#214 Farts, Lies & Questionable Lyrics

I want to start this episode off with a really, really, really sad and upsetting story, so I don't know if you want to start the app, because you know how you win to me all the time.

Because you always like, I've got a really quick story and then you're like, chapter 17.

This is quick, but it might have a side quest.

We'd wait for it, just be safe.

Welcome back to Two Dating Dads.

I am Adi J.

And I'm Ash.

And this is a podcast all about parenting.

It is the good, it is the bad and the relatable and no advice will ever be given.

Yes.

Hit me.

As you know, not drinking.

I filled that void with food.

A lot of Uber Eats on the best customer.

Would you ever look at how much you spend per year on the app?

It's dangerous, right?

Look, this year's so far.

And it'd be like the casino going, do you want to see how much money you've put into the slot machine?

I didn't see the dollar amount, but I've seen the amount of orders.

Do you want to just know that really quick?

Yes.

When I looked at it, it was 68 this year.

That's pathetic.

And the amateur numbers.

What do you mean?

How many days have there been this year?

How many weeks?

What do we, March?

So...

Three months.

Round up, three times four is 12, 12 weeks.

That's like every, there's 20 days of the year that so far that I haven't had Uber Eats with dinner.

What's Matt's number?

Yeah, what's yours?

So I need to find out.

Hey, that's not a story.

So the story is related to that.

I told you there'd be a side quest a long way.

I was recently in Melbourne, and I ordered Uber Eats for dessert,

because in the mini bar at this hotel that I was put up in...

No chocolate.

Nothing good.

Like if there's not a dairy milk in a fridge in a hotel, throw the fuck...

What's the point of having the fridge?

I think you shouldn't underestimate how good just a plain old dairy milk is.

Especially when there's no kid going, give me some.

You're on your own, nice, peace and quiet, a nice piece of dough.

They just had like two...

Just what's the point of having the fridge?

You guys see me?

So I ordered...

Would you get it?

I ordered from a Coles Express where I can't remember what it was.

I wanted ice cream.

I was like, I don't want to ice cream.

So I looked and they had on sale...

They had the banjaries, which are their little tubs.

It's not enough for big daddy over here.

And I was like, okay, I need balls and that.

And then I saw they had the on special like a blue ribbon

or something like that.

That was just a leader.

And I was like...

That's the leader.

But I was like, I'm here for three nights,

and I can put it right in the back of the freezer bit of the fridge.

There was a freezer bit.

That was my next question.

Yeah.

I thought you were going to have to burn through this in one sitting.

I wish.

But it's not like a proper freezer.

You know, are you chewing gum?

Sorry.

Wow.

Three years.

So I let it.

Oh!

That's my commitment to you.

That's me.

That's never coming out.

If that's true, I'm just full of you.

I'm just...

You know, they say you're like 90% water.

The other 10% of me is chewing gum.

Extra.

It's just extra.

Not a sponsor.

Not a sponsor.

And I was like, okay, put it in the freezer.

But it's not a full freezer, as you know.

But I thought, I'll keep it at a nice temperature

that it'll still be edible.

And it came.

And unfortunately, it was already melted.

So I had...

I couldn't do anything.

It was...

And if you ever had, you know, an ice cream's like a nice melted

and you're like, like a bottom of a bowl and it's like...

Yeah, lovely.

Lovely.

No, it was like sludgy vanilla sludge.

Well, hang on, did you complain?

No, I just had to tip it out and move on with my...

I told you it was going to be a tragic story.

Wow.

I'm so sad.

I was so sad.

So wait, did you have both?

We're gone?

No, I just...

Did you get...

Sorry, can I just confirm, was it the white ribbon?

White ribbon?

Or was it the Ben and Jerry's?

No, I only got the white ribbon

because I thought I'm going to be every couple days

I can just ration it.

And you didn't get the Ben and Jerry's?

I didn't get it because I thought I'll get the bigger one.

Savvy was on sale.

And it turned out and it was fully melted already.

So I couldn't salvage it.

So I got no ice cream.

That is a sad story.

That is a very sad story.

That's the life I live right now.

I'm so sorry you've had to go through that.

You've been holding on to that story as well for a long time.

I just remembered it.

So what did you just go to bed?

I went to bed sad.

I'm still sad.

You jerked off to me, yeah.

I poured it down the sink and I thought...

You didn't drink it?

No, it was just...

It was past nice melted.

How does it get?

Because they take it out of the freezer.

Something's happening.

Someone's put it on the shelf

or where they got it from.

I reckon they're like, just get it from the shelf.

Oh!

It just...

Todd, you'd be like...

If I was you...

I want you to do this.

You love complaining on a beach.

No, I think...

It's like if you order a coffee and it's half spilled...

You are deserved...

Yeah, but it's there.

Who?

The thing is...

It's a melted ice cream.

You deserve more than that.

I was in a summer, but I don't know.

Okay?

I was outnumbered.

By who?

The people.

They'll tear it on me.

I don't know who to complain to.

They're like, that's the guy.

I didn't know it's cream guy.

Get him!

I didn't know who would be at fault.

I don't want to accuse the wrong person.

That's just mean.

You mean the delivery driver?

Yeah, I don't know.

He might have been really quick,

but the guy at the shop was slow.

I don't know.

Look, not to make this a very sad episode,

but I have some sad news.

Oh God!

Yes.

So, Rhonda, for people who are joining us,

she is my neighbour.

The general.

The general.

The...

At times, it was a little bit tricky to live next to.

I'm not going to sugarcoat it.

I'm not going to pretend like it was, you know,

one big happy relationship.

Rainbows and butterflies.

She pissed me off.

We had our moments.

Yes, they were happier times, but for the most part.

Rip the band-aid off, Matthew.

She's passed away.

Oh.

Happened last week.

On Wednesday.

I'm going to miss her staring at me entering your house.

It is so strange right now.

Every time I put something in the bin,

she had her front window,

and she would always be standing there,

and I'd glance up, and she'd just be there.

She's just looking at me.

And I now, like last night,

I put something in the bin,

I look up,

and I just expect to see her standing there.

But...

When I see you again,

Whoa!

Yeah.

That's a moment for Rhonda.

There it is.

So, shout out to my neighbour,

who messaged me,

and was like, hey, I think we should check on Rhonda.

Her blind is normally up,

always in the beginning of the day,

and it's been down for a couple of days now.

And also,

I put her bins out.

I'm not a hero.

I'm not a hero,

but I will say that.

I put her bins out every Monday.

And a couple of times,

I've forgotten,

got to three o'clock in the afternoon.

She's got a bad hip.

But she would go,

oh, Matt's not going to do it.

I will do it.

And then I got home on that Monday.

At six o'clock,

and her bin wasn't out.

And I thought, oh, that's a bit weird.

Rhonda would have put it out by now.

But I was jumping into a record of another podcast.

Sorry.

I do.

And I said,

I think you should do the welfare check.

Finish the record.

Tell my phone on.

Was the message she's passed away.

Oh.

It's very sad.

No family.

No friends.

No one.

The police were like,

she had a manager.

She had me,

but I wasn't there.

So they got in my neighbor.

You've got to come and identify the body.

And my neighbor's there with her kids going,

I don't know if I'm in a position to do that.

It's any cue there.

And they were like,

will you got it?

That's not not.

What do you mean I got it?

I have rights.

Well, I was like,

surely she would have had the glass.

I don't know.

Something we don't have to just drag in the neighbor

to look at the dead body,

which is quite traumatic.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But she was like,

okay, let me just put something on the TV for the kids.

Went next door and I was like,

yeah, that's Rhonda.

Oh.

Yeah.

And the cop was like,

this is my first dead body.

And she was like,

what the fuck?

They all lost their virginity all in one foul swoop.

Thanks Rhonda.

No, I came home and I was like,

sorry about that.

Dodge it all.

Nana was like,

I would have done it.

Hi.

Nana's ruthless, though.

She's like,

she's like,

is it still cold?

Oh, my God.

I shouldn't laugh.

We shouldn't laugh.

How was the,

are you allowed to tell what,

how she died and what circumstances were?

Well, the good thing is,

she didn't fall.

It wasn't as if she'd taken a tumble

and she couldn't, you know,

rage the phone and get help.

Apparently when you were about to pass,

I don't know if they just say this

seemed less traumatic.

But when you're about to pass,

your body instinctively wants to go to the bathroom.

So she in the middle of the night got up on the toilet

and then went on the toilet.

So she was still sitting up in a nighty.

So it was like a pleasant way to go.

She was dead on the toilet.

She was sitting on the toilet.

She was still there,

leaning against the wall.

Yeah.

So it wasn't a traumatic way to go.

And she did say,

I remember,

she said to Laura,

I was born in this house.

I would like to pass in this house.

So she got a wish.

Wow.

You got a wish.

And now we're trying to,

so we're trying to hunt down,

apparently there's a cousin.

Trying to hunt down the cousin.

No one knows who this cousin is

because she was very much

a person who kept to herself.

And I had a neighbor up the road

who's a lot older.

And I thought she might know who the cousin is.

And so I said,

excuse me,

truly quickly,

do you know Ronda's cousin?

And she's like,

what's happened to Ronda?

And as I was about to say,

Marley and Laura come down.

And I was there going like,

you know, like,

wink, wink, wink.

She's fine.

And she goes,

something's happened to Ronda,

hasn't it?

And I was like,

what in God?

And then Marley and Laura were like,

what's happened to Ronda?

And in the moment,

I didn't want to say,

she's passed.

So I said, she's moved.

Just stand on the toilet.

There he is.

Ashwick.

Thank you.

Settle as a sledgehammer.

I said, she's moved house.

And Marley was like,

oh my God.

She's moved house.

You shouldn't tell us.

And I was like,

what the fuck?

I was like,

Marley,

you haven't seen her for like a year.

And she was like,

I can't believe she's always so kind to me.

Did she yell at Marley last night?

Yeah, I was like,

she threw a shoe at you, Marley.

You forgot to climb in the tree.

You just said,

yeah, she's silly.

That's how I relate to her.

That rascal.

And then for a few days,

I kept the lie of she moved house going

until this morning I said,

hey kids,

she's up in heaven.

And Marley was like,

oh,

I was like,

how much I love that than her move?

Yeah, I was like,

I can't,

if I can't enjoy a no one game.

Wow,

Paul Ronda,

let me ask you this though,

before you do go,

you instinctively

your body wants to evacuate.

This is what the coroner said.

Okay,

they are educated to be coroner.

You can't just go,

I'm a coroner.

I think you do have to do

some level of study.

Let's hope so.

To be a coroner.

Yeah.

Is it the people that couldn't quite

work on a live bodies?

Okay.

I don't know how many coroners

listened to this episode?

This podcast?

But were they rural?

No.

Let me ask you this.

Would you much rather

evacuate you bowels

then die or die and then

evacuate you?

I would honestly,

I feel like I would

be embarrassed.

I would want to go to the toilet

before I died.

I don't want like April.

Well, you talked about Macy

having a poo that was in the toilet

for three days.

I don't, you know,

I would hope that I don't go

because I don't want people to go

like, oh, there's Matt.

Ooh, it stinks.

Yeah, I don't want to be like,

April would be like,

hey, walking on the

seam rig and I've

shit myself and died.

Yeah.

That's way worse.

I think that's still

giving me the ick.

I think that she's like, oh,

I can't believe I married this

man.

Oh, my God.

Come on.

Come on.

That's just what happens though.

Kids, that's not your real

father.

Okay.

So, Tyrande, this episode

is dedicated Tyrande.

Oh, wow.

The whole app.

The whole app.

Yeah, that's fair.

Death goes for a whole app.

What do you got for me?

You were spotted in the

wild recently.

You soccer?

You did attend a

soccer game.

And then someone said to me,

they just sent me a message

with no context.

And it said, hey, are you at

the Matilda's too?

I was like, fuck.

And then I remembered that

you were there.

Yeah.

I was like, nah, nah, I'm at

home and then I just get a

photo.

I was like, oh, there's a

photo.

So, someone sent me a photo

of you.

I've been papped.

You've really reduced your

comedic, you comedy down to

just photo bombing people.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh.

It's going to be nice selfie

Matt's like, not on my wall.

No, because it was like right

after the national anthem.

And there's a couple in

front of me at the football.

I was like admiring, you

know, what like the

presentation of the teams

and the trophy and.

You looked disappointed.

And then, and then, and then,

next second, I realized that

the couple in front of me

are taking a selfie.

And I perfectly fit into the

gap between them.

And then, and then, and then

and then, and then, and then,

and then, and then, and then,

and then, and then, and then, and then,

and then, and then, and then, and then,

And then the next photo, I realized, and I leap out of the way.

Oh, honestly, the next one. I just got that one.

What about the fools that just get that from a random light?

Oh, that's good gear.

I got that like 7 AM in the morning.

Shout out to the dealers.

Yeah, that was great.

Shout out to the Matilda.

Hey, that's it.

Are we in housekeeping?

Are we in housekeeping?

Do you celebrate your school on the Northern beaches?

How many day?

Yeah, there's like where you wear a touch of orange.

That's a very simple rule.

What do you got?

Well, how many day for us was the least harmonious day for the parents?

We were freaking the fuck out.

Well said.

We had multiple people panicking in the group chat for the parents, being like, what day

is it?

Like Friday, people were like, I'm just going to send my child with orange in their

back.

Back just in case.

And people were like, it's Monday.

Monday is how many day?

How's it Thursday?

Why was yours Thursday?

I don't know.

I feel like it's all made up.

But how's it Wednesday?

Yours is Wednesday?

Okay.

We need an investigation.

Why did you get aligned on this?

Because parents were like, it's on a Sunday.

It's book way call over again.

And they were like, what colors do we wear?

And people were like, orange.

And then someone's like, you can also wear yellow.

People were like, is purple included?

No, Bethany.

It's not.

It's orange or yellow.

There is nothing harmonious about purple.

Get her out of the group chat immediately.

Why are we being so stringent with the rules of what colors to wear on how many day?

Why don't we just say any color?

People just need to relax.

And then a kid was wearing black, and he was being escorted out of the funeral.

It's like, I'm going to run this funeral after this.

Shut up, Timmy.

Oh, God.

It was the fucking...

There must have been 50 messages in the group chat about what colors are you allowed to wear?

And not allowed to wear it harmonious.

It was just orange.

But then we didn't have any...

Tell me, find me a parent that has orange in the fucking wardrobe.

Macy has a...

She's blue or pink.

Well, that's the thing, right?

Oh, God.

That's the thing, right?

There's no effort in blue or pink.

There's effort in orange.

Why are we making parents go into more effort?

Why are we making life...

To show that we care about the harmony of this world, Matthew?

We care about giving fucking money.

That's the caring.

You get your money.

That's for the charity.

Don't fucking make us jump through who?

Wait, you gave him money?

We have to give a gold coin.

Okay.

That's lovely.

Thank you.

That's a nice element.

What do you know how much do we give?

What color can the coin be?

$10, $5,000?

Does it have to be gold?

What about two silvers?

Two silvers make a gold?

I don't know.

It's a minefield.

We're all intelligent people.

But there are most simple little tasks in days.

Just a chain reaction of panic amongst the parents.

Oh, yeah.

It's like book week.

It's a book day, book week, book month.

What is it?

And then someone was like, last minute.

They were like, don't forget the assembly, which is today.

They're singing the harmony song.

And I was like, what?

And I was like, Marley, have you been learning a song?

And she's like, yeah.

And I'm like, don't know if you're lying or not.

Yeah.

She's always singing something.

Yeah, yeah.

I just opt out of the group chat.

Well, Laura's going to school at 230 for this assembly.

Today.

I'm like, it's not in the newsletter.

And I didn't want to message in the group chat.

I'd be like, is there an assembly?

But Laura's like, all right, I'm going to the assembly at 230.

She just said a win.

And a win.

Well, because Marley said she's learned a song for assembly.

Oh, and an update on this.

She'd just be Marley singing.

But then when you have assembly on how many day on the Monday,

why are we splitting it?

I don't know.

There's a board out the front of our school

that has like what's happening.

It's been on there for a while.

Would you call it a notice board?

Is that a thing?

It's a light up.

Oh, it's got lights.

Yeah.

Oh, must be nice.

Wow.

There's a casino in the school.

But it's said harmony day.

It's said harmony day for weeks.

I think they're just milking it.

They're like, we just put this on the board

and people give us money.

Let's do this every day.

Yeah.

No.

I'll put them.

Also, the fucking poor kids.

Well, you've got poor kids who rock up.

There's one parent.

As I was getting off the bike to get the girls in the school

and the parent looked at me shocked.

And then I looked down.

And her daughter is wearing a school uniform.

And her daughter is like in panic as well.

In panic mode.

And Marley and Lola are like, what's wrong?

Why are you wearing the uniform?

And then the parent was like, oh, it's okay.

I'm sure there's heaps of clothes in there

that you'll be able to find and put on.

And I was like, I know.

I'm after so Oscar had a Mufti day, right?

Which, if you don't know her Mufti days,

we, whatever you want.

We're the gold coin donation for charity.

And I was, it was Oscar's first one.

And I was like, hey, I'm going to put a school uniform

in your bag in case you want it.

And he was like, you're not allowed.

And I was like, what do you mean?

I was like, you know what I don't like

when people tell me what to do.

So I'm going to put two uniforms in your bag now.

He was like, oh, fuck.

You're not allowed.

It's Mufti.

I was like, but I was like, but just in case

just in case, don't do it.

You get me in trouble.

I'm like, you fucking, yeah.

Okay, whatever.

What?

Who was speaking to Oscar?

I don't know, man.

I don't know where he's getting.

Probably from that light up board.

The light up board.

You will die.

You will die if you bring uniform in.

I was like, where the uniform will send?

I put it in there because I put it in there.

I put it in there because I don't trust him.

I'm like, what?

I'm like, what?

I'm like, what?

I'm like, what?

I'm like, what?

Like, what?

I don't know what to believe in you, boy.

That's the faith in your child.

I know why it's hard.

He's like a liar.

I'll get to that shortly.

But I didn't want him to get there and just by chance,

his mates are in school uniform or whatever.

And then he feels left out that he's got a school shirt.

That's a very considerate approach from you.

I was being considerate and I got met with...

That's a crime.

You're going to jail for this.

Maybe it's...

Anyway.

Can I just quickly wish my wife what's not yet her birthday?

No, it will be.

Sorry.

Jesus.

What's the date?

Oh, I do know.

It's March 26.

There he is.

There he is.

Thank you.

There he is.

Laura has turned 40.

She's the big four zero.

Very hard to buy for my wife.

1996.

Wow.

You know what she did?

She looks great.

People are calling me in a panic.

Like, friends, families.

She looks great.

Sorry.

She's...

Thank you.

She does look great.

Carry on.

Also, I hope she doesn't mind me saying this.

She's like, I can finally treat myself to some Botox.

So she's...

Is that...

Not loud, Vic?

She's never had Botox?

No, no, she's had...

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah!

She's got an at home kit.

I think you're...

Because she's been breastfeeding.

Can you breastfeed me?

She's no longer breastfeeding.

Did you get injected into her boobs?

What?

You can't put chemicals into your body when you're breastfeeding.

Ah.

She's...

I want now.

That's marketing.

Moving on.

Go.

Come on.

So...

I'm a conspiracy theorist now.

Yeah, Laura does look great.

I will say that.

She looks fantastic.

You don't need it.

But people don't know what to buy for Laura.

She is a very particular taste.

And also, I don't know where she was like, I've got myself an aura ring.

And I was like, well, firstly, those things are fucking there or fake.

Well, I waited to let you aura straight away, bro.

Oh my god.

I'm in the back.

But I was like, I could have bought that for you for your present.

And she's like, I just bought it.

And I was like, you've burnt things in a fucking week.

I do that all the time.

Like, you have pointy end now.

Your birthday is seconds away.

And you want something.

Fucking tell your friends and tell me what you want.

No, buy it for you.

I'm a shocker for that.

April is always like, I can never buy you anything because you've already bought it.

Yeah.

I'm like, oh, I had to.

I was like, who are adults?

Like, what adult is like, oh, I can't wait to get my toy car.

Like, we want something.

We just, sorry, I was not a digger at you guys.

Wow.

Fuck you.

All right.

Now I feel a bit better.

Just say fuck you.

Go.

Yeah.

But fly the toy car, Laura.

And then I feel like people are going to be like, what are you getting Laura?

I've got a, I've got a day plan.

Ooh, do tell.

Just like, we'll go to the gym and then we'll, oh god, god.

Terrible, Laura.

From out of you.

Now that's what you want.

You should never have time to go to the gym.

We never have time to go together.

And then we go, go for some of icebergs.

They go, have a nice lunch.

That's lovely.

Thank you.

Thank you.

And then we have planned on the third day.

I think that's pretty good.

I did accidentally book in work on that Thursday that I've had to like, oh, I've also got

a fucking haircut book to you which I need to cancel.

Okay.

Is it your birthday or hers, bro?

Seriously, you just straighten yourself to work in a haircut.

You love that style.

So happy birthday, Laura.

Yes.

Happy birthday, Laura.

Will we ever get out of a housekeeping in the set or so?

I don't know.

Let's get out of here.

Well, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

We've had this sitting there.

Let's do diplodocus.

Okay.

And I just really quickly, from Anna, she says, hey, guys, love the podcast and have been

listening from the start.

Thank you, Anna.

Asher's recent talk about dinosaurs reminded me of when my son was only a few years old

and had trouble saying one of the species names incorrectly.

Take a listen to this.

What's it called?

Declostonzo.

Declostonzo.

Not the declostonzo.

It's a declostonzo.

I love that.

They're extinct.

Yeah.

It's a declostonzo.

I love that.

They're extinct.

It's a declostonzo.

Declostonzo.

Declostonzo.

Declostonzo.

Declostonzo.

Declostonzo.

Declostonzo.

Declostonzo.

Declostonzo.

Okay.

She's like, what?

What?

It's a declostonzo.

That's good, yeah.

That's one of those things that when she does funny say it correctly, you'll be like, oh.

Yeah, you'll miss it.

You'll miss it.

Yeah.

It's a dinosaur.

She's like, oh, I'm just going to have a sweep.

Sleep.

I'm like, oh, she's spanked.

Oh, and she starts pronouncing L.

You're like, it's a lever.

I know.

Wego.

Like, wego.

Oh, God, that's the best.

Don't you want to miss that?

Anyway, but that's good.

Look, honestly, dinosaurs are hard to pronounce.

Diplodocus.

You know when they do concussion tests and like, where are you?

They should just go pronounce this dinosaur.

Yeah.

You can say, he's fine, put him back on the field.

Yeah.

Yeah, we have some breaking news.

Lovely comments, Vic, about the huge Rita voice.

Yeah, we should get a jingle.

We should do like a-

I think that's already taken by ABC.

Not that version.

Can I ask Vic, how long does it take you to find these

breaking news articles?

This one came across my desk.

My news desk.

And it was one of those headlines you can't unsee.

So I thought, hmm, this is a good one for the boys.

Correct, correct, correct.

Also, I love how she's already slipping.

breathe, yeah, she's just-

She's getting a big head because of all the compliments.

I think Ash is going to enjoy this one.

What's that supposed to mean?

You'll see.

Women's farts smell worse than men's, according to a new scientific study.

Not louder, not more frequent, just stronger.

In the study, men produced more volume, but women's gas contained a significantly higher

concentration of hydrogen sulfide, the compound behind the classic, rotten egg smell.

But they found the hydrogen sulfide was also linked to higher brain signaling.

So a smellier fart could just be the body's way of helping the brain.

April has some strong farts.

I love it.

That was the word that was used.

It was like, yes, they don't.

They're stronger.

I don't want to throw the law under the bus.

She farted a lot when she was pregnant.

Wow.

Remember when we talked about her, admit the silent fart being a hot sigh?

I do think mine smell.

Law of farts more often, but she hers don't smell.

I have the opposite in our family where I think the more you hold it, the more it stinks.

And when April does let one out, it's fested.

Oh, God.

Sorry, babe.

Babe, I'm so sorry.

But you think.

Did you do it in front of you?

It's always an accident.

Mine are very intentional.

Loud and frown.

Do you fart in front of your husband, Vic?

Uh, yeah.

I'm never going to be able to look at you this time ever again.

I know.

And then who would you say has it smelly fart?

Actually, I did a poll because I knew this story was coming up.

So I put it up at the dinner table last night and I was like,

With the kids?

Yeah.

And I was like, oh, who do you think, yeah, who do you think has the smelly farts?

Mommy or daddy?

And they were both like, oh, my God, this is the funniest thing we've ever spoken about

in the table.

This is good kid.

And they said daddy, but I think because they love me so much.

Oh, okay.

But Dan would 100% say minor words.

Yeah, yeah.

I think, honestly, I think women stink my more.

But fun fact in my research, humans pass gas up to 23 times a day.

Wow.

That's the amateur numbers.

What age do you just not have any control?

Because I remember my grandmother made she rest in peace years ago.

She'd just be walking past and just drop one like, oh, never.

And not even fucking register.

It happened.

Do you not know?

Or are you just like, oh, fuck it.

I've lived long enough now.

I'm not.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Is the brain signals just slow?

Like by the time they're like, oh, the farts coming, I'm already standing there looking

at my mum being like, what the fuck was that?

And she's like, oh, whatever.

Like, yeah, the delay response.

Or maybe her.

Is that me?

Her sphincter is just like so exhausted out.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

I think it's that.

Wow.

Is this like fast and loose?

The last hole is an amazing part of the body.

It is a lovely bit of an enemy.

It is.

It's just so many uses.

Never mind.

I feel like we all know each other better after this segment.

I would say if you really want to bond with people, talk about your farts.

My sister's family.

Shout out to my sister.

Oh, she's going to love it.

They don't fart or burp before each other.

Oh, God.

I just had child trauma.

Why?

Okay.

All right.

I'll tell you a story.

Get her.

Gather around the farts.

Kids, I'll tell you a story.

When I was a child, maybe a little bit older than Oscar, I was in a friend's car.

I was in the back with him.

Yep.

And I remember it was a burp, not a fart.

I burped and the mom lost it.

At you.

Anyway, I was banned from their house.

Oh, my God.

Banned from being friends with that kid.

She was just waiting for anything.

She just must have hated me.

And she's like, here it is.

This is me.

I remember she gave me a dressing down about it and I'm like seven and I was like, fuck

you.

No, you must have been a naughty kid.

You sneezing.

She's like, get the fuck out of the car right now.

That's what it was like.

We're on a highway.

Shut up and get out.

Open the door for us.

It changed me.

She actually shamed me in front of the, in front of the rest of the family.

Oh.

Yeah.

This took a turn, didn't it?

Yeah.

Did it work though?

Sometimes a little bit.

No, baby.

What?

I'm just walking right up there.

I dropped my guts and left.

I dropped my guts and left the car promptly.

I actually never spoke to that kid ever again.

Wow.

Yeah.

Well, that's bad parenting.

Fuck you, Jeremy.

Oh.

No.

No.

No.

I'm sorry.

No.

And that's breaking news.

Yeah.

That's all your time.

That was great.

Thank you.

Hey, speaking about habits.

Ash.

Yes.

My child has picked up the worst habit ever.

What's Oscar doing?

I'm batting with Oscar at the moment.

Yeah.

He's recorded and you're fucking...

Just once he done.

OK.

The situation is that I feel like he's picking up bad habits

from school, which he's going to do.

They're like, you know, kids are so easily influenced.

They're going to pick stuff up.

Trying to raise Oscar to be the good boy.

The good boys finish first.

I want you to be a good boy because you've got a little sister.

And he's obviously going to be boys.

There'll be boys and pick up things.

But he started to like fib to me, which is like...

I wouldn't quite put them in the category of lies

or like a lie is like quite an embellishment of something

that just blatantly didn't happen.

But I feel like a fib.

Is this on par with his fibbing as an example?

Miley picked up the baby with the mom and dad.

Yeah.

There you go missing so easily, you know,

and they're fucking expensive as well.

And she was playing with it.

I said, put it back in the little bowl that we have

or like the random stuff in.

And she...

What is it?

It's a family filing cabinet.

She put it under the TV cabinet.

And I said, don't put it there.

It's not where it was.

And she goes, yeah, that was there.

And I said, no, it wasn't.

It's in the bowl.

I saw you get out of the bowl.

And she goes, yeah, you got me.

Yeah, yeah.

So it's that kind of thing.

Kind of like that.

Like, I'll just give you what happened this morning.

Please.

Right.

So I was just a very sweet boy.

He can be...

But he has a nasty streak in him where he'll just...

Like, just things that don't need to be said.

So like, I was gonna read something for him.

But I was also like holding it up to read it.

But listening to it, April was also telling me at the same time.

So I was just waiting.

And the delay, he went, well, can't you read.

And I was like, fuck, that's mean.

Like, I'm doing your favor, bro.

For the record, you're a great reader.

Thank you.

I actually know.

But I can read what this was.

And I was like, okay, well, hang on.

I was trying to separate the situation.

And I was like, hey, can you just go to your room for a sec?

Well, I finished it with mum and I'll...

You know, like, that's not very nice.

I didn't like it.

It just got me off side.

And then I went and saw him.

And I was talking to him.

I was like, like, why did you say this?

Like, I didn't.

And I was like, okay, all right.

Stop.

You fucking said it.

Because you said it to me.

And I've got two ears that work, I think.

Were you like, did he look like a fan?

I was like, I went back to the house.

No, no, no.

No.

It's evidently...

No, you've got me questioning everything.

No, eight.

And I said...

I said, you heard that, right?

Yeah, I was bringing witnesses.

I was like, may she was like, well, trial.

I was like, did he or did he not send us?

He was like, sustain!

I object!

Anyway, he...

I was like, what the fuck is going on in the store?

That's like seven o'clock in the morning guys.

Chill out.

You got a towel.

And I said, okay, I was like, back it up.

You said it.

No, I didn't.

I said, don't lie to me.

I was just getting frustrated.

And I was like, hey, don't...

I said, lie is...

You're in the same category here.

Don't lie to me.

You can tell me whatever you want to tell me.

You said it.

Just agree that you said it.

No.

And I'm like, this...

This is ridiculous.

And I left him.

I said, just have a minute to calm down.

Bring...

Everyone needs to come back down.

What's recess?

Hit the gap.

And then I...

I was going to the room and spoken to him.

And I was like, she was like, just let him regulate himself here.

Because this is weird.

Because he...

He definitely said it.

And I caught him lying the other day.

So he's obsessed at the moment with Pokemon cards,

because it's making a resurgent, as is his dad,

because I am a child.

And I have some expensive ones that I have, and I've kept.

And sometimes he wants to look at them.

And then I was like, you can look at them,

but don't take any out.

And he was like, yeah, okay.

And I trusted him, because he's my son,

and I wanted to trust him.

But I caught him taking them out.

And then I said, hey, I told you not to do it.

Did you take this out?

He said, no.

I said, so it just walked out on its own.

And then I said to him, all right, fine.

But just so you know, do not take things from me, man.

Do not steal from anyone.

It's the wrong thing to do.

Tried to say, look, don't do it, because if you do it here,

then what's he going to do out there?

And I don't need that.

I said, it's important that you just can tell me whatever you want to tell me

if you're embarrassed about it, fine.

And then I said, I'll give you an opportunity right now.

Have you taken any other cards out of any of the binders

that I've let you go through?

Yeah.

As childish as this may sound.

Yes.

Asking the question, as we are speaking now?

Like that.

Nice.

Really sensibly.

Easily just been erratic and angry.

Like people would be, or like old ash would be,

or like normal ash would be sometimes.

That was the weirdest sentence.

Anyway.

I get it.

You got it.

You got it?

You got it?

Yeah.

And then I, and he was like, no, that's it.

I said, thank you.

And I trusted him, because he's my son.

How did you?

But I had an inkling, Matthew.

So I left it and I came back and I was in his room with him

sorting through his cards and found one of mine.

Motherfucker.

And I was like, hey, I gave you the opportunity.

I'll give you one more opportunity.

And you're lucky, because I wouldn't give

and people any more than that one.

But also, you've got the gun in your hand right now.

It's still smoking.

Yeah.

The fucking game's up, right?

The jig is up.

As they say in the court of law.

Yes.

In the court of law.

Yeah.

And then there goes, do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.

Law and order reference for anyone.

As if you don't know that sound.

It was just a case.

It was perfectly.

It was perfectly executed.

It was like, don't do it.

Yeah.

Moving on.

And I was like, hey, are there any more?

And he said no.

And I said, I'm sorry, I said, I don't believe you.

And he was like, who's that?

I don't believe you.

I said, pass me your binder.

And I grabbed the binder and he came forward.

And he was like, okay, okay, I did it.

I did it.

I did it.

And I was like, bro, I was sad, man.

Yeah.

I said to him, I said, I don't know how to deal with this.

Because I've never had to deal with this before.

I don't know what I can.

Betrayed by your own plan.

I was betrayed.

And I was like, give me your folder.

And I took the folder to another room.

I told Abraham what was going on.

Because she was like, what's happening?

Because I was being this sort of toned.

Because I wanted to go know what was happening here.

Yeah.

And I was also shocked.

And I went to the room and I opened the folder.

He has thousands of dollars of my cards in there.

Again, as a child, it's just this may sound.

It doesn't matter.

It's the principal.

And I was like shocked.

Like he'd robbed a bank.

I was like, wow.

And I was like, fuck.

What do I do?

Anyway.

What did you do?

I went back in and I said, bro, I found it.

You lied to me.

I gave you an opportunity.

You lied to me again.

And he was so distraught.

And I was like, really?

That's good.

Yeah.

I really kept it calm.

And I said to him, hey, you're lucky that this happened

behind closed doors.

I said, can you imagine if you were caught stealing outside of this house

and someone else had to deal with you and with this?

I said, they'd lock you up.

Simple.

Plain and simple.

I thought at that point he had got the message.

But then there's little things since then he's still lying to me like this morning.

But then after I said, hey, I'll give you a minute to admit it.

And he said, yes, I said, best policy is to be honest.

Be honest.

Apologize.

Let's move on.

And I thought we did.

But then I don't know if your kids do this.

He was in trouble.

So he spent the rest of the morning sulking trying to regain some attention.

Oh, yeah.

They make themselves the victim.

Like I would say, yeah, I'd be like, oh, just get on with the day.

Let's get on with the day.

But I could tell he was still sulking.

We're in the car.

And I said, hey, your turn to choose the song we're going to listen to.

And because he was sulking, he was like telling me the song bit like,

the song was called 911 or something.

And I was like, I can't hear you, man.

And I was like, I can't hear you.

And he was still sulking.

And I was like, what do I do here?

And I just turned around.

I said, hey, you made a mistake.

I'm okay with you being sad about it.

If you're sad about something else, tell me.

But sulking and sad is very different.

Okay.

And I was like, how am I supposed to hear you?

If you want that song, project it like, hey, dad, I would love this song.

Or I want this song not, because you're not going to get the sympathy from me when you did the wrong thing.

That's what you're trying to do.

He just wants you to come back and be like, it's going to be okay, Oscar.

Don't worry.

That's always asking for.

And that's what I did.

After that, we got out of the car and I put his bag on and I said, hey,

all your emotions are valid, but I don't want you just sulking for the sake of sulking.

If you're really sad, you say, dad, I'm sad.

And we'll try and figure out what it is and how we can help.

After you hugged him and walked away, we were like, what the fuck?

Like, what the fuck?

Yeah.

She's like, what?

Shifty.

She's like, good.

Yeah, good.

But anyway, that's what I was dealing with.

I think it's the age.

I think it's the age.

Like, Marley's really pushing boundaries at the moment, more so than ever before.

They can be jerseys.

And we're like, oh my gosh, my sweet innocent little child, my little angel.

She's now like, she's got trouble by the teacher a couple of times.

Just by purely not listening, clear instruction, take kids.

I'm going to leave the classroom for a minute.

Everyone's staying in their seats.

And Marley's like the one child that gets up and she comes back.

And he's just like, what the fuck are you doing?

And she's like, what?

And I'm like, Marley, what are you like?

What's happening here?

I think it's just, we'll go through it.

Yeah, we were talking to a friend of ours who has slightly older kids.

And she was like, my eldest son was such a sweet boy all the time.

And then he just, over this time, the same age as Oscar.

And Marley, week by, he's just a jerk.

Yeah.

And then he's not.

And he's a jerk.

And it's like, okay, well, yes, putting the work and acknowledge it.

Because a lot of parents give up.

And they're like, oh god.

And then those kids continue that behavior and influence other kids.

I'm not an expert here.

Me either.

And I'm not going to give advice.

Me either.

But the thing that I try and do, because I'm tempted to be like,

Marley, don't like slam your shoes on the floor, put your bag away.

And I'm like, it's so easy to just be like, don't do this.

Don't do this.

Don't do this.

Don't do this.

Don't do this.

All the time that I, obviously I have to at some point,

you're like, hey, do not do that.

But at the same time when she does things well, I have to really make sure I'm,

heroing the moments where she's being well-behaved.

And she, like, she's so bad with her manners.

She does say no.

Thank you.

I'm like, Parasola.

Oh, yeah.

There she is.

And I really drive home how amazing it is when she does behave well.

Yeah, yeah.

For sure, you spent, I feel like I spent so much time being like, don't do that.

Stop doing this.

Stop doing that.

That when, yeah, like the other day when he did jujitsu on a Saturday,

which I sort of threw it on in last minute.

I was like, do you want to go to jujitsu?

It's starting in 15 minutes.

He was like, oh, yeah, okay.

And I kind of thought, if he gets down there, it doesn't be.

He did all the whole thing.

He was sweaty.

He was there for an extra 15, 20 minutes having to grow.

And I was like, bro, that was amazing.

Like, you did that.

You went over and above there.

It was like trying to balance out the stop there, stop that.

Because I feel like all he would hear is just the stop and don't.

So then he's like, fuck you.

Because I know what I would be like.

I'm like that now.

If someone's like, don't do that and stop doing that.

I'm like, fuck, I'll do whatever I want.

And I'll do it better.

You watch.

So sometimes when you do good things, I'm like, well done, Ash.

Thank you.

Such a good boy.

But anyway, I'm dealing with that right now.

And it's just like, I just want him to be a nice boy.

That's it.

Ash, I have a parenting hack which will change your life.

Why?

Maybe you're kids are too old, actually.

I take that back.

Your kids are the same age.

No, I've got a new bug, a five-month-old bug.

Oh, yeah.

Can we forget?

No, the wheeled that over there.

We don't forget about Poppy.

I've procreated one more time.

Oh, that's sex one more time than you.

That's why I had Poppy, really.

Yeah, yeah.

That's one more time.

You want me to be more dominant over Ash.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know your angle.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Poppy, currently five months old, maybe a little bit older.

She is older than that.

You know she's about this.

Well, yes, Rayman over here.

No, no, you're right.

She's five months, two weeks, and 24 days, and 16 minutes.

That's actually correct.

She is terrible in the car.

Okay.

I hate the fucking car.

Backwards still?

In the capsule.

Oh.

It's like being in a spaceship.

It's some of the kids.

I remember when they were bad.

They had moments where they were sick and couldn't sleep.

We put them in the car, and they're full sleep in the car.

And we put them in the capsule.

It's like we've strapped it down into a bed of nails.

She just hates it.

Hates it.

But there is one song.

One song that will stop the crying.

Ooh.

And this song is on repeat right now.

Every single car trip with Poppy.

I don't know how old this song is, but this song is fucking magic.

It's called duality from Slipknot.

Better.

It's called, great name.

Very fitting.

The happy song.

Shout out to Imogen Heap.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That again, I don't know if it's old.

Bring, bring, bring, the bicycle.

Baby, baby, baby.

Baby, baby, it's up there.

Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring.

Oh, what's your, what's your change?

Every one.

What's your change?

What's your change?

All we need and this song.

Wow.

I just like driving on your everyday.

Wherever the way you dentro.

And this guy.

And he...

We should first...

And the whole day away.

That is good gear.

That's the song.

It just just goes show you could write a song about absolutely anything and you look happy right now fucking happy look at this

After the Oscar story I was like where's the tissue? Yeah, I wasn't it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, just distract me

Sick cool, it's a heavy fucking song Vic thoughts on the song. Yeah, it's lovely. Okay, wow

Oh, yeah, I'm proud over here. Yeah, what about so what about some gusto?

So good now that feels I feel forced. I feel like I was trying to hear what the lyrics

Okay, so that now there is one line in there. Let me just see if you can hear does it sounds like something else

Marine but it's suck my ring. I used to think it was suck my ring and I'll say sure whatever

I was like ring ring suck my ring. We were just talking about

Yeah, and Laura was like it's um, it's submarine. That's yeah, I was like windows down. I'm like sing it

I don't think you could listen to that and not be happy. I love it

And I think any parent out there who has a young child in the car

It's good here. Just playing that song and you'll fucking have a great time. I great. I'm having a great time right now

Moving on to this segment right now

That we still have each other. You can send a short Dirty dilemma. You can send a short Dirty dilemma

Hang on, can I just really quickly hang on? I know we just said Dirty dilemmas

But there's been a fucking curveball just thrown in my court. Go on. Okay. We're this is as it happens

Okay, in the parent group chat. Oh god

Parents and characters are warmly invited to attend the case six citizenship awards assembly on Tuesday

The special event is an opportunity to celebrate the achievements and contributions of our students in addition

The year two students will showcase the coral skills coral coral coral. What is that word? Like oral

Just say that. They've been developing throughout the year singing a song

Where the where the fuck was this? Not on the newsletter. Here you go. God damn it

I don't know what to do. God damn it. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. Send someone else. Send that out.

humble brag. Louis got an awarded assembly. What's that?

Louis got an awarded assembly and it was the first thing he told me when I picked him up

He came running and he's like his little face was all like lit up and he's like, Mommy, I got an award

And they have assembly on Fridays, which we're not invited to but um, that's the dream. Oh, yeah

I would have loved to pop. Oh

And it was a bronze award and it was for you guys who like this actually enthusiasm in maths games

Okay

So like he just loved it so much. I think he's just really enthusiastic. That's great. That's good

Yeah, well if he loves it means he's gonna he does it, right? You do

Yeah, and so if you get five bronze awards you get a silver award and if you get a silver award

You get an email to come in and like watch at assembly. You get the call up. Yeah

You're like get back out there. Keep keep keep keep the energy high

Here's what else what else can we be? How many subjects have it? Let's be enthusiastic about all of them. Yeah

You're not to Louis. Yeah good on you. We're lower getting award probably not. I mean

She's got things she's good at. She's great. She's great. She's great. She's great

She's one of the first students. I got a blue award. There you go. She got something. Thank you. Thank you

What's a blue award? Blue awards

Like a bronze award. Like a bronze award. Oh you're just called blue. You get it

It may be due one every two weeks whoever's just being well-behaved in listening. Yeah

Presented in class. Yeah, Oscar got a little sleep at the home

And it was a shout out card thing other than what they call it color wise. Look at us. Just swinging our dicks

But my kid's better than your child. Yeah, well mine

Your smile is blue

Show me your dick ash

All right

Yeah, Matthew what's your child done? Well, I got it out of the bag and it said it was like shout out to Oscar for

Excellence in listening. Oh, that's and I was like bullshit. Too bad. He's a fucking liar. Yeah, too

Yeah, too bad. He doesn't fucking listen to me. He just lies. I'm gonna give him a one for bulk lying

Okay, so don't do that. What do you think really threw me off? I think they give it to the wrong kid

Sorry, so he's actually good at school. He's shit at home. Jess is written in

Oh, shut up Jess

Jess ignored. I'm going through something here

All right, this is from Jess on the Facebook group with lots of school parties coming up already this year

I was discussing with my husband what the appropriate cost of each present should be very good question

What do you guys think is an acceptable amount to pay for each present for school friends not necessarily family members

Distinction between the two. I like that. Okay. Okay. Well Shannon also shout out the Shannon. She did a poll which I love

Well, anything she asked is it 10 to 20 20 to 30 30 to 40 or 40 plus 40 plus is a bit no one's

Did anyone do 40? No, it's like us

Okay, it was a low line. Okay, well Vic was quite shocked that I put in the category 30 to 40

Oh, there's so many kids birthday parties. We don't get invited to many

30 to 40 we go hard when we get invited to just give them a Rolex. Why don't you?

There you go son. No, what do you buy? I mean, what can you get for under 30 bucks? I'll tell you what you can get so much so much

So Macy I mean you're making me look like I'm bad. I'm out of touch

Macy went to her first birthday party like I went with her to go and pick something and it was like

Oh, around about that $20 mark. We thought it was a max and it was like a bead making kit that was for three plus

Yeah, nice. I'm so it was like big beads

Obviously, so that's came up shout out absolutely and I was like okay, we got that

So it's like it's not just a here's a toy. You wanted something that's like crafty. I think is a good option

Yeah, and that in a couple of coloring books and maybe a book to read a bedtime book

Lovely. That's it and it was like 20 bucks. What about a t-shirt? Put a t-shirt in there of a satchy t-shirt

Yeah

You're like what's hot at the moment of a satch? What about Gucci? Oh, it's a bit hot. Oh, it's a bit cheap

Okay, all right, you know, it's only 70 times like a laugh at a joke. That's at my expense. We bought them a property

I think I look I think $20 is enough 20 bucks. Okay, yeah, all right and look and I think as well like here

It's more. I don't like the expectation because I think that $20 is as much to me as it is to you, right?

But a $20 might be different to someone else

Can I just defend myself for one second? No, okay, we went to that birthday party of the weekend

It was dinosaur themed. I was in Kmart Friday night at 10 p.m

So I bought them a real dinosaur

And also before the party on the Friday I was like hey, what do you?

Because a lot was like that's the birthday boy and I was like hey, dude, what do you want?

And he's like anything with a remote control and I was like got it. It was a Jurassic Park remote control car

And it was and it was the Jeep and it was like 32 bucks and I was like get two of those

So probably one for ash too

So I was like, it's a great gear. Yeah, I'm here. I'm here to I want to make the kid. Yeah

I look spend within your means and don't feel that you're gonna be judged by it. That's my

There he is. There he is

Depends on how close and that's what we have time for now

I should've been way to do that. I know

How did it feel? Do you feel big? I thought it would feel better

I think it depends on the kid's relationship with your child. I didn't really know the kid

I just got triggered because it was the first invite law. I was ever gotten. I was like

How much do you like the kid?

But I also think like as a mom of kids that get presents

I don't want a million presents from my kid. Yeah, very true. Like big presents like they're gonna get spoiled

I say to parents five to ten bucks max like go to Kmart you can get a book from there for like four dollars

And a cute little t-shirt for six bucks done. See I was in the money with a t-shirt. That was a good call from me. No, I think that's

Yeah, okay. I want to say something. Yeah, it's a style. Oh guys for a lax, okay. It's vintage. It's blitzy. I got

April went to a birthday party with Oscar over the weekend while I was continuing the floor that's lasting forever

And she came back and she said someone mentioned to me a gifting shelf

I was like they're just giving out shelves now

Like furniture. I care. Yeah. Do you know what we could use a gifting dining table if anyone does

And no, she's like no, it's like your kid has a party right the thought behind a gift is what that is what matters, right?

And it's like if I get two or three of one thing which does happen

Because they're just toys. There's only so many toys out there

She's like I might just put one on the gifting shelf so that when a party comes back around totally you can be like well

We've got something for that. Boom. Never heard of the gifting shelf. Yeah, we have in none his bedroom

We've got a little section where

The junk shelf. Yeah, we just have random little you know even for Christmas time like yeah

Things around my that's not going to get played with we'll give it to another parent

Yeah, it's a clutter up their house. It's like you know when you get sent unwanted PR like you just all of a sudden

You get a package and it's like a bunch of little nicknacks and it's like for to promote their whatever right must be nice

Yeah, it is nice. Thank you. I would love a pair of package. I do

It's a it's for work. You just you just lost the audience. No, it's I'm talking to just lost

movie, right? No

No

You know when you're flying in a helicopter

You're what you're mean now

Stop fighting it. Okay, thanks rolling arise. Hey, we we we need to get out of here also

Special mention to all the parents out there who were hiding chocolate Easter eggs this coming weekend for the children

and have fun, enjoy.

Don't hide them anywhere in direct sunlight.

That's my problem.

Enjoy having children that are so hyped up on a sugar,

they can barely control their emotions.

It's gonna be fun.

I hide mine in my mouth,

and then the kids are just looking around

for something that doesn't exist.

Oh, but I'm well fed.

Okay.

Do we have that information?

You fucking weirdo.

Oh, sorry, I don't know.

It's time to go, mate.

Okay, if you enjoy this episode, please,

and we are getting so many reviews right now,

I'm just, when I'm asking about it,

I don't look at pornography.

I just read the comments.

You can't anymore.

Leave that in, leave that in, leave that in.

And you can also find us on social media.

Yes, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook groups, YouTube's,

everywhere.

We're there.

And also, I feel people have mentioned this,

but if you would like to, I don't know,

just maybe send it to someone,

this is a pyramid scheme.

Okay, and what we need is for you to recruit other donors

to make us as strong as possible.

And furthermore, so we want an army of donors.

You'll get 10% on, mate.

Imagine a virus that is spreading through the country

and you can be a spreader.

A super spreader.

A super spreader.

And do that by sharing the episodes.

Well said.

Okay.

I can't take it any further on that.

That's, that's, I worked in marketing for almost 10 years.

Very good.

It shows.

Thank you.

And we'll see you guys next week.

See you up.

MUSIC

Two doting dads podcast,

acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia

and the connections to land, sea and community.

We pay our respects to their elders, past and present

and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.

This episode was recorded on Gadigal land.