379. Jess Hu

0:00you're always busy since I last seen you. I'm just juggling so many projects. Yeah. When are you not? I just yeah you're right. When am I not? I would feel kind of abnormal if I'm not judging, judging, juggling projects. You know what's so cool is that the other day I parked at Kim's when I ran into you. You were how did that go that event? That's oh yeah. Park at Kim's are our go-to spot right right before we do other things. Yeah it was really good. It was my first time doing music Mondays at the Asian American Arts Alliance. They like take submissions every other month. It was my first time sharing music publicly in New York City with other musicians in New York and it was amazing. It was so cool to like hear other people's projects

1:04on such a nice sound system and like one of the artists had her music on like a press vinyl, someone brought a CD. One of the artists is like a conductor and like had a whole like eight piece like band like it was just phenomenal to see everyone's own interpretation of their world sonically and yeah I was I love super inspired. Makes me want to make like my next project was more live instrumentalist you know. Yeah. I remember you telling me that you also was writing like a not a speech per se but you had some words written down or some of the words that you wrote down for the crowd. I think I kept a pretty intimate and like more more conversational. I think because then when I I adjusted what I wrote once I saw the space was like literally like the listening space

2:05was somewhat like kind of like built as like a living room experience so I I'm more so just segue into it more like hey like I'm jazz. I just moved back to New York. This is you know three of these songs are like a summary of like my five years spent in music and music I made in LA and New York. Yeah and it just you know when they played each song it's one of those things like the song ends and then they clap and then you're like thank you like it's like it looks like so shy and then you know you talk more about each each one it got like deeper in context but it was nice like I felt like I was conversating versus like presenting. Yeah. I love all these listening parties that people have been putting on and then they put on their track but there's no live element it's just the song. It was just hunched over. You know everyone's just like this you know yeah

3:10the I love the nod yeah the Asian nod hands behind their back while chasing. Yeah. Tai Chi they're really they're really taking it in the end. The ancestors can hear it too resonating. I love how I love how Asians or just I guess maybe this is maybe this could be too but like we're so deep into our projects and then when we're so deep into it we just like it's so moving and we're like really focused in I don't know if anyone else can see what we see but or maybe we're just built a friend. Yeah I was gonna say I think it's millions of you know ancestral history stacked on top of one another that like subconsciously when we do something we care

4:13so much and we're super hardworking and we're like evolved Asians because now we're we have emotions or like we get to show emotions in such a evolved way now so like with hard work ethic and like emotional intelligence being shown in such a way that it hasn't I mean who knows I mean I will I will say like linguistically when I read like Chinese poetry it's been there like it's very deeply embedded in like how we speak the hand writing the calligraphy and now now we have more streaming platforms to show our story so yeah it's a very Asian time right now as they must say or Chinese time but honestly it's just like I hope you know regardless

5:18of it being a trend like I really hope that people like ourselves and like other emerging artists that are Asian really get to share their story you know during this time definitely I know that growing up for me it's like kind of taboo to show your feelings and now you know your feelings just they're on the table everything go off yeah therapy is not a normal thing back in the day but here we are and it's cool it's it's actually you know even for me I think I speak Chinese to my parents and like now I'm also trying to find the right words and vocabulary to express my emotions properly because maybe before I was a bit afraid to share how I truly feel but I think as we're getting older and we're we're realizing our parents are also living

6:20life for the first time that you know I try harder to grasp more words to share my world with them because we definitely live different worlds you know do you think when you get older um you'll tend to will you be more open or will you close up a bit I think it's interesting that you know genetics you turn it like there are some traces of your family lineage that you you become like you pick up some certain traits from them I'm seeing that with my parents but through my family tree I realize oh wow there are some legends and currently like doing some things that like I do and I'm like okay yeah I definitely want to be like this person in my family yeah I think as I'm getting older I you know obviously it's hard right sometimes

7:30we might get triggered and like oh they're not quite getting it um but I think as I am carving out more space for myself to understand like who I am I I do want to work towards being closer with my family and I will say like traveling every year to China uh near the end of the year has always been a very like rough time just because it's it's one of those things it's like I'm I didn't live in China for too long um I lived there for like three years when I was like a kid so I barely remember anything but to regain this connection as an adult to a country and a location that is a part of your lineage you're like wow like there's so much depth that I have yet to like truly understand my family or like like my parents or my grandparents and and the people before and so yeah like

8:37I might want to understand it through adding it more into my art like and like embodying this version as I discover more of who I am um Chinese and American um but also yeah then then I become more curious and I'm like asking my parents more about the history and like also how they were when they were young you know you know you go to China every year currently right now China's so hot right now a lot of my friends are going there for vacation just like hanging out I think that's really cool that China maxing as they say I I think it's cool that you've been going back every year and this like this history that you that your parents are sharing with you like it has it become like an adventure like they would take you to certain

9:39places and then they'll give you the background and then just like it's so hard we harder than I feel true yeah some of the most memorable moments are definitely like one distinct one is like my parents showed us where they went on their first date and it's this famous Chinese movie theater in Guangzhou and it's like it's all like probably like one of like the older movie theaters but they were so excited when they showed us like my sister and I like this is the place that like me and your mom would go on dates and stuff and we went on this like block and it's like oh like this is where I live and this is where your mom lives and like this is where we would eat monton noodle soup and like so it's really cute it's very sentimental and like I can almost like feel like like the modernization of like the the city streets like kind of like like rip away and then

10:42I can see them as kids and I'm just like this is so wholesome you know yeah what are the movies did they see I'm not sure if I'm gonna know any they didn't say specifically they're just more so talking about these are like places we went on we first started dating yeah that's so that's so sweet I can see them doing a little tour and I would definitely hop on the bandwagon I don't even know that's why I'd be like this is so cute yeah I do want to make a movie one day about them I'm moving to this thing like out of all the stuff I do I will say like my curiosity and my embarkman into film currently I think we'll lead to eventually writing a movie about my parents just you can't be stopped we don't have much time no just kidding oh I think now

11:49probably be like my most like out of anything I want to say that like yeah like I know film will take a long time I've I've even like mentally have prepared that I'm gonna start writing it this year but I think it'll probably take me three years to finish writing this group amazing well I'll see you in we'll circle back in three years five

12:59hey everyone this is where many hats present by desar and medsar with your host Rashad rastum you can find all their episodes and all platforms and that where many hats.com where many hats has made possible by listeners like you thank you just who is a multi disciplinary artist who cultivates feelings of exploration innovation and empowerment through movement sound and visuals just as competed in underground dance battles has created runways show soundtracks for New York Fashion Week and has dived into acting as well a feeling an EP by Jess who is how I first learned about Jess then fast forward to meeting Jess at park at kims creating conversation all day to learn about the pieces of works he's done for brands just directed the first movement piece to aftercare by Megan he just can't be stopped please welcome Jess who to where many hats wow thank you so much for having me no it's I think it's kind of magical to also

14:07lead up to this moment because I remember I think maybe during lockdown like coming out across your page and then being like oh this person's like very creative and then like hopping in a couple years down the line oh this person again does music and this music is wonderful and then like fast forward to now like I'm sitting down I look up and I'm like I've seen this person before I don't know this person but it feels like I know this person and so here we are so no thank you for thank you for being here and yeah you know what our conversation that day was so interesting because it just symbolizes you know the slow months of the year when it comes to us quote unquote creative working on certain projects but I don't know it's it seems like you know you're starting to pick up and yo congrats

15:11this new I don't even know is it a music video like what you know it feels really like press because like it literally just happened like maybe like two hours ago and now we're doing this interview is like how do you feel Jess oh yeah because Emma in keep like just story your beautiful piece and I'm sure that was recorded a lot like a while ago um yeah it definitely was like a long time waiting like like kind of to what you were saying about the the EP of feeling a feeling was inspired honestly by emotion heap and like I never thought embark on music um because I I went I moved to New York originally to pursue dance full time and once the pandemic hit I kind of like revert it back to music which was my first love anyways I played piano as a kid um and was

16:14genuinely obsessed with the music and like playing keys for hours on end um but yeah I love her music and she's always been a huge inspiration and I think she actually like repopped up into my life like two years ago now when she did a interview or maybe it was last year yeah last year she did interview with fk twigs and I was like crazy to see like fk twigs and emotion heap in the same room interviewing talking about their music and then at the end of the interview they they even like used like emotions like like hand audio like midi that she made to like do a freestyle uh echo of like just sounds and it was so beautiful and I remembered distinctly just being like captivated deumned her like like well basically I like

17:16posted a like a screen recording of the interview of her and fk twigs and I saw that she saw it because I tagged her and so then I was like ambitiously it was like let me just deum her and so yeah i deummed her thank you so much for being a huge inspiration it's like truly you're the reason why i make music and like yeah I basically was just like telling her how much of a impact she was and she responded and like she's it's still my literal like my phone like wow and she said thank you jazz definitely time to step up and share beautiful things vulnerability and connect with peaceful open minds and I felt like that was the mantra of last year for me because it happened in january of last year and so this and this is really crazy and might be crazy to say but like when she responded to me

18:17i didn't know what to say i just liked it and i was like i felt like it was like a necessary mission that i assigned myself to to respond with like something important or something to share with her because she's such an important person to me so yes i recorded that film like basically right before i moved from alay to new york and i shot it like in july of last year and then i saw that she released after care which is like a song like she hasn't released in quite some time so i was just like oh my god like i have to pay homage to my hero and so i you know worked with this amazing teen jinn is a phenomenal dancer that we've we've had a lot of like crossover and history as dancers and it was just a beautiful time where like now i'm stepping into more of like a movement direction directorial role and and she's just evolved so much as an

19:21artist herself a dancer that it was an amazing time to document this moment because she literally was in alay for like 72 hours and so you know running gun shot everything salt like bed three hours away from alay almost like basically clot loss only had one and a half hours to shoot we're chasing the sun shouting through the wind um yeah and you know spent basically a year half a year editing it and then yeah i yeah fast forward to january of this year i messaged her back and was like not knowing if she was going to like see it because it's been a year since we lost spoke i was like hey emotion like you know i was really surprised that you responded uh but i wanted to share with you uh like a piece that i made in honor of your song and you know and i sent her a link and was like

20:26let me know what you think like would be awesome if you know if we we collaborated or shared it together you know and she responded the same day and was like like thank you jazz like this is really beautiful you know and i was like thank you so much and then yeah like i didn't expect that you know you never know i i was just genuinely grateful for her acknowledgement and like her gracefulness and like and i posted it yesterday and and yeah she reshared it today and and she said something so sweet i was just like it took me forever to just like sum up something so concisely being like you're my inspiration your music means so much to me like i'm just so happy we cross like from your world and my world together like and sharing such a like

21:29important piece of my life too to be highlighted with her music because it was literally the last film i made before i moved out of LA very transitional symbolic visual you know it's kind of like a love letter to LA it's like thank you for this time i'm going back to New York um but yeah she's my hero i i feel very i feel very grateful you know like this is why i make music and dance and like because it's it's phenomenal who you can connect with through through sharing what you love you know um so i'm just yeah i'm honestly so in shock yeah um because yeah she's my hero and i'm i'm not gonna stop now i'm gonna be like making i'm gonna refine my craft even more i'm gonna be more curious like

22:32experiment more um yeah it's it's it's so cool like sometimes like i feel like i live two different lives because environmentally we can feel so restrained or limited with the context of our world and like the limitations but but then if you think about our and what we manifest and what we can materialize and create with like nothing sometimes it's actually so beautiful you know to know that like this is a power that we have um to like transform what is in our mind into real life you know and then share it with the world and then and then that energy becomes impactful for someone else so we're all kind of just collaborating in some senses you know um which is so cute and beautiful it is it is man there are certain things i

23:33want to touch on and the first thing is more so the two different lives thing i sometimes wonder when you like have so many different things that you are focused on and like you only have this one life how is the balance between these certain things but i also think that like there's this fine line of separate lives where i wonder if like there's these are like these separate lives but you can still have the same personality and you can still do everything within it and just like not lose sight of what you're doing um sometimes i wonder if that can be like how can you make it a lot smoother on yourself and then the thing is what's so interesting with us is that like we tried to reschedule this a bunch of times but the

24:37funny part is that like it's kind of interesting that i'm glad that it landed now because we're able to hear you express your you know your hero but like if we were to talk about this last week this would have never happened yeah and so what's interesting is that with you i think that they're like every multi second within the day i feel like something tweaks and changes and i'm like i can't keep up with Jess like Jess has Jess has to keep up with Jess and so i will only see Jess at parkicams but like also i wanted to throw my hat in the ring to like be like i wanted to see you and hear your music i just wish i didn't have anything to do that night but like i knew right there and then that was like this is something i can't cancel but at the same time this has happened to me a lot recently but like it's hard to be like oh man

25:44but there is this thing that i really want to go support Jess and hear her music but how do i go to my other life and take care of that there's a lot i think you know we as creatives we have a surplus in empathy and feelings and all all the things all the things molecularly just transpiring and like to your point about how like things can change in the millisecond and it's true you know and like timing is so beautiful and like and serendipitous and um you know i'm on the edge of my seat you know i think i've been saying that since last year when i decided to fully commit to doing my best to merge all the worlds into one

26:52you know and uh yeah but we always got to you know and i learned i'm learning this over a time we always got to take care of ourselves first you know and the best version of our self will only be beneficial for ourselves and for others you know and so i'm also learning to like not stretch myself thin or i feel inclined or obligated to like go out of my way to like extend myself and now and it's a habit you know because like i want to help people i want to support people and so like it wasn't until like maybe last year and into this year i was like right before the impulse of like going to like something for someone else i have to be like okay like i have to really check in with myself and see like how much energy have i carved out

27:55for myself first before i extend you know and i don't know sometimes it's really impressive i feel that artists can have a surplus amount of energy to make the art to be themselves and then and then contribute and support other people as well you know um and i'm sure with social media we we have you know back in the day i'm sure like just knowing ten people in the village was a lot you know and now we have like thousands of followers and like people looking at our stuff and then we have a 500 to a thousand plus friends on social media you know it's it's really overwhelming like i think we energetically have extended ourselves beyond what we even knew we were capable of

28:55capable of you know um so yeah don't worry you'll you'll have other opportunities to listen to music i actually am putting together a listening experience of my own for my first sound escape EP next month so i'll send you the invite for that you know great i'll definitely be there for sure i use my calendar a lot yes we love that i love seeing you change our our like you know interview multiple times but it's helpful it's genuinely helpful yeah it's it's kind of awesome to also you know me and you when we were working aside each other even though it was like really a hard to work because we're just always chatting um you also like you have this notebook you have like one side is like a journal

29:55and the other side is like a to-do list it's like a flip-flop type of notebook and i really admire that because when people see me right today everything i feel everything i do or it feels like such a analog like foreign thing for men we're not even that old but like younger people would just be like are you are you writing in your your diary i'm like uh men don't write in diaries uh no i'm just kidding but i was just we're so like no i'm just writing a to-do list or or when i or like writing my thoughts or goals and whatnot but it's such a foreign concept lately maybe writing sometimes reading um and so when i looked at you and you were doing your thing i was doing my thing just felt like at that moment um we're like the og's the nods

30:56we are og's but i think i think it is a like um you know how they say you know things have a ten-year cycle and things start to you know repeat itself people like us that been in the mix that have seen those things as not a trend we lived it it is that ten-year time because that insane like 2016 trend is also very evident of how people are grasping onto like these more tangible feelings of this rawness this edge that we lived you know and so in some ways i i noticed that like the younger generation and people in general are craving those kind of uh tangible experiences and like writing and like and and you know probably just

31:58going to places kind of like ourselves pocketcams being a part of a community again you know um which i'm excited um i think i think the noise is is weighing on everyone and now maybe i'm just being optimistic but i feel like the noise the the the trends the memes all the stuff yes it's very very temporary is very hyper stimulating but then the the purity of real art and like things that were made in a timeless way then cuts through and i feel like i'm noticing that because i was uh catching up with one of my friends that i just had won't social media and he was like actually i don't think i don't think i've ever seen anyone like just make a dance film to emotions like music or or maybe i just haven't seen it

33:01but i think to his point he was just more so saying like yeah like emotions music has been remakes like um you know fru fru music has become a trend you know it's gone viral again people have been sampling her stuff and it's a trend you know but um i think it's beautiful that now people actually crave reading a book like writing things by hand um you know printing photos um collecting magazines um being crafty again you know experimenting again and maybe you'll be like a one of those like moments a catalyst where we will see more artists being more interested in um yeah just doing things uh in real-time live yeah without going live without hitting that button

34:12yeah yeah yeah you know when does when does it just be like when do you live when you just be a human you know i want have to perform you know yeah i like that you said experiment i feel like everything that you do is an experiment that but is is in a way that it's not drafted and it's like it feels finalized it's not like you know when people save their photoshop files it's like a bunch of different drafts until it gets to the final yeah maybe it's the perception right of that people see when things go so live per se like how i crafted or curated my not live per se but like the things that i do it's towards the end of the project like it's not you know it's it's there's got to be a new turn for like later gram or something like that right it's like i'm not doing this in the moment

35:13anymore i i make sure that everything is just like done and then it goes out into the world um i think that people don't see how can't really understand still how the sausage is made and it's made with like you know this village or like this community that we have crafted before but i think it's kind of cool to see that like the two the separate worlds that you live in feels like it's formulated to a point where i don't know people can't understand that they're like how how does she do it like the even the music thing i'm like i've been trying to put out a record forever and i think music is i still tell people like music is like the hardest thing i don't know how people do it but you for you i think it's kind of interesting that like the worlds that you you're in when i first met you know you're like oh yeah no music is the forefront

36:19but i'm like oh it is because i could just wonder what is something else yeah well who really knows i feel like i feel like it's like street fighter where you have all these characters and like when you're fighting and you need a bring in the other person you know how you switch i feel like that's me sometimes you're oh my god with your haircut i was just like oh my god street fighter let's go oh it's like okay sometimes i'd be in dance mode you know and i'm like oh switch out music mode and then i'm like switch out strategy i guess and it's like it's insane it's just like it's like sometimes i can't tell if it's like out of sheer survival that i've like figured out a way to monetize like all my are just to just to be able to contribute back to more art you know um but but i will say like

37:22us meeting at this time i am putting music at the forefront because i've put it on the back burner for so long and i've had such insane imposter syndrome because i just never even thought i would enter music and and i agree with you 100 percent i feel like music is super vulnerable and it's so difficult to to be like it's done you know like i think with any piece of art it's like when is it truly final like you can tinker with it for the rest of your life you know and and i think i had to ultimately pivot mentally and like think of um my art in a seasonal way and i think i was talking to one of my friends and he was like it's kind of like informing how like different vegetables and fruits have different seasons and you're

38:22tending to your garden and you're looking at all these things like dance music performance arts and whatnot and be like okay looks like music is like in season it's blooming right now and let me tend to this part of the garden right now and i think that's where i'm at and then after the music is released then i you know kind of like maybe not stress myself about having to make more music right now and then tend to dance and film and narrative and stuff like that um but it took me a while i will say it maybe was these literally this year this last year into this year that i've i've come to this realization of like balancing all these things and not feeling like i have to execute everything all at once you know even though sometimes i do because it feels normal i feel super abnormal if i don't make art you know it's all it feels me it's like it's the way

39:28i i live it's the way i breathe if i if i don't make any art i feel kind of like like a potato like i'm just like existing but i'm also embracing the whole like form of boredom because like i think i think people are also now very fascinated by like boredom and like i would watch instagram videos of people timelapse and them sitting by themselves for three hours just sitting because they would just want to know what it's like to just be be you know and it's interesting it's yeah like when when that we become so so occupied you know this is so interesting i don't even know how to spin this but you know when so when you said abnormal i was like thinking like you know just who has like a certain personality that like i wonder like you said if when you don't do

40:34art you feel abnormal like do you feel like an alien you know like i feel like when i see you know the the transition of fka a twigs from when she first put out her art to now and i'm just like wow this is a completely different human is this like who is this person so like so even with you i'm just more like the different time options of your life i'm wondering like it does just feel like she's not from this planet yeah i think so i feel like sometimes when i encounter people that really like you know even like yourself or like just people i meet and i get to have really emotionally deep conversations that really like cut through i feel like i'm myself if that makes sense like the people i'm around environment i'm around matters to me where i get to like

41:41genuinely be who i am i think um if i'm not like activated in a in a way where i i feel inclined to like show my whole avatar i guess i will be very just neutral you know and i won't take up any space maybe i'm just there you know but it's it could it could be more of a protective mechanism over time who knows or maybe it's just like me being very much like i feel like sometimes i'm like gray like i like like i'm a part of the environment and it's gray but then when i meet someone and then we bring color into each other's life then we become these two colorful people in this gray world that's how i see it sometimes you know when people like strike my curiosity and i get inspired then i feel like we're colorful beings you know but usually i'm just kind of like

42:44preserving energy you know as much as i can um but yeah like fk twix such a phenomenal artist i actually auditioned to be on her tour as a dancer like 10 years ago and to be in her presence was it just was like well like she's she's so beautiful person just in every way you know very soft spoken very delicate but i think i i'm always very blown away by people like her and like imagine he'd been like okay Lou or like just artist i really admire because i'm like wow they've really gone to the point where they stepped into their true self you know and not that i haven't

43:44i think i'm still evolving you know i feel like i'm still like maybe who knows you know sometimes i surprise myself because there be moments where i'm like oh this is great this is like a a moment i i've been wanting right and then and then we're like oh we want to challenge ourselves even more and so this is the first time i've even journaled about random things like like you know like the Grammys and like the award shows are all circulating and happening and i'm like i never thought about winning a Grammy or Oscar or even Nobel Peace Prize but i'm like what would it be like though you know now i'm like questioning those things out of curiosity you know um and and to do that like i feel like before would feel very like like who do you think you are you know but now i'm like you know i'm sure i'm sure that kind of

44:49question is the is the feeling i do want to part away from you know because i think we're so easy to undermine ourselves undercut ourselves be overly critical and you know i'm sure yeah pressure makes gems and diamonds but there's a fine line to like self sabotage and um tough love i don't know so now for me i'm just like i haven't fully stepped into my true self i think i'm learning i'm learning right now and building that foundation to then step onto that platform and each day as i release something i feel more and more of an understanding of like it is okay to take up space it is okay to be this person it is okay to be weird um it would be abnormal not to be weird i think i think it's just you have to really bet on yourself

45:57you know and i think as agents we're so humble sometimes you know um um one of my best friends is like i would i would pay to see you yell to like evoke some kind of anger because like i'm just so normal or not normal neutral sometimes you are um but maybe my form of like outburst is really like claiming who i am and like the outburst comes in like like more art more like more like loudness in my art but not so much like yelling like literally you know yeah um i could see you laugh while you yell yeah i do i do like i it's it's just because it's comical like i can't it be that way um but yeah everyone deals with anger or emotions very

46:58differently you know i'm glad that i can live life and be like i can make art out of this well um you grew up in the pacific north west right yes and then do you moved to new york after and then li what's like okay like let's let's bring them up in here yes the map if you i won't know if you do these like do i do this and then you throw the map in here let's just remember shaw come on the graphic design okay so the map is here i was born in jersey actually wait what jersey well like we're random more random random lord born in jersey elanic city parents worked at the casino um you know you know immigrated from china um so sick and then you know three years later moved to China you know my dad my mom my sister

48:08and i will move back to china my dad was you know trying to work on a business out there my sister and i got really sick um not adjusting to the pollution all the stuff right because we're kids um move back to the united states lived in san francisco uh if you're a little like one year um then lived in organ salem organ sick and then went to college in Seattle uh graduated stayed for like four more years and then moved to new york after i graduated lived in new york for six years fours i don't know anymore yeah and then moved to la in 2021 lived there for four years and now i'm back in new york that's wild yeah i don't

49:13i mean i was just more so like holy crap you've lived in so many different places it's pretty remarkable um i love that you tried out so many different things and now it's interesting and really cool to hear that like you're finally now knowing like who you are yeah i think oh no sometimes we we move so fast sometimes we move so fast we don't even know what we're doing you know and i think for me that was that was like maybe a masculine trait or overly masculine trait where it's like i was so like in need of like fixing things and i really wanted to know the answer and i felt like i need to just take action as quick as possible um maybe a bit of anxiety you know in the mix and and then it wasn't until i lived in la i was around like

50:13my my really close best friends where i like really recenter myself and really like reclaimed my feminine energy and like learned about how powerful it is to be in your feminine energy that i was like wow like actually moving slower moving slower from the actual pace of how the city operates is advantageous to you you know and i think like that's my new superpower that i've gained living in la moving back to new york is that i see things in slow motion now whereas before i was moving at the speed of light moving as quick as the trains moving as quick as the people heading to different places but now when i look at people i'm seeing them move like in slow motion like like grabbing their kid like rushing them to school like like this guy is just

51:14like throwing his like bag over his shoulder like going to work and i'm like wow like everyone has like you know they have so much weight they have so much they're analyzing things like i feel it i notice it more before i was like just like them just like locked in so like i didn't notice it you know and now i'm just like wow like it is actually really beneficial to live in so many places because i have so much more perspective now and i'm very much open and receptive to like different aspects of life you know so yeah i'm not i'm not in any one way maybe like i had quite a bit of an ego death you know like you know you have to have ego as an artist but if the ego is a form of belief that limits you it really doesn't serve you or other people and you can notice

52:22yourself getting phased out yeah or you're phasing other people out but it is true like you really just i think there's so much beauty in life where we forget because we take it for granted i really do so i think it's just it is beautiful to to know yeah the highs and lows and and live in all these different places meet different people you know it's it is now confirmed in my mind after you have told me your superpower and the slow motion of what you see that you are a sci-fi character i when i scroll through your peer page i'm like wow this is it's like a film-cade dick like like montage that i can i i'm like obsessed with like i love to see all these images and like this is the world that she's created for for Jess and so i think it's

53:27i haven't reached that point yet but i would love to see like the world completely in a way where like it is different um because i lately i've been wondering about those things about like certain people how they see the world you know and how they hear certain things and like okay i don't always want to blame it on mental illness you know i don't always want to blame it like did jet what ayahuasca did just take in California so it's more so like i want to know you know like these different things that humans can react to and see the world and it's confirmed that you do see it quite differently than i do well you see it differently too you know i got of i got to commend you for making a platform to like uplift people that are multifaceted you know i've always been pretty insecure about like feeling like i couldn't decide on one thing so i'm just

54:31doing a bunch of things you know and you know it could it could be a bit paralyzing at times in in society where people try to define your box you in but you're over here celebrating people that um you know have branched out to multiple avenues you know so i feel like you are doing it you're you're welcoming us into your world you know and like we get to hear about everybody else's like interesting ways of how they arrive to being a multifaceted creative so you know shout it's to you that's so sweet yeah that sounded like how cults begin but that's amazing i'm like are you gathering all of us to create something here that's so sweet though i really appreciate it i don't usually think of it like that like i never thought of you know how you know when certain things that you've been doing for such a long time you

55:39never really define it as what it is and then when society brings it to as like a trend so the word i'm usually using or like i'm using as an example would be community and that word has been in the past like a couple of years like a little bit tainted in a way but like when people see that you are genuinely doing something that does i don't know maybe uplifts or just commends other people but i don't really it's always the second part it's always like the second nature it's always like until i actually realize maybe it's like a form of i'm not i don't want to blame everything on imposter syndrome you know maybe there has to be like a string like lying down to like there's this new thing right i don't also want to say that everyone has ADHD because of their phones you know i think that there's just like this we're entering this like new phase where it's like

56:44yeah it is okay to genuinely like try a bunch of different things i mean maybe it's a society maybe outside and you know you have to combat it you want you want to feel happy again you don't want to stay stagnant forever or regret yeah i feel like it's a concoction of what we are around you know and our modern day society technology access has given us the ability to grow curious about how do we exist in all these different pillars of our and i think of it as like um doctor strange and like like uh the different timelines and branches and sometimes i wonder if i could live out as many timelines as i can in one year in one year in one lifetime i was gonna say

57:50crazy it's like oh q montage of just being like a doctor a lawyer yeah an inventor like all those things um but but yeah it is it is an interesting time you know like we're in a modern day renaissance but then also feels medieval at the same time you know um yeah so it's cool like i feel like you're documenting a very significant time right now through your podcast well thank you um hats off to you and everything that you do for some just are where many had solutions just you think that there is this world maybe you're currently living in it right now where everything that you do combined together is happening like right now like you're

58:51maybe there is this point that you'll get to um maybe you can't like direct and sing at the same time you know how there's like there's films where there's like there's people that like directed by produce written the whole thing but like what do you see that whole thing being i think i think we have opportunities to like star in our own work in so many ways i think the first time i experienced that was that when i made the music for private policies near fashion week show i did the sound design with my producer Larry and then i had the opportunity to walk in the show and so i was like walking to my own music and that was crazy and then the following year i made the music again but then they asked me to choreograph

59:52the piece in the middle of the outfit change and and so it's like cool to see like yourself exist in one one time in the multitude of ways and um yeah i mean similar to performing right like i think the first time i ever felt like i've created a space where it's like this is a space i created people are here i'm performing my music live i'm dancing live and then i'm also showcasing a music video projected that i worked on and i was just like crazy it just like felt like i was uh i was in this mini world that i like invited people to come into you know um so it's it's so cool to me like when people become so aware of how how they are as an artist that they create these worlds sonically um uh sensory-wise like i don't know i'm trying to figure out the the word for it

1:00:59and i almost like got to a point where i called myself like an architect of some sort but then i was then i was like okay but then i play with different senses so then i was like maybe i'm like a multi-sensory architect who knows like me just trying to coin coin words and all make it make sense you know um but to your question i think i'm still understanding what that looks like i'm genuinely just so grateful when people give me the opportunity to like be like hey like what are your thoughts like on this like how about you create a direct this dance thing or how about you make the music for this or how about you act in this film how about you do this and i'm just like you know it almost feels like sometimes i feel like a spy you know and like like and life is like giving me a mission and be like all right now you're gonna be a

1:02:02action hero and i'm like yay i gotta take some comeback training now um but i will say i've always been very quick to adapt and maybe that's another superpower is like this like chameleon effect um and it's like a double-edged sword because like i could absorb too much sometimes like of people's feelings or something or the environment so i'm trying to learn to like be a chameleon in a different way different ways um but yeah just doing combat training that sounds so sick i can see it now but it is so fascinating to hear this only because the fact that usually when people it's so it's you know i'm not gonna try to spin this in a different direction with agency brain but like it's so funny that you yourself is your own uh i don't want to say brand but like that's the thing it's like you could be starting like other projects but it's all

1:03:07within you and that's why people tap you in to do these certain things and i think it's really fascinating because you you've taken the personal side to a more uh like people want you you know like it's more so like i see it more as like even if we don't have anything for you we want you in it regardless of what you like there is there is always gonna be space for just that's what i think that it's like with the normal that's so cute i think it's just like well that's like how i see it because it's like i i think that when i i don't know where to put Jess in like i'm not and like i just know that like Jess can totally do this like we would want her on the roster like we would want her on like the credits because like she brings something to the table that like other

1:04:08people can't see and so it's like it makes sense for her to be there so it's like it's really good to hear your story and i think it's uh pretty admirable so yeah keep it going thank you that means a lot i really sometimes feel like i'm still figuring it out you know and like it does mean a lot to be able to like have these conversations and be interviewed and share my perspective and reflect because sometimes it's my first time hearing myself talk about it you know right um so yeah it's always it's always good to kind of reflect and um really embrace those small wins big wins or even the process and yeah i have i have really nothing to hide like i i feel like if anything anytime i post something i feel like i'm throwing my phone away because i'm so

1:05:09like i'm freaking out you know like it still feels like the first time sometimes when i put out art because i'm i'm constantly like challenging myself little by little and so when i post something i i get shocked i'm like oh my god i can't believe i just did that to myself but i feel like it's a disservice if i overanalyze over critique and don't give myself the space to share something because then yeah you never know it's it's not even about you sometimes like the art then becomes of service to other people so i have to think of it in that sense where like your song or like the show that you play in or whatever like the the encounter of life will then bring those people into that space because they need to see it or hear it and it becomes impactful to them so we have no control of that or who sees it so it's like you really never know

1:06:15how things transpire you know i get really shocked like sometimes things take the day to materialize sometimes it takes 10 years sometimes it takes 20 i really have no clue yeah time time last , live Jess where is a place you like to go to hang your hat it could be anywhere in the world it's a place where you like to go to get ideas or maybe after you finish a project a place you like to go to just chill you know i have a really specific spot this is a good question When I first moved to New York, I gravitated towards Chelsea area where the, is it the high line? Like the bridge. Because I think that was my first time like walking that bridge from like the Whitney

1:07:18side all the way to, I don't know where the shed is like what area that is, but I would take that walk. And then over time, I've coined it my manifestation walk because I'm above the city enough. And I'm seeing like the skyline and like the sunset and the water and people walking below me, beside me. And I'm cutting through from Chelsea all the way north. And then I arrive to like the shed, which is like another space that like I've, I want to like exhibit something one day, you know. And yeah, and I go there to kind of be like, wow, like I'm in this beautiful city that people dream about living their dream in New York or it's a dream to live in New York. And I'm like, have to like remind myself like I am living my dream, regardless of like the, the trying times of like maybe not getting the job that you want or getting rejected

1:08:21or whatever, I have to remind myself like I'm physically walking this bridge, looking at this beautiful view, admiring the fact that I could be here right now, you know. So that is a, that is a spot that I go to. And like I remember specifically, there would be a time where I would stare into the window of like Jack Studios or Milk Studios. And would be like, oh, I would love to like work there one day. And then I booked one like my biggest campaigns and it was shot there or it was like I had a casting or fitting there. And I'm like, wow, like you never know, you could be like looking at something for ages and then it becomes something later on, you know. But yeah, I would say, yeah, the Chelsea area, the cobblestone is cool. Like it just like, I like the, the old New York style, you know, that, that area is, is

1:09:23very beautiful to me. Yeah. Well, that, if you were to get a chest tattoo, quote, what would it be? A chest tattoo? Quote. Like, no regrets. No, just kidding. Um, classic, just tattoo, damn, I have no clue. Uh, maybe you know what, it wouldn't even be a word. I would get like a hummingbird. I feel like that's like my spirit animal. Oh, really? So, okay, okay, so I guess the hummingbird were disabled. I have no words, no words, no, no, no, it's just a bird. That's sweet, yeah, actually, that sums it up perfectly for you, actually. Just plug your socials or anything that you want to put out into the world, where can

1:10:23people find you? Um, yes, you can find me on Instagram. My handle is, I'm just who, so I am and then just last name spelled H-U, uh, yeah, music on all platforms, uh, soundscape EP coming out next month, uh, yeah, thank you for this time. Thank you. Yeah, thank you so much, just for coming out where many hats it was great to have you. Till next time, this is where many hats presented by Desar and I'm Rashad. Peace. Woohoo! Cute music! Woohoo! Woohoo! Cute music!

1:11:29Woohoo! Woohoo! Woohoo!