502 | God Won't Allow Me to Settle For Less

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One of the hardest things that I have been trying to get into my very thick skull is that

God will not allow me to settle and He won't allow me to settle because He loves me and

because He has great things in store for my life.

From after time I have personally tried to take control of the situation and over and

over again.

He be telling me to take several seats and as frustrating as it has been lately, I think

I finally get the idea.

What is going on, beautiful people?

You are listening to the affirmations for Black Girls Podcasts where we focus on personal

growth and cultivating a healthy relationship with ourselves.

I am your host, tire of their creative, actress, content creator and mental health enthusiast

and brand new dog mom, hello, hey, how y'all doing?

If you did not listen to last week's episode, I'm going to say this once again, I'll probably

say this for the next couple of episodes as people trickle back in because I took a long

hiatus at the top of the year.

But the format of the show is going to change just a little bit for the time being as

I am in a transition period.

If you want the nitty gritty on why go back and listen to episode 501, it'll tell you

a lot more.

But basically, I am in a transition period.

I'm also in a new decade of life and I started this podcast in my late 20s and I am trying

to find the next look, the next format, the next thing that feels right for the podcast

as far as the packaging of the content goes.

I will not change, our affirmations will not change for the most part because this is

the affirmations for black rose podcast, of course, but I'm really trying to figure out

what makes me happy as far as the packaging of it all goes.

So we'll still be having our Monday episodes and some pep talk Wednesdays, maybe they

may be here or there, you know, but the biggest thing is I am leaning away from the more

narrative scripted, polished content just for a while.

I just want to be able to talk to you guys directly from the heart and we'll see how it

goes.

Anyways, God will not allow me to settle.

He also want to allow you to settle and I came, this thought came into my mind in January

and I'll definitely get into when this came, but before we do, last week I gave you guys

a sentiment that you basically, basically a little prayer, right?

And this week I also have another one for you based on what we're talking about today.

So this week, instead of an affirmation, this is in place for affirmation, I have this

little micro prayer or this, I don't even know what to call it.

It's a sentence.

It's just one sentence, but it's speaking directly to God and it's so prevalent in my life

right now, especially with what we're talking about today.

And it is God raised my standards to match your promises.

God raised my standards to match your promises.

I really think this is actually still an affirmation, this is still an affirmation, let's just

let's dive in, let's say it a few more times together and write this down and have this

in your bag pocket to just say to God, when you don't know what else to say, God raised

my standards to match your promises, God raised my standards to match your promises.

What are the promises that God has over your life?

What has he promised you?

God raised my standards to match your promises, let's say at one last time together, God raised

my standards to match your promises.

I actually really enjoy this affirmation, I don't know why in my head, I didn't consider

it an affirmation, no mind, none of that I said beforehand, but I love this affirmation

because honestly his promise is at the top of my priorities for my life.

I want the promises that God has for me, I want my plan A, I've talked about this in

the past, like God I want my plan A, I want my plan A, and I'm finding that I personally

need to raise my standards to match those promises that he has for me, even if I don't

know what the journey to get to those promises looks like, and that's why I say God just

raised my standards, I don't have to know the nitty gritty, but as long as my standards

are raised that means my body will not allow me to accept anything below that.

So I'm gonna go ahead and keep it a beam with y'all.

The reason I say God will not allow me to settle is because I have tried to settle.

Okay, let me back it up and I'm really gonna take y'all through it with me.

Because in this new format, I'm just, I'm laying it all out there because I know I'm not

the only one.

So remember last year when I was telling y'all about this guy that I really liked, that

lived, that didn't live in California, it would be a long, this is thing, all of this stuff

that I told you guys at the end of last year, long story short, we do not talk anymore.

And basically, it was an abrupt thing and I don't even really know what happened.

He basically ghosted me and that hurt because we've known each other for a long time, you

know, went our separate ways, whatever went off to college, all of those things and then

reconnected.

So this is someone that I have not romantic history with, but this is someone who has

who I've known, we grew up together, you know, so being ghosted by someone that you have

so much history with, even in a platonic way, it hurts and it's frustrating.

So long story short, okay, so boom, this will happen.

Back when I was still at home for the holidays, I didn't extend this day as you guys know.

So my brother is getting married this month, he's getting married, oh my gosh, in a

couple of weeks.

And in January, I stayed home a little while longer to go to his fiancee's bachelor

rep party.

It was a surprise bachelor rep party, so I stayed in town for a little while longer.

So mind you, the whole time I'm home, I'm still talking to him, but the communication

is getting spotty and all of this stuff and I've already said, hey, listen, if you don't

want to do this, this is totally fine.

Let's just nip it in the butt here and because for me, I would rather maintain the relationship

that we have, which isn't much of a relationship, but you know, I don't want to be upset and all,

you know, all of the extra stuff that don't need to be there if you ain't interested

in this for real, right?

And he ended up saying that he was interested, this was actually before the holiday.

So in my head, I'm like, okay, he's interested.

We talked all the way through September, October, November, up until Thanksgiving, that's

when stuff started to get a little, a little rocky, right?

And I just constantly say, like, hey, we don't have to do this.

And that was my first mistake, right there, because I felt something in my spirit.

And instead of me cutting it off and preserving myself, I just kept trying to make sense

of what was going on, giving grace on top of grace on top of grace, where I should

have been giving grace to myself, and I should have been taking care of Tyra.

But anyways, fast forward to the best rare party.

We had plans to see each other on my way back from New Orleans.

He was actually going to go with me to pick up Okra because Okra was in Mississippi.

So we were going to ride together in Mississippi and that was like a, that was going to be like

a six hour travel day.

So I talked to him Friday while I was on my way to New Orleans.

We texted very briefly on Saturday, and then Sunday, I'm calling him, he didn't answer

to, or I called him once, he didn't answer the phone.

So I texted him, I was like, hey, I'm going to be a child in 40 minutes.

And he was like, what did he say?

He said, I can't, I got stuck at work, y'all, I started bawling my eyes out.

And I started bawling my eyes out, not because he just couldn't come, but because I knew

that this was going to happen.

The whole time I was home, well, before I got home, he said he would take me on a date.

We ended up not going on a date, and that kind of hurt a little bit.

And also, the communication just continued to dwindle.

But I think I had my mind made up about the fact that, you know, he's very attractive,

he's from home, I've known him my whole life, I haven't known him intimately, you know,

but I've known this person, he's from where I'm from.

And something that I try to explain to a lot of people from home is that I miss that,

I miss that feeling of familiarity, I miss that feeling of knowing someone from childhood

because of the industry that I am in, I'm in an industry where people be using each

other, people are not being authentic, people are not, people are doing things for the

wrong reason.

So it just felt very nice to kind of feel, you know, you can still deal with that type

of stuff for people from your past, whatever, but it felt nice to feel secure in that way

that this person wasn't using me to gain fame or, you know, be friends with the famous

people around friends, you know, all of that type of stuff.

So it felt very nice.

And I have always wanted to be with someone from the South, I until this whole thing blew

up in my face, I was like, I really would love to marry somebody from Louisiana, it just

makes it easier when you get married, when you get holidays, when you have kids, each

other's family, all of that stuff sounded very, very nice and I sold myself a dream.

And I say, God, want to allow me to settle because that's exactly what I was going to do.

And I'm not saying he was a great guy or he is a great guy, I think he's very dope, but

I think the settling part comes in because one, he wants to stay in Louisiana, he doesn't

want to leave Louisiana, he actually wants to live in our hometown that neither one of

us living now.

My mom moved out of our hometown, population 1200 people in St. Francisville, he wants to

live there.

And all this stuff and I'm like, you know what, that's cool.

I will do that.

I will be barefoot and pregnant, put me on a lot of land.

I will be a tradwife, all of those things and I will be giving up what I have dreamed

about for so long and in my head, I made myself okay with that.

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Okay, I know y'all know this, but I'm going to say it anyway.

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Now, like I said, I'm in an apartment, so I can't knock down any walls or, you know,

do anything permanent with my space, but I can make it feel more like me.

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little eclectic, and then a sprinkle of form house chic.

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And what that leads to is feeling resentment and all of this stuff.

And I would only be able to resent myself at the end of the day.

So, when this didn't work out, I felt a little embarrassed.

I felt very heartbroken and sad in a way that all I had this idea of what it could be in

my head.

I felt rejected.

I started to feel like I'm falling further and further behind in life.

And what this really was was God just closing that door because He knows how I get down.

I love to be in control.

And I think- I don't even like to say that I'm settling- I was settling with-with this

guy because I did actually really like him, but in a sense, I would be settling.

So I think that honestly came from me just being tired of being in the dating world.

It's- it's very tiring and I will say I'm discouraged at this point.

And I'm like, okay, guys, so what do you have for me?

Because I started to say, dang, God, you really just don't want me to settle because I- after-

I mean, through- through me talking to this guy, I was still kind of talking to other

people.

And I went on one date while I was home.

I did not care for it at all.

And after he said that he had to go to work or whatever, I said, you know what, oh, yeah,

I got to go.

I stopped talking to all of these people that I was, you know, talking to.

And I'm saying all, like it was so many, it was literally just three him.

This other guy that I ended up going on a date with and one guy that I met off he inch,

all of them from Louisiana.

And I ended up cutting all of that stuff off.

And I think because I was talking to him, I was just convincing myself that this is enough.

And I really did feel that way.

And I interpreted this redirection and this closed door that God has- this door that

God has closed as a failure, but what it- what it is, it's simply redirection.

It's not a failure at all, but being in my thirties and wanting to be in relationships

so badly and wanting marriage and all of these things that all of these people around

me, my loved ones around me are celebrating these milestones.

I'm like, dang, God, when will it be my turn?

So it's very hard for me, someone who is very solution oriented to sit there and let

Jesus take the will in that regard.

But there are two things.

They're settling and then there's contentment.

And being content is something that I'm trying to learn.

So settling is when you shrink your standards.

And like we said at the top of this episode, we need to raise our standards to match the

promises that God has for us.

And contentment on the other hand is trusting the timing that God has for us while maintaining

our standards.

And that is very hard to do for me.

It might be easier for some people, but it's very, very hard for me to do in this area

of my life.

And a question that I'm asking myself these days now is am I compromising my values

or am I practicing patience?

Did I lower my expectations because I was afraid?

Am I fearful?

Do I think that nothing is coming for me like am I impatient?

What is it?

Right?

Why did I lower my expectations?

And I think in this specific scenario with this guy that I really, really liked, I think

I lowered my expectations because I thought it was good enough.

That's the best way I can put it.

And I'm not, this is no shade to him in the type of person that he is or whatever.

Honestly, I was still like to be with that man.

I'm not even going to lie to you.

I mean, like the stats are good on this guy.

He just wants to stay in our small hometown and that lifestyle is not what I have dreamed

for myself.

That's my biggest thing.

And that's a huge lowering of my expectation because I'm out in LA trying to do the whole

acting thing.

He wants a bunch of land in the middle of nowhere and a farm and to live the country boy

life.

And I love that.

I love that so much.

I want a sprinkle of that in my life, but I know down a line, I'll be like, okay, I need

something else.

So God refuses to let me settle.

I also say this.

So once that door closed, I haven't talked to him since then since that was the last

message he sent me, hey, I got stuck at work.

I'm not going to be able to go whatever.

That's the last time I've spoken to him and it's now March.

But in other regards, I've just noticed that anytime I even remotely start talking to

a man, God immediately closes the door.

And like I said, that makes me feel discouraged.

I'm asking myself, dang, what am I ugly?

Like what is going on?

What is causing these men to almost immediately just fall off the face of the earth?

And the only logical thing that I can think of is that God is closing those doors.

I think it's divine disruption.

And I think God is disrupting my pattern because I, I'm not going to lie, I'm a simple girl,

okay?

I've noticed a pattern in me.

If a guy likes me, I'm going to talk to him.

I'm going to be like, okay, cool.

I've been very passive in my romantic relationships.

And lately, I have been changing that up.

I really have.

But from the beginning of me starting to date when I was in high school and all of that

stuff, if somebody liked me, I would just say, okay, I mean, I guess.

Okay?

Sure.

And I think God is disrupting that plan now, which hasn't happened to me in the past like

when I was younger.

And it feels very inconvenient.

And I think he is withdrawing access completely because he knows that I have that tendency

in me to accept this.

And I say that in hindsight because I look back and I say, godly, God, thank you so much

that that thing didn't work out.

Thank you so much.

You took that away from me because even when I look at my past relationships, who I broke

up with?

Girl, I broke up with two of my boyfriend's, but I also begged him to come back.

He broke up again and I begged him to come back.

And that is how I know that this is divine disruption because he is disrupting this new

thing that is not his promise for me.

And he's also disrupting old patterns that I tend to show, right?

Now as a black woman, I think something that I subconsciously learned is to be grateful

for the crimes.

And I've also been guilt-tripped in past relationships for wanting more.

And I've been told things like you're too much.

And I think all of this stuff has combined and made me become a little more passive and

not an active participant in my love life.

And I'm just so grateful that God won't allow me to settle even though it's against my

will.

Because as I sit back and I meditate on all of this and I reflect on all of my life experiences,

it makes a lot more sense now why all of these doors are being closed abruptly.

I'm also the type of girl.

When I'm talking to a guy that I really, really like, oh, career, girl is going out the

dough.

And I've always been like that.

And more of a traditional woman, I do want more of a traditional role, but I also want

my career.

But I am not, there are some people who are like, oh, yeah, my career comes first.

That is top priority.

I'm not that person.

And I've accepted that about myself, but I do think that there is a lot of stuff on

the opposite side that comes with that, with that I have to say, okay, I look, but

the girl, you need to take a step back and really see, make sure that you're seeing

this stuff clearly.

So even though I've been super frustrated with God, and well, I don't, I'm not going to

say that I'm not, I'm not going to say that I've been frustrated with God.

I have been frustrated with the fact that doors keep slamming in my face in the relationship

world.

And they slam before anything has even happened.

So it's hard for me to even draw a conclusion.

You know how like if you break it, be like, okay, yes, we broke up because of X, Y and

Z.

I'll be talking to a guy for a couple of months and everything is going well.

And then they will literally fall off the face of theirs.

You won't have a disagreement.

It won't even be like a weird thing that happened.

It'll be a great conversation or whatever.

And then boom, they're gone.

The only explanation for that is divine disruption from God.

God is disruption, disrupting my plan because my plan is not what his plan is for my life.

And me being the control freak that I have been.

And a lot of times I can get headstrong and I know that when I'm headstrong like that,

I'm like, look, we're going to get this done and we're going to do it this way because

I know I can get done this way.

And no other logic in the world can make me believe that it is not God that is closing

these doors because there is nothing else that makes sense in that regard.

So maybe there is nothing wrong.

It's just that I'm not meant to settle.

I think the right things won't require us to betray ourselves.

I was actually talking to my best friend, Brea, on my drive back to LA.

Y'all I drove back to LA, by the way, it took me three days.

I stopped in Texas.

I stopped in Arizona and then the third day I made it all the way here.

But I was talking to my best friend on the way and I was listening to Jay Shetty's podcast

and she was like, what was the episode about?

So we were just talking about it and one thing that really stuck with me from that episode

is that I need to make sure that I am being emotionally available to myself.

Sometimes we can be so worried about the other person that we were trying to talk to.

Oh my gosh, what did I do?

What can I do?

How can I make sure that they know that I love them all this type of stuff?

And sometimes we can't forget about ourselves.

And when he said, I can't remember exactly how he said it, but I was like, oh wow, am I

being emotionally available for me?

Because if I'm not emotionally available for me, how can I expect other people to be?

I cannot abandon myself for the sake of someone else.

And being emotionally available for yourself means like practicing self-attumement

and knowing how to process your internal emotions without judgment

and creating a safe and compassionate space for your own feelings

and nurturing your inner child, right?

So when you are feeling things, it's like, what does your self talk look like?

Are you giving yourself a pep talk?

Are you giving yourself a hug?

Or are you saying, oh my gosh, I'm so stupid.

I'm so dissoned so that.

What is it?

How are you able to self-soothe?

You know what I mean?

Are you able to nurture yourself through a difficult time rather than relying on other people

or escaping or advice or anything like that?

And I was like, oh wow, I never even thought about it like that.

I always say that I'm emotionally available.

I am an emotionally available partner,

but I have abandoned myself in the past

and I don't want to continue to do that.

So I say all that to say, God will not allow me to settle

and as frustrating as it is in the moment

when those divine disruptions happen

and when those doors slam in my face, I'm grateful

that God loves me enough to not water down the promises that He has for me.

Now with that being said, y'all, I'm going to go ahead and get out of here.

If this message resonated with you at all,

I pray that our affirmation at the top of the episode helps you

to raise your standards to match God's promises for your life.

And thank you for listening.

I really want to do more open thought, open letter episodes like this, this season.

So let me know if you liked it.

As always, you can shoot me an email at affirmations for Black Girls at gmail.com

or you could send us a DM on Instagram at affirmations for Black Girls.

But thank you guys so much for listening.

This was very cathartic for me to talk about my latest relationship fails

and oh, before I get out of here, I'm not really, I'm not actively dating right now.

I guess we'll talk about that in another episode,

but after the whole situation with the guy that I really like

that didn't go anywhere, I said, you know, I'm going to take a step back.

I'm not going to initiate with guys anymore because I initiated with him.

I'm always the initiator and I'm always getting the doors slammed into my face.

So I'm going to take a step back and I am actually going to focus on my career more this year

and build in my relationship with God and really trying to fine tune my ability

to hear God's voice in my life day to day.

So that's where I am with that.

Again, thank you guys so much for listening.

I'm going to go ahead and get out of here because I'll get for like 10 or 15 more minutes.

If you are not already subscribed to our YouTube channel, please go over to YouTube

and subscribe.

It's at affirmations for Black Girls.

We will be having more videos coming shortly.

This is just an audio only episode, but we will have more videos over there.

So go ahead and subscribe.

And please make sure that you rate the podcast and leave us a review on your favorite listening

platform.

I'm trying to hit Apple top 100 again in 2026, you guys, but with all of that being said,

I love you guys so much.

And I will see you again next week.

This is affirmations for Black Girls.

If you are a podcast host, listen up this once for you.

My name is Ally Jackson.

I'm the host of Finding Mr. Height, a dating and relationship podcast that I've been doing

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