592 - How to Say Yes to Yourself

In this episode, we look at how to prioritize yourself and say no to others more often.

The Problem

I often struggle with prioritizing myself and making decisions that I actually want. It sounds silly right? It should be easy to prioritize myself. It should feel like the simplest thing in the world to check what I want in a situation and act accordingly. But it’s not.

Maybe it’s because I like avoiding conflict. And it’s not just me, many people around the world avoid conflict at all costs. Conflict is uncomfortable, it’s scary, and anything that might lead to conflict is seen as wrong. Speaking up for yourself? That’s a big no no. Saying no to a request? Wouldn’t dream of it. Changing your mind about plans with friends? That’s rude.

It’s built into our culture but it comes from very deeply rooted survival mechanisms that drive us to take actions and say things that may lead to being liked or accepted.

Digging Deeper

We live in a world that does not reward no. We live in a world that works only if you comply with the system. As a result, in our day to day lives it can be increasingly hard to prioritize ourselves, say no to those around us, and say yes to ourselves.

But it is possible to get better at this and to start pursuing the life that you really want rather than living your entire life in response and service to everyone else.

While I’m no expert at this and cannot even begin to understand all of the varying situations of people listening to this podcast. I can at least share what I’m personally doing to get better at this. Hopefully you can find something in this to apply to your own situation.

The Solution

1. Get Clear on What You Want
2. Compare Requests to Your Ideals
3. Advocate for Yourself
4. Choose to Compromise or Say No

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