you're competing against yourself. And I think what's so powerful about athletics and so much of what I've learned on my own running journey is you experience failure at a different, in a different way, because there's no one else around you that you can point the finger at or blame. It's on you. Some of the lessons you take away from that are so powerful. I'm curious. That's me standing here as, you know, a middle-aged man saying that

14:26and having years of reflecting on it. When you're working with young adults and those at the youth sports age, whatever that may be, say middle school, high school, how do you help them embrace failure as a learning tool? That's a very good question. You know, when we talk about athletics in America, that is running in another, you know. So, and I've worked with athletes both running and other sports as well. We talk about basketball, talk about American football. You talk about, I'm working with individual right now who does lacrosse. So I'm getting an opportunity to learn more about lacrosse. But failure really, it could be an end, an end of career for an individual. For example, I had someone who did not do very well in a workout. Just a workout. Just didn't. It wasn't really a good workout.

15:26And this is a young individual. And so they decided, well, running is not my sport. And I think when you think about young individuals, as coaches, I think that's why I mentioned earlier is, as a coach, how do you identify? I mean, what is your role as a coach? For me, I want to be that support system. I want to be somebody that empowers somebody too. Always drive to, you know, how do you define failure? For example, for me, I don't see failure as as something that I felt. You know, we don't have bad days when in athletics, we have character building days. I believe he said, really, we showed up today. And you didn't have a good day. That is a character building they saw. I lean more into what did you learn about yourself during that moment? And I think when you go into that space,

16:26you help somebody realize, like, maybe I was anxious before I took out, you know, the basketball shot when everybody's watching me. Maybe, I just didn't have the greatest day. I think when you think about walking with space, you know, like the younger individuals, the first question is, where are you meeting them? In some sports, athletics or running is a punishment. So, for example, in basketball, sometimes if you're late to practice, they tell you, well, run some laps, or do whatever. So, the running already has become punishment, right? So, so, to answer that question, I think when you think about young athletes, is the first question I always say is, why are you meeting them? And then walk the journey with them. Now, there are so many things that when walking with younger individuals, this new generation is very different.

17:26You got to approach conversations and, you know, some things from a space of empathy. This is a very hard sport. You are alone. It's a comparison sport. You're always comparing yourself with other people. And so, failure can come if you think about the word failure. It comes in so many different ways. Somebody might say, well, I don't have the, the kind of right of, you know, I didn't have the right watch that I, so on, so has this. And so, when you think about that, it's where are you meeting this individual? And then figure out how do you help them continue to grow? Now, I speak from a place of walking one-on-one with athletes. Now, collectively, as a team, that is a different, you know, approach. So, when walking with that group, like maybe a baseball group is, as a coach, what kind of, what kind of culture do you set? If you're setting a culture of growth, people respond to that.

18:26And if you think about younger athletes, they are gravitating towards what is, you know, what's going to help them grow. And so, coaching, I think, is like, that's the tone that you set, the culture that you set. And so, it brings me back into where are you meeting them. And then you start to think about, as a coach, how do you define failure? If it's, okay, let's try again, as a prompt to, you know, dealing with the setback. Let's try again tomorrow. How do you communicate that? Instead of, well, I knew you were not a great athlete. Again, that takes the power of words that come out of our mouths as coaches and leaders. It really could take somebody's career all the way the other direction. So, I always am mindful of that. And so, empowering individuals to always reframe what failure means to them.

19:26So, some days, I can give you an example. How you, you know, like, if you went for a run today, and it was not the best run that you've had, how you save your watch, I mean, how you hit stop. On your watch, that is going to define how you show up the next day. Most likely, if you say, this run was the worst run, tomorrow you're treading the run into, you know, like, oh, I don't even want to run today. Now, if you save your watch as man today was a rough day, but I'm going to show up. I'm glad I show up. So, gratitude jumps back into that space. So, again, so, that's how when I'm working with younger individuals. Again, where am I meeting them? And then, how do you walk that journey with them? So, if I was working with a group, that's the same approach. And then, approaching them, they start to look...

20:26and they start to go out and look at them. So, usually, and then start to coach that piece of how do you show up every single day? And so, that's a lot bit of, in that space of working with younger individuals. So, I jot down a couple of words that really stood out for me that you said there. The first is the idea of individualization. Even in a team dynamic, you're still going to be coaching individuals one-on-one at specific times and That idea of we have to be aware of All of these individuals having their different needs their different approaches their different motivations and how we we approach them very specific to those needs You know emotions and and motivations. So we're individualizing that approach The second piece that really came off for me was intention and And being really intentional and It's hard to be intentional sometimes especially when you're in in the sporting environment or things can be really emotional

21:29They can be hectic. It can be competitive Just bringing yourself back and thinking intentionally about what's the outcome you're working towards with this athlete and And being really clear in how you're approaching them to help them get to that outcome And I think that ties directly to the the big one that I took away from what you just said And that's this idea of reframing and I think as coaches working with younger athletes We need to be in a constant space of teaching the value of reframing because You know younger athletes I I always go back to my baseball team I coach which are 13-year-olds a lot of their identity is tied up in who they are as an athlete at that age Right a lot of people my age are still tied up in their identities as an athlete and I think When that happens a it's a very external view But also be when mistakes happen it can have a really personal impact on the individual

22:31I can because it comes from a space of Am I not fulfilling that identity? I've created for myself and so you gave some great examples there of this idea of reframing and How do we reframe a mistake a failure a bad outcome as a learning to help propel you to that greater outcome down the road? I can think of countless examples Through my sporting life whether it was as a youth athlete growing up or my you know my running now Where you know, I've had coaches do that really well And it's had a positive impact and and actually I left the field feeling pretty good about myself even though something maybe didn't go as I have planned And the other side of that where it was treated as an error and a pun and I was punished for it and there's nothing feels worse than When you're out there doing your best and something doesn't go as planned and

23:32Your next thing you know you're being punished for it. So I think there's something really valuable there about this idea of reframing And as coaches being really intentional and knowing that's a priority and a skill we have to teach because that doesn't come naturally I think going back a lot of it to what you mentioned about identity. I think that's been the biggest Something that a lot of people have been dealing with in terms of why I'm a runner so That's who people know, you know, I dealt with that myself I few years ago I was I'm not to be you know in my community not to be like you know That we can't worry like you see me on you know like all bands and just did a 20 mile a while That was quick and all that and I think when we sent ourselves up with that identity Which I think it's how we see I was solving that space if it's so much for the outside perspective. I think It could cause some damage so what I mean by that is at the point where I was I'm known to be this you know

24:37This runner who you know gets out and and gets you know runs decent and and just click some fast times and all that You want to be this travel agent? You want to be the top of the you know and so During that time I was doing some things that sometimes it's outside of What my training needs or so I'm constantly On Strava checking who's in the top of the list if somebody goes on top of me, you know on top of that You know pushes me to the second and quickly go back to let me go run another run so I can stay on that so It was taking me to a place where I'm not enjoying the sport anymore So I say it had to say many people have used Running as the identity well. This is me. That's all I talk about but I always say Really you just happen to be this athlete who plays basketball Basketball is not you so this is something temporary that if it's taken away from you. Who are you going to be?

25:44I always encourage younger athletes like it's it's greater your body and into the sport But don't forget that some you're also still a student number one thing at learning college You are a student and then an athlete the number one goal you being in college was that so so I say that to say What happens you running is taken away from you yet? This is your identity what happens when Basketball is taken away from your baseball is taken away from you that means through injuries That means through maybe a medical issue that will not allow you to come back and I think you can see that across different sports in American football Some people retire and they were I'm a football player that's who the popularity is on that and they lose the past I mean they don't know who they are They they go into digging into habits that they're not you know that they're not themselves. So I say all that to say It is really important to identify that I

26:47For example, I'm Benson who just happened to run and I'm very good at it when I'm in my peak shape more so to know that when it's not that is not going on in my life Other things are still going really well in my life, but I think sometimes people sabotage that Because of that identity and so a young athlete too in a place where Comparison we you know people are comparing themselves so much with So other people you know, and they do other things that they're not supposed to be doing Part of that is just trying to gain the popularity and the identity. So It's a very good point that you mentioned that because When you find out who you are That is the most important thing that you want to take away really the sport is to teach you more about yourself I'm a resilient. I'm realizing that in South Dakota right now. It's very cold But I'm realizing wait a minute. The cold doesn't bother me. Let me let me get out

27:48So you learn to teach yourself out of that. So in that space of identity. I always ask In this season of your life. What are you learning about yourself? In the half season of your life Of your training season for example baseball Softball or football or any sport. What are you learning about yourself? And then come back with that and so you take that and tie that to you. I think Sports is one of the best invention For our own some discovery and so I think what we think about reframing things. We start to think about Failure really you turn that into no wait a minute. I'm stronger. I just need to try more I need to keep trying more and so just wanted to add that a little bit on that You know in that the space of identity Yeah, I really value that and I think the other thing that we risk when we tie our identities too closely to

28:48An outcome of any kind and maybe it's not sporting maybe it's you know I'm Jason the woodworker or I'm you know whatever that may be But I think the risk is is that When we when we're too consumed with that identity then we're benchmarking ourselves often externally And so I'm going to make this up but you know Benson ran a 10 mile Tempo run today well I'm going to go out and run in 11 mile tempo run because I just want to in my mind keep myself a little bit ahead But then But I'm not doing what's best for me and I'm not doing what's best for my mastery And so it's actually detrimental in the long term to The growth as an athlete because We're at least the way I see it the pursuit of identity in the pursuit of external validation Works directly against this idea of mastery and mastery starts by looking internally and figuring out

29:54To your point earlier, you know what's my why How do I then focus on on mastering what I need to do to be able to Achieve that why in that, you know peak performance and You know, I often why have conversation like this I immediately go to Kobe Bryant Kobe Bryant was hands down one of my favorite athletes ever Uh, I so looked up to him because of just his sheer work ethic And I read this interview with him once where the the person interviewing him asked You know, was it that he loved winning or that he hated losing And his answer was It's neither He's I play the game to learn and to grow and to be the absolute best player I can be And I'm out there every day just trying to get better

30:57And I just that attitude just stuck with me so much this idea of focused on self focus on mastery Not in those external variables And so I just that really came up for me as I was listening to you talk about the identity pieces It actually I think is counterintuitive to what you're trying to achieve which maybe be the best athlete you can be and When you're talking to us thinking about Kobe Bryant, I look up to him one of my favorite athletes I've read so much about him. I've spoken a lot about his habits and and and Kobe Will never be replaced and we can try to be we can try to you know, um, you know copy copy what he did But he has his own skill set on being able to do that. So I think a lot of people What the identity piece of it too and and it's customized some of those things like we can read books How to do books

31:57They wake up at 4 a.m. Or wake up at 5 a.m. You know and and all those things or go do this But I think we can just really take some of those pieces and Customize that to does this work for me. Mm-hmm. For example Kobe. I can do whatever Kobe did I mean, it's just you know, um, it's just not realistic But I can borrow some of these disciplines his mindset on his approach on some of the things And I think that's what we can teach the kids because when they watch You know us, you know something on TV and and and they watch um, you know I raise and they're like I want to be like that. I was like well So-and-so has a different skill set Now how can you borrow some of this and apply to what works best for you? And I think when we start to look at that um, I like the the concept of uh, John Wooden the RUCL from a basketball coach He said after every practice I push my athletes

33:00In for meaning in basketball during practice and whatever happens that day You live practice always keeping your head up because if you keep your head down that is like well You showed up you pushed yourself Now during that time you're always crafting the skill that is You need to improve that day. You need to walk on that. So I think a lot of that is when we teach that We teach What is something that you think you need to improve on? I can go a lot of it on that and say At different Uh, different seasons of our training um, faces for my athletes I'm always thinking about what is the skill that we can improve on That is athletes need to improve on instead of looking at what we need to run tempo speed and all that Sometimes that is just we need to go back down and look at what is the skill that we need to improve this season And I think that's the ultimate goal because really the comparison game is I always believe

34:02The only person you can compare yourself with Is the person you are yesterday And I think that's the place that when we tried to think about identity is Am I better than the person I was yesterday. I say that to my son all the time um If he's feeling down on himself Maybe he didn't have a great practice or you know something's on his mind Uh specific to his performance and athletics I just I asked him that and and then I always ask him, you know, what are we striving for And he'll say one percent better every day. Yeah Because if we get just a little bit better every day Over time, that's a huge lasting incremental gain, right? So um, I love I love that. I love that idea of You know comparing ourselves to who we were yesterday As as our true benchmark

35:03Where I think it gets tricky for young adults and you mentioned, you know, the the current generation of of youth athletes a little bit earlier Is when social media comes into play Um, because you know, it's no secret What people post on social media is heavily curated, right? Nobody posts their four strikeout game on social media and I watch what my son is watching on YouTube and there's these elite travel teams that they have channels dedicated to these kids and I just think a the pressure that must put in these kids is is astronomical But also be it it just it it adds gasoline to this fire of comparison And so I'm curious Benson You know, what's your experience been with youth athletes and social media and and and How that's maybe impacted how they're they're performing or how they're seeing themselves That's a very good point and I I did a podcast. I mean out a podcast a webinar on that sometime last year

36:10with a team um and Many questions came about social media um now In this generation that we live in We have so much access to information from social media from anywhere you go you need something right now You would get that almost that answer that you need right now Go on AI or Google or whatever and type. I need to run a personal best So I need to strike out best what do I need to do now we get all that information we see people living In this amazing lives, right? We see people living like hey, I just bought the shoe This is the best shoe you need to buy this and then you like you hear somebody say I need the shoe I need the shoe anyway all these things I say this to say It goes back into when walking with athletes what genre you are I've always asked a question That you know somebody mentioned one time to me like well, I saw this somewhere and and and and they said

37:13What you need to do this and the athlete was like why am I not doing that and that question to me was Do you know this person's journey did you know how they get here and a lot of the time Even for adults In the sport we're always comparing or wanting the next Piece that could shortcut us to getting to the next highest level and so I think technology and social media. It's amazing when we can look at And it goes goes back into the comparison game If Jason can get here I wonder why he did to get to this place maybe I need to go walk hard so I can get to this place Instead of like well, so what so is living this life well, I guess my life is miserable I guess um if so what so has so many likes I guess I'm not that good enough All the social media now the conversations within that is I'm always thinking about What is your journey?

38:14What's your journey on you on right now? What season are you on in your life right now because if you're comparing yourself with the pitch shape right now And you're in your base building and I'm talking about running here You're talking about two people walking different paths Now many people and of course athletes That during of season I see them doing incredible Work they're putting in a lot of effort now When season starts They start to decline part of that is because of What the trends are out there and so it's always reminding these individuals Do not always score always a lot from them But always think about what journey am I on right now? So when you have that person thinking like Show them where they are part of really This is to educate as coaches. I think we can be really good at educating Um talk about nutrition right now so many things about nutrition come up

39:17Everybody wants to jump on that But I think centering people into yeah all this amazing tribe see what works best But always find one or two three things that works best for you and stick with that now if it's all about You know the trends We can control that but we can teach this individuals and I always say they you know like Where are you at right now in your life A freshman could be comparing this up them sub with a senior and I'm like wait. Wait a minute. You want this a freshman You compare yourself with the Kobe Bryant Kobe Bryant. I mean You know sad we lost Kobe, but maybe let me use that different example. Maybe Um a LeBron James you compare yourself with LeBron LeBron and you are in a way different Different you know age groups and all that so but you can always aspire to be at the level they are by Trying different walk ethics and so I think when it comes to social media

40:19I always encourage lawn But when you filter that information filter that information to what works best for you Not only what you you know what it's out there because really all most of the stuff on social media they're reals like you said People don't talk about failures people don't talk about they talk about what's going really well but Sometimes that is just not all true. So It's always I always believe that you want to educate educate educate and always be supportive It's like so now we they can have perspective so they can have their own filter of like I like this And this needs to go this is what I aspire to be this is not what I aspire to be and I think that Part of it. So they you empower them to be able to know what's right and what not to do. Yeah, and what I'm taking away from that is it's almost about

41:21educating the athlete on Just how to be aware of what they're consuming from a content standpoint and So we'll use the LeBron James example So what can you take away from you know a highlight reel of LeBron James You know from the last game Well You're probably not going to be able to do maybe the athletic things he can do especially if you're say a high school basketball player just from where you're at But you can look at how did he show up as a teammate What was his work ethic? You know how did he Hold himself accountable There's lots of great lessons that we would all benefit from no matter what the pursuit is So it's almost as if the the opportunity is to see what these individuals are doing and Look under the water line Right like I think about you know a great coaching

42:24A great coaching analogy is is you know getting Your athlete or getting your client below the water line So we only see the top of the iceberg But there's a whole bunch of stuff going on and breathe right? Yeah, so it's always like how do we get these kids when they're consuming This content to think well, what's below the water line? What did LeBron do to get there in that moment And that's a good point because I Always what I've always done too is I always and I always ask our individuals Especially the younger group that I'm working with who somebody that you look up to in your sport And then study them see what they do and and so how do they show up as Outside of the sport and and one thing that came out from a one athlete was like They are spending a lot of time recovering And I'm like now look at some of the small things you talk about the underwater The things that you normally don't see is wait a minute. They're spending a lot of time doing recovery They actually focus on clean eating

43:25So those are the things that we can look and think about for me to get to this level Of play or running or whatever. It's how are they doing the small things Focus on that and I think when we focus on this last but better Social media right now You can go then you can find anybody that can tell you give you an answer about something But then you don't know like are they the master of the sport and that's why when you ask these individuals are the younger group like Who do you look up to the most and then go back go a little bit deep and ask like you said Are they a better teammate how do they communicate with the team are they supportive And because of that you start to now start to think about now. How do you want to show up? as a teammate How do you want to show up as an athlete? Are you the kind of athlete that when you show up you're high-fiving everybody? Oh you just Removing yourself from you know the scene and and cussing and doing all this

44:29Always what type of athlete do you want to show up as do you want to be a better teammate and then again They can learn from some of those and then they I you know I talked all about this Meta performance this higher performing person this You know this optimal performance this optimal performance this space is about the small details Focusing on the small details. How did I reframe my failure and then you you know you and then you ask this individual now How can you take that? What you learn and apply to your homework that you head in school. How do you take that to? I always like math because it's an easy reference to Check what you learn in sport. You're not always gonna hit all the homeruns Someday you're gonna miss and so are you you're gonna miss some time in math as well And so how can you relate that and take that into that? So again, just a little bit of a segue in that into how do you learn from the sport

45:34But but then you learn from some of these individuals who are doing the best the masters that are doing it Net or down into the small things that are they're doing that you don't normally don't see Yeah, yeah, I So it's funny right before you said the word reframe a minute ago. I wrote reframe on my no pad Because that's where my mind was going as you were saying that is So often we see this success And whether that's the professional athlete, you know, whether it's the elite, you know 14 you travel team from Charlotte North or Charlotte North Carolina that my son follows whoever it may be um We so get caught up on in the presentation of their success And how do we help our our young athletes reframe that into Well, what's that athlete doing to achieve that level and what lessons can you learn there?

46:38Um, I think a story that I've shared with my son a couple of times And we washed it together is I'll go back to Kobe But there's a documentary on Netflix about the redeemed team redeem team excuse me And this was the USA men's basketball team that came back to the Olympics in one gold After not winning gold a couple of years in a row and then the program was kind of you know in a lot of There's a lot of questions a lot of things happening with the program And when the team is at their training camp in Las Vegas The last day of training camp they played some scrimmages And then the team all went out partying that night in Vegas except for Kobe 5am the team is coming up the elevator after a night of partying and the door opens and there's Kobe standing there with his gear getting ready to go to the gym And I use that example with my son not as saying that

47:41You need to be up at 5am going to the gym but just As an example of a that's what hard work gets you putting in those reps is how you get to your level of mastery But also be it's about commitment Right and if you're going to commit then you commit fully and I just don't think I've ever encountered an example of someone being more committed than that. Yeah What I think that's really you think about You mentioned I've watched the episode and it's incredible, you know How Kobe is like everybody and I think everybody was coming back from you know Partying all night they had to think about wait a minute. What are we doing? Yeah, it's how Kobe showed up as this is who I'm going to show up as I this is a dream team. This is we need to go win gold I need to show up better and through that sometimes you know like people are able to see it like wait a minute

48:43This is somebody who is really dedicated. So it's a really really good example of how to you know Show other athletes as well And and even like like for example your son or like what are you learning out of that? What do you learn out of that? How do you want to show up? And I think it's it's very important when you when you talk about that because Coaches also That's what we want to influence we want to influence At least to be able to think bigger we want to emphasize the aspect of of course you want to help Team win But also if you don't win. How do you go about that? But also reinforcing the small things atomic habits is one of my best book that I really love that book You mentioned the one percent the one percent every day It could be both ways you can eat one bowl of ice cream today and you won't see the difference over time

49:44That you will see the results you can choose to go walk A mile every day today over time But I think when we go back into the fundamental the basics The small things that people can see and say wait a minute If you show up every single day try something. It's not easy in the beginning The train is always uses a lot of energy such as the rocket in the beginning and so is our motivation to get out It's hard the muscles are now willing to but when we want to improve something I always use those examples because A kid would see like wait a minute if I actually did this consistently over time This is what it would result to and so are some of the things that they learn out there If you keep learning the most negative things comparing yourself consistently over time They would amount into frustration and stress so when we talk about that the the point that I'm trying to get to is

50:49that perspective I always ask what do you think about that So when you hear somebody give you that perspective on how They see that sudden scenario or sudden race Then you take go back and help them kind of have a better perspective on that. So I'll give you an example um You know when when fate keep you going was trying to break four hours in a mile. I mean Break the the mile You know to go under four hours in Paris I was talking with an athlete and Their perspective on that was like well, this will never be broken This will never be broken and I was wondering why And I we went a lot inside and and part of that was He and looked at how That would be impossible for women to break that And it still hasn't been broken, but it's getting closer and closer. Mm-hmm. And I asked this specific athlete

51:52When you look at your goals, why do you think you're not breaking certain things yet? You're doing all these things and when we switch the perspective for a growth perspective from a fixed perspective While I live here. So I don't have access to sudden equipment and sudden things But I'm like, but what do you have control over? You have control over the show-in-up being a better teammate being you know um you have Refrigerator food. You have a choice to make when What choice do you make about how you pixels? You know, so when we help athletes with that perspective Of okay, this is so-and-so's journey This is how they show up. I think that helps a lot in you know when you know are reframing things So helping people think about this is what what works best for me and then they can become better that way and so Young athletes their brains are not mature yet and so we have influences coaches to

52:53positively Push them to become better Through some challenges through some setbacks reframe the setbacks and also continue to empower them to say hey Remember when you couldn't run three miles to you know A month ago now you're doing four mm-hmm and that brings a lot of like yeah, I remember that And the other part of it is how we actually praise athletes so In in in running or in sport sometime you may say hey, you look good Um, I don't know if you mean that I look good on what I wear Hmm, but I think really going back and being very specific. Hey, I like how you bouncing the basketball is not so high That helps with more efficiency. I like also how you are maybe moving around the court I like how you becoming more agile more flexible Some of those specific things

53:55People are quick to remember those things I like how your form is going. I like how you're popping your arms when you're running I think when we go into specifics about those small things At least I quickly able to say so and so is watching so it's so it's noticing my my better form now Or the other end too is saying hey, I'm noticing Your form has collapsed a lot of it. I'm wondering what's going on And then being specific about those again Those are some of the things that we can help athletes to see So how we compliment them how we praise them or how we Look at some of the challenges that they may be facing I think it really adds value especially with the younger individuals because they learn from that because I remember one time I had my coach be very specific about something and it changed everything for me. So Again, how we go back around those

54:55praising and encouraging and pointing and giving feedback is I think it's most important Yeah, I think there's something really again powerful but also intentional About how we frame that feedback in a really Effective way. I think a fact is the right word than I'm thinking of here And what I mean by that is it you know How first of all who's the individual how does how do they respond to feedback You know, what's the best way of delivering it in a way that will help them achieve their outcome But also there's something I really like about what you just said and this idea what what I wrote down when you said that was You know catching them doing things right Mm-hmm. I did a training course Almost 10 years ago now in Houston, Texas with a gentleman named Mike Jones It's called discovered leadership and I took so much value from this course But one of the things that always stuck with me was

55:59You know as individuals in the workplace professionals It's very easy for us to catch people doing things wrong Oh, you should have did this you should have done that like It's harder to be deliberate and catch people doing things right And what I find my experience working with young athletes is when I reinforced something they're doing really well And then add in a little bit of feedback about what they could do better. They are so much more receptive to it and It but it takes effort and it takes being intentional in those conversations But the the outcome of that effort is huge because now they're not solely focused on I'm making this mistake I need to figure out this mistake It's more you know, I'll talk about pitching because because that's where I'm most comfortable, but you know You've got your mechanics down in this way really really well Next time let's just try and make this little tweak and see what happens

57:04Mm-hmm. It just it lands with so much more effectiveness. It's just that's and I think Sure kids. I think we all respond like that. Yeah. Yeah Well, I think that's a very good point too when you think about that catching people doing writing and and and really just like that's where Um many younger individuals actually take away a lot You know, it's like hey parents would ask at least hey, how was practice today? Well guess what the first thing they'll talk about Coach complimented me on this and said this is what I'm doing. It's like oh this is good Now I that's a very very good thing to to think about that but also it goes back into in team sports As you think about I've walked with different athletes and sometimes you may ask What is the reason to why you're not playing anymore? Well my coach Say this about me or I don't run because of my experience with my coach and and that is sort of disheartening hearing that

58:07But I think it's just where is the level of trust With the athletes with um with you know with the individuals because if people don't trust that Uh, they don't trust you as a coach. Sometimes they'll go back and say well. I think they're just making it up They just so make make me feel good and and so If you know, I think that's the the bridge the glue that I think a helps coaches and athlete You know to grow better is the level of trust. I've been grateful enough to have incredible coaches in my life I think I'm coaching Because of this individuals who added badly to me of course they pushed me to a level. So I'm like wow But I think I needed a level and part of that is because I had incredible coaches in my life And so I look back and I'm like what are some of the takeaways and that some things are probably my You know, I've changed a lot of it because of you customize it to who you are as a coach

59:10I say all that to say Kids are sponges. They two two different things and coaches are the pivoting They let me change that they are the bridge to helping athletes To reach their greatest level of themselves and I say that because they can also be The downhill for some individuals. So how we give feedback are they ready to welcome feedback Are they in a place where they show up Trying to be better and so every coach is very different again, but I think that's a critical put like Giving feedback when they're ready to receive feedback and when they're doing good. I think That is you know something that I I wrote that down as well. It's like catch them doing the right thing. I think it's just it I think it's very important Yeah, and the other thing about it is as a coach It feels really good. It feels really good to catch your your athletes and your kids doing things right and reinforcing that

1:00:18Like this shouldn't we all want that like that just yeah, it just feels great. So You know selfishly. There's a benefit too where as a coach I leave practice thinking wow the kids worked really hard today. They had fun You know, they did a couple of things really really well More could I want than that? Well, when you give people you receive Whatever you give out you receive you provide something that is more powerful more encouraging more you receive the same thing You know, and that's what I feel as a coach and somebody would say Benson What is the best job that you've ever had? Coaching is the best job that I've ever had mostly because It comes back to me seeing people across the finish line seeing people you know I have at least Signing with colleges and saying wow and you hear back and and you follow them along the journey Sometimes come back and and I've gotten a lot of some of saying that's in my life is better because of this And in the moment you're not really like thinking about it

1:01:20But it comes back to like wait a minute So the impact that you make that is a book called the four agreements that I really really like Number one thing is is the words Can be powerful. So when you tell athletes when you think about yourself Sometimes that's when you become if you think negative And you keep running that in your back of your mind. Guess what that is going to be Well, I'm not good enough or I'm not tall enough or all these things But also as coaches the words that come out of all miles That come in a text while I guess maybe you're not meant for the sport That is a word that could take somebody down into a rabbit hole because People are glued to the negative more they leave more to the negative and so as coaches I think to your perspective is And even parents This is an important point is like parents have very much influence into the growth of an athlete

1:02:22Specifically the younger individuals When I teach the coaching certification courses And more so when I walk with athletes sometime I ask Who is your support system that support system really as human beings We are people who we want to belong we are we want to You know belong and so if that support system if there's a separation be you know with that support system think about somebody who wants to Um, I give an example of my you know I get an athlete saying you know my spouse is not supportive of my activities There would be a disconnect in that space because if they're not supportive of them They're resenting them for God for runs and things like that. So The athlete is not really feeling so much support So when you think about youth and um and you know and parents the number one

1:03:23You know are the the number one support for youth and and and and is the siblings of the parents But mostly the parents because Whatever word that they say to their kids even how parents do show up to Their sport kids do not perform at their best when their parent is yelling from the glitches When their parent is the one throwing things and yelling and doing things and of course that sports But I think when we when The parents are showing up as a support system If they're supporting their apps if they're supporting their coaches and of course there's some irregularities But there's better ways of addressing some of these things It's of actually I've looked at some athletes have been able to quit sports because they are embarrassed of their parents Because they become the talker the town The athletes are always you know, so I say all that to say Relationships are very important and in sports that's who we want to lean into the most is

1:04:25Who is supporting us? So if parents are very supportive of the coach the very supportive of their athlete And athlete is going to show up in the best mental game Are they know they have the pillars that are supporting me now if the parent is the opposite Is the one that's always yelling always saying something always negative The athlete is picking that up and they when they show up they're lucky confidence and so I say that to say That piece of it too when we talk about helping the athlete to become the greatest version of themself It's not just the athlete is the ecosystem. Mm-hmm is the ecosystem. It's who's around them is the coach is is the chiropractor They're always supporting whatever is the ecosystem That builds up the athlete the environment Who the exposure to to the things that they read and things like that So I think that's very important when we talk about youth sports and also across the border with is your environment

1:05:33Place a bigger factor Yeah, and and to build on that How do we as coaches and as parents and those of us who play that dual role Try and create those environments that will set the kids up for success and I think it all goes back to being intentional We need to be intentional with how we show up We need to be intentional with how we communicate and you know, we need to be intentional With with the the effort we're putting in to be that support and to be that ecosystem because It's it's incredibly important You know, I think about So my son is 12 And he plays 14 you baseball 13 14 15 Those are the years when kids start dropping in a sport There's so much data on it. It's it's so discouraging and you've already alluded to it It's already it comes back to maybe a you know bad coaching experience

1:06:36Maybe a bad experience with their parents and their parents expectations and so I just I say that because I think we all need to be super aware of the impacts We have and and how that impacts the future state as well and so I guess you know, what I'm saying is I'm I'm here with you advocating for for great support networks for our kids Because that'll let them truly get the most value out of these experiences Think to that Saying that again. I mean going back to what you just said Go Take your remote and get to you know like turn on your TV Go on social media go everywhere It is a world a lot of full of a lot of negativity sport is one of the most amazing things that it bring out We say running brings people together because again, it's you're going starting line again That is a sport that it doesn't matter who you are

1:07:36Just run And it brings people together sports have an opportunity To change the culture in so many different ways Basketball the team camaraderie changes everything that The basketball team. I mean the the baseball team The culture that is being set up there. It could be the reason somebody's better because of it Mm-hmm, and the support system Why is it so hard to have support systems because this is a good thing now This is a very good thing sports a very good thing now Motivation not not everybody's going to become the best of the best and maybe people are aligned with the sponsor They're not supposed to be doing you know, and again That is you know, that is a different story I say this to say if we all came together and support the youth sports and support Become supportive of this sports Knowing that this is a positive thing because what's the other alternative

1:08:40What if a kid chose I'm not doing sports anymore Where they're going to spend their time There is not so many positive things going on in the wall right now And the sport is where they can find that they're pushing themselves that they're grinding and doing whatever they need to do To become themselves number one thing physically when they get better Mentally they get better Stole said wise they get better too because they find a joy of like oh, I help somebody This When we live in the wall right now where technology is taking over sometime kids don't even know how to talk to each other Guess where they learn to talk to each other in sports The sports teachers communication skills. They teach hard work. They teach Just so many things when you think about so I say all this to say In our sport right now all the sports in the world that we live right now If we empower the younger generation

1:09:43To focus on and and and give people access to this this opportunity And the community and then the parents to rally around this and say let's create an environment where kids do thrive Yeah, let's make a competitive But also let's make it a healthy competitive where if we lose let's check hands instead of throwing rocks Let's show a good example because this is the next generation and the next generation could thrive from a sports perspective and I've met people who Who lead organizations and they Text so much credit to what they learned in sports and I'm like if we can empower younger kids We're really not setting themselves up to just win the championship game But also in the championship of life Yeah, we're building champions of life. Yeah, yeah Benson I don't think true words have been spoken and I just think that is

1:10:44Such a fine point to kind of put the end to our conversation here. I think Such such wisdom and I agree if we can all work together To create these these really healthy environments Then the trickle-down effect of that will be huge I agree and I think It's going back to James clear It's the power of one yeah the one person That if that one person gets better today It trickles down into so many other people so imagine a community Where one athletes get better today because of something and so it trickles down into the environment So again, it has a lot of um, you know, there's so many things that could change So it really goes back into the part of one how do I choose to show up today as a coach How do I choose to show up today as a parent how do I choose to show up today As a not lead how do I choose to show up as an employee and anything that is happening in everybody's life

1:11:50If you choose to show up better This is beyond sports. You choose to show up better today The people around you would notice that and then over time It's all trickles down and that's really a healthy ecosystem to me I love it Benson, thank you so much. Thank you so much for for joining me today It's been a great conversation Um, if listeners are interested in learning more about you about learning um, you know about benzene coaching Like where where's the best place to find you and you know, we'll put these in the show notes as well Yeah, um, again, I appreciate the time. I mean, I could talk about this all day There's something that I'm really passionate about and I'm glad this walk down But anybody wants to learn about um, you know benzene coaching again. We do Mentor performance coaching and we also do run coaching as well So if they're interested You can visit my website again. We'll link we'll be provided also on Instagram and LinkedIn

1:12:52Those are really spaces that I'm really um Focus more on and also Facebook. So um all the links will be provided to you That's why you can find me and also you can also give my email just in case you want a direct act Are you can reach out to me on email as well Sounds great Benson thanks again. This was a great conversation and uh, yeah, look before maybe in the future We'll have you back on it. We'll keep the conversation going awesome. Thank you very much. All right. Take care. Right Thanks for joining me for today's episode of you sports united I hope you enjoyed the conversation If you'd like to support the show the best way to do so is to subscribe Leave a rating or review and share your favorite episodes with friends and parents Dedicate to creating healthy sporting cultures for our kids If you'd like to learn more about my coaching practice head over to jasonmiganis.com slash coaching Thanks again for listening and I'll see you next time on you sports united