#269 Always Check Your Instruments

0:00Watch the Toxic Avenger now on Screambox. The radioactive superhero that certified fresh on Rotten Tomatoes is available to watch now from the comfort of your home. Bloody FM listeners get a special introductory offer by going to fit.ly slash Toxic FM. That's bit.ly slash TOXIEFM for a special offer on Screambox. Sometimes you gotta do something. You gotta check out this week's holocaust Michael Angel of Fox.

1:03Hi Karen. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. My friends. What do you call them? Fiend. Fiend's. Fiend fans. Yeah. That's all. The Fee fans. Fee fans. Got to recognize at bathhouse the other day. Thank you Fred. Oh Karen's like I only get recognized when I'm naked. Follow me. We're a weird thing. Oh, Holy Vegan. Yeah. a big fan, but I was like, oh, thanks, what's your name? And then he's like, I'm Fred, and I was like, oh, this is Abby. And Abby's like, I'm a fan, too. And Abby told me later that one, Fred exited the sauna. His whole ass crack was out, but I missed it, though. I was like, from above as short as you mean, or he was just wearing above as short. OK, because I was like, you're like, all the way to the kitchen, balls were out. I don't know, I haven't been to the bad house. Oh, I thought you had them. I thought we talked about, oh, you've gone that you read about the Williamsburg one being disgusting. Yes. But then I also, and I cannot say where, I did meet the owner. Oh, yeah. We can't say where, because I signed an NDA, which I was reminded of recently. But now I really want to say where. That's like the only thing I want to talk about.

2:05Happened to the best of all. But he was like, he's like, oh, it's a hit piece. And he's like, I'm not the Williamsburg one. Yeah, and he's like, didn't you see the other article in some other newspaper? I was like, no, man, I'm only reading the one that talks about how there's like hair on everything. Like, people are getting like foot funguses. I'm not reading though. Like, actually, it's kind of a great place. If you get a foot fungus though at the bathhouse, like, you didn't shower after then. Because it's very possible to leave their clean. If you are barefoot in the shower, you could still get one. I don't know. The showers there are incredible. There are little computers. Wait. Wait, really? Yeah. Like, there's multiple heads. There's like a digital thing. You turn it, max, knit it up, multiple this, shoot it. This way, shoot it, rainforest. Yeah. I'm not saying it's impossible to catch something. I'm saying the likelihood. And there's people following you around cleaning up after you. Now. Great. Yeah. I've never been to the Williamsburg one though. I've only been in the flat iron one. OK. Why am I going to go to Brooklyn if I don't have to?

3:08Only because that's where all the artisans live. Oh, Lizartists. They say in Bushwick, there's like a higher concentration of artists than there are, like, do they mean poverty, agents and stuff? Yeah, they mean poverty. Are you famisa? It's a you fam. Listen, they're just like us, except they do their drugs on the street. We just inside. I was talking to Lewis about how we used to do Coke yesterday. I don't miss Coke at all. I don't miss doing Coke with Lewis. No, God. Oh, my God. That was a love point. If there was ever a person who doesn't need a reason to fly off a window, I know. He's got enough testosterone for all of us. Yeah. Yeah, he's been drinking his body brain. What is his coffee brain? Body brain? I've tried it. I liked it. I sent my parents some. It's good. For an instant coffee, it tastes very good. Big dick and mama fiasis on the balcony. And Ali supports testosterone production. Yeah. I don't know where we should get to him on some. I drink some. It's good. Oh, yeah, I made you. I was, yeah, we went through that bag pretty good.

4:09Oh, good. Oh, okay. Wait, did I tell you to give her one? She didn't want it. She didn't want it. Listen. Lewis made this? Stop, stop, stop. It's going to make me put her in again. No. Yeah, I don't know. There are a few things I don't take with recommendations for a moment. I'm not going to his mother's day and I'm not drinking his coffee. This is a random hard pivot. But did Irene get engaged? She did. I thought so. They weren't like, they were a little, I was confused. Because I feel like there wasn't a hard post. It was only in stories. Well, it was him. He, John is such as she calls him a hoe. He's like a hoe because like she was like, I wanted to like text you personally and now I have to rush to text you. You. Yeah, he blew the loan. Because he blew the loan. Yeah. Which was like her hand with an engagement ring which is like, right?

5:09But also the caption would threw me off a little. It was something like, she tricked me into it. Yes, yes. And I was like, are they tricking me? I didn't say congrats or anything because I still wasn't sure. No, no, they're not. No, they're not. No, they're not. Friend of the show Irene Morales is engaged. Congratulations. Yes, very exciting. John, now we love him. He's great. You know, might as well. He's, I like him because I just, no, just because they've like, you know, it's like, they're not going anywhere. Right, my mom, I might as well. Yeah, great couple. Yeah. I like him because when I walked onto this set of tires this past time, which, you know, I may be on, I may be cut, okay? So nobody freak out if I'm not in season three. I'm in the edit bay and I'll decide. Michael will have full control of her ring in the storyline. I'm not telling Karen shit. Yeah. It depends on how, how she, how much sell so she gives me by the end of this pod. You're going to have all the sell to you up. Yeah. Can you fucking imagine that is kind of how show business goes, though?

6:10100%. Yeah. Oh, I never, I'm just like, maybe, maybe not. It's always like, when I pulled up this time, it was ham like right there. And I was like, oh, a few because there's always new people that you don't know. And the crew was like, they suck. They don't suck. I love like me and like the makeup girls like this, you know, and like a few of like the PS and a couple of them, you know, and the AD like shut up. See you, Jay, like everybody. But then there's some people that just, I hope you're all, I hope you're all tracking who she didn't call out because those are the people she's thinking of. And I, if you know anything about show business and like the other types of people on set, like costume people, that's exactly what was going through my mind. I love them. I love Desiree. I love Jen. They're both great. Jen is super fun. I'm giving away shit about. No, I can't say whatever. I'll tell you after that. Oh, shoot, they're fun because they let me look at things that I shouldn't see yet. What, like costumes they give plot away or something? Damn. So there's a costume-based plot, a costume-based plot. So yeah, congrats to them, though. They get a little weiner dog.

7:10They're going to be great. This Dobby become a magician. Stop roast, lost a little weight. Oh, yeah. But he heard his back. So I'm, you know, worried about him. That's what happens, right? You start making progress and then just fucking shoot him up. The peptides, the GLP ones? Yeah, the GLPs. I think he wants to do it the old fashioned way. Good for him, you know? Like old fashioned donuts, you know? Just, you know, he's like, he's going to make a bed of a cake bear better and fry them. But at least, I'll keep that. I mean, it's only a matter of time before they have like cake flavored GLPs. I'm sure they, yeah, like gummies. Yeah. They're like just jelly bellies, but full of whatever's in that shit. I don't know. I mean, that's how you can get your kids to eat them. If you have that kids. Because it's bad for their brains to tell them they're fat. Just make them not fat. But it isn't it may be bad for their brains, like, disrupt their serotonin production by starving them or whatever? Oh, do you think they have serotonin when they're getting called fat nugui all day at school? Do you think that? They're fucked either way.

8:11Yeah, they're getting their manufacturing their serotonin maybe when they're binge eating right at night. I was chubby as a kid, and I would have given anything to just have like a magic pill. I don't care. I don't care if I had cancer every day for my adulthood. I would have rather had a nice childhood. I didn't get any character anyway. I didn't grow in it, you know? Sure he did. No, I'm a fucking miserable asshole now. You have a thick skin? Yeah, it's just loose skin, really. No, everything's fine. I'm fine right now. I'm over. I'm above. Thank you for addressing it. I'm thick. Everyone's like, is she going to mention it? She's thick right now. She's thicky thick. You know what, I got it. I don't know. I can't decide. I think I am, though. I think I'm a little happier 10 pounds lighter. Yeah, I got it. You got to dial that in care. I know. I remember I was texting him like my 113 pounds when I was on my soft food diet. I couldn't really eat.

9:12It was just like hummus, cottage cheese, scallops. I was just like gumming things down. Yeah, I couldn't chew. I couldn't have steak. I couldn't have steak for six weeks. You didn't want to blend it up like Dr. Mike Isritel. I also, he looked. Oh, he's this like, woited out fitness influencer who's like on all the, he was not the one who's in the Epstein files, is he? I know that's Peter. That's Peter Atea. Yeah. Why do you Atea? Peter Atea. Bad boy, bad boy. Haven't seen him in a while. Oh, I wonder why. Yeah, he's just visiting Jizz Lane's cell. No, he's giving her peptides. Peptop? The peptide top. I don't know the guy you're talking about, though. And I feel like I know a lot of the guys. But he grinds up. He's, he's bald and he has a perfectly spherical head. Oh, wait, does he look like an X-Men character almost like he could be made of rocks? Yeah. He looks horrendous. And yeah, I mean, whatever, you know. I know who you're talking about, though. He is articulate. He's smart. Yeah, but he also like has sense of humor. I find so boring.

10:12Oh, no, no. Every time he tries to do a joke. No, we're not, we're not looking him for comedy. I'm like, but he doesn't so often. And I'm like, I'm like, whoever invented like skip five seconds ahead. Love that feature. Love that feature. What a feature. That's exactly how long a bit, those are bit increments. Oh, no. Oh, I can feel he's going to do this for 50. Sometimes I'll be like, tick, tick, tick, tick, and he'll still be going on like, like, like adding tags to his joke. Yeah, I'm like, this is a 30 second bit, bro. Let it go. I'm trying to find out what the most important protein is to eat after a workout. Come on. Just tell me, what is it? What did you discover? Oh, it's what you think it always is. It's fucking, it's fucking chicken breast or way. Yeah. I can't do way. Yeah, no way. No way. That's what, it upsets my tummy. Yeah, have you tried the isolate? I don't know, have I? Have you tried the beef? Now they're doing like beef, not way, but if that beef protein isolates themselves. I would, I feel like I would digest that better than, that's what they made it for.

11:13Promix makes it, I haven't tried it, but. Promix, my last promix order was just the salted watermelon pre-workout. Oh, I don't fuck with a pre-workout. Slame a coffee, get it over with. Yeah. Oh, that shit's for free. Maybe it's just hydrating, just like electrolytes. Yeah, I don't know. I like how it tastes. Okay, are we all right? Are we tasting our pre-workout right now? It was lodged for like the first 10 minutes. Like I like how it tastes. And then I was like, I got it, we got it down. We were talking about reverse knots last week. Reverse knots? What's a reverse, where you suck it up through your throat? Back through your nose, down out your mouth. Oh, Tim never blows his nose, he constantly swallows it. And by whole life, Tim, I, my whole life, the whole time I've thrown Tim, I'm like, this is the most disgusting thing, blow it out of your body and get rid of it. And now I've started, I'm doing this like a beauty massage lady. Yeah. And I'm like, I bet it's actually better for you to use your muscles to swallow it down instead of pushing everything forward.

12:14That's interesting. Now that, because she's like, apparently you can be swallowing wrong and you're aging your face like that. Right. And so now I'm like trying to re-teach myself how to swallow like I've a stroke patient or some shit. I'm like, I like look in the mirror while it's insane. I read, I saw this thing like if you can't swallow three times in a row, you're like, you're all, your nervous system is out of whack. Did you just did it? Oh my, well, nothing gives me a panic attack more than trying to swallow on purpose. I, my nervous system's out of whack. I can't do it. Yeah. What do you think it is? molestation? Like fast in a row? Yeah. Yeah. If you can't swallow your tongue all the way back down your tongue, you're fucking, you're dumb ass. You're fucking, you're fucked, man. Have you been watching Bailin Out Loud? No, I haven't either. I just watched the clips. Watching what? Bailin Out Loud. Oh. You love her. You think she's faking. I do think she's faking. I actually like, I think she's faking to the point where I actually only wanted to watch one or two clips

13:15and that's it. You don't buy into it at all. You don't think. I mean, what about the guy that yelled the n-word? Do you think his dress is real? I'm, I've already gotten in trouble for my paintings on this. But I'm happy to share, I'm happy to share with your audience as well. I'm like, who are you in trouble with? Uh, here's the thing. It wasn't, it wasn't like Helen Mirren came up and he yelled the n-word. Yeah. So like, what are we talking about now? No, okay. Like, you know what I mean? So it's not that random, you think. It's not random at all. He waited until Black person got on stage and then he yelled the n-word. I mean, I believe he has a neurological disorder that, but like, I'm like, what neurological disorder makes you say the most inappropriate shit? Like, it's not just that you say things you can't control. Like, if it was just like, uh, uh, like weird noises, which I know some of them have, that when I'm like, yeah, I don't know, but I do think there's a self-fulfilling prophecy with it, like the more you do it, the less control you have over it. That, that, that, that would make sense to me.

14:15And like, and like, uh, I do think like you kind of, there's, and I'm not, I mean, I think there's a sense where you like, give into it. People will share, especially if they're going to give you a TV show. And like, right, but the thing is, I'm like, some of the things she says is like, cock, cock. I'm like, oh, I know. Kotlin, Kotlin sucks a big cock. But that's, that's a thing. It's also like she's getting positive reinforcement because there's no way people aren't laughing when she does it. Well, my thought is, they're like, it's a neurological disorder, she can't help it. I'm like, but she was taught those words. It's not like, you know what I mean? She's using like, her brain is like picking very specific words that get strong reactions. Why? That's the part. It's not like she's saying, like, blue, rainbow, pumpkin seed. You know what I mean? She's saying, Colin Sons-Mathen sucks dick all night. Right. Like, why is it that? Is it her subconscious reaching out from beyond the brain? That's the thing, right? Like, it's her subconscious, you'd think. But. And why is that guy subconscious screaming the end word? Oh, shit.

15:15You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You have that's him, that Micah. I know why I do it. Yeah. Yeah. Why do you do it? I'm in love. Oh. I'm in the middle of having wonderful sex when I know it. That is very funny, because it's like the one pass is like during sex when it's conceptual with a partner, but your partner is white. I mean, make you do it. But you're like, it's what I can't come the most. You can't come unless it doesn't have to. I have to, I have no choice. I mean, Tim and I were arguing about this yesterday, but I'm like, you're allowed to be racist in your own home. Of course. Well, if not there, where? I wouldn't argue that you weren't allowed to. Well, he was being racist. He was like, you're racist here. And I'm like, yeah, in private, in private. Yeah. And also because some racism needs to be said. And then I mean, no fence. Sometimes you've got to be racist so you don't actually unload on the race. Yeah, you have to kind of like get it out. Just be like, you were seeing this, too, right? And then there's like, OK. And then you can both quietly deal with those feelings.

16:17Yeah. Or observations. Yeah. I agree. I agree. OK, Mabel. You know, Mabel's really getting into that. And like, they really, when she swallows those, they really solidify her shit up. I bet they fucking do. It's a whole knee, thank God. She's shooting a knee out to make calcify her knee. Mabel has been so well-behaved lately. It's, people have descended upon this neighborhood since the sun came out. Like, either they descended upon the neighborhood or they've all been inside, all winter. And I haven't seen any of them. It's both. So many people, so many dogs at all hours of the day. They're all out there. There's freaking construction going on. It's so annoying. I'm going to renegotiate my lease for sure. I wonder. I wonder. Yeah, because I'm going to say my views obstructed. Is it? Nope. I'm like, I'm like, I don't see a single, I see like the river. They could, but look at that. Look at that crane thing. Look at that construction machinery.

17:19I am, I am not paying for that construction machinery. It's so far away, it looks like a Tonk and Toy. Tonk, I want to see sailboats and fairies and nothing, no yellow machinery. You want to see fairies? You got to go up to Chelsea. Hello, Byron Island. Woo-hoo. Thank you, thank you. Oh, homophobia. I was like, I'm not just a racist. I'm also a bigot. Clip it. No. Yeah, my boyfriend's a racist in a homophobic. Oh, he said the fisherman on Long Island? I know, shocker. I know. Shocker, right? It's totally going against the grain. Maves, it's a little loud. Are you picking it up, Tim? I know. Oh, OK. I think she's grinding her teeth because we were talking about the N word. Oh, yeah, she gets mad. I sent her to camp with a militant black lesbian. And she comes back and she just feels like she's different. Yeah, she's like, it's one thing after another. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no. Fisherman, he says he's not racist. I was teasing him, he's like, I'm not rich.

18:19My best friend's black. I'm like, I know, but like some of the word do use are like pretty outdated. Oh, really? Yeah. He's like my grandfather. He's a fucking dinosaur, dude. I was so excited. I opened for a Louisie K. And I told him, like, thinking I'm bragging about. I'm like, yeah, but for Louisie K. And he goes, who's that? Go, are you kidding me? This sucks. He's never going to be impressed by anything. He knows, like, four people, that's so crazy. Because like, even like, people who don't know any comedians know who Louisie is. That's how I felt. I'm like, there's no way. I'm like, you're joking, right? But that's good. That way he's going to not get it. You want to impress him, like, make him your fan? I mean, it's impossible. There's no way. Yeah. Because I was like, you have plenty of fans in your DMs that you are not interested in. Yeah. I bet a lot of them are hotter than the guy you have now. I think my guy's very hot. Oh, OK. I'm very hot. See, Mike and I, you know how I feel. Yeah. OK.

19:21Wait, you don't think Tim's the most handsome man on Earth. Oh, my God. Someone commented on Tim's video the other day that he looked like Louis Litt. Louis Litt? The fucking ugly lawyer from Suits. I don't even know what that is. You got to look it up. It's so insane. Is it accurate? No. OK. Tim, it did not hurt his feelings, but now he's saying it. Maybe we'll go get some water, OK? No, Tim, does it need your help? This is very inaccurate. Very mean. It was, it was like crazy. I was like, yeah. Weird pole. That's, yeah, that's somebody who. That's what you say to like any Jew to make them feel insecure about looking Jewish. But he doesn't even, Tim's not even, no. Tim looks as white as they can. Hi, ma'am. Oh, is that a, oh, I didn't even know you saw that bone in her mouth. She was like, are you worried about like slicing and dicing or throw it up and choking on shit? Yeah, she's like a wolf, dude. Yeah, she was in the wild. She'd be eating fucking birds and frogs and snakes and naming

20:24all things that are smaller than that thing she just ate. Cow, knuckle, knuckles, that's what they do. They go for their knees. Did I know? It's about the right height. Did you know there's a coyote over here? Did you read about the coyote? Did you know I kept, I read a lot of them. Yes, I've been reading that too. I'm a huge avid reader of coyote. Of the moors. So there were coyotes in Central Park. Yes. And they're one Romeo and Juliet. They live there. I assume it's from the pack or whatever, but one wound up down here in the ice gate, rink shed. Fuck yeah. I never saw it, but Mabel was super interested in that area for like a couple of weeks. Oh, and you think it's because she want to make friends with the coyote? Yeah, make it. Oh, fuck up a coyote. Hell yeah, dude. Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah. She would have done what she was trying to do. Not really. Not a pack versus Mabel? I'm a little worried. But one on one, I think it'd be a good fight. I mean, let's go, too. I grew up with them.

21:25They're not told. In your house? Yeah, kind of. No, those were wolves. But no, I remember once I was trying to go to school one morning, and there were like three coyotes on the front lawn. And I had to go cross front lawn to get to the bus stop. And I opened the door, and they all three looked at me. And I was like, no, thank you. No, I had to get my dad to drive me to the bus stop. Wow, across the street. Shouldn't they have been afraid of you? Perhaps they were rabid. There were three of them. Elon Musk was tweeting about human rabies. Oh, good. What did he say? He posted something like that. He's like, I think we should stop vaccinating for that. I know. He posted some clip of some, I don't know, human rabies. What's the difference between having someone, and he's like, this is brain rabies or whatever, human rabies? Oh, like not actual rabies. Just could all racist Elon stuff. What the? It's so crazy that like he controls like the pipeline of information. Oh, well, he used to, he controls Twitter,

22:28which used to be like the best place to get information. Yeah, I don't know. What algorithm do you like the best? Where do you go for your, where do you find the most joy? Because I feel like Twitter. I stopped looking for joy. I know. Because to me, Twitter is like more of the dark stuff pops up there. Oh, it's that algorithm's brutal. I don't go on anymore. And it sucks because I got most of my work off of Twitter. I just can't even go on there anymore. Yeah, it's all like crazy, like violent videos and sadness and stuff. And like we're, I ran emailed me. Did you get an email from my RAM? Oh, you did? Like an actual email in your Gmail account? Hold on, I was going to read it to you. From Iran. Hold on. Oh no, okay, it's from Korah Digest, which I think is, is that good or bad? It's probably like a, it's, it's for old people. It's reddit for old people. That's me. I ran and started positioning. It's military, I ran and started positioning. It's military communication system,

23:30Sephir 110. It's an Iranian-made military communication system used for secure battlefield voice data and command coordination designed to resist jamming and electric warfare. So that's good. Oh, okay. And they emailed you that? Yeah, they were like, dear Karen, it's I ran. Yeah. If you were worried about our war communications going down, don't you worry about that. I mean, of course they've got it all set up. They're best buds with China, the people who make all tech ever. Yeah, I know. They probably have way better tech than we do. China banned only fans. Oh, they did. How much money did you lose? I mean, that's how my revenues coming from, but I do find it interesting. They banned it interesting to like protect the men or to protect the women. The morality code thing. They're acting like it's like, Oh, really? Because it's bad, bad for the bait. It's good, it's bad for morality, but it's good for morale. I mean, it's good for women. Yeah. I think they just don't want women to make money. They don't want women to make, yeah. Isn't it like now the number one way women make money in America?

24:30Is it? I think it is. I think it's like makes sense. It's the only place where women are upwardly mobile. My sister sent me, she just finished this book. What is it? Margot's Guide to Money or something. They're making a movie out of it with one of the fanings. Oh, L, I think, I think I think the young one. It's about some chick who got knocked up and then her husband left her and then she started in only fans and oh, oh, wow. Damn. The rest is history. The only fans, the movie. Yeah, only fans, the movie. We should make a movie, Tim. Do you think you'll ever stop making only fans' content? I kind of have. I mean, I do it like once or twice a month. That's not stopping. Where are you only doing it like four times a month already? Yes, I've slowed down even more. Where in the shirt came down like a... We sold one, right? Let's go! Whoo! Shirts, shirts, shirts. We have a new shirt.

25:32Yep. I saw it. It's very good. What does this say again? Good facts. Oh, right. Our good-fat shirt is on sale at our website. Yeah, I saw that clip. I was going to text you a very funny clip. Was it? Yeah. Thanks. Well, funny. I love the good-fats joke. Yeah, thanks. I wrote it. Oh, yeah, you did. Oh, yeah. I love making what a fat people. Oh, Karen. No, no, no. And you're so good at it. And I love Robert F. Kennedy Jr. That's still... Yep. Even now, even after he co-plunged in Dungarees with Kid Rock. Why does he wear jeans everywhere? It's so bizarre. It's just kind of 90s. He's just kind of in the 90s still. Yeah. With his boots and his jeans. I mean, the guy looks great with his shirt off. Are you watching Love Story? No. None of it? What's Love Story? The Carolyn Buscece? Oh, no. But I kind of want to. Yeah. You like it. I heard Darryl Hannah's furious about it. Well, she should be, because they did her a dirty day. She's always like...

26:33The thing is, she's notoriously like a really good person. Yeah. It was like incredibly intelligent and kind. Kind, humble. And hippy-dippy. Yes. And like, to the point where you're like, oh, I can't be remotely mad about how genetically blessed you are. Yeah. Well, she does have that weird thumb. But... Does she? I think she has like some kind of like weird thumb, but it's like it's like weird and short, but like, you would never notice because she's stunning, so like who the fuck is looking at her thumb? They... The portrait they paint of her is super shitty. Yeah. Like, she does coke off of the morgue. She's like, she even like, like, really says it when she's like, I never even done go. Why would they do that? It's... Well, the guy's getting a lot of heat. You know that other lady from the Real Housewives, the writer, Carol? I don't watch the Real Housewives like that, but I remember her. She was like an author. She was married to, like, they were like best friends, the two couples. Oh. This Carol chick, who the public figure was completely written out of a story, not a single mention of her, but her husband is in it all the time, like scenes with J.F.K. Jr.

27:33So I think her and the Ryan Murphy guy maybe butted heads in it like each other. I think she was against the project also too. I mean, leaving someone out of a storyline is like, find whatever you only have to so much time to like include, like, maybe she was in that pivotal, like, that's one thing. But like, saying somebody, like, did drugs and desecrated, like, memorials, what? They didn't give her a redeeming quality. They dated for five years. They were madly in love. They shared an apartment. Like, and you're telling me there's not one good thing about her. That's so wild. He loved her. Like, nothing. They just made her a whiny, obnoxious, like, um, feeling for press, like, type vibes. Which, like, wasn't her at all, right? No, she's chill. Like, I think, like, I, it's been so long since I remember, like, how she became famous. But like, she was doing like every other thing first. Oh, yeah. Fucking, um, what put her on the mat? Splash? Splash. I don't know. Oh, but even she, like, when she did steal Magnolia's, you know, she was supposed to play Julia Roberts' role.

28:33And she, even though that's the lead, she was like, no, I really want to try this smaller character. Because she, like, genuinely is not about the ego she's about, like, humility. They are in the craft. And she's like, I think this is a more challenging character for me. Well, that's cool. Right. Like, it's great. This is a Daryl Hannah appreciation. I, I fucking love that bitch. Like, I was pissed. When I saw the casting baroo to no value to that actress, but like, mean, like, because he was dating her in a prime, like, she was dating young Daryl Hannah. Like, she was a smoke show, like, and this, she's not, doesn't come close. Oh, yeah. Not nice. I mean, it's, it's going to be pretty hard to find someone who looks like Daryl, like, she's like a one of a kind beauty. Yeah. And so some, well, they cast Carolyn Bessette as, I mean, that actress is prettier than Carolyn Bessette was, like, they could have gone prettier. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Karen Bessette was no fucking Daryl Hannah. I agree. I mean, there are good shots of her and she does seem like cool and fun. And I like that she was like, fucking that model, like, the whole time that she was like in the beginning of their, oh, I have been seeing it. This is Daryl or Carolyn Carolyn Carolyn Carolyn.

29:36Carolyn, I don't know if I'd be friends with her. She seems like a type of person who would make me uneasy, but she's cool. Yeah. I think it's really cool. I'd be like, do you ever do this? And she'd be like, no. Yeah. She's one of those people who puts their food on like the top of the tines of the fork. Yeah. And puts it in backwards. I'm like, no, no, the fork's scooped for a reason, bitch. Like a shovel. Yes. The fork is shaped like a shovel. That is how it is used. They're like, no, no, you push the peas on the top of the fork. I'll never do that. Never. But what I did, I what had enjoyed was seeing pictures of JFK Jr. and my guy R.F.K. Jr. back in the day, shirtless. Oh, yeah. I love it, Kennedy. God. Give me some Kennedy. So wait, they had a different guy play, R.F.K. No, I'm talking about. So all of this like nostalgia is popping up now. All the real photos and stuff. Oh. They're infamous fighting the park. Carolyn and John, where she like pushes in and something yells at her. And the dog's there. I'm like, look at chill. You're front of the dog. The dogs were like, yeah, let's go. Let's go.

30:36We'll be dying in the plane crash. So do you know how the plane crashed? It was flying it and they were in some fog. Yes. But also supposedly, and this happens to something like 2% of pilots. And I forget where I heard this so it could be wrong. But he lost sight of and lost feeling of where the horizon met the sky. That's why you've always got to look at your instruments. Always got to look at your instruments. We say that every week here and only fans. You only fans all look at your instruments. Like, what instruments are you looking at today? Oh, I don't know. Check my instruments. Oh, I first put on the metronome so I get a sense of time. And you raise a good point because it shouldn't have little aircraft. Like my alcoholic uncle who died in a trailer, blah, blah, blah. He took us off in a little foreseater like that. And if he was able to do it, I feel like it kind of should have been able to master it. It's flight school 101 is you always check your instruments. Never trust your brain. So what do you think his ego just overrode the instruments?

31:36No, he was high on all that Hanukkah. He was too long. He was like, oh, I'll never come down. No, it's. He's like, we're flying into a vineyard. Who gives a fuck? He gives a fuck. Tiny Allen. Yeah, there we go on a Martha's Vineyard. Yeah, which is not a vineyard, by the way. Bummer. Bummer. No, that's not the fact that's not true. It's that I always assumed that it was Martha Stewart's vineyard. And it's not. Have you been? I don't know about the fact. But when I found out it wasn't true, I was upset. I was upset. Like, this isn't her vineyard or island. It should be. She doesn't even live there. Fuck Martha. I know. I knew a girl Martha. I went to college with who lived on Martha's Vineyard. I wasn't in Tucket. Not which is not in Tucket. Fuck. Details to come. At Mamon Bakery. Okay. I'm surprised I haven't talked to you. Have I talked to you about this? And Martha Stewart, like, line of drinks and baked goods? No. Fuck. Where's this? It's fucking me up. I just stare at them. I've only had one of the treats.

32:38Mamon? Mamon. She has, I think, like, a latte, a juice, a few different pastries. One of them is, like, a cinnamon bun filled with, like, like, this, like, lavender. I don't know. I love cinnamon buns. That's my, like, she's a bitch. That's my, that's my deathbed meal. Oh, I, one night, let's watch that Instagram reel about the sourdough cinnamon bun. Did you see that? I haven't tried it yet. I haven't tried it yet. Have you tried it? Where is it? I don't know. Let's get it right now. Let's get it. I couldn't find it. Couldn't have it delivered. So I was like, oh, I'll just find a real cinnamon bun. But please, I found online to order. It was a four-bun minimum. Order all these cinnamon buns. Yeah. I'm just on my couch. You need them all? I need them all. I tried them all. Yeah. Oh, there were different ones. Yeah, I didn't finish them all. But I certainly tried them all. Oh, it's just something home with Tim. I need to steal one. I fucking need it. I fucking need it right out of your trash. It's still there. I found out that the cookie at Carrot Express. Do you fuck with Carrot Express?

33:38What the fuck is Carrot Express? There's one in Bracelet. They sell cookies? I would have never guessed. I know. Well, that's what's annoying. Yeah. It's like wraps, juices, smoothies, yada yada, healthy, salads. And you're like, no, no, no, no. Cookie. My brain is like, love cookie. You're probably healthy too. Yeah. They're looking out for me. I eat it. And it takes me, you know, it's this big. It's a couple trips to eat. I go back. I revisit the cookie. I didn't just eat it in one sitting. Yeah. And I was like, let me just Google how many calories on it. It's just, you're not doing a good. 719 calories. Oh, it's like crumble. It's like crumble like that. Yeah. How big is it? The size of my head. Oh, yeah. Well. And that's so funny. The daily provisions, my other favorite place. They're crullers that I'm also obsessed with. And found them a lot more indulgent. And I was like, these are like, so what? They're not even fucking fully baked. Melting in my mouth. It's going to be a gazillion calories. 180. That's it. Because there's air. You got to count for the air. I'm going to breathe with no air.

34:39No air. I forgot what a good singer you were. Most people do. They forget. I mean, if we keep any of your scenes from tires, it's your career. Let's see. Ah. Do you even count calories? Do you give a shit? No. No. I like to. I don't care. I don't care. You work out 50 times a day. I know. But I'm like, you know, it's the workouts are always changing. I'm really into injury prevention now. So it's like, I'm really, I'm strength training, lifting heavy. Maybe like two, three times a week. But I'm only two. A lot of Pilates. A lot of yoga. Oh, she's gone back. She's gone back to her princess days. Yeah. That's like, is it feels like a vacation? Yeah, it's really nice. Yeah, all the Pilates people online are like, it's actually really hold hard to hold a two pound weight up for a long time. And I'm like, no, it isn't. Then don't. Like it's not doing what you think it's doing. So like everyone calm down. Super important. Like love how it grabs all the little muscles I ignore.

35:40But yeah, it's not the same as being under a fucking whatever barbell. Yeah. I think about. Fighting for your life. We went to bar class. And I'm like, oh, remember? What was it? Physique 57? Oh, I loved that place. It's going to our lunch breaks. Oh, yeah. That place. Not going back. I would see Kelly Ripa. And I would stare at her on the little news article. I'm like, Kelly Ripa, come here. Yeah. If there's anyone who's body, I want to emulate. It's a woman who counts her almonds. Oh, God. Yeah, she's going to blow away. I think, do you think she does like a GLP one? If she does, that'd be insane. Because she already has it so dialed in. She hits the exact same meal every single day. And does the exact same workout. And cannot, like, is terrified to change. It's like, if you ever watched them. I think it was, I forget, like Harper's Bazaar, Mary Claire, one of them. They did like a one night in the day of celebrities for a while. And she did one. And I remember everyone was like, like she talked about, she was like, and then I have this every day. And it was like, she gets herself a three chocolate covered almonds for dessert on a date. She's being bad.

36:40And I'm like, Kelly, fucking your life. That sucks. That sucks. That like, prison of your own creation. Like, just fucking, you know, don't eat lunch and have a real dessert once. Or like, if you have to compensate. You know what I mean? Like, the fact that like, no, when I indulge, it has to be this one. It's like, and you got nothing for your husband to grab. You know, he's like a Latino man. He probably wouldn't mind like a little. Do you think he's too perfect looking? Well, they did. I watched their house tour, too. And he's like, he's like a nothing bot. She's like the whole thing. She's the whole person now. Yeah. I think you cheat. I wouldn't risk it. What does he do? Consuelo? Mark Consuelo? He's her co-host. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, then I don't know. Probably just think that all wet and then cheat. Yeah, probably. Maybe all men cheat. I don't know. No, Tim would never cheat. He's online looking at porn right now. I'm looking up with Kelly Griffin. I'm looking up with Kelly Griffin. I'm assuming he's the right guy. Yeah.

37:40It's like, it's like bare fish cooked without oil. And it's like a four, like, measures the like, mound. And I'm like, just eat as much bare fish as you want, dude. Like, chill. It's like at what point like you're gonna be a grandma soon. Like what a go like she's on TV every day Mm-hmm like I get it. You know what I mean she's on TV every day. She doesn't want to change her wardrobe or whatever but what I'm Adderall I Think she's just like that. I could never be on Adder all I mean, I've only taken it recreationally, but I just feel if I was if I was if I was it feels different when you don't snort it Really? Yeah, no, I took it. No, I took it regular though. Yeah No So we can discuss what she eats. Yeah, I was speaking of Irene text me. I wonder what she wants Congrats Irene Morales and your engagement. Okay, um Kelly Ripa's day. Let's go morning a glass of water mixed with acid kicking green powder What is that followed by a coffee with grass-fed butter and an alkycelser? Yeah, no wonder you need an alkycelser You just had an

38:42Wait, what is alkycelser for like a stomach? Yeah, it's for acid reflux So I guess she's like high acid. I forgot microbiome is probably destroyed breakfast often skips or has a green apple with almond butter and cinnamon Lunch a large salad. I'm getting so hungry. It's making me so hungry a large salad with microgreens sprouts avocado and raw nuts Dinner that's the protein the nuts a smaller salad Stop it. It's what it says a smaller salad similar to lunch with steamed or grilled vegetables and protein e.g Tofu or fish so that's the first app. That's the first real protein source, but yeah Snacks small handfuls of raw nuts cashews almonds paseciacy. I told you dessert. Oh, this is gonna fucking break your heart This is this is gonna fuck over. I want you to guess what her dessert is. You told me the total covered almonds That it Three sips of air She holds her breath

39:44She paints her fingernails chocolate It's close. It's avocado chocolate moose suck a dick. Oh Kelly fuck that sucks. That sucks Imagine having all the money in the world. It's right. You're just like you're not allowed to eat anything You're not allowed to indulge at all. It's like the mightest touch But for even on vacation What is Kelly repeat on vacation? I guarantee you it's the same shit. I mean, I'm sure she probably stays the exact same hotels and all the people know her there and like when you're that when you're that much of a celebrity Like your life doesn't change at all when you travel right? You know I'm she she might even fly her chef around with her like who knows night time acid kicking ginger to merit tea and Supplements including CBD. Oh, let's get fucking crazy Getting rip-wiring high. She probably needs all this acid reflux. What who makes this phone case? I need a new one. Oh, I got it off of Amazon Yeah, I got it ordered on so many things filthy She's probably having so much acid reflux because she's eating nothing but like leaves or whatever that are just like ripping up her stomach. Yeah, it's brutal

40:52It's pretty. Kelly you need a car. You need a car. I have some press. I've been making this pasta dish Linguini lemon and Chovey Yeah, can I have some I don't I don't have any right now Yeah, we're going to a dinner party. We're going to a dinner party to sign an NBA About this dinner party. Yeah, my whole foot fell asleep God has your chance guys. You could do anything to her foot. She won't even know you could fucking drill a hole in my foot And I wouldn't feel it. Yeah, fuck right through the drilled hole. Oh god It's doing the pencil needle thing. It's coming back to life. So coming back. You know you have to do a stamp it hard on the ground. No, I don't Idiot You're just tapping it. Yeah, no, that's gonna hurt so bad Lordy, I got a four-sleep last night I was on Long Island with my boyfriend. How's he got in a real bed yet? Well, yeah, I sent him one

41:54I think I found my king size that he painted before it though. He painted for it. Oh, he did Yes, that's nice Well, we needed one because he's got this huge ass doberman this dog if I showed you a video this dog She wants to like be inside you. She's so affectionate her name scratch I woke up her paw was in my fucking vagina last night. Yeah, I was like Get out get out and she does. Oh, it sounds like he's saying scratch it scratch it I'm like my pussy No, but yeah, and then he had to get to his abs class this morning. Oh, he takes exercise classes too. Oh, cute Well, I'm a welcome member at LA fitness In among island. Yes, he showed out a hundred and eighty dollars so that I can come anytime I want for the year I was like cheap as hell. No fucking way. I'll say that's half what I pay a month Or my fucking well, yeah, you don't still have two gym memberships for no reason. Thank you. I have You just been more responsible financially. Oh, yeah, because you're only down to two videos a month. That's right

42:55You got to make cuts, you know, one gym membership. You got to be cuts. We're being frugal as hell 500 dollar gym membership 300. Oh, it's not bad. I know Especially considering when I break down the math a drop-in class and that's what I like I like the classes is 40 bucks in New York. Yeah, so say you take even two three a week What's 40 times three hundred and twenty dollars? What's 120 times four? Fourth eighty So I'm saving a hundred and eighty dollars on it is No, no So the way I see it I'm being paid one hundred and eighty dollars a month for my gym membership. They cost three hundred dollars. Oh Karen math It's time for Karen math. You need your own children's program. Yeah, kids This is how you can make a hundred and eighty dollars a month Yeah, he likes he takes app class from this guy named Rich Who's gay, but Sean accepts him

43:55Is that what he said? He's like, yeah, tell me uh, he's like tell me about this guy like his husband or whatever I'm like what you're fuck. I'm not a fucking. I'm not gay. Um Oh my god, I have to meet this guy. You're gonna be your mouse. You're jogging the other ground I had some of the stuff he said It's wild because mine is I'm like oh You love it. I love it if you're family 100% yeah, I'm like. Oh my god. It's like fucking this guy He's going to Massachusetts for the Seafood convention. Oh, yeah, Seacon And he's like you've never been a Seacon. I'm unable to attend. I'm gonna be at sound five this week. Oh great But he was like you can come. I don't know if you like it walk around. You know, you need some guys My hands to shake their hands You're like is this fucking quams She would say guy, you know, we got scallops He can it's just so fun. He can talk to yeah

44:56The at one time I was like we were away from each other and I put the phone on speaker and we were talking And then I just like was I knew the monologue he was about to rip into yeah I just slowly turn the volume down on my phone and fell asleep See I wish you could do that with a real person. Right. That's tough Does he repeat stories? Is he a story repeater? Yes brutal see and you're so in love you say that like so enthusiastically Can you imagine this for like six years now? No, I don't know That Okay, big guy Yeah, Tim would like Sean Aaron pottenham loved Sean. They got along. Oh, I bet yep the battle for airtime Can you fucking I bet do they even like receive each other's words or is it just like non two speaker spacing each other? They get they get such a cat of each other. Oh, yeah, and then they had one other person to like that Would they were kind of making fun of? Oh, and not really brought them together too. Oh, that's nice name names now. No

46:00I would I would feel bad. I'll tell you I would feel guilty if Karen feels guilty, then it's a really bad person. Just you know, no It's my road. I'm really into hailey. Oh, yeah me too. I love how she's not loved by her husband. Oh Brutal right. Oh, that's my favorite thing about her. She's so pretty and he hates her so much. He can't stand her I love it. She'll be hanging out like her face is like porcelain like the most gorgeous face in every person You have it stunning almost Darryl Hannah love almost Darryl And she'll be like draped over like going to kiss him on that and he's just like He's like you're not like my lupus X We'll get out of here bitch bitch. No, the light has gone out from his eyes and I don't think it's the drugs I think it's Bieber. I think it's I mean, I think it's his wife. Oh really? He hates her. He does It's really sad. I think he definitely she's I think he thinks she's corny even like when you listen to that song Like phone case with the lip gloss. She's iconic. I'm like, that's not iconic

47:01Yeah, putting lip gloss on your phone case. I mean you just put it on your face How would the products are good? I said I've rode wants to send me anything. I like the barrier cream. I like the glazing milk I bet you fucking do She knew what she was doing She was like well, you love me if I look like I've come all over my face and come he's like no Still no still no Yeah, I'm the prettiest girl. No Did you watch the um top model dog? Oh, yeah, I had to do it thought it was boring But still had to watch it. I know I was I'm on it more. I mean, I guess There was that one thing the J guy had a stroke. That was sad. Yeah, that was her big reveal He's been in a wheelchair the whole time. I'm like who cares. I've never seen that man walk in my life Oh, he was professional walker, but that was his whole thing even still It said it said cuz he seemed very fun. Oh, yeah, I just think tires crazy Um, what else? Anything else? What watching wise or just in general? What do you up to?

48:07What what's on the what's on the docket? What do you see in the future? Oh? House toe. Oh, I wish I could see in the future toes incredible. She's very soft What what I'm up to is this fucking lady. I'd spend I'm spending almost 40 minutes a day I'm in the face doing like fascia beauty fascia this woman and I'm telling you like she's like so So beautiful right and like her before picture is like, you know regular and her so like that blonde lady I know her, but it's so funny because she'll be like she'll you know like she'll be telling you what to do and I'll try and mimic her And then I'll look in the mirror to like see if I'm doing it right and I'll be looking her and then I look at my face I'm like oh It's like a fucking jump scare. I'm like Cuz you've been staring at this gorgeous woman for like 10 minutes straight and then I look at my fucking craggled old face I'm like oh god. I feel the same way when I wake up these jigs and Instagram and then I convince myself they're AI I mean they actually might be though. I don't know Oh, this is this is something though so uh I did like so I've been doing this for now. I've been doing it for nine days

49:09But I'd been doing it for six days and I went into my corner store to pick up some, you know fruit and the lady I talked to there It's not Tim Uh, thank you for getting my joke Yeah, I wasn't shopping in Chelsea. Call back. Call back. Not very good, but um So I go in and she's like You look so beautiful. What have you changed? And I was like and I'm good no makeup and I was like Nothing. I don't know and she was like she's like are you wearing makeup and I wasn't and I and I had to like lean and be like I'm doing these beauty videos And I felt like such a psycho show you start doing you put your fingers in your mouth She seemed like You actually do put your finger. I know. I know. I know. Oh my god. It's insane. I get in there. It's do you do it? Do you do it? I have a big watch girl though. I like being upside down like a bat and that and I convinced myself that I'm getting the fluids out through my head but That's what she's doing. That's what she wants you to do But you got to prepare your limbs first care in her. It's like not even worth it Yeah, I'm lock my shit. Yeah, who was I doing? Oh, oh, so I was at the bathhouse with Abby and I'm doing that in the sauna, right?

50:16I'm like unlocked. Yeah. I'm draining. I'm draining. Right. Yeah And I love Abby to pieces, but she's got some allergy. She's always like hawking. She's always got like no stuff Yeah, she's walking She's like I have a good thing for your nose You're not on clock your boogers and like killed it That's what anybody in a public sauna was doing. I'm not trying to snot rock it and then five minutes later I did burp and then Fred came up to me five minutes after that So we were laughing like do you think he heard you burp him was like I know that sound Turned in He's like that's the nasiast burp I've ever heard Abby struggles to stay in the in the sauna Why? Because she can't breathe Why do people struggle? I have a bunch of friends. They just like literally can't act. It's it's like a lot Because the blood starts to like enter your head and it starts to feel like my head's gonna explode if you're in there too long I'm like 15 minute. I do the prescribed time. Yeah, I tried and other people are just weaker than you. I guess

51:18Then I go right into the cold blunge And you're supposed to rinse off first and I don't the good Ha ha ha ha Mark your tear She comes up. There's like a film of That's like I'm that of oil after I'm done with it. Yeah, I mean if uh if Warner Brothers still had cartoons Modern era. Yes, it would just be Karen's skin this guy. Hey, that's he's like you're a fucking shot You go in there and you go in there and you go in there like that he's been watching you gross. Yeah It was like that's so you're telling me you've been watching me for 30 minutes at least That's what I'm picking up from this because you're watching my moves. Yeah Um, my thing is like why else are we going there? Like I like there's like oh this is the relaxation tub I'm like I have a tub at home that I can get to the temp that your tub your big tub that other people are pissing and shitting in or just sitting in like there's no benefit. Yeah Give me benefits or give me debt if I'm spending because the bathhouse it depends on what time you get there

52:21It can be $49 it can be $79 it depends on the peak hours really So if I'm spending and it's like when you get in once you get in it's unlimited You know, I think we went it eight last time. It was like 80 bucks. I'm like, hey, I'm staying for at least 90 minutes Be I didn't think of a B before I started that and see Give me benefits or give me death What do you advise us such a high-stress scenario as you going into a shower Like you're like I can't imagine anything more crucial than going from hot to cold It irritates me that people go there and spend the money and don't get the benefit. They're there to hobnob with famous only fans Those are the benefits That's where friends are the people you meet the people the friendships you make. Oh, yeah If you're not at the Soho House meeting Indian nepotism kids then what are we doing in New York City? What are you doing? That's all I'm saying if you're not going to Casa chip riani and sharing an ice cream so that way you can meet Robert new ball

53:27Then why be alive Maybe agrees maybe she's like thank you for saying that she's like if you're not hovering by the ice rink shack to meet the coyotes Then why are you on eighth look? Remember the river was all ice all melted now All right, thanks for listening Good podcast You can catch me on Great hang with Mike and Tim producer Tim McLaughlin and I you can catch that on YouTube Please follow and subscribe even if you don't watch it, but you will because we're pretty fun I call Tim a racist tack on the most recent episode. So you'll definitely want to check out why Uh Where you can follow me on uh social media at m y k a f o x and I still have no only fans for some reason at the underscore fox underscore hole hole spelled with a zero to make the whole bigger let's go Um, so this weekend I'm uh in Austin at South by I don't know what I'm doing there. Maybe some podcasts I'll be at the mothership uh doing spots and then the net following weekend March 20th

54:33I will be at the contrarian theater in St. Louis That was a make-up date and then um all april 24th I will be at jokers in tenisee and april third i'm at dojo in new jersey and morse plans dojo love the dojo And I think that's it and I think that's it Watch the toxic avenger now on screen box the radioactive superhero that certified fresh on rotten tomatoes is available to watch now From the comfort of your home bloody fm listeners get a special introductory offer by going to fit.ly slash toxic fm That's bit.ly slash t o x i e fm for a special offer on screen box Sometimes you gotta do something