28 March 2022 | Part 3 | Pride | without pauses😌

We've been talking about families, and I would like to ask you a few more questions about this topic. What can a child do to make their parents proud?

I think it depends on the values the family has tried to instil in the child. If the parents have tried to teach the child to be polite, and the child succeeds, the parents will be proud. Likewise, if the parents have emphasised sports or academics and the child excels in one of these, this will please the parents.

Is it a good thing to reward children?

Apparently, psychologists say that rewards are far more effective in reinforcing behavior than punishment…so in that sense, I suppose rewards are a good thing. I would imagine though that the reward has to be appropriate for the accomplishment. You wouldn't give a child a Porsche for saying please and thank you.

Is it good to be rewarded all the time?

No, and this is related to what I just said about appropriate rewards. The rewards must be both well-timed and in line with what the deed or behaviour was. Otherwise, the rewards lose their power and the child becomes rather entitled. For example, if a child has been told they will get a gift if they brings home good grades, the parents can determine an age-appropriate gift and give it shortly thereafter. It wouldn't be so effective if the gift came five months later or was something small relative to the effort the child put in. The reward has to help motivate the child I think. At the same time, it's not a good idea to give a child a reward for every little thing he or she does.

What makes adults feel proud of themselves?

I think adults feel proud when they accomplish a difficult goal or something that seemed insurmountable until they did it. I imagine it is the same for children too. No one feels proud for something that comes easy to them or is a given. It has to be something that required some sort of effort or sacrifice for the result to warrant a feeling of pride.

Is this different now compared to the past?

Well, I don't believe human nature has changed too much, despite what we may think…so, no, I don't believe there is any difference. The only thing that might be different compared to the past is opportunities to feel proud. I think the previous generations had to worry about basic survival, so a moment of pride must have seemed like a luxury.

Can one feel proud because of their job?

I think for adults, after their children, work is where most people feel some sort of pride. No matter what job you do there is always something to be accomplished or some challenge to be overcome despite all difficulties. These will provide us with moments of feeling proud.

Can someone with a job in sanitation, such as a cleaner, take pride in their work?

Certainly. Why should a cleaner be any different? Do they not face challenges or problems? Maybe a cleaner does not broker a million-dollar deal, but they might clean something other people thought was ruined forever. They may place a wager with themselves to do more, and to do it better and faster. When these goals are accomplished, of course they too will feel pride, and rightfully so, in my opinion.