0:00Episode 3933, teaching kids humility in a self-centered world. Moms, it's time to rediscover, rejuvenate, and renew who you are in mind, body, and spirit. Welcome to Create Your Now, Your Best Selfie, the show that help you do just that. Here's your host, Certified Life Coach, Personal Trainer, and Nutritionist, Christian Wargo. Happy, happy day, it's Friday. Yay! Let's do a happy dance. Oh, I'm so excited. Yes, I am. And guess what? My voice is coming back a little bit more. It's getting stronger. Maybe that's because when I'm not talking to you, I'm not talking. And my kids love it. Oh, will leave that one for another episode. Oh, no. Today, though, it's all about teaching kids humility in a self-centered world. For those of you who are a brand-new to Create Your Now, welcome to the Certified Life Coach. I'm so delighted of your presence. If you are out of it, have the opportunity. You'll want to head on over to CreateYourNow.com. But you can learn more and sign up for the Kids' Newsletter. To keep its simple strategy, everyday solutions to live, love, and impact,

1:00where this episode is brought to you by aim, inspiring connection, and community. Well, I will say my voice is coming back, but every once in a while, it does crack, and it's like a word is missing. I promise you just fill in the blanks with whatever word you want. Not the four-letter kind. No, the nice ones. Because it's about kindness and humility today. And I really want you to think about, you know, how do you show up for people? Not just for yourself. Because unfortunately, a lot of us are just showing up for ourselves. And we've got, you know, the spotlight, hey, look at me, even as a parent, we're doing that. And that can totally blow everything we want to do when we're raising our kids. Because as you know, we live in a culture obsessed with attention, status, and instant validation. Look at me, look at me, right? Social media magnifies this turning by, you know, turning these likes and hearts and followers into currency. They're paying our kids to sit here and, you know, get these hearts and likes, and they do some crazy things for it. Especially kids growing up right now.

2:02Have you seen some of the challenges out there? I would encourage you if you don't know what's going on out there, check it out. You need to know what your kiddos are seeing. So how do we as parents model humility when the noise around us screams, look at me, look at me, come on, look at me. Because it is all about teaching kids humility in a self-centered world. And when you think about this humility, what does it even look like inside the family? You know, humility is kind of one of those weird words. You're like, hmm, does it come from just the Bible? Uh-huh. Did you hear me say that? I just said that for a reason that way. Because then we kind of discount it somewhat. Not always, doesn't matter if you're a believer or not. But humility just sounds like, uh, and then we use the word pride and we're like, pride. Well, you've got to be, you know, proud of what you do. So there is some pride in it. But is it egotistical look at me where I want all the attention or is it, hey, yeah, like I do have gifts and talents. And I'm excited about it. But it's not about bragging about you.

3:04You're just being honest, right? So I want us to look at humility here. And understand that humility isn't about pretending to be less than you are. Okay, it's about owning your strengths without bragging. All right, saying, yeah, I know what I'm doing. I don't always do it right, but I know what I'm doing. Also owning your weaknesses without shame. We're going to fall short. There's nothing wrong with that. But owner, and what about valuing others as much as yourself? See that, I think, is a missing link. We value ourselves over others so easily. I mean, it's like bread and butter or water, like seriously, that's what we do. This mindset can feel like swimming up stream in a world that rewards self-promotion. But that's exactly why it's critical. We've got to look and understand where humility falls in. And what does it look like in the family structure? Well, parents admit when they're wrong or don't have all the answers.

4:05Do you do that? And this shows kids that vulnerability isn't weakness. Are you admitting when you're wrong? Are you saying, I honestly don't have all the answers? And don't tell them you're going to go talk to chat GPT. Okay, if they're older, you can kind of play with that. But be careful and cautious. Because let me tell you, chat GPT, Google, all of them, they can lie. I'm just saying, they can't. So watch out. And the information that they're fed, it may not be the right way that they need to be told that information, depending upon what they're seeking out. Right? So that's important. Also, everyone takes turns listening. No one dominates the conversation. Respecting others' voices comes before being heard. Is everybody fighting for attention in your household? Wait, wait, wait, wait, I've got something to say. I want, I got, I don't, wait, wait, wait. And it's everybody. It's just scrambling all the time. Do you got to take turns? No one in your family should dominate the conversation.

5:07In fact, honestly, as parents, we need to listen more than we talk. Now, there's that time where we need to be teaching, and we get to have the long dissertation. But most of the time, we need to know what they are thinking, where they are, their feelings, their emotions, what are they doing? When they want to talk, we need to listen. And also humility in the family's structure. What about gratitude? Gratitude becomes this daily practice, not an afterthought, saying thanks, even for the smallest things. And when you do that, it grounds kids in reality rather than entitlement. The smallest things, like literally picking up their shoes and putting it in their closet. You're like, it should happen all the time. I get it. I'm still teaching my kids to pick up their shoes. No, I'm not. We have a place for their shoes, even though they're all older. They know. But you see, before all that happened, I had to go over and over and over and over and over and over, times infinity and beyond, literally.

6:07It feels like it. I need to just had that replay button. If only I had a Spotify playlist that had, this is what Mama says, and just hit that playlist every single time I wouldn't had to repeat it myself. But Spotify wasn't a real big thing when I was raising my kiddos. Just saying. But are we teaching them gratitude? Are we showing it with our own actions? Are you saying thank you to your spouse, to their father? Are you being kind? If you're divorced, are you being kind? I know you may not want to. You still need to be kind. Right? We don't need to sit there and bash each other. There's a time and a place for that. Find a safe place, but your kids don't need to hear it. All right, we've got to be careful about what we say. The world, what's happening around the world. Depending upon the ages of your kids, and even if they may be in their teens into their 20-somethings, and maybe 30-somethings, you may not be wanting to have some conversations

7:08about what's happening right now in the Middle East. Because maybe they don't understand the depth of it. Because they are too focused on only what they want to see, what they know is right. And that's all it is. Why sit there and get yourself all tangled up and something that really doesn't matter right now? Except that we're praying for those who are involved. So think about it. What does humility look like? And then let's throw in social media and the viral chase. All right, I feel like we need to have sirens here. When your child asks why people care so much about likes or going viral, don't just lecture or ban the platforms. Don't tell you can't be on Instagram. You can't be on Facebook. Instead, have real conversations. Something like this. Getting likes feels good, doesn't it? But it's temporary, son. And it can't replace who you really are.

8:08Your worth isn't determined by a number on a screen. But you see, we grow up that way. And we've shifted from the number on a scale, the number on the hangar to the number now on the screen. Boy, when did we ever think that numbers would be so much more worthy than what's in our heart? Think about it. And maybe you can ask questions like, how does it feel when you post and don't get the response you hoped for? What do you think matters more being popular or being kind and true to yourself? Those are some really harder conversations to have. And these are great for older kids, but they're also great for younger kids why? Because younger kids watch what you do on your phone. And if you go and you're like, ding, ding, ding, ding. And they hear all these pings. They know what you're doing. They may not know exactly what's happening, but they're like, I want to hear more of that.

9:08I want to hear more of that. And the addictions are already there before they even have their own phone. This is real, true stuff. It's confession day. And because the pressure kids face, I mean from the peers, the influencers, and the world, it's no wonder they can't escape it. And the pressure's real. Don't ever deny your kids when they feel like they're under pressure because it's there. That's why parents need to embed humility as a non-negotiable early on. That is your kids to keep a simple strategy. Humility is a non-negotiable. You got to have it. And you must consider this in raising your kids and continuing the conversations years to come as they grow older. Because let me tell you, if Facebook and Instagram and all the other things are around YouTube, all of it, right? You go and if you've got a kid who wants to be an influencer on YouTube,

10:08I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that. I have nothing wrong. I have a whole digital ministry here. Right? And I'm grateful for it. But I am one who does not get hung up on the likes and the hearts and the dislikes. I don't get hung up in the stats. I show up every single day. Why? Because I know you are on the other side. But you see kids don't understand that. From little itty itty bitty babies to all the way up to 30-somethings and sometimes even in our 40-somethings. Because they get just, I mean, they get bamboozled. And they're like, but I have to have it. Talk about an addiction. It's for real. Maybe you've fallen in that a couple times yourself. What do you post on social media? You know me? I'm not there. I am there, but I'm not there. I have a love-hate relationship with it. But if I don't get responses, it's not a big deal. And usually the responses I get are things that really doesn't matter.

11:09And honestly with the algorithms, you don't know how much gets actually out there. And so unless if you've got people who are always coming to your pages and what you have, even your kids' pages, they're not going to get a whole lot of people seeing it. So if they only have 10 or 12 likes on something, you know, that's probably really good actually. Now I know people are like, but I want hundreds. I'm trying to be the influencer Christian. I know I get it. And also kids want the easy way out too. I'm just saying, let's just throw it out there. It's confession day. If I can earn money like this influencer does and he tells us, oh man, he's bringing home tens of thousands of dollars and he doesn't have to go to school. He didn't have to go to college. He doesn't have to clean his room. His mom comes in and brings him lunch and fixes him dinner and cleans his room, does his laundry. Well, that sounds fabulous, doesn't it?

12:09But how are they as a person? Because in reality, that's only going to last so long. And then guess what? Algorithm changes. And I could go into all the things as to, you know, that's not necessary. Yes, it's a job. I get it. It's a way to earn money. I should call it that way. And so depending upon where your kiddos are and what they want and their aspirations for life, they may be able to do that. But it may need to be more of a side hustle than their permanent career. It just depends. Because if that was to go away in YouTube or Facebook disappeared or Instagram which maybe in our minds it might be a really great way to be like, yes, you really do care. About this world. Because yes, we're connected, but we really are not. We're just connected to noise. We like pings. Stop.

13:09Think about how you can teach your kids humility. The real kind, the humble and kind. Number one, model humility, loud and clear. You've got to model it, model it. Don't just say the word, live it out. They're going to look at you and say, what mom? What's humility? It's not humility, it's humility. I have a lot of humility here, but it's humility. Right? And mistakes publicly in front of your kids. Apologize when you mess up. Show that no one is perfect. But everyone is worth respect. Kindness goes a long way. Model it. Because they're not going to get it if you just tell them. If you see their mom and daddy in action. And if you're a single parent and you're struggling and you're like, well, I'm doing it, but the other parent isn't. I get it. You've got to keep doing it. Don't change your consistency.

14:09And also don't bad talk to the other parent. Just do what you know is right. Because I'm telling you right now that consistency will pay off over time. And grandparents, auntie and uncles, extended family. You've got to do the same thing. Right? Model humility loud and clear. Be kind. And I know sometimes we don't want to be. So when you don't want to be, go to that safe place. Go to that one or two person that you have on your list that you can just like say anything and you know it doesn't go anywhere. And you're fine. You got it off your chest. And now go back to living life. Because we all need that. Right? We've got to have that. Saying you use that person as a punching bag, by the way. But you've got to have a safe space. But you don't want to model that kind of stuff in front of your kiddos. Because whatever they see, they're going to repeat. So be careful in that. Always model humility. Be kind.

15:09Number two, shift the focus from me to we. It sounds like we're married. But you know what, when your family, you are. You got to stick together. To create family rituals that encourage serving others, volunteering, helping neighbor. Or just listening to a sibling. Teach kids that their value increases when they contribute, not compete. We have enough competition in this world. I'm all for sports. You know that. I love it. But when it comes to family, drop the competition. It's not about being the golden child. Oh, I'm better than you are. The oh, whatever. No, no, and no. It's me becomes we. Stick together. Because let me tell you that will come back to haunt you. As the years go on, they will. I promise you it will. So make sure you're giving your kids the chance to say you know what? We can go and make a difference in the world.

16:11And we can be kind to others. You know that random act of kindness. It's a real thing. And you don't want to sit there and brag about it to everybody. But if you've got kids with you in the car and they don't understand what you did, teach them and say you know what? I thought it'd be a great idea that we buy them dinner today. Really mom? How did you do that? Well, I just told the gal that the people behind me I want to pay for their bill. And so I paid for their bill. What do you think about that? Oh, that's really cool mom. You should go tell them. No. It's better that when they drive up it's just a surprise. We know in our hearts that we did it. And that's all that matters. You see that is shifting the focus from me to we. And it's showing kindness and humility by saying you know what we already know. We're contributing. We're not competing. And then finally number three. Celebrate character over accomplishments. I get it, grades, trophies, they matter. It's fun isn't it.

17:13But I'm going to remind you right now not everybody's a winner. Right? The Super Bowl. Can everybody win the Super Bowl? Nope. So not everybody's a winner. Not everybody gets a trophy. Remember that. So that's why you've got to celebrate character over accomplishments. Because your child at some point and probably actually many points in their life will not win. They won't. And if you're sitting there being that parent that says, Oh, you deserve a trophy. You won anyway. No. No, it's called the hard knocks of life. Yes, you want them to do their best. Yes, you want to raise that ceiling. That's important. You don't want them to be mediocre. Right? Because wherever you set those expectations, they're not going any higher. That's just how they are. Kids are going to do bare minimum. And she has to raise that ceiling. But it's not all about that. You have to find the harmony within everything. So make it crystal clear. You're more impressed by kindness, honesty, and effort.

18:15You tried hard. You did your best. Reward humble behavior. Not just wins. You know, you've probably seen those reels that just bring me to tears when, again, it sports again. But it's one that you can really see when they're doing races on a track. And somebody falls down. And they go, and there's a person that was just ahead of them or right behind them, and they stop and help them. Only to know that they're not going to get first, second, third, fourth, or fifth place, depending on how many runners there are, right? But they didn't care because they wanted to help this person. That is the greatest win of all. That's what we need to celebrate. That's what we're missing in this world today. Find it. Mom, humility isn't a soft skill. It's a strong foundation for resilience, empathy, and real confidence. And as much as the world pushes kids to chase validation, saying, yeah, you got this,

19:15you have the power to root them in something deeper, something that will last a lifetime. Those trophies can be thrown away. Those certificates that say out your number one, they can be ruined by water, destroyed, whatever, right? But humility? No, it can't. It's connected to the heart. So start that work today. And you'll raise a generation who knows their worth isn't up for likes or hearts on the screen, right? But earned in quiet strength. If you want your kids to succeed in this noisy, self-driven world, then teach them to pause. Not for the applause, but to listen and to be kind and to lead with that humility. That's the living legacy that outlast any viral moment. Go in peace, be present, be incredible, be you. I love you so very much. I cannot wait to see you on the other side.

20:15Blessing tags and lots and lots of love. We'll talk to you real soon. Have a glorious blessed weekend. Bye-bye. Feeling inspired and ready to train for life and love your journey? Visit createyournow.com for more incredible resources to help you along the way. We'll see you next time on Create Your Now, Your Best Selfie. And remember, always be sure you consult your physician before beginning any health and fitness plan. Create Your Now, Your Best Selfie.