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If you jump on and have a yarn with us, dunk is going to get a teta of your face on

his lower back and do a magic mic dance for a retirement village. If you come

through the goods, so if that tickles your fancy like it does mine, fucking

let's go buddy. West up you bunch of beauties. This is Matt from the bottom in the

Canada near Quebec, the shitty part. If you're here in this near your hole, you're

listening to beauties J and on the offer radio. Well, I've got to the podcast let

you do that. That'll be your tea there's great stuff. My fucking

Quebec City is like shit from movies. Like they built this big, it's like a

fucking big fort around it. It's awesome. What? Yeah. And so what ended up

happening is that they, the French had it and then they all fucked off to do

something else. From what this is my rough understanding. So there'll be

something, there'll be some Quebec or Canadians that actually understand this

better from my drunken remembering of it when we set the hammering

personalists into the locals. Basically what ended up happening is that the

British or the English took over they basically sort of overthrew the the

township because it was a big trading area for, you know, like pouts and

fucking whatever as it was. And so they they fucking got on the piss for three

days. And then the French all came back and just found them all hammered and

basically just booted them all out again. And that's how they took it over and

that's how it became Quebec and French speaking out of it. It's a cool

story to start of a mean city. Yeah. This is a war story from my hometown

speaking of hometowns. Hang on for a little bit of admin. Happy Friday.

Yes. Welcome to the podcast. I'm Don't miss J. This podcast contains some

swearing. Yeah. On the podcast today, couple of cracking war stories. We've

got some of your audio messages on the sniper line. You can send them

through to us. There's a link in the show notes. It's the link tree. Click

on that. Send us a yarn for it. Three could be one of our not for radio

country trucker caps. And you would have seen us talk about these individuals

flat white or fuck off. That's great. We managed to catch up with a couple of

the masterminds behind it. Really interesting chat. Really, really funny.

Guys thoroughly enjoyed what it is that they don't and look forward to seeing

the next iteration of what it is that they're doing. Attention snipers, gear

up and hold your positions. It's time to load up some war stories. Your

details from the front line brought to life. Prepare to fire. Just because we

don't know all about us about face as well, but I'll thank the sponsors.

Which is also from my hometown. Yeah, episode brought to you by classic

builders. I've been building homes in New Zealand for over 30 years.

Pretty straightforward. Pretty good at that. War story number one, J. Yes,

this is from Memphis in Toadonger, which is ironic. What is person's name is

Memphis? Okay. Yeah. G'day, fellas. When I was a young lad, my dad had

this big white male goat. At that age, I thought the thing was a fucking

giant. And one day, me and my sister were running around on the paddock as you

do when we see this white goat absolutely be lining it for us. So of course, we

try make it over the fence. My sister did, but unfortunately, I did not. It

doesn't feel too good being thunder counted into a corrugated iron fence, but

at mock dick. So just reading between the lines on that one, if you didn't

pick it up, the goats smashed them into a corrugated iron fence. This thing was a

ride bastard of an animal. So I get patched up few places in a Vegemite

sandwich later and we hear this clanking noise. My dad says, that fucking sounds

like our roof. For context, my dad had a Mark V. Cortina sacked on its ass,

modgies, all the beans, all the beans. We look at the window and the fucking

thing is standing on the roof of my dad's car, dening this shit out of it. The big,

white, fuckface disappeared one day. I don't really know what happened to him,

but I do know goat curry tastes fucking delicious.

Oh my gosh. Fire rack. I set fire with that goat. I took the other

week at the Mesa downtown. It was like an art marketing day at the local beach.

Goat horse. It was like almost at Nepal high. It's he would have been at anyone's

wearing a top hat. And I was like, how many mushrooms have I had today?

10 micro macro dosing in two different things. Yeah, very confusing. That didn't

be. That is sound slightly different and completely unrelated news. Have we got a

couple of voicememories? Will you want to play the flat white of fuck off leds?

No, no, we'll do it. We'll do the snipe line. Here we go. This one here is from,

don't know, we'll find out. Hey, this is Michael Smith. I'm using my real name

because there's so many others. Don't smoke it. I can still stay anonymous.

Anyway, my when my son was about 18 months old. I was watching a football game. And I get

really into my football games. I haven't been a coach. And he comes running in and hands me

a little cherry tomato. He goes, your daddy got you a cherry tomato. Hands it to me. I eat it.

And he keeps running back and forth with tomato after tomato after about 20 of these.

He says, your daddy cleaned you another one. And suddenly the word cleaned stuck out to me. So

I got up out of my chair, followed him down the hall, passed the kitchen, into the bathroom.

And here he is with the box of tomatoes, the lid up on the toilet seat, the scrub brush in one hand,

tomato in another. And he's dipping the brush in the water and scrubbing the little tomato with it.

And he looks up at me with the biggest smile. And he says, here, daddy, cleaned you another one.

Outstanding. I don't eat cherry tomatoes anymore.

Yeah, great message. That is brutal. We'll go up against this one.

Hello, fellas. It's Connor here from the UK. And I made a side tell you this little

more of a more of a war story, I guess. So I'm on the chef. And I was working in a big hotel.

And I, yeah, we had a big function on and there was like a load of, a load of

pork in the oven. And I pulled the tray out and it was like a fucking fat tsunami.

And it's going to all up my arm. I've got third degree bands.

So I've got a tea towel wrapped up and it's got on with it, hey.

Got on with the rest of the service. Got the end of it. My chef is on.

What's on your arm? No, no, don't worry about it. And he's like, no, what the fuck is it?

So I've shown you my arm. And then he was like, you need to get yourself to the fucking

hospital. So I went to the fucking hospital. And I had second degree burns on both my arms.

But I just got on with it, hey. Fuck, he's awesome. We're going to tour that tomatoes.

Oh, we're going to go with the fucking just gone. Oh, my God.

See, I'm just, I love them all, hey. This is like asking to pick your favorite kid.

Fucking, just having like kids helping you out and scrubbing toilet.

Tomatoes with a toilet brush. It's fucking grim.

When you think about it, we'll go that one. We're going to, I mean, you can grace me.

She's the country trucker cap. She got herself a not for radio hit.

Many can't buy at the moment. Oh, Jesus. Just one quick message here before you

get into the flat wide of fuck off lads. So my son was late for nursery today.

That's because his father had to pull over because Jay was talking about a punk rock concert

where someone had to fuck. Oh, fuck.

I'm going to go as well. Yeah. Thanks, Jay.

What was that one? That's the guy that was that was fuck I can't even recount.

It was the entire point of lung bubble. The guy chopped that's right.

Tough. All right. Let's get into the flat wide of fuck off lads.

What an absolute honor and a privilege after standing them up at Huppas one in the morning

that I've decided to jump back on with us Charlie and Will from flat wide of fuck off.

Welcome to not for radio. How are lads? Hi, guys.

Who's whose idea? Because obviously this is the this is the brainchild of both of you,

but somebody must have come up with it in the beginning. Who kind of led the charge and who

decided that flat water fuck off was going to be a good idea? Well, it actually started from a

it's a guy called Rory Sutherland and he's this marketing genius and he basically made a joke on

a podcast about a coffee shop that would just sell flat whites and it was called flat white or

fuck off. Now I heard that and thought, well, how funny would it be if someone actually tried

to make that into a real business? So that's what we're doing now, you know, me, Will,

Luchir and Tom was sort of creating this business from the whole joke that was on a podcast

of this like really famous marketing guy got his blessing started it on social media and it's just

sort of it's been a bit of a snowball really. It's just sort of it's got a bit out of hand,

hasn't it Will? Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, we had no idea it was going to be this big.

Well, we don't. I did. I did. I do recall seeing that seeing that initial clip that popped up

and Duncan does that all the time. He comes up with these sort of wild ideas that just

generally don't get picked up. I came up with another one over the weekend who wants to hear it.

I can't. No, he's he's a sister company for that white or fuck off. Here we go. Yeah.

Honestly, this is worth fucking millions and millions of dollars. So I don't know if you

do we actually want to see if that's the case. God, you know what we're like we're following

I'll just I'll just I'll just hand it out now. What is the number one toy on the planet?

Well, I don't fucking know. Bloody hell. Fucking Lego. Okay. Lego is a bit basically

every fucking kid's house. Lego has been invented. What's the most annoying thing about Lego?

Losing bits. Step into that. Okay. Yeah. What happens if we came up with a Lego vacuum cleaner?

And then so when the bits so you just instead of picking them up or individually and

fucking then them going emery's walk around like you're doing the normal hoovering and it sucks

it up and then drops it into a bucket at the bottom and any of the bits that are too big

it stops from going up because obviously, you know, some of the bits are bigger and you can just

click a button and then it drops off and you drop it into a second bucket. I think we should call

it a Lego or suck off. Yeah, it would do millions. Anyway, good luck with that one guys.

Sucking off Lego. I like it. Yeah, this is great stuff. And so I mean, obviously being being Kiwi's

we lay claim to the flat white being our drink. It's the number one drink when it comes to any form

of coffee drunk drunk in New Zealand and per capita. I think we sit about third or fourth on the planet.

Fuck, we mow through a bit of Java over here. Were you guys fans of the flat white before

creating flat white or fuck off? I know that there is in London already a flat white cafe which is

basically become like a second home for Kiwi's when they are in the UK. Yeah, just classic breets.

We just still everything that's good. From you Kiwi's. So yeah, so flat whites, you know,

they're massively popular drinker over here. But yeah, we're both flat white drinkers now.

We have to drink just flat whites. We can't drink anything else. We're not allowed.

No, I'm a black coffee drinker. I mean, we all love coffee. Number one, we love coffee,

proper coffee, good coffee. But I drink black, Charlie. You're a flat white drinker, Charlie.

I love a flat. I love a flat. I think they're just delicious. You know, the perfect drink that

you guys have created. So what, why order anything else? And that's kind of what we sort of went

when we did the flat white or fuck off thing. We were like, well, you don't need any of a drink.

We did a fair bit of research in about 30, 40% of people of the morning in London drink of

flatty. So yeah, in London, not everywhere, but in London. Yeah. And so that's probably that's

about the same in terms of checking out our census profile. That's about how many Kiwi's

are in London. So that would probably marry up. It's quite quite a few. They head up there to

send money back because the South Pacific pay so once it gets changed from your currency is like,

I can rolling around like Scrooge McDuck. So run us through how the business is going now.

Like how many flat whites are you moving? Yeah, I'm not privy to it. Have you just got the one

shop or you roll them out everywhere? What's the grand grand plans? Charlie, do you want to break the

bad news about how much we have? Well, we have zero, we have zero shops. So we make sense. We've

gone, we've gone one day of trading. So we did a pop up and a jam. We did it. Tottencock rode. It

was like, it's massive pop ups place, massive LED screens like we really wanted to because again,

there's no coffee shop in the world that's really been produced like this just selling flat whites.

So we just thought, let's make a bit of a scene on the coffee side of things and do this pop up

and see if people actually turn up, you know, at the end of the day, we could have done all this and

up. Mum's just turned up and no one else. So we're so glad that we managed to sell 1500 coffees

on the day. Flat whites rolling them out, getting them out there. Super fast. We could give someone a

flat in 30 seconds, which, you know, the average weight time for a London cafe is normally about

five minutes to 10 minutes, depending on whether people are ordering, you know, bloody ice drinks,

black coffees, matcha, all that shit. We don't do any of that here. So yeah, it was an interesting

experiment. It's gone really well and now we're just about to do sort of the end of the month with

Puma. We're going to be at the London marathon at the finish line, their pipe, their pop up,

their serving flat whites. So it's going pretty well to say I just wanted to post a stupid

brand concept on online and not doing anything with it. It's sort of exploded.

So second time you're going to be selling coffees, your teen out with one of the biggest shoe brands.

Some people just go, are you sure it's going to be a thing? I'm like, it seems to be going all right,

you know, keep doing it for a bit longer. See how it goes. So what is the model? Obviously now,

like a variable cost structure, where you're not really investing in bricks and mortar and it's

almost anti-normal business or anti-traditional business. There's another great and great coffee

store in Japan, which is run by people that have like aspergers or something and they dress in

a bare suit and just pass it out a hole in a smashed wall or something. It seems to be that everyone's

getting away from the traditional turn up. And in a world where everyone wants everything,

the way that they wanted and exactly how they wanted and they're not willing to have it any other

way. This flies in the face of everything and maybe a proper cultural change marker.

I mean, possibly. We'll see. I mean, the big plan and you know, Charlie can back me up because

we were going to be wearing bare suits, swearing at people, serving off that way. So I mean, what

we had a big destination up from, which was our pop-up tonal core road. And that was that was a

singular focus. That's where we were going. And then when we hit it, we were like, oh shit,

what's next? So behind the scenes, we've been trying to work out what next is. Like, is this

going to work as a long-term business proposition? So that's what we've been doing the last few

months is trying to figure out where it's going to be, bricks and more display, serving coffees as

fast as we possibly can to the highest possible standards because you can't do one thing, do it

really shit and expect people to show up week on week. You do one sale, you've sold one thing,

you repeat business, you've got customers. And that's what we're trying to build towards is

a sustainable model where we have customers. But whilst we're doing that, we're trying to figure

out what those little things that we can do in between that keep building the brand and keep

people interesting. And also allows us that time to develop that perfect flat white.

We did a fair bit of research on about, was it, 30, 40% of people of a morning in London drink of

flattie. So what's the process at the moment because you want to automate it and have it, or

without it being robotized necessarily, there still needs to be the human touch to it. So you've

got the best practitioners, the best baristas and the best ingredients to make the best product

because like you said, if you do one thing, you've got to do it fucking well because otherwise

you'll have the flat white and then get told to fuck off. Well, and then the people will fuck off.

It all starts with our our key, we friend Thomas DeGarnam, a fire heart coffee based here in London

who make old roast dubbeens. So that's where it all began is working out what the best bean was

for a flat white. And you can't just make flat whites with any old coffee. It needs to be the

perfect bean, the perfect blend for the perfect flat white. Then there's all the science behind

it, you know, the temperature of the milk, the size of the bubbles and your microframe, all of that

sort of stuff, the perfect size, which is a six ounce. And then as you say, you've got to optimise

that process. So it can't just be the long form, but then you can't robotize it and automate it.

So we're trying to balance that whole, you've got to have personality, you've got to have people,

but you've also got to make them super fucking quickly. So we're, we've worked out a process,

we're not going to give it away just yet, but we do have a plan for serving them as fast as

possible and still telling people to fuck off if they order anything else. The business model is

definitely though, fuck about and find out a lot of the time to be honest. I'm not going to lie to you.

It's, you know, we didn't know each other before we started this business. We're all complete

strangers. We'd like, I think the four or four fifth time we met, we were doing the pop up

together in in real life. So it's like no one don't take any business advice from us because we're

absolutely mental. Like we just, we just, we just sort of go and see what happens. I don't,

that's not, that's not an iron vest, the pitch deck, by the way, when we're going to invest in

us, yeah, 100% give us your money, but don't, but don't take business advice from us. You know,

this is a once in a lifetime sort of thing. You're mulling it over during the chair. I think the

thing that appeals to me the most about it is there is a million decisions that you need to make

in a day. And how nice to have one of those taken off. You know, you're like, there's no, like,

wiggle room there when you turn up to the pop up or to the shop whatever ends up being. You know,

exactly what you're getting. It's like, well, when you go to McDonald's now, you look on the

screen and they don't have the prices up there and they've just got their five hero burgers or whatever

it just instead of having them, the million different things they actually have on their menu.

It's just like, it's, it's comforting to know you go, wow, that's not on my plate today. You

got to fucking decide what you're wearing and like, I just, I love that's why I think this is

going to work. I love it. I love it. And there's a fuckload of people in the UK. It'll be fine.

It's taking away that paralysis through analysis, isn't it? Yeah, it takes the pressure of us as

well because if people come into us, we know what they like. We know what they want and they're going

to get it. How nice is it when somebody comes up? Because I mean, obviously there's a certain

amount of stress and probably huge amount of stress when somebody comes up and just tests the

theory or have you just out of, out of sheer frustration towards someone to fuck off even when

they did ask for a flat white and then you can probably back out of that. Oh, sorry, I just,

I was going to talk a little bit of routine there for three people before you asked for a

matrilata. It was muscle memory. It's every barista's dream to tell people to fuck off, okay?

And the baristas that we get absolutely love it. They get too into it sometimes. I mean,

there is some sheer like ferocity in their fuck off sometimes with certain customers,

but it comes back to the finger of, you know, this, this idea that, you know, people want this

liberating finger of like, you know, hospitality is meant to be, the customer's always right,

you know, you try and please them as much as possible. And the hospitality workers get some

absolute shit thrown at them, like ridiculous, what people sometimes treat them like, you know,

people wearing headphones, not really saying hello or good morning. All that stuff we say,

fuck off to no. Listen, you come here, there's signs everywhere that tell you, even at the

pop-up, we have these massive like 10 foot LED screens that had flat white or fuck off and people

still came and ordered like black coffees or lattes or I think we had one person that asked for

matril, you know, it's, it's mental. You just go, no, the fuck off is deserved once you get to that,

that's front of the queue. My, my favorite, out of the pop-up, my favorite interaction was the

police showed up and we're like, oh, fuck off. This is going to be one of those public order

things. We're all going to get arrested, but still content. But no, they loved it. They were asking

for like, I want a cappuccino, fuck off. We want a match, a fuck off. And then they all got their

flat white. Yeah, it was the loudest fuck off of the day, wasn't it? It was the loudest. Yeah.

Presently time, obviously, it's the middle of the night over the year and, you know, we wish you all

the very best of luck. Best of luck with the London marathon, Poma pop-up, that's unreal as well.

And we've given you a couple of nuggets there. So I'm assuming next time we chat to you

between the Lego vacuum and the toasted sandwich or fuck off, you guys have been multi-million years.

So enjoy rolling around and all you manage. Oh, fingers crossed.

I'm looking forward to the next conversation where you're trying to talk through diamond grills

and gold teeth. But we look forward to it nonetheless. Cheers guys, really appreciate.

I'm going to bat now. This is Ben here from the Isle of Man.

Oh, we, and you're listening to Jane Dunck. I'm not for radio.

Oh, I love the addition of the folly work I'm at, you know?

Yeah, well, a bit more of that. And in your own set, I think some a huge fan of those.

If you want to see them through, like we said, the start of the episode, show notes, link

tree, and then click the send us a yarn. And you could be one of yourself, one of those not for

radio heads. Big weekend, we're at supercars later this afternoon. And then we've got three days

of V8s, baby. Yeah, it's exciting. The first time it's been to Ruppona.

Yeah, they did like a few million dollars with upgrades to the track to make them be able to

take the big beast that are the Aussie supercars. And ironically, we are going to be staying in the

same hotel complex as showbos teagues as she is over with her team, who actually one

tople, which was last weekend's round. Or one, one, one of the races, second race.

Yeah, Ryan would've got first and Chas Mossett came third, which is awesome.

It's the first time that Toyota, who are new to it with the super is have top the,

well, one race is among the podium, which is fucking awesome. So she's gone to the right team,

which is awesome for showbos teagues. I'm kind of hoping as well that maybe we'll be able to

have a chat because it's a real niggly when we get to the track because of the cyclone that came

through last weekend, that to bump one of the racers to Friday afternoon. So normally Friday afternoon

will be practice qualifying top team shootout for the race on Saturday. But now I believe it's just

qualifying and then race. And so they've added an extra race. So there's a race this afternoon.

Then there's two tomorrow and a longer one on Sunday. The one on that like all the first three,

37 laps. The last one's like 60 something. You'll be able to watch it on, you know, wherever you are

in the world. I'm sure we can find a stream for it. But it's going to be huge. We're going to

the bloke that owns super cars, Barclay, also owns MediaWorks, the radio company we work for.

So he's going to be the only owns half of this podcast. Yeah. And we're going to be in his box,

which is going to be awesome. Benny Boy is going to be doing a hot lap. Let's see that's absolutely

locked and loaded, which is awesome. 11 o'clock later this morning. Can't wait. Yeah, let's have a

massive night out. I'll get two hours sleep, then jump in the V8.

It's so much. I've done a hot lap with Greg Murphy around Robota. Wow. And I, I want to say an

NZ. It's a similar thing just slightly slower than what these guys are going to be going.

And so I love it. It's the exact same car. Because you know how sometimes I go, we've got a hot lap

car that we just get the arse thrashed off it by, you know, the drivers for media appearances

and whatever it is. This is the cars that they race in. They put it over the season. And then they

just fucking feed it. I, to be honest, I've, I did a hot lap once at Puka Kuhi, which is now closed.

And I wasn't like a Porsche Cayenne or some sort of SUV. It was the safety car for the weekend.

That thing fucking hauled us and they had oversized brakes on us. So they were just getting to

the end of the straight doing well over 200 and just jamming the anchors on and getting it round.

And I was like, I just have, we were lining up to do them and then up would pull us supercar.

And then even now and then this people would have to jump in the safety car and I fucking got

the safety car so off it. And then the thing was actually really big. It was super fun.

Yeah, I think I had, I had a Jamie Winkup hot lap of the Red Bull car, which was wicked.

Yeah, we were supposed to go, um, be down in Queenstown yesterday, but might make it work and

do some hot lap with the Red Bull drivers. Um, the other thing that's, I was sort of,

we'll talk about this on the radio show this afternoon as well. But I reckon we should be trying

to, um, buy some old parts from the V8. She didn't have showbos teaks.

There's like clutches and shit on a hanging in her bedroom, because that much of a fan.

Well, I've stripped wheel nuts and that sort of thing. Oh, let's go bigger like a,

so if someone crashes, try and get the bonnet or a fucking bumper and we'll try and drag that

through the plane on the way. That's gonna say sweet. But then we can give it away on the radio show,

back on Monday. Fucking awesome. Yeah, how does this seem to hath anywhere?

Like a fucking bonnet. I'm sure there's plenty of people listening to this podcast right now that

no, it must be hard because I've paid 50 bucks shipping to the UK for one of our heads.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Um, so yeah, that's sort of the plan for the next couple of days with

there for three days. But um, follow the rock drive on Instagram, which is our radio show.

And the, the idea is, and Myers coming down as well, there's their, our stories are just going to

be like a bunch of full stops across the top of the screen. Gonna try and take you on the journey

with us. You can tell the excitement levels for her. Just going through the roof.

That's ready to get a good digital plan to get ahead of where you read over that. She's done

more work than all of us put together on a digital plan. To read that, Jay. Absolutely not. You

should know that. I'm not a detail. You ever read a plan. Yeah. Just keep it broad. I hope it

pre-yes. Just give me the intro, the outro and say fucking action. And I will deliver like a

postman, which is now none of them because they're all unemployed. Do you know? I know this is

first world problems, but I'm trying, I'm hoping that I can top my experience at the corporate

box at the Warriors the other week where I was watching, I didn't realize that watching League

get any better. I was going to free beer and low and slow pork belly intents. And I was like,

this is fucking living another time I had it. And I was, I was eating KFC at full-slope bar,

sat in watching the highlanders play rugby game. And I was sitting in the stand with a bucket of

chicken. I was like, fuck, this is maxing out. This is pretty good. This is levelled up.

So I just want to see if I can sort of, you know, find a version of that in the box this weekend

at the Supercars. I reckon seeing if you can just finish a vessel in the time to take someone

to do a hot lap while you're in the passenger seat, that would be epic. We can't go spill it.

They're like 700,000 or like a 1.5 million dollar cars. You can't go and spill a point through one.

Why don't you just fucking chop your passenger, it's brilliant. Mine you, the drivers,

pissing them in long races, maybe not in the weekend, but bathers, they're definitely

personal. Imagine in those bathers races where you jump, like jumping out and jumping into your

co-drivers, pissed. They've got a little cushion, so they've pulled a cushion out. It's kind like a,

you know, if you're living in a apartment, you've got a cat, you've got the one of those weird little

kitty little cushions. Depends. Yeah. It's just a nappy cushion. I'm just sitting in your own

purse just dissolving your ass. Imagine how tricky it would be, like, because, you know, it happens,

like if you get the shits or whatever and you're racing bathers, which is the biggest race of the

season for these V8s, and then you're like, I have to go, but how, and you would, because you just

carry on racing, you know, you want to put your team in the best position. You're not going to pull

over a shit in the middle of the great race. Imagine how hard it would be to concentrate. You're like

going down corner, and you're like, okay, you've pinned corner at the end, you're like,

shitting yourself like it's even feeling up and you're trying to remember when to break and stuff,

like it would be so, so tricky. That would have happened. Yeah. You're not telling anybody if it

happens, but you're going stucking out and getting suit number two on. Yeah, I've never been caught

in a surf company needing to take a, take a shit, but I definitely want to trick it in a wet suit.

Yeah. Well, I definitely trick in a wet suit, but most conscience of your embodies,

but you shake it out the monkey tail. Yeah, I punched one out in the surf line up before.

Just after a real big night, just feeling real dusty. Not in a competition. Actually,

this is just taking an aqua shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just down the boat.

You just climb off the board, get yourself submerged, get yourself naked. I hope you don't

lose your wet suit and go for your life. Okay. So you are completely taking the wet suit off.

Well, we're we're peeling it down to below your butt cheeks and you just hold just

have yourself over the board like what's the name did on Titanic on the door.

I don't think she was taking a dump though. There is just a shit person didn't let him on.

Yeah, on that note as well, just you might know who it is, but a four-time World Longboard

champion followed us on not for radio a couple of days back for you to hit the name.

Well, Taylor Jensen, does that ring a bell? Yes, it might be.

Taylor Jensen is a person who I idolized. I first saw him serve and this is just to follow him.

Yeah, but of a backstory. So Taylor Jensen is, Taylor Jensen is one of those athletes.

So he's an American. So he could have been, he basically got scholarships for basketball,

baseball, American football, fucking, you name it and chose surfing. Amazing. And he is he is

easily one of the greatest Longboarders of all time. And he is married to, well,

Nava Jensen now, but was another young who is Nat Young's daughter, who was prior to him,

one of the greatest Longboarders of all time. And he is consistently pushing the envelope for

what Longboard surfing and surfing in general is the bloke fucking rips. I first saw him when he

came out for a Oxbow event, which was at Raglan. And he was, he was 18 at the time, surfing

against Joel Tudor, which is arguably one of the bigger names in Longboard surfing. And was just,

in my opinion, just fucking lighting the place up and got knocked out to him and I couldn't believe

I was like the injustice of it all. And then ended up surfing with him in a couple of events when

they'd come over, there's a big, I think it might have been like a three three star event in New

Zealand, which was part of a Longboard tour that would count towards international ratings.

And so he had come out, met him, became mates. And now when we went over to his, his parents are in

San Diego and Delmar and when we're over there, he lent me one of a bunch of his boards to borrow.

And I love this TJ pro model these guts. That is now the board that I surf as one of his that he's

seen. Wow. Yeah. So there is a little wee tie in there. Yeah. He's a fuck if you want to have

your mind blown because everyone's like the Longboarding. Yeah, my dad's got a Longboard. He's 140

kilos and barely fucking stands up. I know what Longboarding is. You don't know fuck all about Longboarding

until you see Taylor Jensen surf a Longboard. Okay. One last thing we're not going to do a war

story to finish off because the episode's already been gone. Actually in the show, I'm going to put

Taylor Jensen's Instagram account so you can see the bloke surf. He fucking rips. And he's a

unit like he's a big fucker. Might have even been ice hockey or something. He's like the bloke

looks like six six and he's taking pee protein. So I've been taken a bit of that. I'm like huge

fucky. Many old pep hut. Hey, it's funny, it's funny story. During COVID, he was living in Costa Rica.

And I was like, how's COVID feeling going? The biggest fucking problem that we had during COVID

was monkey stealing our shit out of our house. Yeah, monkey tasers. Awesome. We come back and

they'll be like, fuck the back. And they just fucking grab shit. Now on the subject of people following

us, you might have missed a couple of weeks ago, Channing Tatum followed not for radio. And yeah,

my mouth just dropped out. You don't know that. Oh, funny. Don't slid into his DMs with a voicemail.

A couple of Friday's back and just got the left on scene. Sorry, it is your turn, Jay.

So sorry, but he's probably going to be a busy guy man, mega famous. It's got 15 million

followers on Instagram. Exactly. There'll be three fucking personal assistants going through

bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Oh, no, fuck. You've got to have your own. What are

you reckon they're running a shadow account? No, well, they just have people running a shit.

Yeah, all right. Time for you to fucking piss them which probably is probably going to be like this.

Your turn. We'll just keep going until we get them on. Oh, the voicemail was just pd. Can't say it,

but it did sing on my head. Got it. Now, here's your one here. Oh, yeah. Can we play it?

Don't, fuck, just send him another one. No, I want to play it. Just over here. Hey, man,

can I give you a resty? Channing, Jane. Don't care from the not for radio podcasts. It has been

brought to our teacher that you now follow fucking this account, which is outstanding. We would

bloody love to get on the podcast for a chat. You will probably be way too fucking busy for that,

but I'm sure all of us would love to hear. Packed it like a broken nose. Yeah. And just do a random,

whitehearted, absolute bullshit talking chat that we in the side that we do in the podcast. Hope

you well, mate. Chat zone. Hopefully. Have a great weekend. That's right. So this is how you get it

done. Get a chatting. I can see that you saw the message that don't sent you on me. Fuck that

and understandably so. Have I got a deal for you today? If you jump on and have a yarn with us,

dunk is going to get a tattoo of your face on his lower back and do a magic mic dance for a

retirement village. If you come through the goods. So if that tickles your fancy like it does mine,

fucking let's go, buddy. See, send that through. That's good because one thing he probably isn't

listening to many episodes. One thing he will find out about us, a lot of hotty and no follow

so we'll get the interview and won't fucking hold up. They are into the bargain.

Be a minimum. If we get him on, the tattoo is a little bit on extreme, but you have to dress as

magic mic and go to a retirement village and do a strip dance for a... That's too horny,

those old people retirement villages. I'll be too much for that. Just as general consensus,

obviously this isn't a dictatorship. This is a democracy that we're running here and not for

radio. If you would like to see dunk do that in the event the chain Tatum does have a chat with us.

Just less, no, we're sliding into the not for radio of DMs. It's probably one of your worst ideas

if I'm going to put your arms with you. Some of you noticed we don't do any wacky stuff,

but you as magic mic. We've just seen a genuine ponia some shit with the fucking make my year.

Not that I've ever done stripped like T's dance, hearing like that, but if you've ever done a

sexy dance for Dixie, fuck no. What I have started doing was I fucking get laugh out of the boys

and so one morning when they were all sitting at the breakfast bar and they were like,

I don't know how it came up. I must've been just in my jocks or something served in my breakfast

and they're like, oh they sometimes get me to flex my pecs and make my boobs move because

mum can't do it and so they always get me to do it. And then Frank looked at me and go,

six, seven with his hands and I was like, fuck, I don't know what I'm going to do,

lean over, put the titties on my hands and go, six, seven, they're all hailing with laughter.

So that's like that's a bit of a fan favourite. That'll make the buddy old duck slip off the

wheelchairs. And then it's not a really the episode next Monday, dunk's going to six, seven

is naked tits on the camera. Fuck on there for it. At least someone else.

Yeah, I'll get my violinese dog tits out as well. This is like a fucking just

fathered 30 litters of illegitimate. Yeah. Gravity titties. Oh mate. That's what I said,

this is like I've mentioned it before, but we did this Taylor Sarage went for a driver

Taylor Sarage and one of my mates, Brad, who's, who's illegitimate and miserable fuck he goes.

It's not one of those videos that you see where boy racists take checks with big tits for a spin

and their boobs got up underneath the chin and they go real fast and they jump down and he's like,

but you're the check with the tits. Did you say the exact same thing two days ago on the podcast?

Yeah, I said, they said it on the radio about four times as well.

So those are down sniper elite just giving you the insight into my tech.

Don't give them all the good stuff mate, they're going to pay for that.

When you get them, sure, my ariolas will be going on the paid potty on Monday,

six, seven tits with Duncan Hyde. And on that note, we would like to thank

episode sponsors. Thank you very much, classic builders. Without you, this wouldn't happen.

Believe it or not. They've been doing it for over 30 years. They can do like a house of land

package, house and design, which means you get to build the thing exactly how you want as well.

No punisher. Can I promise you as well? No punishing hard sell just practical advice.

And if you're if you're overseas and you're wanting to get New Zealand residency,

they can put together a five million dollar package for you kiwi and that will get you instant

residency just saying, could be JST. I'm not too sure. Listen to half the leave of quarter.

Have a fantastic weekend. Make sure you check out the rock drive story set on Instagram and

Facebook. We'll be going berserk this weekend. It's super cars. Go well. Go long and up the

was. Up the was.

Um, and then it's not really the episode next Monday. Duncan a six, seven is naked tits on the camera.

Fuck on there for it. At least someone else. Yeah, I'll get my violinese dog tits out as well.

So I got a fucking just five, five and 30 letters of electronic. Yeah. Um, and then

snipe, relieved episode next Monday. Duncan a six, seven is naked tits on the camera.

Fuck on there for it. At least someone else. Yeah, I'll get my violinese dog tits out as well.

So I got a fucking just five, five and 30 letters of electronic. Yeah.

And then it's not really the episode next Monday. Duncan a six, seven is naked tits on the camera.

Fuck on there for it. At least someone else. Yeah, I'll get my violinese dog tits out as well.

So I got a fucking just five, five and 30 letters of electronic. Yeah.