#4812 Who Is Your Crawdaddy And What Does He Do?

0:00Oh, oh Seth, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Seth. Seth, come here, come here, come here. Come on, buddy. What's going on, man? I just talked to you about anything. I don't want to play basketball anymore. I love to play basketball. But if you don't want to play basketball, you don't got to. Really? No. I don't know. It's just my heart hasn't been in it. For the last year. And I found something that I love so much more. You're happy? You found something you love? That's all I need to hear. I'm over the moon. What is it? Stop motion animation. Like Rudolph. I mean, it's not all Christmas. I know. I just seen the Christmas ones, and they're always just like Santa can't do it.

1:00TVTL. You're talking about socialism. No, I'm not. I'm talking about not covering every square inch of populated America with houses and strip malls. Until you can't even remember what happened when you stand in a meadow at dusk. What happens in the meadow at dusk? Everything. Everything. Everything. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. Doggy butt. Doggy butt. Doggy butt. Doggy butt. Doggy butt. Doggy butt. Doggy butt. Doggy butt. Ori nor. Oh, that naughty old elf must be one mean bastard to give us this so early. Plashes of Quincy. All right, hello, good morning. Welcome everyone to a Thursday edition of TVTL. The show that just might be too beautiful to live. Too gross. Bro, hand it up. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. Hi, everyone. Welcome to my farm. Coming to you from the Matrona Hill Studio, first high above the mighty Columbia another beautiful day.

2:01Oh, ma, Pa, it's just beautiful. Here in the neighborhood as we have made it, folks, the haters and the losers said we would never make it the episode 4,812 in a collector series. But here we are. Let the fun begin. We got a show for you, including this. I guess you would say at extra, you might call it an exercise or a quiz that can apparently accurately predict where you are from, where you grew up based on what you call things, maybe how you pronounce things. I don't know. I haven't actually done the survey yet. You face. Who are you facing? But I know my good buddy Andrew has, and it nailed it for him. Down to the street, down to the actual street in Valley City, Ohio that he grew up on. So we'll see how it does. When I take the quiz today, you can take it at home. Wherever you may be. Speaking of my good friend Andrew Walsh, he's got Riz. Like he just does. He's a long-sounding co-bro of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships, and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend, although as I say that to you,

3:03technically speaking, it is the afternoon, because we're doing a little pre-taped today to account for the fact that while this is airing, as people are hearing this, I am on a very early flight to Orlando, Florida. Why are you going to Florida again? What are you doing? What are you doing? I'm doing financial business down there. I've got some offshore accounts that I need to go down and check on. I'm the shore of Miami Beach. That's kind of where I do it. I stand on the beach, and I look off into the distance, and that's where my offshore accounts are. Fantastic. I go to the Cleveland or Hotel, I assume. I sure am, my favorite place. I did watch a Seahawks game. You watch a football game there, I remember. Yeah, so that looms large in my imagination, because that's where the Dan Levitard show is or was. I think still is broadcasting from, and so of course, as somebody who has addicted to that show for so long, not unlike a lot of people here, places that you and I mention all the time

4:04here in Seattle or Portland or whatever. I've never been there. I can't imagine what it looks like, although I think I might have googled it before, and it looms very large in my head, but it wasn't what I expected. I, for some reason, when I heard Clevelander, and it was on, you know, right there on South Beach, on I think maybe Collins Avenue, I was picturing it as a sort of like wood panel, sort of cigar smoking kind of classy joint, and when I went there, it was basically a nightclub. It was part of town USA. It is the, it was part of town USA. Isn't it the epitome of like kind of the spring break energy of Miami Beach? Yeah, that's my understanding of it. The irony is I was watching, I believe a CX game last time I was there, and we are not reporting on what happened last night on the CX game, what happened Wednesday night, because we haven't watched it. We're pre-recording this show. So if you tuned in and you wanted to hear our hot takes on the game, you're gonna have to wait until tomorrow show. That's right. That's when we'll have our hot takes on the,

5:05well, Seattle CX, I'm going to Florida. Oh yeah, go ahead, sir. For a story that I think you might be jealous of, which is competitive lawnmower racing. Oh, you've been talking about this. Is this been a long time in the works? We were going to go to Maryland and interview some folks a while ago, but then it was decided that the, what's going on in Florida is somehow more interesting or more meaningful. And so I'm gonna be interviewing some people that their hobby is souping up their riding lawnmower so that they go very, very fast. And I am intent to drive one of them. And I think it'll be fun. I'm actually gonna look forward to it. That sounds fun. And again, the important thing is that CBS's money is green as far as I'm concerned. As your lawyer and financial advisor, that's the important thing. But let me ask you guys, I drive the lawnmower to the beach and then I distribute my money to the offshore account that CBS gives me. Are you wearing the suit that has all the $100 bills all over it? Like, I'm wearing the Matthew Lester suit, which is covered in question marks. And I want to tell people about free government programs. That's what I'm thinking of.

6:06No, what I was gonna say was, is there any concern about, by the time you, like, this is all produced and everything that you were more in the fall winter stage that people don't associate as much with lawnmowers. Like, is this one that they will save for next summer? Or is it not really matter? Cause it's kind of floor to based anyway. That is going to be something that I will leave in the capable hands of my friend and our producer, Mr. Young Kim. He will be advocating for the story and hopefully we'll get it on at some point. I'm being honest, Andrew. I am both interested in how this lawnmower thing goes. Cause you know, I talk a lot about lawn care and the like here on the show. But I also, in order to maintain my Alaska Airlines status, I need to book a couple more cross country trips between now and the end of the year. And so that is not part of my calculation. Yeah, you're not too worried about the placement of this. When you had a little bit more, it concerned over the frog jump one. It was a little bit more of a personal history. Well, and because it features my two, my large adult sons, you and John Sklarov.

7:07And so I feel a certain responsibility to get that thing on the air. I would like Bob and Joyce to get to see you on national television. They would enjoy that. Yeah, I mean, I listen. I know you won't enjoy it. No, I don't, I'll be a dad and stepmom. I don't even know if I'm really ambivalent. That sort of makes it something like I have strong opinions that are competing. But like for me, I was like, I mean, if it converted even one TBTL listener, I would feel more, but I just don't see any scenario in which any person happens to see a very brief shot of two guys on either side of you. And a brief mention that my podcast is gonna have people like Googling TBTL. Although I don't actually know for a fact, there was a few versions of the story. One of them, I said, me and my, me and my, whatever I said, you know, collaborators from the podcast I do TBTL. They thought that was too wordy. But then I made the argument for it. I said, it's more confusing if I just say my podcast buddies.

8:07So I don't know what the final version is. And we may never find out because it may never air because it was bumped because of the death of Gloria Steinem. Can I, and we will, we shall never forgive. We will forget, but we will not forgive. Hey, I don't know how you feel about shout outs, Luke, but I would like to shout out to somebody out because I got an email from somebody. And unfortunately, this is tied to my belly aching on Monday once again about feeling very insecure about my performance on the local radio station last week. But I was, you know, saying that I thought I was, I did not do the job that I was hoping to do on the radio. And I was a little chagrin about that. And so I did hear from a bunch of listeners, you know, we're a handful of listeners who said, hey, listen, I was listening on Friday and I enjoyed it. I, none of these insecurities that you talked about even entered my head. So that was really nice to hear. Then I did hear from one person who said, hey, listen, it was worse than you. You talked about this so much. I had to go back and listen to it, which is that's the strison effect right there. And one of the people who did that is a listener named Gloria, who said, I'm a new listener to TBTL. Now I'm going to pause there for a moment and say,

9:08does that mean she started listening in 2016? 2015, like how we define new listener on this show is, you know, very generous. But Gloria says, I've been listening for just a few weeks now. I mean, that is a babe in the woods. That is a lot. Are I indeed? So welcome Gloria. Let us know if we can, if we, if there's any inside jokes that you're not getting, although you seem to be hanging really well. Gloria says that she's been listening to after these messages and TBTL for the past few weeks was sort of looking for some, for I don't want to get too, because I asked, like how did you, how did you stumble on this? And it sounds like she's a live wire listener and has been for a while. And then was looking for some new podcasts. I kind of take her to kind of take her away a little bit, kind of distract her a little bit. And it sounds like things are going really well for her. But also that she's now on the department. What's that? In the distance. The fact that you're going well for her. And I said, and that it's being, it's effective. Well, I don't, I guess I'm being merely mouthed here, because I don't want to get into her personal business on the air, but essentially she found herself

10:09with more time on her hands than she wanted for a while, got into these podcasts. And now the extra time is no longer an issue. So I'm happy to hear that for Gloria, but also I'm glad to hear that she's still listening to TBTL. And also hunting down the archived audio of a radio show and to listen and then tell me that I'm not as, and then I'm being part of it. I'm going to tell her next time you do this show, the amount of publicity that we can review has received on this program. They better, they better make that worth your while. But okay, so sorry to make that about me again, but in all seriousness, I am, you know, in the parlance of our friends across the pond, Luke, I am very chuffed. Gloria, welcome to the fold. Just throw a few weeks in. I'm telling you Gloria, 10 years from now, you're going to blink your eyes and say, I can't believe I've been listening to this show for 10 years hearing these guys tell brand new stories they've never told or repeated before. I want to sort of, I want a level set for Gloria. I hope you like these anecdotes and observations

11:11because you're going to be hearing them along. You're going to, you're going to have a better understanding of our past than we do as the story of the ball. I hope you enjoy hearing the same story many times. Best case scenario I preface it with and I've talked about this on the show before. Worst case scenario, I have no memory of having shared the story or hot take or what have you. And it's just, you know, it's just listening to someone's slide into, senility. Two people slide into senility. Wait, where are you? Yeah. We're literally the meme of the woman saying, let's go back home now, Grandma. That's, that's, I am sort of my flight, which again, by the time people are hearing this, I will hopefully be in the air, but it's a very early flight. It's like a 6 30 AM flight and I was almost debating going down. So again, it's Wednesday as we're recording this, which means also we're going to do the blurs days

12:11on Friday. They're going to be the first days or the fries days so that we don't miss anybody. But I'm sort of debating, because I'm about 35 minutes, 40 minutes from the airport. I was almost debating going down and just staying at one of those hotels that's right next to the airport tonight on CBS's dime while they still have some money. So that tomorrow morning, I don't have to wake up super early and be stressed about getting the airport on. I don't know. I'm such an Andrew move. I would love it if you did that. But I like, I also, I like sleeping in my own bed. You know, I recently rotated my mattress. Oh, did you? Now, can you flip yours over or is there a very, there's a top and a bottom tier mattress? Yeah, me too. So I just, I spun it around because again, it's primarily me here by myself. And so I started to worry that one side of the mattress was just going to have a Shaquille O'Neill sized impression. Remember that, Simon Rich sketched the hero for SNL

13:13that never aired where a guy and his wife have a tempera-pedic mattress. And for some reason, every time the guy comes home from work, there's a Shaquille O'Neill. This one Shaquille was hosting SNL. And there was just a indentation of Shaquille O'Neill in the tempera-pedic mattress. No, and you know about this because it was cut, but you read about it in the book. Yeah, I think when I interviewed him on live wire, I asked him about sketches and writing it as an L. And if he had a favorite sketch that he wrote that didn't make the air and he said, yes, this one I wrote about a Shaquille O'Neill sized indentation in the tempera-pedic mattress. But I think it's an incredible bit. That is fantastic. But I got worried that I was going to be doing that to my mattress, so I rotated the thing around. So now I'm sleeping on the side where there was no one sleeping on it primarily. So now it's like hanging off the ends awkwardly because you've now put it horizontally on the vertical. I almost did that. I couldn't tell if it was a perfect square or not. No joke. Oh, yeah. Like, how do they make these days? And I noticed that because I'm lazy. And as I was midway through the rotation, I was like, well, is that good enough? Yeah. And then I realized, no, it's kind of not

14:14going to the end of the bed. And it's also kind of hanging off the sides. So I did the full rotation. And of course, washed my sheets. And it was a wonderful first night of feeling like I had rejuvenated the mattress. You could tell, huh? It wasn't just psychosomatic. It's probably psychosomatic. But it felt, I don't know, it felt fluffier. It felt less, it felt less used to me. So, well, I'm very, I've been tempted to do that for a while. Of course, you know, I got Genevieve here, but you'll be shocked to hear that Genevieve doesn't weigh as much as I do. So I still think that it would be, it would be in my best interest to probably rotate that mattress because sometimes it would happen to me lately that I under no circumstance should be talking about publicly on a podcast. So let's all just keep this, Gloria, keep this to yourself. But Gloria, do not tell the week in review people. I don't want to, I mean, I don't want to concern the listeners, but one thing that's been happening to me lately is when I fall asleep, my, I really shouldn't be admitted that my arms are going numb. A lot. That's never an issue though, right?

15:16There's never been a TV show where the tagline was a norm because I'm not one, not one that deals with death and dying. That is, of course, a six feet under referendum. I miss that, I miss that show. But anyway, I think it's probably some sort of a nerve pinching. Yeah, I have a feeling of a pinched nerve. Yeah, because if it were, if that were the sign of a sort of a heart event, you'd be gone. Yeah, exactly. It would be happening kind of on the regular. I bet you that there's, can I ask a personal question? Well, yeah, let me give you one follow up and then you can ask the personal question. And now that I'm nervous about that, I'm going to make this a very long follow up. I'm going to fill a buster. No, I was just going to say, I'm just going to say, I should do that. The, this was concerning to me, obviously, but then when we went to Cleveland, Ohio, and Valley City, Ohio for the frog jump recently, we were staying in that Airbnb in Cleveland and it didn't happen there, Luke. And that's when I was like, you know what? I think that maybe this is mattress related.

16:16You know, because I was very comfortable in Cleveland on whatever mattress they were using. So do you still have the contact information of the Airbnb folks? And can we get that mattress to Seattle, do you think? I do, and I will ask. That was the nature of my personal question was, what's the story on the mattress that you and Genevieve are using? Do you remember when you acquired it? Did y'all buy it? New. We did. It was definitely high quality item. It was a new mattress at some point. I mean, new to us, we got it in the alley behind our house. Yeah. It hadn't it had barely rained that month. You've pretty much got it before the rain had a chance to set in. Exactly. Exactly. It was damp, but it hadn't gotten into the bones of the mattress. No, it had gotten deeply into the bones of the mattress, but we hit it with a hairdryer. Oh yeah. So we're pretty good with that. No, it was a new mattress at some point. In fact, I think we've been together for a long time. So I think we've been mattress shopping more than once, but this was not like a, neither one of us

17:17were big believers in the, you get it through the mail kind of mattress. I know that one of them was a sponsor of ours for a while, but we only use the, this sort of technology that laid above the mattress to cool us off or heat us up. What was that company? It was a hate sleep that we used. Didn't I like send you, you were using the eight sleep and you loved and then your cat pop-tolls in it. And then I sent you the one that I had because I actually didn't really use it or something. Exactly. Was it a sleeping on that? No, because then the second one popped too because of the cats. But we never put that on the mattress that comes with the eight sleep. One of those like it comes in a box and then a, you know, like one of those. Yeah. So this was like a real, you know, it's probably, I mean, listen, Genevieve's in charge of large purchases. So I'm sure it's not like the most expensive mattress you can buy, but it also was a new mattress that we specifically picked out. I think the bigger issue here is in quality of it. Might, we might be looking at age now, mine and the mattresses. But also I think, and I don't want to throw her under the bed as it were.

18:21But I think Genevieve likes a stiffer mattress than I do. And this is where you get into the sleep number situation that we're talking about today. Or, or you could get a mattress topper, which I bet you anything. They make them, that's what I have on mine, which is, so we've got the mattress and I've got this kind of memory foam thing that goes on top of the mattress and kind of, you know, straps down with these, with these straps. And it is a game changer. It makes the mattress very, very comfortable. I do like kind of that, that, you know, memory foam kind of sinking down, feeling not everybody likes that. But I wonder if they make one that's got, you know, maybe a little bit more rigid or whatever for one side. Genevieve and a little bit more squishy for you. I wonder about that. Somebody has had to have invented that. If not, we should. That's our million dollar idea. That's our million dollar idea. I thought it was me self-flagulating on the show. That's our hundred dollar idea. And it's getting us by for now. Yeah. But, you know, Gloria, get ready. I've told this story before.

19:21But for many, for a shockingly long duration of my adult life, I was sleeping on a mattress from our friend Bill Radke. Oh, really? Speaker the devil. Me and my first ex-wife, I believe. He gave me a mattress when I was living on my own that was his old mattress, which look, I don't want to get into Bill's personal life. But let's just say he had an active social life as a man in his 20s. And God knows what was happening on that mattress, but I had it after him. And I was using it. And I think when I got married, that was the mattress. Maybe that we used, you know, I think we might have even took it to L.A. or something. And it wasn't until I got divorced and moved to New York and set up my own place in Brooklyn that I went out and bought a new mattress. And it was a game changer. It was an absolute game changer. And I was, I mean, I was like 30, which just, you know me and how kind of particular I am and how, I don't know, I don't know just how much I enjoy acquiring things. I can't believe it was that late in the game that I wanted to have a new mattress that I bought.

20:25And again, it was so much better than this. And I was like, you know, you could feel the springs in it. And it was just a bad situation. So I highly recommend getting a decent mattress if you can. I, you know, two of the mattresses in the two upstairs rooms in my house are mattresses that I bought on the internet from Wayfair and they're totally fine. So there's a kind of inner box and they kind of, they expand when you open them or they just delivered a full on old school mattress. They were like shrink wrapped. I mean, they're like in that kind of like vacuum seal in a box. Yeah. You cut the, you cut the seal and you put them, and I'm like, this is never going to work. This thing is way too compacted from its journey here. You come back in a couple of hours and you've got a mattress and they are very comfortable. People that have slept on them have all reported that they're comfy mattresses. But you're not sleeping on one of those, right? You're sleeping on one with actual springs and stuff that is more, right? I know I leave the bad ones for my kids. I'm sleeping on a, I'm sleeping on some kind of a slightly nicer mom. No, I think that makes, I mean, honestly, I think that makes sense for a guest room totally.

21:27But I think for us, we will probably, but as you've mentioned on the show before, I mean, it's almost, I don't know if you had a actual bit about this or not officially speaking, but like just, or some, I feel like somebody did it. It's just like, that idea of just like going, like mattress shopping in the old way, which is probably what Genevieve and I will do the next time we need a mattress is going to a physical location, going to one of the many mattress firms around town, one of them that is probably next door to another mattress firm. Sleep country next to a mattress firm. Right. Which I think is the same company, right? Didn't mattress firms just buy them all up? What was the one, oh, before that, one of them was sleep train. And I was always just flabbergasted. We would be at Cairo radio. They'd go to a break and they would talk about, it's the sleep train. And they make a huge, loud train noise. I'm just like, people don't want to hear a really loud train coming through their bedroom when they're trying to fall asleep. All of that is to say, as you would say, that's just going mattress shopping. It makes me feel like a, like a eight year old or a 10 year old having to go try on pants again.

22:28Like, are you kidding me? We got to go to JC Penney's and I got to try on a whole bunch of pants. Like I got to go lay down on these mattresses and like pretend like I'm comfortable to figure out. Will I be comfortable in this six weeks from now in the comfort of my own home? It's like your movie theater thing, but way worse. Like you don't like the new movie theater recliners because they're, you know, a little too comfortable for people and a little too casual. This is even worse. This is like lying down while somebody with a tucked in collared shirt and an ill fitting tie. And that is the official uniform. He's in love with people that are selling mattresses. It's honest work. You got somebody who got to do it. But I've never, I've never dealt with a mattress sales person who I thought, yes, that's going to be the fashion choice I'm going to be making. It, it, it, it seems like sometimes it might be the first time that person is wearing a tie. Although, yeah, it's probably. I don't want to be, I don't want to sound classes, but I, what I, for some reason just remember, a lot of guys in kind of like a semi tucked in collared shirt with a tie watching

23:32me while I try to get a sense of what it's going to be like with this mattress in my life for the next 10 to 15 years holding a clipboard and just silently checking a box. It says slunk jeep. They sell mattresses. Why don't you go to slunk jeep? Who is that? Was that that's mattress firm? Is that, isn't that what that mattress firm? Never let me, let's see. Are you looking it up or am I slunk jeep? And why can I, I can never remember his name, but I love our slunk jeep guy. There's no wine in it. Leaves driver. Leaves driver. There's no, when you type in slunk jeep, you just get skunk jeep and that's not what I'm looking for. There's not many things better than a hug. But in Nashville, the barbecue comes close. It's, oh, yeah, does it say, it's, it's, it's, uh, AI is telling me that that is a mattress firm advertising. If you continue to have this norm situation, I do think you should consider some kind of a, you know, maybe a change, I mean, maybe you could go for one of those things where like, you can make your side a little softer than the others.

24:32Did I tell you that when Becca and I were in, there's a couple of summers ago when we were over there in Europe and we got an Airbnb in London, I believe we were in London. And the mattress was, as if it was made of cement, it was the craziest thing in the bedroom. And I became obsessed with the comments, the reviews of this Airbnb because no one, I had to go down like a hundred comments to find somebody mentioning that the bed was like, it was like lying on a cement floor. Like I've never experienced, you know, there are firm mattresses and then there are this, this is like was comically, comically hard. Like I was like, I don't think we can even sleep on this. Now weirdly enough, by four in the morning, my body had adjusted enough that I was, you know, I've got some sleep. But like when I sat down on it, it was literally like this thing was made out of concrete or something. And then I was like, how is this not what everyone's review of this place is?

25:35Is like nice neighborhood. The bed is made of concrete. I have a lot of questions. Did you stay there more than one night? Yes. I mentioned like 4 a.m. so multiple nights. So the next couple of nights was it sort of the same thing you sit on it at first and you're like, what is going on with this? But then you kind of ease into it throughout the night. Or did you get used to it by day two or three? What was different about night two? I think we maybe stayed there for two nights. We were at this other really great place for a couple nights, but it was only available for a limited time. So we swapped over to this other place. And what was the thing about the second night was I understood intellectually that I would be able to fall asleep on it. What was stressful the first night was like, I think Becca was, I think, I think, I was in there before me and she was like, you're not going to believe this mattress. And I was like, what do you mean? And then I sat down and I was like, are you kidding me? And I was like, we are not going to get any sleep on this mattress. This is an impossibility. That's when I started scrolling the comments going like, how are people not talking about this? How is everyone like great neighborhood? Really responsive, you know, Airbnb host. I was like, did anyone else sleep on the concrete bed? And there was one lady. And that review that you did find where they kind of like, yeah, everything was pretty good

26:38here except this bed is ridiculous. Yes. But it was again, it was like, it was like 40 or 50 comments down. I couldn't believe that anyone else would write a review of this and not have this be the initial thing that they said. But I did fall asleep and then by night too, I was still like, this is insane, but I knew that I would eventually fall asleep. But I mean, it was wildly uncomfortable. I don't know if that's a British thing or if that's a... That's what I was going to ask. But you stayed in other places, you said. We stayed in other hotels. We stayed in other Airbnb's. We went in the place where they filmed Downton Abbey and I didn't sit on any of the beds. They actually had a lot of signs saying, please don't do that. But this was the only bed like this that I encountered and it was truly wild to me that whoever ran this Airbnb would think that this was a reasonable thing. But again, nobody was... I think I wrote them a review that said, did you? I believe I did and I think I said, I can actually probably go back and find it. I mean, I wasn't trying to be mean to them because the actual unit was very nice. But I was just kind of like, heads up. This bed is crazy.

27:39It's absolutely crazy. So, I know that we want to think the donors in a moment. But before that, and this isn't going to pay off, I feel like it's a very visual commercial but it's been so long and as football season begins, which it will, in our timeline, let's get in some Leav Shriver. Let's listen to some slunchype. Junk slunner is a slippery slope in America. Joanne here hasn't slept in weeks. As he bed. You're right. I shouldn't quit my job. Not a good choice, Joanne. Oh, look. Now she's making friends. Fish go well. Fill the bag, man. Don't let Junk sleep lead you to a life of crime. Go see the sleep experts at max. I lost the thread on that. He never says slunchype on that one, but I was very distracted. You know who the woman at the diner is in this commercial. Give me a hint. Okay. I'm working on it. It came up somewhat recently on the show. He's a woman who is in another commercial, but also has a very brief appearance in an

28:42Apple TV show that we love. A very brief, weird appearance in an Apple TV show that we love. So is the appearance on Severance? The appearance is on Severance. It's not Brianna of Tarte, is it? No. It is the woman who is in Rickens book club who has to share her book with the Adam Scott, I think, and she's weird. She has like, does she have a soft spot on her head? There's some like little character trait about her. She either has a bird on her head or a soft spot on her head that she can't touch. And she's a little bit weird, but I believe she's also the same woman who is in that, I think, progressive campaign where somebody could throw a red flag if they had a disagreement or a argument. And she's the one who's, she and her husband are a camping trip. And they both say, I thought you brought the sleeping bags and she said, you definitely said you brought the sleeping bags and then she throws the red flag and she's very like

29:44confident and smug in that commercial. It's a great performance. I believe she's also this sort of strange junk sleep lady in this commercial. I am now fully down the rabbit hole of this Airbnb that we rented in Chelsea in London. I have read at least 30 comments and nobody has mentioned the slunk Jeep. Nobody Heather from Khan Shokhin, Pennsylvania. The stay was absolutely wonderful. It's in a super convenient location. The actual unit and building is very comfortable and nice. They were accommodating and excellent hosts. Candace of St. Cloud, Florida says, absolutely beautiful home and a fantastic location with easy access to the tube. The home is even better than the pictures. We loved our stay and would highly recommend. We stayed during a heat wave but it was still comfortable with the fans provided and opening the windows. Thanks for sharing your home. Did you not sleep on the bed, Candace? Can you search in page? Have you searched in page to look for the word mattress or bed?

30:44It's control. Control F on a PC. I don't know what it is over there. It's kind of complicated because it's comments and I have the enlarges. It's wanting to search on the website but not on the basically the screen that pops up for the comments. I just, I feel like I'm being a gas lit here. I feel like I am being, now it would take me forever to scroll all the way back to my comment. We're still in July of 2026. You have to keep doing show more reviews. Oh. Salie. Okay. Salie is on my list. Salie, Gold Coast Australia, July of 2026. This place had a magic to it. The photos don't do it just in the look, just this in the location is top notch. The beds were super comfortable and the house was a treat. Now come on. That's, that is from Australia, right? Is that what you said? I'm wondering if the beds do the beds sleep backwards down there? Is that what's going on with her? That's exactly what has to do with it. I just, now also maybe there was, if I remember right, nobody cares about this except me.

31:46I'm going to text this to Becca though. She'll remember and she'll be equally angered as I am. I think it was like there was one bedroom with the bed. That's what we slept on. Maybe there was a pull out couch in the living room that we never quite resorted to. I don't think there were multiple bedrooms, but saying the beds were comfortable, I just, I don't understand how somebody could make physical contact with this bed and not realize that it was wildly hard. Okay, here we go. Yohanna gave it one star. I don't know what Yohanna's problem was, but I want to see. There was a security issue with the accommodation because the windows could not be locked and I did not feel safe. Okay. Yohanna. Yes. You can grow up. Anyway, I want more mattress talk on here, but I'm not going to get it. All right. Well, how about this? I think everybody's ready for a little change of topic. How about we thank some of our donors. This is 100% listener supported podcasting here on a, well, as you're hearing this, a

32:47Thursday, where we are going to thank donors who are supporting the show, including our friend Nigel Herbig of Ken Moore, Washington. All right. That's my mayor. Mayor Nigel. Don't blame me. I voted for Nigel. I'm getting that纽. Okay. The mayor of Ken Moore. That's one of my favorite. His honor. His honor. That's right. Mayor of Ken Moore. Do you know that it was like well after the run of the show, Mayor of Easttown, that I didn't know it was Mayor of Easttown. It's Mayor of Easttown. Is that right? Oh, it's her name. Because I didn't know that. I thought it was, I thought it was a show called The Mayor of Easttown. This was a show that you really liked, right? Or you, you think so? Okay. And Genevieve was really into it. It was a cultural phenomenon. And it was years later, I believe, that I realized it was very good. Isn't there another like a Jeremy Renner thing where he's the mayor of Kingston or something? Yes. And they were on around the same time. I need to check out the renner verse, honestly, to figure that out.

33:48But yes, that was, let me actually get my renner app up. And added to some of the confusion, I believe. I gotta get rid of this comments, sorry. I'm getting distracted. I'm still looking at comments. It's making me so mad. I don't know how mad it's making Kelly sweat of a... Yeah. ...Rod Island. Thank you, Kelly. A long time. But down to us on the show. Yes. Thank you, Kelly, for all the support all these years. We really appreciate you. We also appreciate long time friend of the show and supporter Donna Murdal of Brea. I've heard of La Brea Tar pits. Is there a connection there? I think Brea California is not in Los Angeles proper and the La Brea Tar pits are in Los Angeles proper. You know that enormous apartment village called La Brea, kind of in the middle of Los Angeles? Yeah, I think there are Fairfax and stuff. I've been to the Tar pits.

34:48We took a tour. Remember we ran into what's his name from an awesome show, Great Job, and he did the caricature of me and Jenna. Oh, yes. You ran into him years later and Blake didn't have a name. I did too, and he got very mad at me. We was annoyed. I think I was trying to like, you face time with the person. You were trying to take a photo of him, I think. And he was like, hey, if you're taking a photo of me, you got to tip me, right? He was selling his wares on the street or whatever. Yeah, I was trying to take a picture to send to you and Jenna. And the thing is, I was going to tip him. Why can't we think of this guy? I'll look up his name while you tell the story. He is a kind of a, let's just call him an outside artist. He does like puppet shows and music, and he was sort of made famous by Tim and Eric. They would have him on John Liebman or something, something Liebman. Liebman Heart. It's something Liebman Heart. David Liebman Heart. David Liebman Heart, I believe. Yep. Yeah, it is. And there it is. David Liebhart. And I was walking out of the Hollywood Bowl, and I saw him performing, and I was going to, I took a picture to send to you to. And then I was going to give him five bucks, but he didn't know I was going to give him five bucks. He yelled at me while I was taking the picture.

35:48Because you, yeah, because he's, he's out there trying to earn a dime, I guess. Yeah, you know, fairs, fair. Yeah. I was going to yell at Katie with them of Chicago, Illinois, but then I realized, oh no, she is donating to the show. So no yelling. I call up each listener, and I yell at them because I don't know if they're going to donate or not, but I just want to make sure that, you know, they know it's important to support the show. And you know what I always say, if you're not with them, you're against them. And we are definitely with Katie and Katie is with us. So thank you, Katie. We sure are. Thanks, Katie. Thanks to Meg Curtis. I'm going to go out there and Melrose, Massachusetts. Ooh, it'll zig when you're thinking of his ad. I don't think I knew there was ever going to be another Los Angeles neighborhood. Yeah, me too. I think I'm going to be flying right over Melrose, Massachusetts a bit later in the week because I'm going up to Vermont to do another interview with the singer Noah Khan in a Stowe Vermont. So next week, I will be recording the show from, actually, I'll be in staying in Burlington, Vermont. That'll put me sort of in Meg Curtis's neck of the world. Thanks, Meg. Thanks to Burton Cooley, our pal Burton out there in Lakeville, Minnesota.

36:51Thank you, Burton. Haven't seen Burton in a while, right? We feel like we're in the last event that we saw Burton at, but Burton is a good friend of the show. And we appreciate you and we appreciate all of our donors. Thanks for making TBTL possible. We wouldn't be here without you. Hello and welcome to Top Story. I have actually been very excited about this, Andrew. You mentioned on KUOW, but then also on this show about this. Would you call it a questionnaire? Yeah, a questionnaire. It's kind of a quiz. What's more of a questionnaire to help you identify where you're from based on your dialect, the way you say certain words or the phrases that you used to describe certain things in life. And basically, so there's an irony here. This came up on TBTL because I said this was like the thing that, quote unquote, made me smile. This is the thing that I brought to the radio show the other day as my little thing just share on the show. The little thing I stumbled on that made me smile this week.

37:52And I took this quiz. I saw a bunch of people taking this quiz on Blue Sky and saying like, oh my god, this quiz got my ass. You know, like I took this quiz. It's 25 questions. And it completely identified where I'm from. Like people are amazed by this. So I'm like, great, this is a fantastic thing that makes me smile. I tell it on the radio. I kind of crash and burn in my telling of it, but whatever we talked about that on the show earlier this week. I have now received emails from listeners saying, hey, can you send me an actual link to that thing because I can't find it anywhere. The only one I can find is from 2013. And so I've gone back to it. This isn't even new. This is something that made me smile in 2013, apparently. And for some reason, it's just making the rounds again. It got resurfaced for some reason. Or it just happened to get resurfaced amongst a few people that I follow on Blue Sky. And happened to see literally on the bus on the way back from the Mariners game the other day. And I took it on my phone. But listen, this is one of those things where who cares when it's from. Like, you know, so if I didn't ever take it before and a lot of the people who I've told about this had never taken it before.

38:57And they're everybody so far has been pretty flabbergasted at the accuracy of this. Now, it's 25 questions long. And so I sort of feel like I should launch into this unless you need any more setup. No, I'm already getting it to. Okay, so I'm going to read to you this from the New York Times. It says, what does the way you speak say about where you're from? Answer all the questions below to see your personal dialect map. It says the data for this quiz and map shown here have come from over 350,000 survey responses collected. Oh, yeah, I should have noticed in 2013 by Josh Katz, a graphics editor for the New York Times. Who then turned this into this questionnaire? So I think that's really fascinating that it's based on that much research. Here's the first question and a lot of these are going to have a significant multiple choices. Question number one, how would you address a group of two or more people? You might want to write these down. You all use you lot, you guys, you ones,

39:58you, y'all, or other. If I want to take the direct express train to Pittsburgh, I would say use, I would say use guys, but I really would be. I would be in, right? Well, actually, sorry, in's would be Pittsburgh and use guys would be filling. Okay, right, okay. I would say you guys, I have tried to switch, I do say y'all, as we know, when I'm in the South, I do say y'all, no. Yeah. And I like the fact that it's not particularly gendered and it's kind of a nice general way to address people, but I would probably say you guys would still be my default. That's what I say, too. And so just so you know that I answered the same way, I don't think we're going to get any results until you keep, oh, this is so much cooler on desktop as opposed to mobile because it's kind of now going to slowly narrow it down as you answer these questions. Question number two is, what do you call the rubber sold shoes worn in gym class or for athletic activities? Do you call them sneakers?

40:59Sneakers. Shoes, gym shoes, sand shoes, jumpers, tennis shoes, running shoes, runners, trainers. I have no general word for this or other. And you go with sneakers. When I came back from England, I was calling them trainers, but that was just because I wanted people to be impressed. Sure. I would call them sneakers. That's interesting. I went with tennis shoes, by the way. I grew up just calling them tennis shoes and almost not even pronouncing them tennis shoes, but tennis shoes sort of like one word. Yeah, but I think, yeah, I think my mom said sneaks. So I think I heard tennis shoes, but I think I was a sneaker's guy. That's really interesting. I don't know if you want me giving this away, but it looks like sneakers is very concentrated in the kind of New England and Northeast area, which surprised me. Which would, I mean, I may, you know, get some certain, like I said, or like Philadelphia kind of energy on this because I learned how to talk from listening to my mom. Yeah. There might be things that I say that are not so much Seattle as they are, Philly, by way of Susie.

42:00Another one with a lot of multiple choice. What do you call a large motor vehicle used to carry freight? Semi, semi truck, tractor trailer, trailer truck, transfer truck, transport truck and trailer, semi trailer, 18 wheeler, truck, rig or big rig, Lori. I know that you called it a Lori when you got back from the, from Europe or other. Other. What do you call it? Just other. Oh, that's what you like to look out. Look out. There's another coming. God, I just that other almost side swiped me. I would say semi truck, semi truck, not semi. Okay. I think I went with semi. You're going with semi truck. What are you saying? Yes, about August 2025. Luke Seattle, Washington, three stars. Very communicative and help fix a mistake I made in our booking schedule, which I really appreciated. Great neighborhood clean unit. Two things. The bed is incredibly hard. Unlike anything I've tried to sleep on.

43:00It felt like sleeping on the box spring. Also, there is a washer, but no dryer. So don't wash your clothes the night before leaving or you'll be packing wet laundry like we were with those caveats noted would recommend for the price. Nice. A three out of how many? Five or four? Tough, but fair. Tough, but fair. And also I would say semi truck. Semi truck already filled that one out. Here's the next one. What do you call the small road parallel to the highway? A frontage road, a service road, an access road, a feeder road, a gateway? We have them, but I have no word for them or I've never even heard of this concept or other. Well, the thing is I would now call it a frontage road, but I only learned that about maybe a few years ago when Becca and I were in Texas on a road trip. And we had the mapping software going in the car. And somehow we just kept ending up on different like frontage roads. And it became kind of a bit where like, oh, good, another frontage road, like they would be named that. And is it, did you get that where do you, oh, they would be named that you'd see it on the signs?

44:02It wasn't something. Or even on the, it beyond the mapping software, like take a left on this frontage road. But there was, that's what they kept calling a bunch of these little roads off of the freeway. What about before that? Did you just not have a word for it? I didn't have a word for it. I think I went with access road, but it's not something that I felt like I grew up with. I just sort of learned at some point that they were called access roads, but you're going, I think that's fair. I think you called it a frontage road, right? Like, well, but I didn't grow up if we're trying to figure out where I'm from. I didn't grow up calling it a frontage road. So I'm trying to be accurate. Well, it does say the question isn't what did you call them? It is what do you call them? Oh, okay. I would say it's not as possible with frontage road. What do you call the small freshwater lobster often found in lakes and streams? Croddead. Croddead. Okay, here are the options. Crawfish, crayfish, craw, crowfish, crawdead, mud bug. Don't worry, I'll beat it. I have no word for this critter, but you're going with crawdead, right? I was obsessed with trying to catch crawdeads in green lake.

45:04Okay, there's a kid, Andrew. I'd go down there with like a chicken bone, like a little like a chicken wing on a string. And we'd put it down in this crack kind of that was underwater, but it was like part of this sort of shoreline and we would try to catch crawdeads. It never worked, but we tried. That was exactly what I wanted to be doing as a kid. I would always hear about, because my parents would talk about going into the metro parks and Cleveland as kids and catching craw... I think they said crawfish, though. And so I never had the chance to do that, but that was exactly... I was like, why can't I have that kind of childhood where we catch crawfish? But also, I don't like touching icky things. And also, I never even caught any crawfish. There was rumors that some kids had, but we never actually even got any. There you go. But we're going with crawdead on that one. Okay, sounds good. What do you call a traffic situation in which several roads meet in a circle? Do you call it a rotary, a roundabout, a circle, a traffic circle, a traffic circus? I have no word for this or other. Not my traffic circus, not my monkeys.

46:06I would say a roundabout. That's what I call them as well. And by the way, I did decide that I'm going to call the show today. Who is your crawd Eddie and what does he do? That's great. All right. What do you call the area of grass? Oh, this should be easy for you. What do you call the area of grass between the sidewalk and the road? The irony, Andrew, is no one who listens to this show. We'll ever forget the term, tree lawn. Because of your story about forgetting the term tree lawn, which I had never heard until you said that. So let me give you the options because maybe one of these will ring more like true to you before I skewed things. I've already got my answer, but please give them. Oh, please, what's your answer? I did a parking strip. A parking strip. Okay, here are the options, berm, parking, tree lawn, terrace, curb strip, beltway, verge. I have no word for this or other. So don't even give us parking strip as an option. It's where they give you parking. And I'm a little bit on the fence here about whether I check parking or other.

47:07I wouldn't call it parking. Yeah. Just like the word parking. That would be way confusing. Okay, you're going with other. I'm going with other. Okay, we have to be as intellectually honest about this possible. For the record, I actually think tree lawn is a nicer word for it. Yeah. I like tree lawn. And I think it actually describes it better than the parking strip. Because you might have a tree. You could have a tree in there. It's a little small piece of lawn. Parking strip sounds like you're parking on it or something. I already switched the page and I can't go back. Was planting strip one of the options that I read. Because I think I don't remember you reading it. Since then I've heard people say planting strip. Which also makes sense to me when I was walking around green wood the other day. A lot of people are maybe the green lake area. I get sort of on the whatever in that area. Nice, a bunch of really nice houses with those little strips. But a lot of people were planting things in them. And I think a planting strip is a nice word for that. Yes, you're all better than parking strip. This is number eight of 25. What do you call the night before Halloween? Do you call it gate night, trick night, mischief night, cabbage night,

48:07goosey night, devil's night, devil's eve. I have no word for this or other. I don't have a word for it. We did not grow up referring to the night before Halloween as anything. I also, I'm skewing the data because we also didn't celebrate Halloween when I was a kid. But we mentioned it wasn't like the word was verboten. But we just certainly didn't have a word for the night before Halloween. This one is going to be a little bit difficult because of the accent that I'm bringing to the side of the conversation. So I'm going to ask you to spell out a couple of words here. Spell out the word c-o-t. Spell out the word c-a. You mean, pronounce the word. Well, I was just maybe thought if you wanted to look at it because I'm looking at it. Oh, okay, got you. There's the word c-o-t. And there's the word c-a-u-g-t. And the question here is, do you pronounce these two words the same? Yes. Cot. I pronounce it in cot and cot. Cot and cot. And see, I think I said different because I think I say the thing you sleep on is a cot.

49:08And I think the thing that you do to someone who's been mischievous is caught. I say cot and cot. You say cot is better. That's more, that's actually more formal. But I think I just am lazy and say cot. You say cot and cot. I cot and cot. Been caught stealing. Hey, been caught stealing. bailin once when I was nine. Question number ten ironically, how do you pronounce ant, A-U-N-T. So I put my finger on the scale there, A-U-N-T, how do you pronounce that? With the vowel in A to sound like ant, the insect. With the vowel in cot, C-A-U-G-H-T. Int. And then the next one is, I have the same vowel in AH. The wordcott and in Ant. I don't know if that made sense to you at all. To sound like Aint, like, hey, get over here. Aint Mary, I use A H when referring to the general concept of an ant, but I use A N T like the insect when I refer to a specific person by name.

50:12I say ant like the insect and like the person married to my mom or dad. I just say the same way. It's just ant. That would just get some more and more complicated. That isn't even the end of it, but trust me, you just say whether you're talking about a group of people or a concept or your actual ant, you just say hello, ant, Mary. Okay. Uh-huh. I do have an ant, Mary Lou, actually. And we have, I have an ant, Mary, whose siblings call her mare and we're just talking about the mare of East Town. Question 11, what do you call the small gray bug that curls up into a ball when it is touched? Potato bug. Let's see here. Is that one of these? That is not. Oh, yeah. There it is. Okay. The, uh, options for people who wanted to know is pill bug, doodle bug, which is, I believe, a digable planets, uh, performer, uh, roly-poly, sow bug, basketball bug, twiddle bug, roll up bug, wood, louse, millipede, centipede. I don't know what this creature is, but I have no, oh, no, I do know what this creature is.

51:13I have no word for it. I, or I have no idea what you're talking about. It is a potato bug is your answer. So what did, uh, potato bug is my answer? What did you answer? I think I wrote, I know what this creature is, but I have no word for it, maybe. I don't think potato bug. Yeah, I don't think I, I don't, I don't think this really comes into my conversation. Like I, I think I probably just punted on this one. Okay. Okay. Yeah, we, we were potato bug. Yeah. And you see them, you don't usually see them in those. It's just like they, they just curl up on the sidewalk. They're tiny, right? Yes. Yeah. There are actually some of them do occasionally make their way into the Moderna Hill studio in the back of them. And you say potato potato. What do you call it when the rain falls while the sun is shining? Is this, oh, this came up on the show about a year ago. Yeah. Sun shower. The wolf is giving birth. The devil is beating his wife. Yikes. Remember that came up on the show because I told you, uh, monkeys wedding, foxes wedding,

52:16pineapple rain, liquid sun. I, wait a second. No, I'm sorry. Well, what do you call the weed in the bottom drawer of your desk? Uh-huh. Liquid sun, pineapple rain, foxes wedding. No. Okay. Those were all that sun shower. By the way, pineapple rain is a great, I love that. Great name. That's very evocative. I will have to say, unfortunately, uh, we did not have a word for any of this. Yeah. Me too. I learned about the, the, I had heard it was as somebody at pop up had told me a different one. They're like in Thailand or something. They call it some animals having a wedding. That's what it's called when they're, but then when I looked it up later, I saw a monkey's wedding or a fox's wedding, but not the animal that the person that pop up had told me about. But then that's also when I saw that some people call it the devil is beating his wife, which let's admit it is dark AF. Yeah. It's, I don't even like, I don't even like, I mean, I don't even think devil is real. But if he is, I don't want him doing that. No. And even, let's assume that the devil's wife is equally evil.

53:16I still don't think that that's what should happen. How do you know? I'm okay with her beating him, which is strange. I should not be in favor of anybody doing that to anyone, but I kind of feel like he's got it coming. So there are three words here that I probably all say the same way, Luke, but I don't want to be presumptuous. It's Mary, like the name Mary, your Aunt Mary Lou. There's Mary as in Mary Christmas and there's Mary, something that you do with somebody that you love if you want to spend the rest of your lives together, right? Mary, Mary and Mary. Or a series of people that you text with occasionally. And why does this say X Mary here? What is, what does that mean? It says all three are pronounced the same, all three are pronounced differently. And then it kind of breaks it down how they're pronounced differently. Do you say them all the same or should I get into the details here? I say them all the same, exactly the same. Mary, Mary and Mary. All three are pronounced the same. That's great. For those of you looking at your watch, I want you to know where on question number 14 out of 25, so on the home stretch here, depending on how you define home stretch.

54:17The next question is how do you define home stretch? What do you call a drive-through liquor store? Do you call it a brew-through, a party barn, a bootleger, a beer barn, a beverage barn? We have these in my area, but we have no special term for them. I have never heard of such a thing or other. I call it a great idea. I call it a million dollar idea. I mean, what could go wrong? We have them in Ohio. I answered that we have these in my area, which is a little bit like, what is my area? What my area used to be or now? But I said we have these in my area, but we have no special term for them. But I have not seen these since I left Ohio, I don't think. And we did not have them in Washington State when I was growing up. So there was no term for them. I don't have them. I don't have them. I never heard of such a thing as what I'd probably put down for you, right? Yes. In fact, I know there were a little bit different, but I was mildly shocked when I went to Louisiana for the first time where you can actually get a to go like a slurpee with

55:17booze in it. And I believe they put a little piece of tape over there. Oh, okay. Okay. That's the first. Yeah. So definitely nobody on a hot day in Louisiana ever like pokes the straw through there and has a little sip of that as they're heading home. How could you? Now, in the context that you saw that have you seen these things? It's funny that the barn is raised so much in these answers because they are like barns. At least the ones in the Midwest that I would see. And you know, most of my time in Ohio was before I was old enough to drink. So it wasn't really a huge part of my culture. But like you could literally, it was like a barn with an open door on one end and an open door on the other and you drive right through it and you just tell the person what you want and they put it in your trunk. You don't get out of the car. Oh, you see in the interesting. Oh, no, I haven't seen them. Yes. And they put it directly in your tree. You say, I want, you know, the 12 pack of corona and you got any, you got any gym or whatever. Okay, throw that in the trunk and then you pay them and you never get out of your car. It's like a car wash with booze. It's pretty cool. That's really interesting. And then they put it in your trunk, which particularly for the older models of cars would

56:18mean it was, you know, as opposed to a hatchback or something. It was, you couldn't get to it. Yeah. In the back of your car and you'll get it when you get home as opposed to like handing it to you or something like that. Yeah. So actually that doesn't sound, that doesn't sound, you know, wildly dangerous. Any more than carrying something out of the liquor store yourself and putting it in the trunk. But you didn't let me finish. They also have one of those celtzer bottles full of booze and they just fired in a face for five minutes before you're allowed to leave. So I'm looking at some of these Dackerie places in Louisiana. They're so funny. And are those drive-through as well? Are those more like a bikini barista stand around here though? Are you driving through? You got rabs, rabs liquor in Rustin, Louisiana. Actually, you know what though? You know, yeah, rabs drive through liquor. Cold beer, liquor, frozen drinks, wine. What could go wrong? But is that more of like a little window? It's a little window, kind of like you drive up to get a little barista, their little coffee barista stand around here. Did you see that those bikini baristas got a huge settlement in Seattle?

57:19Like $2,000. For one particular place, right? And I can't remember what they're playing with. I think they worked for one particular shady guy and maybe multiple locations. But I'm glad to hear that those people were, I mean, hopefully they'll be able to get the money from this person. It sounds like it was a very, very unprofessional environment and a bad scene. And I'm glad that there's some justice being brought to that. Good. I am glad to hear that too. Question number 15 of 25, do you call the sweet bread that is put on a, I'm sorry, I'm going to retake that. Do you call the sweet spread that is put on a cake frosting or icing? Here are the options, frosting, icing, frosting and icing refer to different things, both neither or other. I think I would call it frosting. Yeah, me too. I wish I called it icing, but I don't. I think seems a little formal. Like, you know, I think frosting is what I would, is what I would just naturally call it. Although I think the, like if this were an actual quiz, I think they are different things. I'll bet you people like confectioners who know the difference between, yes, I'm even

58:23thinking of some specific listeners who probably know the versus frosting. Okay, here's what the robot says. frosting is a thick, fluffy, fat based topping while icing is a thinner, sugar based liquid that dries into a glossy, hard finish. I would not have known the difference, but I do think I would be thinking of frosting and I would be calling it frosting. Yeah, I don't, I never really knew the difference and I just call it all frosting. So here we go. How do you pronounce now? This is going to be tough because it's just one word. I'll pronounce it a different, a couple of different ways for you. But what I would say, caramel or caramel? Do you say it with two syllables, caramel, with three syllables, caramel, or you use both pronunciations interchangeably or I use both pronunciations, but the two have different meanings. I think I do maybe something that's not on the list, which is like caramel. Okay, do I mean do other? Weird. I guess other because I wouldn't say caramel or caramel, that would feel very formal to

59:24me. I think it's, I sort of, I sort of smash it all together like caramel, caramel, caramel. Just to make sure that we're being very scientific about this, because it's weird that I'm giving this to you, so I'm saying the word. So I'm making some assumptions as well. The first option here is you pronounce it with two syllables and then in parentheses here are the letters as they spell out the pronouncer. C-A-R-M-L. C-A-R-M-L. Do you feel like that reflects how you say it or is it still normal? Yeah, I guess that's caramel. Yeah, I think I'm other because I think I say caramel either. I think I, I think I, I try to say caramel, but I'm too lazy and I say something that's kind of a combo of all of it like, oh, that has that like caramel topping. Yeah, because I guess the three syllables could also be interpreted as caramel, but anyway, it doesn't matter. I'm putting other there. How do you pronounce crayon or crane, crayon? It says with one syllable, so it rhymes with man, hey, I'm coloring with my crayon or two syllables. Like crayon, I'm coloring with my crayon.

1:00:26With two syllables where the second syllable rhymes with dawn, I'm coloring with my crayon or it sounds like crown, I'm coloring with my crown or other. I would say crayon probably like the first one, like a one syllable, rhymes with man. If I was, if I was thinking about I would try to say crayon, but that, that would take a lot of effort. I would probably be lazy and just say crayon and I definitely as a kid would be like crayon exactly. Now, what is the name of your favorite juice? Is it crayon grape crayon? This is just me curious about your diet. Question number 18, what do you call something that is across both streets from you at an intersection or diagonally across from you in general? Is it kitty corner? Kid a corner? Cater corner? Cady corner? Kitty cross? Kitty wampus? I would only use diagonal for this. I have no term for this or other. Kitty corner. Kitty corner. I chose kitty corner too because if I was being intellectually honest, that's going to

1:01:28what I grew up hearing. But really it's another for me. One of my favorite words that I didn't really, I don't think I ever heard it until I heard like somebody talking, I remember in the newsroom at case here at W, somebody referred to something as cat as kitty corner. And they don't have that, they have catty corner on here in kitty wampus. Oh no, I know. I love the word cady wampus. But cady wampus is an on here. So I don't know if that's a real thing, but I swear I heard somebody say that. I think cady wampus means messed up. I think what they kind of like a skewer, right? Yeah, a skew. I say cady wampus is my perception of what it is. That was understanding too. Okay, you'd say kitty corner. That's what I put as well. Oh, this is a really fun one and shouldn't get into my weird accent. What do you call a sale of unwanted items on your porch or in your yard? You know, I would weirdly call it a garage sale, even though it wouldn't be in a garage. Yep, yep. I grew up calling them that as well. I'll give everybody the options just so you know, because I think it's a fun one. You could call it a tag sale, a yard sale, a garage sale, a rummage sale.

1:02:31I like that one, by the way. Thrift sale, a stoop sale, a carport sale, a sidewalk sale, a jumble sale, car boot sale, or a patio sale. But I think you know, I've said sale so many times, it doesn't sound like anything to me, but you're going with now sale. And also rummage sale had a specific connotation in our family, which was a rummage sale would be indoors and it would be multiple people or an organization. So like the lakeside rummage sale would be at the Seattle center. And that would be the good stuff because there was those rich people that went to lakeside. And so we would always make a pilgrimage to the lakeside rummage sale when I was a kid. Yes, that is like a flea market that a little bit, except a flea market usually has a little bit more permanence to it, but a bunch of different vendors. By the way, we can talk more about this later. Oh, if it's worth talking about, but I'm very excited in a couple of Sundays. I'm taking the week off of my pop up volunteer gig because there's some like neighborhood wide garage sale. It's not broad view this time. And it's but it's in another, I think, quasi-tony part of town and Genevieve and I are going

1:03:35to spend the morning just because she's really into finding all of those little trends. So yeah, I don't see a ton of daylight for the singles and not all the dumps and stuff. It was a video game so on, full post. So it's taken three days to just build up those Little Reds when they, they owned it. So it's not that bad. And they're not their only available date in New York. those trying to be kind of messy huh. I always remember that Thursday night cardinals game or like everybody got even. Seems like we always have trouble with them, even though on paper we're supposed to be a better team. Exactly, I'll see. Well now I'll be yelling at my TV and that's gonna help them. This is question number 20. What do you call a traffic jam caused by drivers slowing down to look at an accident or other diversion on the side of the road? Now this is a little bit complicated I think. What do you call the traffic jam that is caused

1:04:36by the drivers? So rubber neck, rubber necking, or the third answer here is rubber necking is the activity slowing down and gawking that causes the traffic jam, but I have no word for the traffic jam itself. I guess it would be that one because I would call them, I grew up we'd call them rubber neckers, but that's the act. But that's the act of slowing down to look at the accident. Exactly. Some of the other options were gaper's block, gaper's delay, looky-loo, which is the same thing. I love the term looky-loo, but that's not what the backup is. That's the people who are causing the backup. Curiosity delay, a gawk block. I have, isn't that what Peter tealed it? I have no word for this or other. And so you're going with that third one. Rubber necking is the activity, but there's no word for the actual backup. Okay, cool. What do you call the insect that flies around in the summer and glows in the dark? A lightning bug. Yep, lightning bug.

1:05:36That's why I call them two other options or Firefly, or I use them interchangeably, or a Peony Wally, which I've never heard of before, and I don't think I should have. Yeah, it's a family show. Well, I mean, we didn't grow up with them, so I'm Firefly does also sound, I think I would say lightning bug. First time I saw those was in Philadelphia when I was a kid and my mind was exploded by that. They're the coolest things. Do you remember the other day I was telling you about my just absolute idyllic summer night growing up in the country outside of Cleveland and like the... On the glider. On the glider and the basement escaping the heat at night. A big part of that also was probably trying to catch lightning bugs in the evening once the sun went down. What do you call an easy high school or college class? Do you call it a gut, a crypt course, a crypt course, a bird, a blow off, meat, or other? I guess other. I don't think we had... I've never heard of this before. I don't think we had a term for that. And listen, I took those classes. I was looking for those classes when I was in college,

1:06:39but I don't think there was a, like a shorthand or a slang for them. Me neither, I'd never heard of that before. What do you call the thing from what you might drink water in a school, a bubbler, a water bubbler, a drinking fountain, a water fountain, or other? Water fountain. I couldn't... I think I struggled with this one going back and forth between drinking fountain and water fountain. I think I went with drinking fountain, but I think we'd call them water fountain. Yeah, I might have. Boy, man, one of the things that I saw in Valley City that blew me away was that water fountain up on the third floor that I hadn't changed. And it was old when I used to suck water from that thing. And now in 2026, and the little knob that you turned had not changed since I went to school there. How do you pronounce the first syllable of the person who practices law? That's how I'm going to put that. So I'm going to say a lawyer, that's how I say it, but it rhymes with boy, lawyer, or rhymes with flaw, like lawyer, or I use both pronunciations interchangeably.

1:07:41You're going with the second one, rhymes with... I say lawyer. I say lawyer. Oh, like a boy. Okay, rhymes with boy. First syllable, rhymes with boy. But it's funny because my cousin Kelle, speaking of Philadelphia, my cousin Kellyanne, who went to Notre Dame Law School and is the pride of the family. Irish Catholic family that she went to Notre Dame. And my aunt Kath would say, would say, oh yeah, she's a lawyer. So that's still right with boy, right? Lawyer. Maybe a lawyer. Yeah, lawyer. But I guess I don't hit it quite as hard. I would say like, oh my cousin's a lawyer. Yeah. I guess I'm saying it kind of the same. But yeah, but it's not lawyer. And I'm trying to figure out who says lawyer, but we'll find out here. I think this is the last question. What do you call a big road on what you drive relatively fast? A highway, a freeway, a parkway, a term pike, and an expressway, a throughway, and then it gets into some definitions, a freeway is bigger than a highway, or a freeway is free, doesn't charge tolls when a highway isn't, et cetera. Any of those, I'm not gonna go into this last one because I'm just a highway. Just highway, generally speaking. Yeah. I knew that highway is faster than a residential street,

1:08:44but not as fast as a freeway, not as big as a freeway. Oh, that's interesting. So you said a freeway is bigger than a highway? I think of a freeway as being like Interstate 5 as a freeway, and I think of like Aurora Avenue as being a highway. Then I think that's what you want. So one of the options is a freeway is bigger than a highway. So you're gonna go with that one, right? Yes. Okay, interesting. I think I just went with highway on there, although I love the term expressway. Okay, Luke Burbank. Yes. It says here, it actually no joke, it really is processing, but according to this map, it looks like you're from Mars and I'm from Venus. And that's what's kept this show on your cane for all these years. It's kind of a will they won't they? So this map gives you three possible areas that you're from and I'm gonna give them to you now. This is a wider distribution that I saw with mine or that because people have been sending me their results,

1:09:44yours is widespread. You're either from Stockton, California, Salt Lake City or Portland slash Vancouver, you know, Vancouver in Southern Washington, which I think of you as from getting me. No, I'm not. I think of you as hyper specific. Yes, to where you are in 2026. Because I mean, that's Vancouver, Washington is the closest large city to me. I will. I mean, it's from Vancouver, Washington. That's that's kind of wild, actually. Isn't it doesn't this blow your mind? I keep going, it blows your mind. Like it literally says Portland slash Vancouver and it's showing a dot right on the border of Washington and Oregon right now. That is really kind of amazing. Right. I would have thought maybe I'd get Seattle because I grew up there or like the West Coast or something. That is very, very specific as to where I am as we record this program. So just so you know, it says these maps show your most distinctive answer based on these cities and the thing that seems to have pinpointed you in the Portland, Vancouver area is what you call

1:10:44the small gray bug that crawls up in a ball when it's touched potato bug. They also call it that in Salt Lake City. It says and then it says the Stockton comes from Frontage Road and you said you were on a road trip for that one so that might kind of make sense. Yeah, although I was in, we were in Texas for that but interesting. So some of those words are kind of more indicative than others I guess. Yeah and that's my whole point with tree lawn. The tree lawn got tree lawn is what got my ass right there in Cleveland in Cleveland, Ohio. So anyway, pretty amazing though, right? Not just I am impressed. Is that more or less interesting than if it had just said Seattle? Way more interesting. Yeah, because I would just be like, yeah, okay. I mean, I guess they figured out some regional stuff and that's somehow it predicts Seattle but like the fact that it's following me to my current location is that's quite impressive. I am very, very impressed by this. I'm taking a screen cap of this so you don't think that I'm pranking you because you know I'm a pretty big prankster. Yeah, I know you love nothing more than a prank. Yeah, I love pranking.

1:11:45All right, now here's the deal Luke. You have a plane to catch. Is that where we do? Is this where we leave things for today? This is, well, I have a hotel room to catch potentially and then a plane to catch. Oh, that's right. Yes, I can remember where we are. I definitely, yeah. I'm gonna go ahead and ski toaddle. Well, what I'm gonna really do is pack up. I've got a pack for Florida and Vermont. Oh, perfect. So we're gonna bring like a mop. Just pack one turtle neck sweater. But sleeveless. Right. Exactly. Well, good luck with your travels. We will be checking in with you. The next time you and I talk on the show will be the Friday episode in which you will already have been in Florida at that point for a little while. I will. I will not have yet, I will yet to see lawnmowers in action, but I will be on the ground in Orlando, Florida, ready to report on things. So that's where I'll be when we next check in. In the meantime, thanks for listening, everybody. We'll back here tomorrow with more imaginary radios. So please do join us for that. In the meantime, have a great Thursday. Take Care Y'all's selves. Oh, there I did. I said y'all. Take Care Y'all's self and please remember no mountain to tall.

1:12:45And good luck to potato bugs. Good luck to y'all. Up. Power out.