0:00Episode 3958, make your last word good. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Moms, it's time to rediscover, rejuvenate, and renew whom you are in mind, body, and spirit. Welcome to Create Your Now, Your Best Selfie, the show that help you do just that. Here's your host, Certified Life Coach, Personal Trainer, and Nutritionist, Christian Wargo. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Happy Happy Day, it's Friday! Yay! Are you ready to do a Happy Day at the command I know you are? Because it's the weekend, and I don't know. We've got more snow again. That's all I got to say. The Frozen Tender, here we are. But I'm grateful we have electricity. But today, I wanted to be about electricity and the privacy of your own for walls, called your family. Make your last word good. For those of you who are brand new to Create Your Now, welcome to this incredible family. I'm so delighted of your presence. If you already had the opportunity, you'll want to head on over to CreatureNow.com, where you can learn more and sign up for the Kisses newsletter. The Keep It Simple Strategy, Everyday Solutions, to Live,

1:00Love, and Impact. With this episode is brought to you by AIM, Inspiring Connection, and Community. Okay, real quick, I just want to jump out here, because we're about ready to hit February. Are you freaking out yet? Like, we've almost made it through the first full month of the new year. Okay, where do you feel like you failed? Let's look at it from a parenting perspective. Huh, I'm like, yeah, I know. You kind of go down the checklist. I could have done that better. I could have done this. Well, take a deep breath, because we're going to talk about some things. And maybe you'll look at your perspective and how you speak to your children a little bit differently. But before we dive in there, I just wanted to give you a reminder. As you know, we're over 4,000 episodes. Woo, woo, thanks to you. I'm here because of you. We are a family and we do live together. But in telling you that, some people don't know. You can just go to CreatureNow.com and absolutely positively every podcast I've ever done. So over 4,000 now are on the website. Now, I understand we are updating it. But the podcast is there live every single day.

2:02It goes there live. Our new podcast hits every morning at 2 a.m. Central Standard Time. So if you're listening from overseas, well, do the calculation and figure out when it's 2 a.m. Central Standard Time, that's when it goes out automatically. Now, sometimes there's glitches. I don't have control over all technology. And sometimes, well, I have glitches and I don't have control over that either. Sometimes life happens. And so every once in a while, it doesn't happen exactly at 2 a.m. but for the most part, it's there and ready. So go over there. If you're like, gosh, I don't know where to listen. And we've been feeding all of the podcast episodes gracious for a long time now on YouTube. And it's only the audio version. We are going to start doing a video. One, it'll be the same content. It'll just be some might prefer to look at me. I don't know why. I'm just saying. I'm not promising any beauty. I'm not promising the best of the best. I'm promising you me. Right? That's the thing.

3:02You're going to get the real raw Christian right here for you to help you create your now and walk every day God's way. And that's what we're doing here. And so I just wanted to throw in those reminders because I don't tell you that all the time and you may already know it. If you've been around for a long time, you're like, I got this Christian. Great. Thank you so much. Thanks for sharing. But sometimes you don't want to have to download all the stuff on your phone. And you just want to play it at your convenience. Or you want to have a playlist because you already have one on YouTube wherever it is. But of course, we're all over the place. So if you have your favorite podcast where you listen to your favorite podcast, I don't care if it's Apple or Spotify or Pandora, we're all over it everywhere. So search it up. You'll find it and just enjoy as all I can say. But I thought I would put a reminder out there about the website because sometimes we tend to forget that. And you know, we're followed enough the way it is. Maybe you want to get off some of those other areas and say, I just want to go to my own direct website and I just want to do my thing there. So that's what we're working on now with a new website.

4:04We're going to be able to have someone like a Facebook, but it won't be Facebook. Our community called Kyros. It'll be free, open up to everybody. And it'll be a great way to interact with me. And then we're going to open up AIM. AIM will get you a little bit closer to me. Where we'll have some trainings and Q and A's every month and bringing on people that really can speak into some areas that I guess you could call them experts, but aren't we all experts in life? We get to make those decisions and choices, but it's a great opportunity to hear different strategies and tools and say, okay, what can I do to make my life easier? What can I learn from this? Because honestly, I learn a lot of things in life. I don't use everything I learn because if I did, oh my goodness, that would be exhausting. But I take bits and pieces and I make my own puzzle. And I put it together for what works for me. And sometimes I need bits and pieces for a particular season. And other times I need bits and pieces for another season. So it's great to go back and reflect.

5:05It's great to learn. It's great to be stretched. And come on, we are creators, right? God created us to learn, constantly learn. And I think that's important, especially as parents. So let's dive in because it's confession of an upset mom a day. And yeah, you know what? I can get kind of a little bit rady on this one. As we know, parenting, right, is just this relentless hustle. We're always on the go. Sleepless nights, I don't care if your kids are home or not. They're grown or not. You're still gonna have sleepless nights. I mean, all mine are technically, you know, college. They're all, you know, adults now. But oh my goodness, gracious. I still have sleepless nights. And those sleepless nights blur in today's of heartache and frustration and moments when it feels like your efforts go unnoticed. In the chaos of discipline and schedules and tears, it's easy to lose sight of the fact that you are the constant in your child's world, regardless of their age, believe it or not. They're an anchor and they're a guide, especially mom.

6:09I'm just saying, mom's your special. Had you are too, but I'm talking to mom is right now. You're very, very special. You don't take it for granted. And the truth is, what you say last in any interaction leaves a lasting imprint. That's why it's crucial. Make your last word good. And what does that really mean? Make your last word good. I don't know how this struck me and why it struck me, but I was like, oh, this makes so much sense. It's truly about shifting focus from reaction to reflection. It means choosing the last message you want your child to take away, especially when things get tough, right? So think about if you're disciplining them and you're having this long conversation with them. Be careful about how long it is number one, because a lot of times they're goldfish too, right? They're scrollers just like you are. I don't care. They're age. They come out of the womb scrolling. It's kind of weird. It kind of freaks me out, honestly. I've watched it with my grandchildren. And sometimes they move faster than I do. I'm like, how can my two-year-old grandchild know how to move things faster than I can't

7:14unfair? It's not a good idea, but it is what it is, right? So you take a deep breath and you go, okay, where is my influence? What does it look like? When you have these conversations, your words are golden nuggets. And in some respect, they're platinum. Like you can't buy them, okay? They are so precious. Now your children at the time, maybe like, mom, can you just be quiet already? Like, I don't need to hear anymore. And that's why it's important to make your last word good. It's not about perfection or having all the answers. It's about planting seeds of understanding. Planting those seeds of respect and hope that can grow as your child matures. And remember, they all mature differently. You can have all girls, and each girl is going to mature at a different stage. You could have all boys, and every boy is going to be different in their manner, right? Because they are so unique. Which is just amazing. You know, I look at my five kids and I'm like, this is crazy, and now I've got the grandbaby. So I've got my sweet seven, and I'm like, oh, my goodness, how can it be?

8:20They are so different. I'm like, how did my mom make it through with just me? I mean, I probably was all over the place with her. But you know what? She still talks to me. So I couldn't have been that bad, just saying, but we'll leave that for one for another episode. But seriously, the power of perspective, right? What is it for you, mom? Because children grow, their understanding of rules and boundaries mature from simply obeying, because I said so, to grappling with why things are the way they are, right? Think about it. When they're little, it's like, because mama said so. You don't have a choice. You don't need to explain yourself. Because guess what? They're not going to understand. Quite obvious, but they don't understand that. So all we hear is the child from the child perspective is, because I said so, because I said so. And that's what we say, right? We stumble that in our rooms, it's kiddos, because I said so, yeah, that's what mommy always says, because I said so. Uh-huh. Yeah, we did that. Admit it. But then all of a sudden, we become more mature and we're like, why? And you want to ask more questions, like, why are you doing this?

9:21Like, why are you saying this? I want to understand. And they start to piece together context. They connect, cause, and affect, and they make sense of the bigger picture. That's cool, but it's also frightening too, because that means as a parent, you got to be on task, you've got to know what you want to say. And you thought, podcasting might be difficult, oh, no, no, no, you need to know your voice as a mama. It's important. But understand this doesn't happen by chance. You, as a parent, have to model the shift first. And so when you make your last word count, you're giving your child a moment to reflect, not just react. Think about that for a minute. Let that sit in. When you make your last word count, when you make it good, you're giving your child a moment to reflect, not just react. It's not just about being mad at mom, because she said so. It's not about that anymore. It's like, whoa, like, what does that even mean?

10:23Obviously, you have to make it age appropriate, right? You can't just say things and it's way over there ahead that they're like, because she said so, this is how it always is, right? Then they go into that, jargating, and another, that's what I'm saying. You're saying what makes it click for them at their age, and you're inviting them. And I love that. It's an invitation, right? For them to see the reason behind the rule, the care behind the discipline, and the love beyond the frustration. And we forget about that, even as parents. That's why I'm here to remind you, I'm here to nudge you. Make your last word good. And this is maturity in action, right? As adults, as parents, we've got to have maturity in action, just as much as we want our kiddos to mature, we've got to mature also. And it's what will stick right with them long after the daily struggles. It is kind of funny to think that we used to be those kids that said, um, let me just say that. She always says that.

11:23Why does she always say that? And we go in our room, mumbling that underneath our breath, and we may say a few other things whatever, but then we grow up a little bit more. We start reflecting, not just reacting. We start seeing things differently because of our experiences. We gain maturity in age itself, and then you add on that, the experiences, and you add on that, which you're learning and who you're surrounding yourself with. And then you think of all the other influences from social media to what they watch on TV and all of this and all of a sudden you're like, whoa, I want to be that influencer in their life. I want them to have the mama TikTok channel on all the time, right? That's where you want them to tune in is to your words. So make your last word good. That is your kiss to keep it simple strategy. And it's hard. I know making that last word good, it's like, that means I have to think exactly my point.

12:25You can't just sputter off things, you can't just sit here and be like, well, I think this would be better. That would be better. Maybe this would, no, it's got to make sense. And so sometimes that means you have to pause. Sometimes that means you actually have to put yourself in time out so you can gather your thoughts. So you understand what really matters. Because let me tell you, you're leaving a lasting impression. And that's what you've got to get here. Make your last word good. That last word that you leave with them is the lasting impression of whatever happened, good or bad, those circumstances, whatever it was. You could be celebrating something. That last word counts too. It's not just about disciplining and saying they've done something bad and you're telling them how to make it better, I'm not saying that. I'm talking about any time you're speaking to them. Let's have power, words change lives. And so as parents, we have got to start taking responsibility knowing that what we're saying,

13:30it's like we have our own podcast channel. You may not be spreading it to the world like I am, but you're spreading it to the world that counts, the world that you impact every single day. And that's in the privacy of your own four walls, it's your family. So your words count. So make your last word good. So what does that look like in real life? How can you really make your last word good? Number one, choose clarity over conflict. When tempers rise or patients wear thin, because it's going to happen, it's called life, your last word can easily turn into a sharp command or a harsh reprimand. Just go do it already. I told you that a hundred times, yep, we've all said that or something like it. And we have this tone in our voice that just bites. We don't have to do anything with our actions, but that tone is like, just go away right now. I've told you a thousand times, now go.

14:31What do you think that does to the child? We've all had it done to us, and we've all done it to our kids. I don't care how great of a parent you are, you're not perfect, you've done it. Be honest about it. It's confession day, right? You once said pause and give clear, calm explanations. Don't get yourself all worked up. For example, rather than letting a conversation end with, you never listen. Try, I love you, and I need us to work together on this. There's a big difference. Listen to it again. You never listen. I love you. I need us to work on this together. It's a simple shift, but it plants respect and connection instead of resentment. Now, some people will say, well, my kids need to learn the hard knocks of life. I mean, I had to do it, and I was growing up, okay, I get that. There is a time and place for that, okay? But there's also a time and place for calmness, for a way that makes sense.

15:38Because honestly, when you're calm, your kids are going to freak out going, my mom's not freaking out. She usually freaks out in these kind of moments, what's going to happen? Maybe I should, well, I don't know, maybe I really should listen. Sometimes our whispers are louder than our yells. Make your last word good. Choose clarity over conflict. Number two, anchor with encouragement. Kids hear a lot of correction, but they crave affirmation. Make your last word an uplifting one, even if you're setting a boundary. I know this is hard, but I believe in you. Or you're learning every day, and I'm proud of how hard you're trying. Both of those changes the tone. It's not about, well, what is it? You need to try harder. You should have known this already. I shouldn't have to tell you five times.

16:40Get it together already. Right? There's a difference, right? I know how hard this is, but I believe in you. I'm your biggest cheerleader, and you follow it up with a hug, or pat on the back, or kiss on the forehead, whatever it is, but it changes the tone. It tells your child they matter, and that you see their effort, not just their mistakes. Let me just kind of poke into here because I know we've got moms out there and dads too that are talking to their kids that are away at college, and they don't have them in the privacy of their own four walls all the time like they used to. Let me tell you this. You can send a voicemail message through the text, and that has great of an impact as if you're sitting right there next to them. So if they're kind of going through something and you need to be there for them, they need a voice of reason, or they need a voice of encouragement, instead of sending a text, send

17:41a voicemail mo to them. It's a simple recording, and if you have to practice it, you can delete it, and you don't have to send it, and you can re-record it. They're not going to know the difference. You just have to hit the X to wipe it out. But I just want to mention that to you because a lot of times we think about using all these tools and strategies on our places at work, or with our good friends, but we don't do them for our own kiddos. There's a problem with that. So even if your kids are not in the privacy of your own four walls, that's okay. They'll reach out to them. Still be those hearts of encouragement for them, even when they're not present with you all the time. You can still be present in their life, and I promise you they want you to be. They're not going to come knocking on your door and say, Mom, I wish it texts me more, because they're not going to. And in fact, you may send a text, and they don't respond back to you, do not take it personally.

18:43That's my AI robot. Do not take it personally. Why? Because they read it. I guarantee you, even if they took the little thing off that says they're not reading it or whatever, so you don't know if they read it, I guarantee you they read it. And even if they didn't respond, it did something to them. Don't ever hesitate to send a word of encouragement to your children, ever, ever. And then finally, number three, leave a thought to carry forward. Your last word should offer something your child can chew on long after the moment passes. Obviously, this has to be age-appropriate, right? If you're dealing with a two-year-old or five-year-old, like I am with my grandchildren, you can't sit there and just be like, oh, you know, I think, and you come up with this big, huge philosophical statement. They're going to look at you and be like, what grandma? Like, what do you say? Obviously, make it age-appropriate, okay? You can have great words just like, you know, Disney does with Olaf.

19:46And I mentioned that only because I'm in the frozen tendra. And Olaf was swimming in my pool. I didn't go after him, by the way, because, you know, that happened a year ago, falling in my pool. Yeah, we don't have ice in my pool, but we did have Olaf in the pool earlier yesterday. And so he was rescued, so he's fine. He's still frozen on the side. But seriously, you've got to leave a thought to carry forward. It might be a question to ponder. A reminder of shared values or a gentle nudge toward self-reflection. Go think about this a little bit more. How would you do things differently? All right, especially if they're older, you know, upper elementary and to middle and to high school. These are great times to say, what do you think you would do differently? And you can always open it up for conversation. Don't expect an answer right now. And in fact, you can let them know, you know, I'm not expecting an answer, but I just want to leave you with this thought. Could be a question or could be a statement. And let it go. Just let them know.

20:47So for instance, what can we do differently next time? How can you change things? Or remember kindness is strength. Okay, like so that's like the Olaf moment, you know, if you have little kiddos, three words. You can figure out, and I did use the word remember, but kindness is strength. You know, maybe they're fighting with someone at school and it's not a big deal. It's not like we're sitting here having a blood bath or anything, right? And they're not duking it out at school. I'm talking preschool here, you know, I'm talking toddlers and everything. But they understand kindness and they understand the word strength and you put it together, kindness is strength. They're going to remember that. And that's another phrase that you can carry on if they're having a tough week. You can say you know what, but I know it's sometimes hard growing up because it is, but kindness is strength. No matter what's happening, remember kindness is strength. That's sticky, right? That means it sticks to them.

21:49It sticks to you. Maybe you need to write that down for yourself. These seeds of wisdom encourage ongoing growth. It stretches their mind. It forces the neurons to fire differently. That's what we want to be able to do. You want to raise up kids that are going to go out and impact the world that they touch in a manner that God wants them to. So you're laying a foundation. You have to be protective of them, but you also have to raise them up so they can go out and impact the world that they touch. Doing this work day in and day out, I know it's not easy. And there might be days that you just kind of end up in a corner and you shed a few tears. That's okay. Welcome to the party. You're navigating emotions, demands and your own fatigue, right? We have those seasons of, oh my goodness, but remember, these tiny, intentional moments, they add up and you're investing in their love account, their connection account, right?

22:51You're drawing them closer. You're increasing their trust with you because you always want to have a door open. No matter what your kid comes to you with, you've always got to have that open door and love them unconditionally. And when you make your last word good, that's exactly what you're doing. You leave your child even when it's a tough exchange and you're like, man, you know, maybe it was a physical brawl, right, at school because it was high school. Let's go there for a minute. Let me say this, the last word you leave with your child and each tough exchange is like the final brushstroke on a painting. They'll remember the feeling more than the fight itself. The feelings we carry with us, those are kind of memories, right? And they do last a lifetime.

23:52And they come and go at different times, some fall off because we don't remember or other memories come in and they take over. But I'm here to remind you, keep showing up, mama. Keep adjusting your approach. Your efforts may feel invisible on some days, but they're shaping the adults, your children will become. Make your last word good. Make it count because I'm telling you right now your child will thank you in ways you can't even imagine yet and it may not be actually with the word thank you or thanks, but it will be with their actions as they go out and impact the world that they touch. Go on peace, be present, be incredible, be you. I love you so very much, I cannot wait to see you on the other side, blessing tags and lots and lots of love. We'll talk to you real soon, have a glorious, blessed weekend. Bye-bye. Feeling inspired and ready to train for life and love your journey, visit treeyournow.com for more incredible resources to help you along the way.

24:54We'll see you next time on Create Your Now, Your Best Selfie and remember, always be sure you consult your physician before beginning any health and fitness plan.