0:00He was the man I couldn't quit tall blue eyes and 100% toxic. We were like fire and gasoline. He ended up designing the custom ring I'd fallen in love with years earlier. When I brought the ring home to show my mom at first she acted thrilled. My sister wasn't shocked at all. She'd known I'd love that design since I was 16. I'd always joked I just needed to find the man. Around Christmas that year my sister came to visit and my mom was showing off new jewelry. It was basically my engagement ring. Hey guys welcome back to another episode of Here Comes the Drama. I'm your host, Krista Ennis. Before we get into today's episode I want to remind you to join our one-year anniversary giveaway in order to enter just make sure you subscribe to the podcast, subscribe to my YouTube channel and then comment on our anniversary episode. You'll see a link down the top of our YouTube channel. That's where we post all of our full videos of the podcast and we all share it there.

1:01It's just a way to give back to you guys. We're going to have three winners a $150 visa gift card and two winners of a $25 Amazon gift card. So make sure you enter the winner will be announced March 12th. So you still have one week to enter. So this is your last week to enter for that giveaway. All right on today's episode I am joined by Beth Hofberg and you know when you meet someone and you just get that instant connection where you feel like you could talk to them for hours. That was Beth for me. I also and I looked at the time and I was like oh my gosh I just realized we've been talking for like almost two hours. She's such a light but she's so smart. She's so kind and I know I just really enjoyed talking with her. She had so much to say we'd so much to just talk on. So a little bit more about Beth. She is a trauma-educated certified life coach, intuitive tarot reader, professional astrologer, and someone with a master's degree in marriage and family therapy who helps people heal from past experiences and build healthier romantic relationships. But she doesn't just bring insight.

2:05She's lived through wedding drama too. So of course she shares some of the experiences that she has from her wedding, including demoting her maid of honor. So that was a real story that she had to share with us that was handled in a very mature way. You might know her as intuitively Beth on TikTok or she'd houseable figure out if their love connection is truly aligned and she does so many other readings there as well. We also dive into soulmates, healing, relationship, red flags, and what actually makes a partnership last beyond the wedding day. Plus at the end of the episode, Beth does a fun little intuitive reading for the audience that you won't want to miss. So without further ado, here's my episode with Beth. Enjoy. Hi, Beth. Thank you for being here. Thanks for having me. I'm so excited to talk to you because I feel like there's so many different areas we can go with. But like starting off, I always see your tarot videos and I find they're so interesting. I don't really know much about tarot growing up and then like I'd more and more friends kind of tell me about it and I just think it's so interesting.

3:07So first before I jump the gun, can you just say a little bit about yourself who you are, what you do in your background? Yes. So my name is Beth Hoffberg, but on TikTok, I'm intuitively Beth and I have been a certified life coach for over 10 years. My background actually is in psychology. I have my bachelor's in psych and my master's in marriage and family therapy and I worked like corporate jobs for a long time, but even as I've been getting like more and more into astrology, I'm like, oh my gosh, my chart is made to be an entrepreneur. And so I started my own businesses in the first one I started was in 2016 and I've been doing various things since then, but I started practicing tarot at eight years ago now and then really just for myself. And then as the time has gone on and I've just like felt called in different directions and gone through my own healing process and things like that, I'd really been focusing on it more. I love helping people who have gone through trauma, get more in touch with their intuition. It's so hard after you've experienced

4:09trauma to like trust yourself again. I think a lot of times people are like, how will I ever trust somebody else, but really it's so much about how do you trust you and getting in touch with like your spirit team or whatever source you want to talk about it as. That's something I really like helping people with and that's something I really had to work through after going through my own traumatic experiences. About two years ago, I'm coming up on my two-year TikTok anniversary is when I started on TikTok and I just started with tarot because that seemed like that was the place I really wanted to focus, but lately I've been doing more and more astrology, like mixed with tarot from my clients and that's like my favorite thing to do is astrology and tarot combined because I think that there's so many powerful messages from both. Yeah, I find it so interesting. Like I was kind of saying, I feel like growing up, everyone knows like their son sign and for anyone that's like listening, you know, that's your birth date, right? Yes. So I'm in Virgo because I'm August. I remember always hearing like, oh, other people were Virgo too. I'd be like, well, I don't really know if I believe in astrology because I know they're Virgos and we're so different. Then I started learning about like your rising sign, your moon and I'm like, and I would read about that and I was

5:10like, wait, it's kind of clicking now. So yes, I don't know what your moon and rising are. Yes, I'm a Sagittarius moon and I'm a Libra rising. Okay, it's funny because at one of my corporate jobs, like we're talking three, four years ago now, my assistant also named was Christa. She's still here. Christa. She's still here. She was actually on the podcast a while back, but I remember like starting like sharing like different like astrology things with me and that's when I kind of learned more about like rising sign and she's like, yeah, we're both rising Libras and that's why I think like we like kind of vibe because we're very forward-facing friendly and I was like, wait, what is this mean? So I find that so interesting. I think when people learn more about it, it's really just like learning more about yourself in a way, right? Yes. Oh, it's so funny because now that I remember that episode because I have listened to every single one of my favorite guilty pleasures, but once you said Libra rising, I was like, oh yes, I remember this because I have found that a lot of times women that I find very interesting or that I feel like I would be

6:14like interested in talking to our Libra rising. And in my birth chart, Libra is in my 11th house, which is the house of friendships and networks. And so I just feel like that's a lot of times where that resonates in my totally like kind of friend compatibility or networking compatibility. But yeah, my Sunsign is Aquarius, my boot is Leo, and my rising sign is Sagittarius, and then you can go deeper and deeper, like your Mercury sign, your Venus sign, your Jupiter, who's your chart ruler? What aspects do you have? There's so much more to it and the more that you dive in, the more you can see how it's so nuanced. And I agree if you just look at just your Sunsigns, I think it is basically meaningless. Because I can't think it's time to like anyone or anything really. But yeah, when you kind of start feeling those, you're peeling those layers, you can kind of learn a little bit more. And I feel like a lot of times it's like kind of taboos, the right word, but growing up, it's kind of like this weird thing, right? But I feel like more and more people are realizing it's healthy and it's good to learn about yourself in these different

7:15layers. And it's kind of just how the universe works. I feel like, I don't know if that really makes sense. But I love that you come from like a background of therapy, psychology, and astrology. So it's like tying them all together. So when you get someone, you're coming from multiple directions of being able to help them out or look intuitively in some ways. Yeah, that's my lens. And I think that's even from why like diving so deep in astrology, the surface level of just knowing the sunset and does not resonate with me, but I don't like being surface level on any of the things. So even from psychology, like I think a lot of times people are familiar with the Myers-Briggs test. Yes. And from my background, I do not like that test because it doesn't have very good like the validity and reliability. Like the test results are not very good. It's like not really the best test. And the people who made that test did it to try to prove their own hypothesis, which is not how you want to make personality assessments. And so I actually really got involved

8:17in like what really deep on this other assessment called the Strengths Finder. And now sometimes it's called the Clifton Strengths Finder. And that's actually where I became my certified life coach programming. And it has three, four different strengths and every strength is a positive. And it's so much more nuanced. So like I come from that lens to trying to dive really deep to the surface level is not enough for me. So being able to take all of the strengths that somebody has and put them into action because we all have strengths. We all have our vulnerabilities. I think that's also part of astrology, right? Like a lot of times we'll have the tropes about a certain sign like areas, for example, people like oh they're so aggressive and hotheaded because we look at the negative. But the strength of areas is like they're going to take action and they're going to fight for good things and like if you're in that higher realm of it, that's really good. I like to think of it as the balcony versus the basement. And so trying to take that strength approach and then also bringing in the trauma lens. So it's a lot of multi layers,

9:17but my Aquarius mind likes that. I love they say that because my daughter is in areas and it was so funny because she was late. So she was like going to be a Pisces. It was kind of weird like line. But one of the things I always read was like they're so strong wells. And I friends that are areas too, but they're strong willed. And I was saying to my husband their day, I was like it's funny because the things that you like necessarily don't want them to be as a toddler but the things are kind of like okay let's step back. Let's take a breath. You want those things for when they're older. Use your voice. Be strong. Like don't back down from people that set your boundaries. So like all the things that she's like testing right now like boundaries. I'm like when she's older, these are going to be so powerful. She's going to be so strong willed in like that good way. She's not hold strong to her values and whatever that looks like for her. So I love that you say that because it really is the angle of how you're looking at it. Yeah. And she's lucky to have you as her mom to teach her boundaries in such a healthy way because obviously that's such a big part of what you teach in your content too. Yeah. Definitely. Yeah. And I'm working. I'm

10:19learning myself as a recovering people pleaser as well. When people come to you for whether it's tear reading or therapy. Like what do you think most people come to you for? Because it's love. Is it soul? Like when we were talking before about like soulmates like questions about career life. What do you think most people come to you for? So my most popular is love. That also I think tends to just be because that's how TikTok pushes out right. But a lot of times my most recurring clients are going to be people who actually do want to dive in deeper. So we'll work on all the areas of their life and really like bring in the astrology and look at maybe if they're trying to make a big decision or even manifest sometimes with some clients. I'll also work on tapping with them. I don't know if you're familiar with EFT tapping. Basically it's emotional freedom technique where you can kind of rewire some of the traumatic beliefs that you've had. It's part of like somatic therapy work. And so that's something that I will sometimes work on with people again not

11:19in like as a therapist but more as a coach. And that's something that I will also work on with people sometimes to just kind of rewire their beliefs and help them as they're trying to kind of take those traumatic experiences and then like put them in to believe in that. That doesn't have to be their story forever. That can be really hard. But yes definitely lots about love. Is this person my soulmate? Is this person coming back? Things like that. That's a common question that people have. The thing is especially because if somebody has found me on TikTok they've likely seen other terror readings on TikTok also and those are very common readings that come upon people's FYPs and despite what a lot of other readers will say I don't think that just because a video comes up on your FYP that that means it's for you. And then that's actually kind of spiritually manipulative because I'm sure when you are scrolling on your FYP there's times that you get a video and you're like I don't want to watch that and you just scroll by. Not every video that's on your FYP is actually for you that algorithms constantly testing it. And the same thing is true for tarot or any other spiritual message. You have to use your discernment and that's another big

12:22thing that I like to teach on that you got to learn our discernment. It's not like yeah if you're like happily married to see a video that's like break up with him you're like oh my gosh I got to break up with him it's like look at your own situation does that apply? No okay scroll or vice versa if you're looking for that. Exactly. It's an axe you're like oh my gosh well my axe was toxic but it says my I'll take everything you see online with green assault because I feel like yeah I just made a video the day that was like not everything you see is made for you watching something and you're like what are they called the black bean theory? Like do you watch something like a bean soup? The bean soup theory yeah and you're like I'm allergic to beans well this video's not for you or apply to something else. Yeah I think we live in the day and age where it's like you feel like they have to comment on every single thing even if it doesn't necessarily apply or have nothing to do with them and it's okay. And then the algorithm because you did comment on it thinks that it is for you so then you keep getting more of it and then you get even more in like the dilulu so yeah I think that is something I do try to help people with that try to be really specific and then of course if somebody's getting a personal reading then you know it's for you

13:26it's only your energy and your spirit team's energy and no one else though. Yeah that's very helpful. Do you do like in person like you do them through social media? So if someone's hiring you to do a terror reading do you do like digital? Do you do in person? Do you find they're the same or different in that way? I do it all digitally because that was something that I found was really needed for my own health. I previously was diagnosed with PTSD and something that I found in terms of like reclaiming myself was being able to just like be fully free and setting my schedule and operating when like my nervous system was regulated and also in operating when I feel spiritually attuned I'm not you know unable to be like if there's certain astrological transits that are happening sometimes that makes me be like oh my god it can tap into easily and sometimes I'm like this is a fog I'm not going to read for somebody right now so I don't like to schedule people because I like to be able to read for people when I'm like I am in my power right now let's go and so people will purchase something from me on my website fill out

14:28their questions and everything and then I can just set the exact ambience but I need for myself and I record it and then I send them a link that they can watch as many times as they want so I think a lot of times people like that because then they can sit with it they can pause they can reflect on the message I just finished doing a bunch of 2026 year ahead readings and those are 90 minutes of recorded video it's too much to take in in one sitting yes and understand everything some like pause it here and then take notes for the next part and yeah so that's how I like to personally do it and then I can also make sure that I'm really like tapping into their energy and I do a lot of energetic cleansing in my own space I always have crystal grades and you know stuff like that so yeah I love that yeah I feel like that's really powerful and it's true like if you do like an in-person reading I mean I feel like the same about like a therapy session or something so as you're like wait what do they say about this yes you know so I feel like that's really good about being able to watch it and like pick it apart and be like hey what does this mean how can I tell you to my own life how does it supply and answering those questions you

15:32know for yourself too exactly and sometimes I also go live on TikTok and we'll do readings live for people and I've had people who have gotten live readings and do like through my website readings and a lot of times people like kind of for the live readings to just get something that they need a quicker answer on or something short or maybe just like what does spirit want to tell them right in that moment versus something deeper like trying to make bigger decisions or really understanding of a whole area of their life or they want me to bring in the astrology I got it I can't do that like in five minutes on live so yeah have to study their charts so that's kind of how people like to separate it too yeah any of you like started to study it what kind of like led you down this path how did you start kind of getting into and I guess with everything and being able to do these readings so I started with tarot I was on a trip and this actually was the trip that my ex has been and I decided to separate on we were on our five year anniversary trip and on that trip we decided we were going to separate and it was very amicable but we were

16:37in a very spiritual place we were in Sedona, Arizona and I already had as part of the trip scheduled a tarot reading with somebody and it was my first reading with somebody who I truly felt was like a legit professional actually tarot reader and has like capabilities in the first card of my reading was the tower card which if you or anyone listening is familiar with tarot tends to be the card people are the most terrified of and that was the start of my tarot journey but it was so one point it was literally like my whole life was about to be up to like enough people in my life but I was going to come out in the end in a better way yeah that kind of got me started and then that tarot reader encouraged me to get this one app called the golden tarot it's free I'd recommend it to people as well because that helped me to just pull a card every day and start learning the cards just even through that app and then somebody gifted me a deck and I started playing with that it all kind of gradually happened after my divorce I got into another

17:38relationship of some time later and that turned out unfortunately to be an abusive relationship and during that time I was working with a spiritual coach who helped me a lot and I was also doing therapy and all sorts of other things but I was finding how a lot of times like the truth that I thought because I was being gasslet I was getting so conflicted in like my intuitive space versus what was real and shutting down my intuition a lot so then when I finally ended that relationship and went through the healing of that and again like lots of not just spiritual work but lots of therapy, somatic therapy, working with trauma informed yoga instructor I was doing sound bath healing like so many different modalities really to come back to myself and that's when I was like okay part of why I felt so bad and that relationship was because I was shutting down my own intuition and so as I started to open it back up and I even relocated to somewhere that I can just focus on having my own peace and having nervous system regulation I felt like things were just unlocking and that's when I've really started to dive super super deep into tarot and that's when

18:43I was like okay I'm ready to do this for other people now too after I felt like I had gone through my own work and I think that's really important when anyone is working with the coach or someone that's a healer or something to understand what have they already gone through what healing have they done before you just buy into like them coaching or guiding you. Yeah and I think that's a great point because you want someone that's gone through that similar like healing journey or like understanding of it through that lens because this much is coming to you just to like sell you or make a dollar off you or something then it could be perceived as I don't know like not authentic or something you know. Yeah and like I don't think that they necessarily have to have gone through all the same problems or anything but for example if somebody was going to try to find a therapist and their therapist isn't also in therapy like that's a huge red flag. Therapists are supposed to also be in therapy like we get taught that in school for sure so just things like that if they're not also doing the work on themselves they're probably not in a space to

19:44be guiding others so yeah yeah yeah that's so interesting. So I feel like there's so many different directions we can go right now let's say I'm like okay I know you talked about your own divorce and you talked about how that's kind of like taught you a lot about yourself and that kind of led you down this journey so what would you say your own divorce taught you about love and partnership and then how would you give advice now when do people come to you and ask like how do you kind of use that for your advice if that makes sense. I know you've had kind of talked about that as kind of like your guiding point your next stage. Yeah so it's interesting because my marriage and divorce and then another very big relationship those aren't the only two relationships I've ever had in my life but they're two very prominent relationships and my marriage ended extremely amicably we ended up essentially I had miscarried three times and my husband decided he didn't want to have kids anymore and I did still want to have kids and so we decided

20:44we couldn't continue and so we ended up parting ways but I was able to take a lot of things from that relationship and know what I would want in future partners because there were lots of really beautiful things we were really good partners in many ways and then the experience of the grief and how that can you know that it's actually very common that when people lose a child or something like that that is a very common time that people end up getting divorced unfortunately it's really sad that other relationship that I had been in I felt like I had manifested him so I was working a lot of manifestation and I was working through things of like okay his spirit I want this and this and this and this and the rest can basically be the same as like my ex or whatever and then when I met the second person he and my ex husband actually had the exact same birthday and I just thought that was like a sign yeah yeah and there were so many other things and then there were certain things I was like well I guess I wasn't specific enough about that he was working on himself but there were things that were not healthy and I think it taught me about how there is the ability

21:49to manifest that people come into your life or specific reasons you can ask spirit for certain things and people will come in but that doesn't mean that they're supposed to be your forever person and also I would say that ending a relationship doesn't mean it's a failed relationship my marriage did not last for the entirety of my life even though I definitely thought that it would I never thought I would be somebody who would get divorced or anything like that but it ended but I wouldn't call my relationship a failure I still think it was actually very successful and I think that that framework is also really helpful especially as I'm working with people who are trying to you know they want to get towards a life partner and realizing that you can be in relationships that you need to be in in order to learn how to become the person that you want to be in your life partnership maybe if you were to meet the person that you think would be for you in your 20s you haven't gone through enough things that you needed to go through you didn't learn enough yet so then that relationship would fail so to speak or not last the lifetime but if you meet

22:52them when you're in your 30s because you have other experiences with other people it is going to work out sometimes I think people think of that as like right person wrong time but I think it's like both people are not the right people at the time it's wrong person wrong time you need the timing to be right and so yeah I think it's just this idea of relationships can end and still be successful I try to think about it also from like a job standpoint a lot of times leave a job because we got everything we needed from that job and now we're ready for the next thing and it wasn't because we failed at that job was actually because we reached the pinnacle of success and now it's time for something else and we wouldn't be like oh you failed because you got another job that paid you more money and gave you better hours and was more fulfilling for you that's not a failure that you left and so I think if you can approach relationships in that same way of like sometimes the relationship is no longer meeting where we're at and it could still be successful but now you have to leave that or it ends for whatever reason so that you can go to the next thing that's actually even better

23:54and it's going to be more aligned for your future and more fulfilling to you and your purpose in the long run I love that that's like healing and it's all that you said that because I feel like it's so much easier for us to look back and be like oh yeah that relationship didn't serve me there was someone that I dated like in college and I remember thinking like oh like this is the one and I think I could go to like a long story but looking at how that ended and what happened again with kind of going to more detail but I won't for privacy reasons but he did not treat me great but looking back and like if I stayed I would have been stuck in the same like hoopla of small town where I lived probably just trying to place him my whole life like oh do this and I don't think I would have done any of the career things I've done because I would have been so like stuck in that mind frame and then even like my husband I feel like you're talking about different people if you look at us when we started dating we were completely different people I was like at the core I think we were the same but we've changed so much about our personal life our morals our belief so many different things and I think the hardest more most challenging points

24:59in our relationship or during those changes because like one person might change in one direction one person might change in this direction now we're you know mid and late 30s so we're more like okay this is more who I am but definitely those you know you look back and I'm like who is that girl who's that young woman that I was I was so different then so it's very interesting that you say that too because I'm like oh if we would have just met now would have been different or we also went to high school together we did not know each other but I'm like definitely we met in high school would have been wrong wrong yeah but it's just interesting that you say that because I think so many times we're focused on like what our goal is of like okay dating someone getting married like all these steps and maybe that's not how it should always go right yeah and I think we are more comfortable at that sometimes for friendships sometimes we do like to have friends that last our whole lifetime but a lot of times people are like yeah I was friends with this person in college and no one is like wait you're not friends with every single person that you were

26:01besties within college you must be a failed friend like no there's different people at different stages of our life and that the same thing can be true in romantic relationships and then there's going to be people that you meet that are going to stand the test of time and do grow and evolve with you and that's beautiful but now that everybody is going to be like that right and I feel we need to stop gilting ourselves in others it's not necessarily always good verse bad because I yes the two about like friendship breakups and I think in the moment we're like oh they're the bad friend I'm getting away from that toxic friend but then you look back and you're like no one is really good or bad I think we just kind of had different roads ahead of us exactly you need to go that way so do you believe it's in your work and stuff do you believe that soulmates are a thing are real because I feel like people are back and forth I do and I actually posted relatively recently to about a video like asking the deck if well and believe the deck is its own entity but like spirit through the deck if soulmates were real I do strongly believe

27:01that soulmates are real I do not believe in twin flames I think twin flames is very different and very toxic okay so twin flames you see think they are a thing but they're not good or do they're not I think the concept of twin flames is not real and that the belief in twin flames is a very unhealthy like kind of I'm trying not to use like a negative word that you're gonna have to believe it's not like I think it's like manipulation of spiritual messaging in a very unhealthy and toxic way and I think it keeps people attached to people in abusive relationships and toxic cycles and there's a lot of spiritual bypassing soulmates I think is very different but I also think soulmates can be in very various forms one of my strongest soulmates in my life was my dog so you can have soulmates that are pets kids family members friends teachers could be a soulmates and romantic people can also be soulmates but not every soulmate is meant to be in your life for the entire day of your life summer summer and you're not gonna necessarily meet every soulmate

28:01that's available out there for you what do you think that's my thing people have multiple soulmates in their life yes yes okay okay so I think okay so I agree with you in the beginning I was like and of course I have no background I guess this is just you can believe in a random person saying because I always say to people I don't believe in soulmates but I'm speaking more of like the universe of God where do you believe in yes one person here one person here they're born and they have to find each other and there's only I don't believe in the one okay that's what I believe in many ones and also like even if you meet somebody who could be like one of your ones doesn't mean that it's just gonna be sunshine and rainbows you still have to put in the work to make that relationship work yes and just because relationships take work doesn't mean that putting in the work is gonna work with everybody so you could meet somebody who is not for you you can think that there are soulmates and you could try to put in the work and it's not gonna work because you're just not meant to be together that's my belief at least that's what I yeah no I totally love this

29:04might believe it because I've heard such this like night is not the right word I view it negatively I think but like that idea that there's one person out there that you have to search for and they're waiting for you and they're your one romantic chance to like have this romantic partner and I think then people think it's gonna be butterflies and rainbows like you said I mean if it's your soulmate you won't have to like go through like a discussion or like have conflict or figure things out it should just be perfect and I think that's where like movies kind of get us as kids like Disney movies of like oh yes or person they're married happily ever after and that's why I always say I'm like well I don't believe in one soulmate because I feel like I have to work at it we've worked together every day like sometimes it's like us first the problem or it's us kind of the next step and I feel like any couple that like wants to work together they can make it work but like you said not every couple is gonna work no matter what you try it's just not gonna work and vice versa so now I love that you say that because I feel like there's such as interesting dialogue around soulmates and what they are and who they are yeah and I do think your true soulmates

30:09whoever that is they are going to push you in some ways because at least my belief is that we are supposed to grow throughout our lifetime here that's part of the human experience is to evolve and to grow and to self-actualize and to agree all these different parts of ourselves and so somebody who is really aligned with you is gonna push you to do that they're gonna create a safe space for you to do that even in the healthiest of relationships we're gonna get triggered but it's being able to come back from that and I say all that and also caution that if you're constantly being triggered by somebody you're constantly having all this conflict and that's not the same there should be times of peace and there's also studies that show that if you're not happy generally and like see positive things around at least 65% of the time the relationship is not going to last so that's also yeah that brings in my like science side of no I love that stuff like using that kind of stuff yeah yeah no I love that stuff I truly believe in like soulmates as friends too because there's been like amazing women that I've met in my life

31:13we've just like clicked and I'm like do I know you from another lifetime it's so interesting like female friendships and stuff like that I feel like it's just like a study in itself because there's just women that I've like some of the chapters had closed but I would never have an ill word to say about them yeah and there's some that I've met that I'm like still lifelong friends and it's just like there's just something about meeting them and I'm just like our souls are aligned like I love conversation I know I feel like I could talk to you about so many things so knowledge is good but I know we have a limited time too but getting into I'm gonna kind of switch gears getting into like wedding drama I know you have a made of honor kind of drama story so do you want to talk more about that you had to moat the made of honor I did have to and I'm glad we talked about the friend's concept already because I wouldn't say that this was like a filled friendship so my original made of honor was when I was married before she was my best friend from high school and I had been her made of honor and she got married pretty close to when we graduated from college

32:19like she got married younger than I did and so yeah I was her made of honor and I did a lot for her wedding I planned and paid for not the entire bachelorette but I planned the entire bachelorette and paid for like a lot of it myself I planned and also paid for an entire shower and it was a couple shower which for what it's worth I think that's so cool to do a couple shower I love the like non-gender conforming things but there was a lot and I wasn't my master's program it wasn't like I was rolling in the dough at this time yeah and I did a lot of extra thoughtful gifts just what another shower that I also attended her wedding were from the Chicago suburbs I know you are too or from that area and her wedding was in Madison Wisconsin so it wasn't that far but it also required an overnight stay so there was still like you know the hotel and all of that it all added up but some of that they're like extra thoughtful things that I did for her like

33:20something was something new something brought something blue I created a garter for her because I knew she wanted to do a special garter so she had like a garter toss garter but this was back when we were still doing that stuff I don't think that kind of dying out a little bit yeah that's not a thing anymore but I actually do think this keepsake thing is actually kind of cool if you don't toss this one and we got fabric from her mom's wedding dress from her grandma from her dad and like we sewed me and my mom did this and we sewed it onto her garter so her garter like had all these like special people with her on the day the person I was seeing at the time he took a picture of her and her fiance and that like one of their favorite pictures and then he hand drew it like and it looked amazing and I don't know if they still at this time but I know like many years later they still had that like hanging in their bedroom just like a lot of very very special like extra thoughtful things okay so the fast forward years to my wedding and I knew I wanted to have a very small bridal party I only was three people on my side three people on his side and one

34:23of those people was my brother and his sister so it was literally just two friends each and so I wanted her to be one of the people that was in mind but I really kind of was like my best room from college I felt like was maybe more like the right made of honor for me and so it's like okay it's fine well she was in a different stage of her life at that time now too so now she's pregnant and I'm living in Charlotte North Carolina at that time so I'm like okay I don't really want to do like a big bachelorette that's not my scene I was like 29 or something 28 and I was just like I don't want to do that so my best room from college she and I just went to Mexico by just ourselves for like a bachelorette I was like we don't need to do a bachelorette for my wedding showers I flew back to this Chicago area and we had two wedding showers on the same weekend so it was back to back so it was like if you were having to travel it was fine she didn't travel in was just like a couple hours away and she didn't come to either of them oh and I was like you didn't even have to plan

35:26them but you could like come and stay for free at your mom's house who lives like five minutes from where the shower yeah it's odd to not even like try to come and if she RSVP know or just like she knows people you know she said that she could just couldn't come because of everything that was going on but I was just like and she was pregnant and but it wasn't to the part of the pregnancy yet where like you're not supposed to like drive yeah it would be and yeah so but I was like okay I mean I get it I was like okay but then it was really getting closer to the wedding I was like wanting everybody to come in from the bridal party because we didn't do bachelor my wife has been also didn't do a bachelor party we just literally were like we just want our bridal party to come in one extra day early so that we can all hang out together for one night that's all we had asked of them and that yes they were gonna need to travel because we were you know nobody else lived in the same city that we were living in but that's all that we were asking and she couldn't do it and she wasn't even gonna make it to the for her soul the next day

36:29on time and so I was like I just felt like the reciprocity wasn't there yeah and so I was like you know what I just think it would be better for you to just I would still love for you to come to the wedding but I think it would just be better if you just come to the wedding and as a guest and then that's cool yeah so because at that time she would also have had her baby we were having a child free wedding and so I was just like come as a guest her mom was gonna come and like take care of her child and I didn't feel bad about that either because my parents also were involved like helping on her wedding too so like it's fine but yeah and then I ended up having my best friend that had taken me to Mexico she was my maid of honor for real and then I asked one of my friends from childhood to step in and I felt bad because it was like I should have asked her from the get-go and I felt bad there's like a replacement but she understood it was fine it was no hard feelings so but it did kind of lead to me and my original maid of honor my high school friends like we just

37:30kind of like separated ways that I felt like yeah the reciprocity just wasn't there and that I just didn't feel like as seen or cared for in a way that I felt like I like had deserved I guess so yeah okay so when you had to demote this maid of honor how was her response do you feel like it was like something anything changed in the relationship or do you feel like it was okay after that happened well she definitely agreed that that was gonna be for the best because also she was also like if beyond even if she could make it to pictures and that was just you have like one job literally I've barely asked you to do like anything I understand she was going to be in a new phase of life of like being a new mom but I also think you know sometimes we have to make sure we're still celebrating the people that are in phases of life that like we were celebrated in when we were in that base it's hard I do see why it would be difficult for her to travel I get that but also it's like I need one day like yeah so she agreed that that was gonna be for the best

38:36and I was happy that she was gonna still be coming I was very happy about that and we did have fun at the wedding but I honestly don't think we've even seen each other since we do live in different states and everything but it's just been like much much more distant ever since then something else that kind of felt like the icing on the cake so to speak was even from like the gifts I had put so much thought and energy into the gifts that I was giving a her so personalized like lifetime keepsakes and for me she got like six wine glasses off my registry and like yes I was registered for them but like also that was more for me than be able to have for guests because I'm allergic to wine and she knew that and I was like this is not personal at all so I just was like this relationship is just like met the end of its main course I guess you know so and that's okay and I feel like moments like that kind of make it clearer like okay this is our last big hurrah and then that's

39:37that because yeah it's like definitely being pregnant or having kids changes things but like for me like I was a maid of honor when I was like six months pregnant and I was like gonna still do everything as possible like I was still planning the bachelor's at I was we were on a boat for the bachelor's at that part I think I was 15 weeks but still it was like I remember I was like a nervous Natalie when I was pregnant so I was like okay we're gonna go on this yacht on Lake Michigan okay but yeah you still make some sacrifices for friends and at least making effort or showing that you're interested in being there and excited for them I definitely yeah I just didn't feel that and I I don't like having a ton of attention on me despite being on TikTok but like in a group like that like I don't really like being around a ton of people at wines or things like that that's why even I want a small bridal pretty but I just needed to know that the two people I was really choosing to be on my side nothing against sister but like that was his sister right she was very supportive love her but like the people that I was gonna have there

40:42I wanted to really like I needed them to be there for me there were all sorts of other dynamics going on like I needed that and so I'm very thankful I made that choice and then the person who I really did want to have be my maid of honor she was my maid of honor for real and that all worked out really well and I know I made the right choice because I saw something months ago it was like a question on Instagram or something that was like if you were to walk into a room and every person that you've ever met in your entire life dead and alive was in that room who's the first person you would seek out and my first reaction is like that is terrifying that is way too many people I'll be so overwhelmed yes there'll be people who I'd be so excited to see and there'd also be people who I would be wanting to avoid from my safety whatever the person that I would most seek out is the person who was and actually was my maid of honor my best friend from college even though we live in separate states and we don't get to see each other very often

41:42and you know we talk with not like the most frequency either but I just know that I could be like oh my gosh Kristen and she would be like I got it and that's who I needed by my side in that moment and that's who I would still count on I would then you know then I would want to see like my grandpa that passed away and stuff like that but like the first person I would seek out is the person who would be my regulator yeah no that's a great like exercise for people getting married to me like do you visualize those people there and because it's funny that you say you had a gut feeling kind of in the beginning too because I read a story yesterday that will be out on YouTube but like she little starts it with that I had a gut feeling about a friend and it wasn't made of honor anything it was about just inviting her to the wedding she was like I don't know I had a gut feeling and a gut was kind of saying no but then the friend reached out was like I need to come to your wedding and she said yes and it like all these weird things happen and so it really is about listening to your gut about people in your wedding and making those calls and it sounds like

42:44you guys had a really like mature conversation about it and like both people were mature because you hear of those where it's like they get so offended because they're not in the wedding anymore it's like I'm doing this because it's best for both of us not just I'm not being selfish or rude this is what's best for both of us and I think when people respond it shows a lot about like both people's character yeah definitely yeah all right let's get into I'm like noticing the time and I'm like oh my gosh I could talk to you for so long because I'm just talking about like astrology and like personality tests and I don't know what stuff I like love anyway anyways let's get into some quick wedding hot takes and then we'll get through the story submission okay it's gonna be a little red flag green flag are you up for that yeah okay they propose after six months and say I just know I think that it depends on the age and how often they've been actually spending time with each other and what other experience they've had so I'm sorry to say that that's like an it depends if they are less than 25 that is a hot no for me I'm sorry

43:49like your brains are not fully developed it's no offense like it's just the reality your brains are not fully developed you don't know after six months if you are older and you've been in serious relationships and you are spending time with each other and you've seen people in the different seasons like you've seen them be angry you've seen them go through something hard and like and things like that then I think that that six months is okay absolutely yeah a lot of these I feel like are hard to say red flag green flags are not so obvious there is a lot of news to these right you can never say like oh it's completely a red flag and then someone listening is like well we got engaged after six months now we've been married for 25 years and it's like totally there's always a scenario where it can absolutely be good but okay your partner's mom says I'll pay for the wedding but I need a final say I think that that is a red flag yeah yeah it's holding money over you and it's tough your fiance refuses premarital counseling because we're fine it doesn't mean it matter what the rest of it is immediate red flag immediately refuses premarital counseling

44:51red flag but what is the rest of it it just he says because we're fine or they say we're fine red red red yeah bright red they want a huge wedding but you'd rather elope and they dismiss you the dismissing itself is a red flag the disagreeing isn't a red flag but the dismissing is a red flag yeah agree your fiance wants their ex invited to the wedding to keep things peaceful I need a little more context if it's the ex and it's like their child's parent mom or something and they like okay I can understand that situation but if it's just like their ex and they have no other ties to each other immediate now right I know the first nap pops into my mind is like the mother and loss still gets along with the ex and just in one sir because I've read it's outrageous the number of you have read a lot of stories like that it blows my mind like that the mother and loss like let's just invite her that's the plus one like the confessions I get on Instagram which we'll get to but I've gotten multiple let's say my exes now exes mom brought his ex as her

45:55plus one to the wedding I'm just like wild during conflict they shut down and disappear for hours or days okay so for hours I would say that that is more of an amber colored flag it's something hopefully that they will be working on disappearing for days and you're getting married to them that's a problem so yeah you know people have different ways of dealing with conflict and depending on how they get triggered if they might need to like yeah shutting down does sometimes happen but a bit literally happens every time just bringing up even something small like hey babe I asked you to do the dishes and they aren't done and they shut down and won't talk for hours that's a red flag yeah so your fiance has no opinion on anything and says whatever you want I would take that as a red flag in my relationship because that's not the type of person I would want to marry some people probably would like that and like to just be able to make all their decisions I know people in the skin that you're doing right now like the sisters they would like that from

46:55their partner I know I know especially with wedding planning I feel like it shows they don't care but like again me I would be like like there's some things for my husband when we were wedding planning he was very involved we're making decisions together if he would have ever just brushed me off and like whatever you want I'd been like this is our wedding but if he was like oh I don't know like I trust your opinion so whatever you want it's like there's difference with like tone too completely I don't know I also think like there were definitely times when I was planning my wedding that like both of us were kind of like we don't care but if one partner is constantly like so then neither of us care so you have to decide that is a mental load issue now yes so I think that like that also comes into play and the wedding does show how you're gonna operate in your marriage too and I feel like that's the thing people forget what is like it's not about the wedding it's about the marriage and the partnership so yeah that would be like if I had to choose writer green I would

48:00choose red and that person would not be for me but maybe for some people that's the relationship they would want yeah the wedding is the precursor to how the marriage will be for sure if you have toxic in-laws or issues like drama it's gonna be a precursor for how the marriage is gonna be if your fiancee is very passive I had a therapist on here Kate Gray like this was probably like six months ago now and we like we're talking through one of the stories and we kind of came to that conclusion we're like yeah we're like depending like how it goes not all scenarios of course but that's gonna be kind of a peak into how your relationship might be if you have meddling in-laws or meddling siblings or you know it's only gonna get harder if you move in together or you have children or you have a career change you know wherever those things are these things can follow so it's good to like set boundaries or knit them in the bud before it like happens you know okay last one they get mad if you don't text back immediately it's a red flag yeah yeah i would agree hey drama lovers big news my book here comes the drama a ferrison sloan story is

49:05officially out now if you've been following their wild wedding saga online this is a full story packed with messy twists sharp banter family chaos and all the heart you've come to love and judging by your messages and posts you're loving it too huge thanks to everyone who's already grabbed a copy early and shared it on social media your support means everything if you haven't read it yet now is the time head to christa ns dot com slash book or click the link in the show notes it's available in both print and ebook grab your copy before the spoilers start showing up in the comments sections because trust me feel what experience every jaw dropping moment for yourself okay let's get into this week's stories why don't go too over time here okay here we go this was my first marriage we got divorced 11 months after the wedding because he was cheating i got engaged at 26 to a man i dated since i was 18 from the very beginning there were signs of infidelity he had issues with cheating early on oh and being young and naive i ignored it

50:08because he always insisted he really loved me looking back now it was clear manipulation i mean that goes right into the gut feeling we were talking about earlier yeah you have a gut that it's bad or something's not working it's probably right the other thing that i'm immediately wondering is like how old was he she was 18 i just have a feeling he was not that i think about that too because i read stories like this before because she's saying okay so she was 18 when they started dating and then they got engaged at 26 or she was 26 yes she didn't say his age at least yeah yeah yeah and i'm not going to pretend i was perfect either over the years he pushed and pushed me to even the score eventually i did and i'm not proud of it are they talking about cheating or like stepping out in a way like but that's a little tricky because if he was pushing her to be with somebody else that's not really cheating if she was doing it because he coerced her to do it it's almost like he felt like he almost want an excuse to cheat more or to

51:14be like well i cheat all these times so like you go do it or something yeah that's kind of odd really cheating and it's almost like a not quite open relationship you know this sounds like a very challenging dynamic yeah says eventually i did and i'm not proud of it but that's the kind of toxic relationship and have become we were both stuck in a cycle that never should have lasted as long as it did when i was 24 he went ring shopping and i showed him the exact type of ring i loved custom design specific setting the whole thing we didn't have a lot of money at the time and i truly would have been happy with something simple or smaller but then nothing happened two years went by and our relationship felt like it was stuck on pause i hit the point where i finally had the do something or i'm done conversation which how do we feel about that i could feel like if you have to have the do something or i'm done conversation that it already is done you don't want to force somebody to get married it sounds like this relationship has a lot of courage in it and that's just never going to be able to be redeemed yes fortunately absolutely he didn't respond so

52:20i packed up and moved out thinking this is it i'm actually done this time but then he begged me to come back in about four months later we got engaged he was the man i couldn't quit tall blue eyes in 100% toxic we were like fire and gasoline he ended up designing the custom ring i'd fallen in love with years earlier when i brought the ring home to show my mom at first she acted thrilled my sister wasn't shocked at all she'd known i'd love that design since i was 16 i'd always joked i just needed to find the man i should mention my parents aren't together and the man my mother destroyed our family for he was married so this is like a cycle okay my mom was the other woman for 10 years oh my gosh i just talked to a friend of mine that's a therapist and you might have seen us in your work too but she you might know the name i can't think of the name but there's like a study about like looking at cycles of like intergenerational all psychosocial like trauma

53:21and stuff and she's like like if there's like cheating in a lineage like it's very common like if a mom was cheated on maybe her mom was cheated on and it's just like this interesting thing of like you don't think like oh because i was cheated on maybe my mom you know or whatever or she had breast cancer because she had this you know it's just this interesting lineage you can see so when i just saw that that's kind of maybe think of it as i was like oh she's kind of looking back and it's like oh her mom was in a relationship where the man was cheating yeah it sounds like the person at this while she maybe didn't have the awareness when she was going through it and where she's writing to you right now sounds like she does have a lot more awareness yeah that's what i'm getting to around Christmas that year my sister came to visit and my mom was showing off new jewelry it was basically my engagement ring oh no oh i'm flag that i am yeah this came out of left y'all i thought this was going to be all about the guy same design same setting only hers was yellow gold with yellowish diamonds instead of white

54:25when i confronted her she told me it was completely different and that i was being dramatic but it wasn't different it was identical right down to this setting i was very sorry for her no imagine like that's your moment of like being so excited obviously the relationship has it's toxic but that aside right she's so excited and the mom's like you know what i'm going to go out and get myself the exact and it was her custom design and everything like how can you say it's different if it's like oh we both had a single solitaire like princess cut it's the exact same like okay but no it sounds like this person created some full special design special setting her own vision that she's wanted since she was 16 they had it custom made um yeah wait the mom interesting yeah she said i was furious my sister immediately told her she should never wear it again because it was a blatant copy and incredibly rude good for the sister yeah my mom got angry

55:27and said she wouldn't wear it on my day fast forward to about one or two months before my wedding planning was going pretty well until my mom showed me what she was planning to wear here we go wait i didn't notice so it says the mom okay so the mom destroyed her family so i'm guessing she was also married cheated with this man who was also married right sounds like they were both married because she said my mom just wrote a marriage for 10 years meaning that she never got married to this man when my intuition is saying she's jealous now that her daughter's getting married to this man which she's been the other woman all these years right yeah it says i go to her house and she proudly pulls out a garment bag a white garment bag inside was a white gown just when i think she knows exactly what she's doing she knows exactly what she's doing no one is that naive to be like oh you can't you can wear a white dress to your daughter's wedding what my rings different what her excuse was you're doing a black and white wedding what color am I supposed to

56:31wear oh my god my sister and i immediately shut it down and forced her to find something else the disappointing part the next dress she chose was literally the same dress my stepmom had already purchased thankfully my stepmom is an angel and just picked another dress without making it a thing that is an angel I'm glad this person has her sister her stepmom like people in her corner who seem to get it her mom is a problem for sure yes yeah you need those people to like not add more gasoline to the fire like she was saying earlier just to kind of be like and i know some people get mad in the story sometimes when i'm like you can keep the peace like it's protecting your boundaries in some ways right keeping the peace isn't necessarily mean you're hurting yourself it just means like not igniting more because i think there's some people that thrive off the drama and they want to start more drama you know so i feel like they were very smart about like you know we're not can even bring it to her attention let's just change the dress you know yeah or the bride could have gone to the stepmom being like really upset in a stepmom being like i don't care enough

57:33i want to solve this problem for you the way that i want to solve it is by getting a different dress and not engaging with your mom and then take this off your plate so it's like up to the stepmom to make that decision the bride just out of it and that's like those are the people you need when you're going through stuff like this yeah 100 percent my bridesmaids couldn't decide on a dress so i told them to pick whatever style they wanted as long as it was black and church appropriate since i was having a church wedding i recommended tea length because it was popular at the time when it came to shoes i asked for their input and only one had an opinion silver so i said okay silver it is i truly thought i was being accommodating but somehow i still got labeled as a brideslla then the guest drama one bridesmaid let's call her the bridesmaid was single and not dating anyone since the wedding was out of state i asked my aunt if she should get a plus one they said no so i didn't give her one she decided she was bringing someone anyway a woman friend of hers i'd never even met luckily i was able to accommodate it last minute since a few people didn't show up

58:36again she was just like you know what it's annoying but whatever we're gonna make it work i feel like personally if someone was flying into my wedding i would probably give them a plus one but also like if you're in a wedding like you're not gonna really be seeing your plus one that watched until the day you don't have that much time usually yeah and probably also just depends on like the other people in the bridal party like if everybody is basically single then it doesn't matter just like let everybody just come by themselves yeah dinner was catered by super talented chef who was a close friend with my ex but last minute he decided to bread the chicken that mattered because the bridesmaid had celiac disease and she accused me of trying to poison her on purpose okay it looks a little red flags yeah because like it's not like snuck like something in there like you can see it's breaded so like okay let's figure it on get something else also a huge red flag on the chef because that's not okay it's to change the menu and yeah especially with something like that where it's literally going from not gluten to having gluten

59:40like that's a big no it makes me wonder if it was one of those things where it's like because it's a friend of the ex if they're like just make us whatever and there was nothing actually set in stone or the guys like oh I gave them a discount so I can just make whatever I want I always say that's a problem with hiring friends sometimes is because there's not always a contract and they're not always taken as seriously on both sides I've seen both kind of stories yeah it makes me kind of wonder what happened there she said yes seriously she left before the cake cutting and made a big show of it like I was some evil mastermind plotting her downfall with bread crumbs also why would you immediately be like it's the bride's fault she's trying to kill me like right I would never be my first instinct I'd be like oh they made them same like I was vegetarian for years I know it's not the same thing I chose that it wasn't allergic or had issues but like I was vegetarian for years how many times I get served food at restaurants with me or I'd go to someone's house and they give me some of me I would never be like oh my gosh you try making me animals like that's not my first thought no so I do actually have a lot of food allergies and this can be difficult

1:00:45as a wedding guest because a lot of times I'm like I literally cannot eat anything but depending on the who's wedding it is I'll ask them especially if it's like in advance I'll be like I have food allergies how would you like me to handle it like do you want me to tell you do you want me to talk directly to a wedding planner do you want me to talk directly to a chef do you want me to just bring my own food like what do you want me to do I would because I don't want to put more on the bride and the groom whoever's getting married like no and I would never assume that if somebody served me something that I was allergic to that the people who invited me to their wedding were like let's kill that like what yes I know it's like so she already had some kind of friends turn yeah yeah I've been in the wedding she said I feel like we need to normalize people saying no when they don't support the bride and groom yes like if you don't want to be in the wedding say no yeah just save everybody the headache later really have a taja or say something rude just like no thank you

1:01:47it's okay we'll move on yes exactly during the toast my ex's brother stood up after drinking for what felt like six straight hours and gave a completely incoherent speech at some point he dumped alcohol on his pregnant sister-in-law then he smashed a glass on the floor to celebrate and expected everyone else to do the same we had him escorted out okay I'm glad that they handled it they handled it but somehow he came back a week before my wedding okay it's an hour one back a week my mom and her married boyfriend broke up because he wanted us to remove people from the guest list people who knew him knew his wife and could expose him maybe you just want to come and maybe you just want to cheat like yeah what imagine having an affair and the expecting people to change your wedding so you don't get caught that's bonkers bonkers oh my gosh so that relationship imploded right before my wedding so i'm sure the mom loved that i was going to say the mom is

1:02:49going to blame the bride for that too yeah all her faults meanwhile my ex didn't speak to his own mother and insisted she not be invited but she showed up anyway and sat at the back of the church ironically though she was the least of my problems that day man i feel so bad for this bride it's just one thing after the other and it's just like drama from like immature people i feel like i also feel like in some ways it's the universe maybe being like don't get married yes or this wasn't for her yeah it is such a good point i actually just read one which by the time this comes out i'll probably be like a couple weeks ago it's coming out this week but it was a similar thing but was more just drama with like caters and stuff no was that the one i read so many stories but there was not one where all these bad things kept happening and like later on she is like i think it was a sign that like it wasn't supposed to work because literally two years later a year later we got divorced and it was like it was being like don't do i do think like every wedding

1:03:50is going to have some things that go wrong and also i feel like at my first wedding like i just knew that was going to be something that would go wrong and even though i didn't know what it would be and so then when things went wrong i was like oh that's not a big like okay of course it's not going to go perfectly that doesn't in itself mean that you're not supposed to get married but when it's like every single area is so much drama like there's obstacles for a reason sometimes yeah i know it's almost like this is like a weird way to put it like the movie final destination okay this is like really a weird way to put it we know like excited though the things keep happening to them and it's like just keeps happening obviously this is like i just feel like things are getting in the way of making this a beautiful wedding day yeah and so it's like where is this leading where's the final part of this wedding gonna go because it's like no matter what they like okay brush aside this one thing they brush aside this but then it's other obstacle he's coming that it's just i don't know it's interesting there's just so much to coming on okay after my ex's brother returned he found more alcohol and started peeing and potted plants inside the expensive venue

1:04:55he got thrown out again but at that point everyone was heavily drinking and he somehow snuck back in again okay this is a problem it's gross this is like terrible the worst part was that my mother disappeared with my ex husband's grandfather who was nearly 80 she denies it to this day but everyone knew something happened either way disgusting what happened here by the end of the night the brother was so drunk he could barely stand i'm surprised he made it truly his pregnant sister-in-law tried taking him back to the other place with her partner instead he pushed her and got into a fist fight with another brother-in-law one of them went through a wall the cops got called and he spent the next three days in jail i mean he needs other consequences in treatment probably but yeah yeah if you are showing up that and intoxicated and doing all these things that's a problem fast forward six months into marriage

1:05:58my husband was acting strange secretive distant off i checked his phone and found inappropriate tax from at least four women one of them was only 19 years old that goes back to the suspicion from earlier like is there an age difference or does he just like yeah yeah yeah that's definitely a problem and it sounds like she had intuition or knew of cheating before the wedding but now it's like back up yeah it says i confronted her she said she didn't know he was married and told me he kept calling her and was eating at her restaurant four times a week she promised she never speak to him again and weirdly we became friends not close friends but the kind of bond where you feel like you've both been lied to that's what happened to me before okay i was that person were like when i was cheated on i never blamed the woman because i was like she was probably lied to from this a hole just as much as i was right and so there was like two different times where i became friends with the women and i'd be like okay i like this is my new friend i'm like that

1:07:02would probably piss them off more so i was i don't know but she was lying oh but she was lying to my face okay he never stopped contacting her and while i believed we were working on our marriage he was actively building a life with her oh after months of struggle stress sleepless nights violent fights and dramatic weight loss i finally got the courage to leave about a month after i moved out he moved in with her he sounds like a terrible person and it wasn't gonna be a serial thing that he does the 19 year old is gonna find some other person that he's talking to that's younger again and then he'll just keep doing this until yeah the end of time yep yeah once i filed for divorce they announced they were expecting their first child oh no in the photo they used to announce it the shoes he wore at our wedding i wish i was kidding i guess it all worked out for them in the end they now have two kids and have been married for five years but that relationship

1:08:03taught me a lesson i will never forget when someone shows you who they are believe them believe them yes and honestly just because they're still married doesn't mean that they're happily married or that he's not cheating yeah right like they could be married and who knows what he is doing so right it's like the grass is always greener thing you might see in them they're like oh they're like posted as happy photos on facebook or whatever we don't agree right you don't know what's going on behind the scenes absolutely i'm glad for the person who wrote this story in that she's not in that relationship anymore and she can like see it for what it was but yeah to go through all of that and like have us but i'm sure she looks back and she's like the wedding was telling me don't go through with that looking all this stuff walk away she just ends with i'm happily remarried now i no longer speak to my mom that right or obviously my ex and honestly this would all make a great story i feel like she needs an award for recapping all the things that we wanted to know at the end not everyone that writes in does that and sometimes i know like when i'm listening

1:09:04to the episode i'm like we did you cut them off like what's happening and i love that this person was like this is what happened and this is what happened they gave us an epilogue yes no i totally agree there's so many times where i'm like that's it that's really ended oh my gosh i need to email them and so as long as we'll email them and we don't care back or sometimes they'll like send me an update later but yeah that was a good way to like tie it off like i'm glad that she's happy now and got a really toxic relationship like you said i broke the pattern that her mom was in she's not her mom she's her own person and she doesn't have to be like her mom and i think that's really beautiful yeah yeah absolutely wow that touched on every kind of like drama i think i've ever read before wow well thank you for sending that in and thanks for reacting yeah oh my gosh that's wild let's end with a couple of confessions their sentiment instagram let me do like some cards for yeah yeah absolutely okay okay so this says what wedding cost do you regret the most we ask

1:10:11people on instagram this is what they said this person said the whole thing i wish we would have eloped another person said not doing RSVP only there was too many people that were not invited interesting wait not doing RSVP only there were too many people that were not invited oh i wonder if they're thinking like they didn't like limiting RSVP's and they wish they would just don't like open because they seem to be doing that where there's like just calm if you can make it so maybe that's what they mean i've never heard of that okay yeah i've been until i started sharing stories i've heard a couple of people saying like we just had like a church basement or a venue and just being like oh anyone can come to dinner and like it's a buffet so maybe that's what they mean but i don't know interesting this one says cake no one cares about cake yeah i think you need some kind of sweet treat i don't think it has to be cake but you need some kind of like sweet thing that's what i like anyway yeah and this last one says a photo booth because they didn't have guests create the book as instructed oh that's a shame honestly even though my first marriage did

1:11:18end in divorce i still have like so many really great memories from the photo booth and like pictures from that that i love seeing from from my wedding so yeah i love that that's fun i feel like photos to like photos and videography i feel like i're like so worth it but yeah every wedding is gonna be different what you prioritize and that okay so i think there's something that you think is like spends that you wish that you would have not done what's the expense that you would have changed honestly i feel like i was pretty i was pretty good about saying like notice things i was like okay we were pretty limited on i shouldn't say limited on guest list but i was like if i'm in talk to them in the last five years like they're not invited but one thing that people always told me like they're like don't get favors like no one uses favors but i was so set i was like i love getting favors at weddings i know most people don't we did decks of cards but there were a lot left over a lot people did leave cards so i don't know i would say maybe that if i had a pick for example i got a quote like for four thousand dollars for flowers i ended up

1:12:23borrowing friends flowers she made silk bouquets so we didn't pay for flowers all our bridesmaid dresses were under a hundred dollars i let them wear whatever shoes they wanted so i feel like i was pretty like cinjus the wrong word but i was like spent where i wanted to spend i should say yeah yeah my wedding was a big ticket wedding i would say it was a lot it was a destination wedding for almost everybody even though it was where i lived nobody else lived there and this could be for like another time but we had everybody that was invited to the wedding got invited to something the night before the wedding because of the like inviting the out of town people to the rehearsal yeah we just invited we did a full special other event and we had like a farewell breakfast the next day too and it was like there was a lot going on but the thing that i would actually have taken i do hope to get married again and i think i think i would reduce the cost on is my dress and i didn't even get a very expensive dress but i don't know that's just an area that i just don't really care about as much i just feel like i don't need to spend close to a thousand or over

1:13:27a thousand or whatever on a dress like i've really just whatever i'm getting something way cheaper yeah i know i was like that too with my dress i feel like i'm so shocked when i hear like custom bride dress costs like thousand multiple thousands of dollars because i i went somewhere that was like direct so it was like none of the overhead cost kind of thing yeah that for me i was like i didn't go to like five bridal shops either i was like i went to one try them five dresses and i knew i like i don't know maybe it's because i was just like weighted i don't know i was just like older at the time i don't know yeah i just knew at that point yeah yeah okay you want to do yeah let's do a couple oracle cards or something just for like maybe especially with a new year and maybe some intentions for the listeners too so this deck that i'm going to start with just the cosmic guidance deck and the kind of intent around it is opening yourself to guidance from a universe so we'll just see what their guidance for anyone listening and they can take it

1:14:29if they want to or not it's like a little message okay a card just came flying out okay so this is what it looks like if you're watching on youtube so it says gratitude appreciate present blessings and like that so just finding like some gratitude practices i think that's really helpful especially in this time that we're in right now where things can be really scary and it can be hard to see like sometimes the positive without being toxically positive which is finding something to be grateful for in the moment and see if there's another another card another message okay we're gonna switch to a different deck i won't use tarot for this just because it'll take us a little longer but we'll do another one of like this is my bloom deck what's a way that you might need to grow or could or an area that you really can grow and have success in 2026 well this like speak to me because i'm right in front of you or is it just like anybody list it'll be you and anyone that's listening but yeah your enemy will be like them most prominent because it's your podcast okay okay

1:15:29so we got lotus oh your mud has purpose your mud has what happens to like when you're stuck in the mud there's a reason i feel like this kind of goes back to some of the stories that we're listening like when it just feels like there's all these blocks there's a reason it's telling you something so maybe you have to learn how to get yourself out of the mud or maybe the mud is trying to slow you down because you're trying to move too fast to get to somewhere else or sometimes the mud is to show you the places where you're like people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones like maybe you got mud on you that you got to clean off before you're judging other people so there could be lots of different reasons but like your mud has a purpose and mud also has nutrients in it you have to if you actually want to grow in your plant you got to be put in the dirt there's purpose to that so that you can actually bloom and then the lotus is the symbol there so okay we'll just a couple of messages for like that right now i love doing that like internal work of understanding myself better and i love the one you said about gratitude in your presence that what it said appreciate

1:16:32present blessings yeah yeah because i think too we're so quick to look ahead and not in like a bad way but we're just like planning constantly planning or like okay when will this pass or okay what i need to do next and i feel like at least speaking for myself it's so hard to just sit in the present just enjoy the moment you're in at this moment i get like not anxiety but i'm always thinking of like what's the next thing okay how am i gonna do this okay i only have 30 minutes till this okay i gotta do this and it's just like turn off the electronics rubber and just be present in this moment and just enjoy it because i remember even as a kid i'd be like i'll only have an hour until and it was just kind of like even by like happiest moments from surrounded by like friends and family i'm like thinking about oh with the next thing so that's like a good reminder it's making me wonder if you ever were to take strength spender i feel like maybe you have like a cheaper where there's the positive is you are achieving you're striving for things you're good at executing on things but then you can get like a cheaper burnout and you're constantly having to achieve and you only

1:17:37feel good if you are achieving or you feel like you're never achieving enough or as soon as you achieve your audience the next thing and forgetting to like celebrate your success and it's actually if you were talking about this making me realize so i had made my 20 26 bingo card have you ever made a bingo card for the for your like a checklist on most so instead of it being like a checklist if you were to play bingo you don't have to clear the whole card to win right it's like you just got to get five in a row in any way and so i put things on there that i was like if i get five in a row that would be amazing i put like bigger things on there not things that i was like i have to do all these things and just feels more like just put it out there in like almost wishes yeah and then like well i get this and one of the things i had put on my card was to be on a podcast oh there you go i can check my first yes this is my first one so it's a reminder for me to be like okay i should actually like take a moment and be like five already gotten one of my squares and i'll appreciate that little blessing so yes and like i'll get in too because i think

1:18:37yeah right like to like look ahead to the next thing and like not really like look around us and be like really feel out the senses of like i'm doing it or like this exactly we gotta celebrate our wins yeah that test you're talking about is that kind of like the antiagram or like similar similar but even more in depth and more backed by a lot more global research okay uh doesn't say i literally i can send you the link yes please do because i was gonna say i literally just took the antiagram the other day and i got a cheever so when i said a cheever i was like okay yeah that constant i'm like a three which is a cheever and then a little two which i can't remember the two yeah three wing two yeah like three wing two yeah and so i was like oh my god i like read it but yeah i'm so prone to burnout i go go go go go and then i'm like it's over while i'm around like what's up what's down like who am i um so yeah that's fun that happened like two months but yeah i understand yeah awesome well thank you so much for coming on it was so

1:19:39much for having me i was not like notice the time i'm like i could talk to you forever um i would love to i would love to can you just tell everyone where they can follow you for more updates anything fun you're working on yeah so the best places take talk at intuitively best and i don't have facebook or instagram the accounts that are there scam accounts hero readers oftentimes have people trying to copy them so also just to shout out if you are watching hero and take talk like a real reader will never reach out to you you will reach out to them and then my website standout store slash intuitively best and that is a great place if you want to work with me or get in contact with me awesome thank you so much thanks for having me crystal thanks so much for tuning into this episode of here comes the drama if you enjoyed this episode don't forget to rate review and share it with a friend who loves a good story and make sure you're following me on all socials at hey christianis for even more stories skits and a little extra drama until next

1:20:40time protect your piece and i'll see you soon bye now