3 Steps to Managing Your Emotions

Are you managing your emotions, or are they managing you?

In this episode of Office Hours, I explore how to manage your emotions by understanding how they work and what they are trying to tell you. Emotions like fear, anger, joy, and disgust evolved to protect and guide us, yet in the modern world, they often become misaligned, leading us to overreact or lose perspective. The goal is not to eliminate emotions entirely, but to understand that they work for you, not the other way around.

To learn more about how you, specifically, experience positive and negative emotions, take the Positive and Negative Affect Schedule (PANAS) quiz here. 

In this episode, I cover:

• How to get out of your reptilian brain and engage your reasoning mind

• Why avoiding negative emotions can actually make you less happy

• The evolutionary advantage of rejection and how it protects you

• How politicians exploit the disgust reflex to divide people

• The “count to 30” rule for interrupting emotional impulses

• Three metacognitive techniques for managing emotions in everyday life

• A journaling exercise for reducing anxiety and building perspective

• A Q&A on faith, teaching happiness, and choosing fulfilling work

We’d love to hear any feedback you have. Please email us at [email protected]. And please leave a review on Apple or Spotify. Thanks for listening!

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Timestamps:

(00:00) Intro

(04:47) Feelings vs. emotions and a review of what happiness is 

(10:10) How Triune Brain Theory explains emotion and what makes humans unique 

(17:17) Why both positive and negative emotions are essential to our well-being

(18:40) The purpose and function of our primary negative emotions

(28:54) Understanding the primary positive emotions that drive joy and growth

(32:51) How to manage your emotions using metacognition techniques 

(36:35) Three ways to get better at metacognition, starting with Technique #1: Knowledge

(41:00) Technique #2: Contemplation 

(43:14) Technique #3: Documentation 

(50:15) Q&A #1: Is happiness or contentment possible through faith alone?

(52:50) Q&A #2: How to teach happiness without sounding preachy

(54:22) Q&A #3: How to choose a job that truly supports long-term happiness

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Referenced:

• Leadership and Happiness course: https://www.hbs.edu/coursecatalog/1885.html

• How to Build a Life: https://www.theatlantic.com/projects/how-build-life/

• The Happiness Files: Insights on Work and Life: https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Files-Insights-Arthur-Brooks/dp/B0F4MFQ6VN

• PANAS quiz for gauging your level of emotionality: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/quiz/panas

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