#191 How to dehoard when you feel defeated

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Feeling defeated by dehoarding? I’ve been there, and I’m trying to get out of it, so in this episode I unpack what’s really behind that sense of hopelessness, breaking it down into manageable pieces, and sharing practical steps for moving forward - even when it all feels impossible. If you’re stuck, overwhelmed, or just too tired to start, you’re not alone. So let’s talk about some concrete things you can try.

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• Feeling Defeated by Dehoarding
• Host’s recent struggle with feeling defeated and hopeless
• Common reasons for feeling defeated:
• The enormity of the task
• Personal life challenges and lack of time
• Breaking down what “defeated” means for individuals
• Self-Reflection and Identifying Obstacles
• Using self-questioning techniques inspired by CBT
• Listing and mapping out the causes of defeat on paper
• Examples of personal obstacles:
• Fatigue and physical health
• Difficulty concentrating
• Emotional overwhelm and stress
• Shame and self-blame
• Sense of impossibility
• Breaking Down Barriers and Theme Identification
• Categorising specific reasons for defeat
• Writing actionable notes beside each challenge
• Strategies for managing each obstacle:
• Sleep hygiene and physical health maintenance
• Working on self-compassion and challenging self-blame
• Supporting concentration and mental health through self-care
• Trial and error with productivity and to-do lists
• Coping with Overwhelm
• Recognising overwhelm as a rational but paralysing response
• Techniques for reducing overwhelm:
• Breaking tasks into tiny, actionable steps
• Focusing on achievable mini-goals
• Reframing "impossible" goals into manageable actions
• Addressing Stress
• How personal and environmental stress feeds into defeat
• Practical strategies:
• Tackling smaller, actionable tasks to relieve work/personal stress
• Honest communication with peers, family, and colleagues about overwhelm
• Accepting that some sources of stress require long-term coping rather than immediate solutions
• Tackling the Sense of Impossibility
• Recognising the vagueness of the feeling
• Returning to self-analysis to clarify what specifically feels impossible
• Using accumulated small improvements to chip away at the larger sense of defeat
• Dealing with Overwhelm and Taking Breaks
• Granting oneself intentional breaks to refresh perspective without guilt
• Comparing dehoarding effort to the need for breaks in work life
• Re-evaluating Plans and Expectations
• Assessing the effectiveness of current strategies and goals
• Adapting goals to current capacity and circumstances
• Seeking external feedback and community support
• The Importance of Support Systems
• Nurturing and expanding support from peers, professionals, and loved ones
• Recognising where additional support is needed
• Celebrating Small Wins
• The importance of acknowledging tiny victories
• Suggestions for gentle self-recognition and reward
• Recording achievements for self-motivation

Links

• Podcast ep 190: What if we forgive ourselves, but now we know better, we do better? Choosing compassion over shame in hoarding disorder
• Podcast episode 174: How to feel grounded when we’re overwhelmed or dysregulated using ventral vagal spaces and touchstones, with Dr Jan Eppingstall
• Podcast ep 160: Dehoarding with the seasons: get inspired by nature when everything is overwhelming
• Podcast ep 16: Dealing with overwhelm
• Podcast ep 127: Overcoming overspending with Paige Pritchard, Money Coach
• Financial Confessions podcast
• Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form
• Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding
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• Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions
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