2726: More Experiences, More Devotee's Devotional Hope Increases | Vilapa Kusumanjali 58 | Croatia

0:00In the beginning, for the pleasure of Radha Mohan and Guru Dev and the Vaishnavas, our beloved and dear Radha Kripa Kataksha will read one of his poems and you can see on the Radha Dasya he sent translations so that devotees can follow the poem or later they can read again and relish so thank you very much Radha Radha Kripa Kataksha please. Okay Radha Radha greetings to everybody so this is our newest song ever quietly present. Oh my Radha my mind is a treasury of

1:12sweet encounters between you and Mohan. Oh tenderness when you arrive my heart at once becomes a fragment garden where pion is burst into bloom and then I intoxicate them with the scent of your hair. Oh beautiful speech when you depart it turns into a burning desert that cries out for rain for words of love you whisper to Govinda you walk paths beyond which knowledge and merit wander hopelessly paths dump with the tears of those who wept for you before us those were longing cried out loudly enough to drive away of fear and to call you who always listen eagerly waiting

2:19yet you are never far from me even when my mind roams up on a stage where I put on masks and garments that constrict me you are quietly present in that fragment garden where I always wait for you as you wait it for me to awaken and when you come close enough I will return to the earth what belongs to it I will carry only those pionies I have tended solely for you my dearest and for your Mohan as well for his face which will wander intoxicated through your fragment cars so thank you very much. Thank you Radha Kripa Kataksha you want to say something about this song how it came to you this poem is when it came is it's new one or not because they are interesting

3:26okay yes it is the newest one there is no actually some proper time that poems appearing it's the pen of the Radikasville actually it's not that I decide I will now sit down and write the poem mostly when I dive into meditation or chant or walk or whatever some pictures appears or some words and then arise the desire to put on the paper and make some construction to be well available enough to read to Radik and to you also to share these motions actually yes I don't know how it came it's the always spontaneous is somehow rather just

4:26just this actually it's difficult to write and I want to explain the emotions up on Radik it's not too easy to explain actually this is just a small attempt to construct some some point to express it and share it actually to express these drops which coming to me so it's like this I cannot remember how this poem came actually because this Bajana deepest part of the Bajana going in the mind through the mind and then is easily coming to the heart so this is the beginning of the poem it's actually was like this when you come into my mind then happens something some emotions

5:26blooming and this desire arise to express it and and offer to Radika actually that is always this desire to offer some service to her actually and this is a way which coming like a gift to me by her sweet will to make it and offer and to you also to go to them or to you to make some sharing to put her in the center and glorify and her and giving love to her any way we can actually so I encourage you also some of you also read I'm sure that's also right I'm sure that some of you surely write writing something about Radika and please if you have something just share it

6:32it's not that I have to always I read I'm sure that all of you have some emotion and that this should be be shared so this is for now thank you very much thank you thank you Radika Kataksha for sharing this little fragments of your heart and your budget so devotees who are deeply engaged in the writing the poetry or whatever so if now you are invited to express yourself also to the others for the pleasure of Gurudev and Radha Mohan and everyone actually whatever we are doing we are doing for the pleasure to Gurudev Vaishnavas our beloved Ishtadev Rindavan everything what we are doing actually we are trying to do it for their pleasure and always remind ourselves that

7:41like Radha Kripa Kataksha said we are not in the center of the Seva they are in the center of the Seva we are circulating around them trying to serve them begging for their mercy but they are in the center of our hearts they are in the center of our life and we depend on them so that's the position of someone who wants to attain this sublime the goal of life so Radha Radha now another thus we will read and continue from last Saturday please an answer Jay yeah Radha Radha maybe we can start from beginning because we read last time just a part of first paragraph so I will read for the beginning the verse fifty fifty eight and then notes from

8:44Ananta Das Babijim oh swamini mistress while you are on your way to the abode of the king of Raja Nandishvara to cook for Madhava every pore of hair on your body stands erect of joy in your gate folders will my eyes ever attain this vision oh swamini mistress while you are on your way to the abode of the king of Raja Nandishvara to cook for Madhava every pore of hair on your body stands erect of joy in your gate folders will my eyes ever attain this vision

9:47notes the more the devotee experiences the more the devotee's devotional hope increases when devotion appears in the heart the devotee feels himself unqualified but he is also bound by strong hopes for attaining the beloved in Otkali Kavallari she Rupa Goswami right where am I a very big soul and where is this love that is really attained even by great devotees still I am agitated by strong hope for attaining this this hope is nectar and is the

10:48support of life this hope will be very strong in Swarupa Vesh this is a very beautiful thing much mischief will go by thinking I'm Radhas made servant Swarupa Vesh will set fire to the mischief of lust and anger in the heart from Sanatana Goswami's Brihat Bhagavatam Rita it is known that I don't have the power to experience the bliss of meeting the Lord separation is my practice a person who has not experienced separation first cannot desire meeting in Swarupa Vesh separation

11:56will be experienced not in bodily consciousness in Swarupa Vesh the aspirant will constantly think when will I get it I feel so miserable I could die like a fish out of water so Rade we can stop little bit here last time on satadism we were talking about importance of hope which is nourishing the vote is heart determination motivation enthusiasm that one day by the mercy he will attain the goal so this hope is necessary to develop and this hope cannot be developed artificially we need someone

12:57who really really convinced us that this goal of attaining Rajadham attaining the position of Radha Dasi is a so valuable jewel that all our faith and desire to attain that goal becomes condensed and through this faith which is the base of any spiritual life any spontaneously hope is arising in the heart in the consciousness in the mind and that hope is giving devotee the strength spiritual strength and one very interesting thing I noticed now last time I didn't but Baba saying here devotees in the first sentence devotee's devotional hope increases so it automatically it comes that there is hope also without devotion it can be religious hope and also

14:06it can be materialistic hope and here we can see the spiritual hope in the form of devotional hope all three kinds of hopes have a saying it has a goal but not the same one in material life hope for attaining material desire is present in religious life hope for attaining the God like a savior is a present in the heart and the spiritual goal is the goal of the soul could develop relationship with the God and this is only spiritual hope then Baba is making more specific devotional hope in the mood of Maghriba this kind of hope is constantly flowing and burning in the heart of Raghunat his hope and from and that he was reading very nicely

15:11and many things are coming actually from the commentary that this hope is focused for attaining the love this is Pryorjan and this is why Raghunat is Pryorjan Guru because his majori devotion and hope from Maghriba is showing that he wants to attain only Raghunat is made so to lotus feet and to become Raghunat is made so he Baba is saying I am Raghunat is made servant who can say I am Raghunat is made servant Guru Dev can say because I will prove you Guru Dev that you can say this because you have realization and we Sadaqas we have to follow those who has realizations their nature their feelings

16:15of Maghriba because they are always living in their Swarupavish and Baba is talking here that hope in Swarupavish is something which will bring devotee sooner or later to the lotus feet of Raghunat and the separation now he is coming from the hope he is coming to the separation because without hope there is no separation we can see how all these thinny emotional and psychological things are connected in the beautiful garland in beautiful golden chain hope and separation but from which identity not material not religious but from devotional identity I am Raghunat is made servant so the more Swarupavish is establishing the heart of devotee separation automatically

17:23is appearing and my understanding is I am sorry that I am expressing this but I am trying to repeat the Guru Dev's words in which he say first Shradha because this faith is the base for the hope but we cannot stay all the time on that level we need stronger deeper intimate relationship with Ishtadev and Ishtanishtha then Guru Nishtha becomes even more stronger in what in what Guru Nishtha is focused focus that my Guru is first of all by the mercy of his Guru by the mercy of Radharani firmly established in his Premarupaya, Manjari Bhav and that through him through his words through his eyes through his embraces through his chest aisements Kripa is flowing in the heart of Selaka

18:32this hope brings devotee to the firm faith that he is completely opening his heart to attain beloved Radharani and Mohan where Radhika sees the happiness and pleasure in the heart of her maid servant or my Guru Manjari somehow they are both inspired to infuse more strength more spiritual strength more taste in the heart of unqualified Selaka then his faith becomes more stronger his hope becomes spiritual hope because he is immediately and spontaneously his Varupavesh is awakening so he starts to have firm hope firm faith from hope in the

19:35Swarup of his Guru firm faith and hope and love also to the real identity of Radha Mohan not like a statues on the altar and what is very important he starts to have very firm faith hope for his own Swarup when this is established like identity I am Radharani's maid servant what does it mean actually it means that attachment and love starts to bloom in the heart of Selaka no one can say I am yours if he doesn't have a love so when Ragunati saying here I am Radha's maid servant he is firmly fixed in his identity I am Radharani's maid servant in his Varupavesh then feeling of separation in the ways are starting to flow through his heart through his emotions

20:44through his even Sadaka wish so we can see here that many times we were talking how Sadaka is feeling separation but this kind of separation cannot be compared with separation of someone who already attains Varupavesh because it's completely different intensity of emotions which there is no words which can explain this but Sadaka can open the heart very sincerely in an innocent way without any hidden motives hidden desires cheating mentality completely honestly to open his heart that this waves from Ragunati's heart from Guru Dev's heart from Guru Parampara's

21:49simply splash him we have to be splashed by the waves of emotions of pure devotees we cannot go step by step just put one leg in the ocean and then run away we have to be splashed with the waves from their heart and how to be splashed to simply stand raise up hands please I am completely depending on you this is the moment of Sharanagati I am depending on you splash me pull me drown me put me in the middle of the ocean of your love that and soak me so this bhakti has nothing with philosophy this words of bhakti can everyone who is simply not under the guna of tamoguna or rajaguna can very easily understand

22:54relish and practice so when Ragunati saying here separation is my practice Sadaka's practice is to meditate on his separation because in his separation immediately his love is including so this is why association is important with whom we associate that waves will splash our heart if we associate intimately and closely with the devotees who has a ruchi who has a shakti who has a bhava who has a prima the waves of their bhava emotions and purity especially purity and humility will splash Sadaka who is not a pure still so this is the power of strong pure association which is not easy to find but by the kripa we would have some chance it will

24:03be given us this present that we embrace that present and put on our heart association of pure devotees there is nothing more valuable for Sadakas in this world but only association of pure satsanga krisna seva bhagavatanamav rajava say a is sadhana padana satsanga this is the five republican Swami is saying this the five items which are necessary for practicing bhakti and attaining the goal of bhakti and all of them are essential parts for devotional path satsanga is the first what does it mean association of the pure devotees because only through them we can start to learn something about krisna vindavan loving relationships bhakti rada rani confines shall pass times from whom we will listen and we will hear only satsanga

25:12bhagavata scriptures which are glorifying and also that they are directing us on the bhaktirasa which is the essence of all scriptures but how we will understand bhaktirasa with those satsanga who will give us the strength and power intelligence proper relishment and taste and understanding who will empower us to practice bhagen satsanga satsanga satsanga krisna nama satsanga is giving the nama and satsanga in the form of guru is giving harinam diksha and through this nama the door is starting to open to nama rupa guna and ultimate leba and rupa guswami is finishing satsanga krisna say bhagavata nama vrajavase which kind of satsanga you

26:17want vrajavase he is closing he is starting with sadhu sanga or satsanga and closing with specific satsanga vrajavase so this is like embrace one hand is satsanga which are helping us and another sanga is vrajavase it's very specific sanga which can bring us to rindava to develop vrajam mood vrajaprine which is completely full of spontaneous love intimacy relishment of beauty and sweetness of rada and mohan this is vrajavase they don't care for the god actually they are worshipping god in vrindavan guru they can confirm that or deny that vrajavase they have god they are worshipping naryan but not for themselves they are worshipping the god to protect krisna

27:21to protect rada rada so god is not excluded from raja that is excluded from de rada lita from krisna from radika kishore kishori they don't see the god forms opulences mystic powers knowledge in this beautiful yugala kishore so you see satsanga and the end is vrajavase this is the perfect circle how sadaka can slowly step by step but surely the advancing spirit alive because from vrajavase sadaka has opportunity to learn to love and to feel separation this kind of separation doesn't exist anywhere only in vrajap and this kind of separation we cannot learn from the books

28:28this kind of separation there is no manual for that there is no seminars for that it's not positive affirmations or motivations it's not new age philosophy vraja mood vraja separations can be learned only by heart to be splashed by the feelings of first of all love of raja vases the way how they are loving and also the way how in the same time they are crying so this kind of separation can help sadaka to develop his love if he is meditating with his heart not intellect with his heart meditating on the feelings of raja vase and he is starting with his guru jari then separation becomes beautiful sweet item of sadhana bhakti

29:36which can bring devotee to the bhava and by the kripa also to pray and so on and so on to the ocean of makhava because these words oh i'm sorry i'm talking again this words of ragunat and bhava are the expression of their prima their bhava it's not ordinary words with many times we heard they we can feel it they try they try to hide these words and we can see how guru dev is expert in hiding but this bhava simply the nature of this bhava is simply bursting out exploding out in the form of their words in the form of their compassion in the form of their their good desires well nicely express desires to help sadaka so this is not ordinary words

30:38they are full of pure emotions hankerings lamentations longing and humility and full of separation and this kind of separation is separation from someone who already had direct realization with rataqa this is the most valuable jewel in this world for all world and this is the greatest gift of chaitanim khabra he gave us this opportunity i had to stop otherwise it will be lecturing guru dev please help this fool you know i want to share that i thinking without meeting there is no due separation okay so yes i know i agree is that really is fact with all the meeting of all it can be separation

31:44so because she delete when we meet someone then we have developed a relation and love and then he will suffer this is very natural so i know this side give without meeting how i can feel separate i don't understand many times if the word separation is dark but i can meet up with her when i don't meet up all i would love it but here is written in not material consciousness is written in the spiritual consciousness so is a part in part in a super soul so they are together then they are separated super soon and so separated part in part so

32:46so in the natural they are meeting because of my condition of my material body i am not understanding it that i am a part in part in a few because of my condition i know some understand but really we are part in part Philippines the moment i understand i start feeling separation for you right click on me when we are not in condition when i'm in condition of my material ego then i cannot understand this the moment we are free from that i will understand this tell me to understand what is the mutual value i see what it now is that it says they are

33:50feeling that we are part in part of you you are my part in part you are not a creator you are my son my son my i have to take care of you and so i'm praying to Narayan to protect you my God i pray to Paramahana that take care of you Paramahana will take care of you because you are a child this is what you are understanding this is what you are asking i have to care you how do you care i i have to care you without my sea of radhika how can come this is for them i see when when you i see you go there when i see anyone she or Narayan all on the center

34:51i say well christmas and i see you go now he is saying i say this where is christmas he says lala here he is not a god then what he goes nice like a god to do is lala everything is for him he is for our own protection of him he is they are praying to all god for them for their channel time is so bright to see what things are there there he changes not for them i need regiwasi above he changes not for our people now just he changes by anyone who wants to come they can come and go and he regiwasi is only not for the electricity you go they will give your bed and they will

35:52treat them the floor you cannot do it you say i have no place for your whole house and they have one room and they have a place for 10 person and you have a 10 room but you have no place for one person because there is no bed no comforts no water or cold comfortable such as toilet you cannot give that you say sorry i have to strain water so this is the brajwasi in brajwasi even one time i was there i was being brajwasi is cooking they are literally it's not what if they are there it's now they give them regiwasi and regiwasi for them which is again they will make money what they give to all peoples who fear that they distinguish us not for everyone they are in action they are in the

36:53feeling of this feeling and taking care of the Kṛṣṇa like anything and they feel suppression take you off or any money they will not go out of the Dharma why they are not going to leave the job what is this they just say the best place in God's works this sits well down this is rāsikā's they're not sure you cannot see rāsikā's very difficult to understand they know God they will not start preaching you they will ask how are you when you are seeing what it will eat go to be no guava you go you will not give anything last to you you say how are you they don't know but i ask you how are you where you are staying all the comfortable is there not how i can help you they have nothing

37:57how they will help they you don't know but they will ask you what they have they will give to eat to you they will give the place to sit to me but no comparison no beauty of this no no comparison of this feeling they being living you can feel they are living with the feelings they feel suppression from the care they will not show but they care this is why no one can understand really behavior of rāsikā's because you see rāsikā's you see rāsikā's Krishna ekā's they are one so two body so they are one already for us of for this exchange of feelings they become two they naturally they will miss

38:59each other because they are up and up when they become up so one will miss two others in the nature so that is rāsikā so he is separated to super soul that is rāsikā's my condition my ego not make me to understand this this is my foolishness this is my condition with this i create these circumstances to be out of that so suppression is there because we are together materially we said that we will not be then suppression will not happen other in the material meeting is virtually we will not arrive we are both together but we feel we have a home in a we never see each other so this is good and then why it's important to clearly accept not only understand but accept

40:02that we are never first of all like a soul and supreme soul we are never separate no like you said we are far have you far have you my here yes we are always together so and so is also not separateness because of my condition we want to be separated my ego make with us no soul and soul can separate no soul and so much organ is separate is a can shoot and is a mind quality ego my condition make me to feel like this reality is not that my plastic condition yeah because here it's written how actually the pure devotees ragunat also he feels separation but from his Farupavish who is awakened completely in his consciousness he's not identified with ragunat actually he's identified with Tulsi

41:09he don't see himself like a ragunat we see him like someone who is doing austerities by John reading talking crying but actually he doesn't see himself like this and from that point his separate in Swarupavish separation will be experienced not in bodily consciousness yeah in Swarupavish the aspirant will constantly think when will I get it I feel so miserable I could die like a fish out of water the devotee sits down in the marketplace of mercy and gets what he desires by paying the price

42:13of having a feeling of dirt the sweet able place for having this feeling of dirt is Raja Dhamma here the separated devotee wanders around looking for his desired deity weeping and lamenting when Gopakumar came to the terrestrial Raja his condition was thus I spent all days and nights there weeping in great distress with the beautiful voice in the material world a person is so distressed when he loses a child or so that he sits down in a lonely place without speaking to anyone simply crying people of the world

43:15become mad when they are out of money oh Rade when will I feel like this about you when the devotee reaches the dead condition slum and he cannot stay far away anymore the question may now arise money and children are very tangible things aren't they Radehrani is not such a tangible thing how can we experience her how can we think of her why we have never experienced her the answer is you cannot experience her because you don't think of yourself as her mate servant this is the key this is the key this is the essence Sara of everything how I identify myself yeah I cannot accept that I am your deity

44:28in my abhimana we need the Rada dhasi hoya abhimana abhimana for the pride of that one time we are dhasi the answer is you cannot experience her because you don't think of yourself as her mate servant well this is the problem is there I want to leave my abhimana that is not right about the material that Radehrani although everything is there when the Rada dhasi God but Richard nothing to do automating happening this is the mercy of Rada dhasi just not care to the dhasi of raskar is I have a gatekeeper of life protection they are real people real Krishna so we can see here how this

45:35nishta is firmly established in the heart I am I know who am I I know what I am doing that's me and from that establishment firm establishment nishta establishment hope can arise spirits of devotion of hope that the point so this is the checking point for each person how much fate I have that I am Rada dhasi because if the gap is existing between my words will not help me feelings identification not I am Gorangasundar but I am mate servant of Rada I it's immediately including the sole consciousness because otherwise if it's not established firmly we are practicing Madhya Rabhava

46:39from bodily consciousness when we have Manjali vow and we not understand my Manjali Sarubh and I am not practicing from Manjali Sarubh practice then we are finally done so Manjali Sarubh is so important to be in my Sarubhavit is Rada dhasi. Ananthaji please continue next sentence Mike, Mike, let me go and ask you about it. Right the answer is you can't experience here because you don't think of yourself as her mate servant. This awareness will awaken when you experience your relationship with her.

47:45This awareness I'm mate servant will awaken but it must first must be awareness because I am aware that time this body I am very aware that everything what belongs to this body is mine I am firmly niche that aware about this so spiritual life spiritual consciousness doesn't enter in my awareness that time this body and that everything what belongs to this body is mine this is the illusion awareness which is free of cheating mentality cheating mentality is I am this body this is the greatest cheating of myself then I'm expanding this awareness to

48:47everyone but awareness I am mate servant of Radharani will awaken when experience of relationship with her appears so when we really understand this heart will start to cry because the motive will understand I am completely useless I am completely unqualified I have to protect the world from myself but my only hope is your lotus feet my guru dear my guru my journey my Radharani and the dust of Raja where your lotus feet are walking it's not poetry it's not nice words it's awareness then what will happen budget budget will swiftly be accomplished in this

49:50way in Premabhakta Chandrika is written my heart will be filled with joy when I defeat my enemies loss lost anger greed and I will easily worship Govinda the person full of joy which is awakened it's not material heart who wants to feel the joy is the heart in which so consciousness and manjury consciousness is awakened this is spiritual joy of someone who attain natural position this is not fake joy artificial joy this is eternal joy this Ananda is the essence of every

50:50living being my heart will be filled with joy when I defeat my enemies lost anger greed and I will easily worship Govinda so with my material conceptions which are deeply rooted in my heart I cannot worship Radharani and Mohan how I can give the pleasure to their pure senses if my senses are full of lust greed anger because of material consciousness so what to do in this helpless situation should I give up or should I just surrender should I helplessly open my heart to the pure heart of the wine devotees and begging them for the mercy how I can worship Radhika with my tamogun how I can worship

51:59Rajogun how I can worship Radharani with my bodily consciousness identification I even cannot properly listen about topics about her but I am very proud because I know so many things I'm talking to others I am behaving like a cheater my words are so sublime because it's not my words I'm repeating the words of others but I am proud and representing myself that this is my words and my evening what is there believe me sorry Gurudev please tell me on day I'm proud that I know many things but this proudness and knowing many things is lucky we do go to life sorry to say this is the my blockage yeah but I am proud from my first ego I'm proud for knowing many things but this proudness for

53:06knowing many things he cannot make me clear to understand one thing what is there he happening so he's a foolishness so Prabhupāsa Rāskā you understand many things he will react he doesn't just what is the use of knowing everything and it's not what is the problem how much coming you have knowing everything and not proudness coming yes you're right when we really know something which is valuable then without any endeavor humbleness is appearing in the heart so this is not knowing anything we don't know how but let's come so this is the fact this is the fact a person in Svarupa Vesh maybe engaged in worldly duties but his mind is always fixed

54:20on the lotus feet of his beloved deity this is Bajna Kriya please Gurudev Bajna Kriya Gurudev this is Bajna Kriya someone someone who is aware about his Svarupa Vesh externally he can perform many many things unlimited things but whatever he touches it becomes seva because he is inside identify I'm not this body and all these things are not belonging to me they are here to engage them in the Siva and it cannot be done artificially this is why we need instruction of Guru I don't know I'm still on that level I'm not on that level to be fixed in my Svarupa Vesh I'm not

55:25his Svarupa Veshnishta but I need instruction to follow hoping that I will purify my heart and come on that stage by the mercy and Baba here is saying Ragunad in his Svarupa Vesh such person can do whatever he likes he can be naked in front of all world he can be the richest person in the world he can do whatever he is free from karma this is why no one can understand Premi Kadivotti who will understand even Babu Kadivotti and then we are confused why he is behaving this why he said that why he does this and that and this and that and this why because I am nothing Svarupa Vesh can I are you agree or you so how did Svarupa can practice this by following instruction of the

56:28Guru and when he is sitting in the bus and going to his job he is sitting and thinking I am Radha's maidservant and Radhika gave me this job and Radhika and my Guru they gave me Kripa for the celery which will I use for devotional service this is Sharanagati Guru I don't know this is art of living Bajana in the bus and Kriya on the job I make the simple I'm sorry maybe someone will be offended I see my Guru Chandra is here now I can see him Radha Chandra says I'm sorry but I didn't see you

57:31Jai Guru Dev Jai it looks it looks that feelings of separation is the most natural thing when the Jiva when the Atma is part and parcel of the Param Atma this natural to feel separation when I'm not in this relation like Radha Krishna Aikha Atma when they are separate is totally natural that they feel separation from each other so why it is not natural for me to feel separation from Shri Radhika because I'm not living in my true identity I'm not living in the truth that I am Radharani's maidservant I'm so covered with the material so it is the material energy

58:35that makes us so without feeling that I not can feel that I'm Radharani's maidservant but it is the most natural thing so when this will come that I want to live in my true identity when I want to embrace this relation with it that I have with Shri Radhika my Radharani then Bhajan becomes also natural Baba mentioned in the proper right then Bhajan swiftly becomes natural because I am your maidservant you are my Svarmini but I not realize that so I absorb myself and Bhajan when will I strongly reject the idea that I am this material body that my name is

59:38Gora Chandra that I'm 50 years old and have a male body when I will strongly reject this identification and embrace my true identity then I can feel separation I read about Mahamata the strong feeling of possessiveness that starts in Pramabhakti with Dasya Rasa you are my Lord and I am your servant there is identification you are my and I am yours and this increases in the Rasa you are my friend and I am your friend you are my son and I am your mother like my it's like my arm when cut my arm then separate it in the same way you are my Svarmini

1:00:44if I'm not with you then I feel like I'm dying and the surprising that that is supposed to be the most natural feeling but I'm so covered by the material identification that I don't feel it so I need mercy that I can feel the natural separation and natural relation that we eternally have rather actually it came to me Gora Chandra that why it looks so impossible for me because I don't want deeply in the heart I'm attached for my body and belongings to my body and from that I want to jump on Manjari Bhav artificially with my material mind material senses material

1:01:49intelligence materialize this is how I imagine that Bhakti Yoga is I don't want to leave this identity I'm very fixed and firm Nishtha in this identity so Maya has to do her duty to slap me and this is the Kripa Anukula practical little Anukula little practical little Anukula little practical to convince me that this is not my natural environment and this body is not natural like you said use this word natural environment for my soul what to speak about Manjari I don't want I speak like someone who wants I behave outside like someone who wants but I cannot cheat the experts who can read my heart and mind I don't want this is my problem

1:02:58and all questions are arising from this simple answer and I witness on myself I witness on the others also when you approach to San Sadhu ask Kesha Baba anything please Baba give me mercy for that for that for that for that for that for that for that and Baba just seem to say yeah if you want you will get it if you have desire and bus this is the answer is it Prem if you have desire you will come in Green Island if you have desire you will chant you will enter in your budget if you have desire Baba but please how I can have desire to have desire only if you have desire to have desire to have desire to have desire simple answer but we are not ready to apply my dears we are celebrating so many festivals so many this and that and that but simple things

1:04:01we don't want to want and because of that when we are doing these festivals really these kirtans do is this kata because of that we are not offering these words these songs these dance these seva these cooking for the pleasure of Radharan you see someone will say direct words yes if you want to practice bhakti you have to practice directly one pointed narrow path I want with my ears to serve and give Radharani pleasure this is why Sharavana is important other things are not Sharavana Sharavana is I'm giving you the bouquet of my emotions through my ears to accept the flavors of your sweetness and beauty this is Sharavana but I'm so stuck in my bodily

1:05:06consciousness that I want with my bodily consciousness to attain majority but I want to give the pleasure with my tongue with singing with talking like bouquet of my emotions pleasure to group pleasure to Radha Mukha I want to give the pleasure to Vrindavan you see this is completely another conception all other conceptions are completely materialistic piles or impires doesn't matter I'm coming in Vrindavan I'm staying in Vrindavan not to receive to get something but to give give my my nothing what I have we are not coming in Vrindavan and staying and living or whatever to get something the mood of Raja is to give and coming in Vrindavan to learn how to give

1:06:09my senses to listen about Vrindavan to touch the dust of Vrindavan to see Radha Mukha and to be actually seen not to see I don't have eyes to see this is my cell and we can see how it's difficult to change the conception that everything is meant for me it's very difficult because I don't want I have my own limitations up to here that's all right but beyond sorry to say yeah Radha Radha change you can speak in English I would try to understand like thank you uh Radha Radha I have one one set of words about everything that I've been through I'm

1:07:33and some borders, some laws that do not come before they come before they come before. And this is also like a mother or a father, a father, his children do not come to the criminal. And at one point it reaches a lot of material. But now, I don't know what it is, but it is a shame, it is a pity that I am so, that I have made it to them. I don't want to say anything that gave me, gave me, gave me my Guru, gave me all of them, all of them helped me. But I think that it is a shame that I have made it to them, but I think that it is something that is intimate, that I share with everyone.

1:08:39And I wish that I can continue to continue to help others. I am sorry, but I am sorry that I can't, that I am not in love with them. Okay, I will try to summarize, but it is very nice that she expressed her feelings. Actually, in the beginning of her name is Vrindadevi. In the beginning of her spiritual life, she was very much attached with Paramatma. And she always has this feeling that Paramatma was protecting her, guiding her, whatever is necessary in the life.

1:09:42She got the feeling that Paramatma is supplying that, but now she has a feeling of little shame, because she cannot practice and live with full determination. Hoping that Guru Dev will give the Kripa, give the Mercy, Vashnavas will give the Mercy and give the Kripa. But somehow she feels great shame, because she cannot be faster in her spiritual advancement, in practice. So this is expression. You want to add something, Vrindadevi, I made for you. No, I just wanted to tell you, that I came to me, that it is enough for me to live this material. I came to Vrindadevi.

1:10:43I was sitting with the Kripa, and the Kripa, and I was sitting with the Kripa, but I was sitting with the Kripa. I was satiated with the material life, and I came to Rindavan with great hope. But somehow, I feel that it's not going in my spirit's life, like I was expecting, and I would like to be much more brave. I need a lot of courage, because in the time when I

1:11:44had a relationship and faith in Paramatma, it was somehow I felt much more secure, that someone is always with me, and I accepted that. But now somehow, I don't feel so stable, please Rindavan, correct me. I don't feel so secure, so that I can have a strength to go on. I have a trust in Guru and Vaishnavas. All the things which I'm listening and thinking about, I'm not so much open to express this, but I'm very much inside of myself, and I'm very grateful to the Guru there,

1:12:45because I feel him very strongly, he's always with me. It was Rindavan's great urge to express her feelings in this movement. Thank you. Thank you. Well, I just hope and strength. The person in Sarupa Vesh may be engaged in worldly duties, but his mind is always fixed on the lotus feet of his beloved data. Shimon Mahaprabhu compared these devotees with wives that have a paramour. The wife may be engaged in her household work, but her mind is always fixed on her paramour.

1:13:46When her household work is somehow accomplished, she will run off to her lover. In the same way, the devotee is also taking the lotus feet of Shirada in his heart, in the lonely place, whenever he can get out of his material entanglement. Everyone in this world calls me mine, mine, but I don't lend an ear to this. I will meditate on Swami's lotus feet, her form, her attributes, and her pastimes. I will see to it that she will be satisfied with my devotional service. Shira Rupa Goswami has written the essential instructions down in his Upadeshamrita,

1:14:52verse 8. Gradually, the devotee must become more and more absorbed in engaging the tongue and the mind in chanting and remembering the glories of Radha and Mohanah's names, forms, and pastimes. Spending all his time living in Raja, in allegiance to the Raga Nuga Bhaktas, this is the quintessence of all instruction. Shira Rupa Goswami has written the essential instruction down in his Upadeshamrita, verse 8. Gradually, the devotee must become more and more absorbed

1:15:52in engaging the tongue and the mind in chanting and remembering the glories of Radha and Mohanah's names, forms, and pastimes. Spending all his time living in Raja, in allegiance to the Raga Nuga Bhaktas, this is the quintessence of all instruction. So we can slowly end here with the words of Rupa Goswami, which should be meditated and trying to apply in our life. Gradually, if someone wants to share something before the end, just be free to do that. Okay, thank you very much, Gurudev, hoping that our words are like drops to give you pleasure and Radha Mohanah.

1:16:53We don't have anything else. We are beggars. What can beggars offers? Sunita did it one time very nicely. How can you worship Ganga, the best ways to offer the Ganga water to Ganges? So it's very very important for all of Sadhakas that we share and offer the words of pure devotees to pure devotees. This is our flowers. For their pleasure. Radha, Radha, Radha. Radha, Radha, Radha, Radha.