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I'm Quitting Alcohol — 6 Years 305 days - Product Review. Machine-transcribed; use the interactive transcript above to jump the player to any line.
Alright, you are back with Comedian Devoil and I'm quitting alcohol. So I've destroyed today a full week of consistent, disciplined podcasting and eating. It's fucking midnight and I just didn't get the chance to do it today. I fucking spent the day with my daughter, my wife took my son to soccer. I thought I would remove myself. I thought I would extract myself from this scene today and just let my son play a free happy game of soccer.
So I didn't go me, my daughter stayed here, stayed home, I put her in the bath for like an hour and a half, just cranked up some fucking K-pop demon hunters and got some time on the couch. It was sweet but I just didn't get around to it. And then also my wife has been making this banana bread, no sugar in it, just banana, dates and bread while flour and like it's fucking even that's too much for me. I'll start off with one slice and then the next thing you know of nailed the whole loaf and I'm not joking the whole loaf. Today she fucked it up a little bit so it didn't come out too good and no one else wanted any and it should have just gone in the bin except I ate it. And so that threw me a little bit off as well, fucking I don't know have I destroyed a whole
week's work with one banana fucking loaf maybe, I don't know. The three bananas in it and there's like five dates and a cup and a half of flour. No sugar, no sugar but to me because I don't fucking eat sugar it tastes so goddamn sweet that it might as well have sugar. It's fucking delicious but I can't control, I can't even control no sugar banana bread. So that's it, I was looking at my whoop today, I actually do do a bit of whoop time now. It's like I don't know, there's a couple of things that I've really enjoyed technology wise since I got here one of them's this fucking coffee machine, it's a nest cafe or it's a nispresso but it's the virtual machine and I just drink black coffees.
This thing makes the best fucking shot a coffee outside of like a fully decked out professional barista like someone who actually knows what the fuck they're doing, not just any rando can't stand behind a fucking coffee machine. I mean, this thing out makes 99% of baristas, baristas for the most part are like doctors. They don't know what the fuck they're doing. 99% of fucking doctors are dog shit and same with baristas. So this virtual machine and that's the important part. It's a virtual nispresso virtual machine, the capsules are fucking expensive. The machine's not too expensive, we fucking got it for like 60 or 70 bucks of some kind of Facebook marketplace, but it works on some spinning technology or some shit and you
put it in and it comes out with this fucking frothy shot of coffee and it's just so good. I fucking wake up every morning and I'm so excited to have a coffee. It's so goddamn good. So I've been impressed with that machine and then also this whoop. This whoop is like having a fucking personal trainer and encourage a motivator. It knows exactly what you're doing, which is also scary and I'm not generally into that sort of shit, but I'm such a fucking useless can't that I need to be monitored. I need to be monitored 24 seven and told and saying, look, look, can you get to bed a little bit earlier 3 a.m. for the last five nights and row is not going to work for us here at whoop. Okay. And then it gives you this age, it gives you how hard you're aging and I was always a little
bit under, but recently, because I've been really training fucking hard and I've been trying to improve my sleep a little bit. I've got a whoop age of like 39 and I'm almost 42 like I don't look 49. I think that's just internal. I look old, especially if I don't have my hat on. If I have my hat on, it's actually not too bad, I can pass. If I take my hat off, then it's like, oh, okay, yeah, I see what's going on here. The cunt's old, he's got fuck all hair, he's wearing a hat, he's trying to fucking slide one past us, but this fucking whoop thing, it tells you everything, everything you need to know the stress, what to do to reduce it, what you're doing during the day, how much you need to improve, like it just, it helps being able to look at something and figure out what the fuck's going on. And it's just released this new fucking feature where it does your blood work and I've been
meaning to do fucking blood work for fucking years, but I just don't know. I don't know what to get and what to do, so I've never done it and I don't even know what to ask for. I don't know what I'm looking for, but I just know I need to do blood work for some obscure reason, but they do it through the whoop app, so you just fucking click a button and then it takes you to the fucking booking site for some quest place to do your blood thing, like it all happens in like a day and then they fucking upload it, all your fucking like 65 metrics, like your testosterone, your free tea, your fucking vitamin D, all that sort of shit. And they put you in the ranges, they show you what ranges you're on and like if they're good or bad and then they get a doctor to overview it, this is like a week later, they
look at your bloods and then they set out a plan on how to improve whatever needs improving. So fucking the old whoop 39 might get down to like whoop 37 and a half or some, you know, it has been a good thing for me. I can't explain to you how hard it has been for me to get my sleep on track. I thought it was just going to be something like I'll just start sleeping earlier, but it's so ingrained in me to stay up late that it's really, it has been an absolute fucking shit show trying to get to bed early. I've just done two seven and a half hour sleeps in a row. That's the first time I cannot even remember. I've had the woop for like 120 days or something. That's the first time except for when I first got it, when it was like fucking Chris Miss or some shit, when I got to sleep in, since then it hasn't happened once.
Anyway, fucking, that's my review. No paid promotion here, just fucking products, products with the boil seal of approval. Anyway, fucking that'll do it for tonight and I'll see you the fuck later.
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